Legally Nude Ch. 16

This story is the sixteenth in a series. The prior stories will give context and character background. Hopefully, however, this story may be read enjoyably by itself.

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Having practiced for slightly in excess of 30 years, I am reasonably conversant with the concept of unintended consequences. However, I observed yet another application of the concept while Carla and I were in Federal Court in California.

Many of our clients, especially the nudist clients, are involved somehow in social media or e-commerce. As a result, they tend to become involved in a lot of intellectual property claims. Such was this case as our Midwestern client was accused of disseminating content in violation of a copyright. Apparently in the belief that we would be at disadvantage litigation two-thirds of the way across the country, the suit was filed in San Francisco by a law firm out of Orange County, California. The initial filing included a motion for temporary restraining order or preliminary injunction, which caused us to be scheduled for an evidentiary hearing in San Francisco on fairly short notice.

We had found our own California counsel through an informal network of nudist lawyers and filed the appropriate papers for Carla and I to be admitted pro hac in the Northern District of California. Upon getting notice of the hearing, we and the client were on a plane to the West Coast with our business suits in our carry-on hanging bags (you never want to lose your court clothes when traveling). Upon landing and meeting with our local counsel, we learned that our case had been rolled to a very new Federal judge about whom little was known.

There is something impressive yet somber about most Federal courtrooms, and the room we were in was no exception. It had the requisite high ceiling, dark wood paneling, and, of course, the bench to which everyone in the room had to look up. We rose on the bailiff's "hear ye, hear ye" as a seemingly attractive lady who appeared to be mid-forties walked out to the bench in her black robe then told us to take our seats.

As always, there were preliminary matters to be addressed between counsel and the Court. Carla was taking the lead role for us (I was relegated to bag carrier). The lead lawyer on the other side was a rather portly gentleman with a surprisingly high-pitched voice. It quickly became apparent that he was also something of a jerk.

As Carla and our opponent were arguing one last preliminary motion, opposing counsel made an effort to prejudice the judge. Apropos of nothing, our opponent told the judge, "Of course, Your Honor, my learned opponent is a practicing nudist." This provoked a slight raise of the judicial eyebrows but nothing else at the time.

Carla won that last motion and had walked back to our table to begin the hearing proper when Her Honor spoke again. "I don't know the practice where you come from, but, I like to make out of town counsel as comfortable as possible in my courtroom. Ms. ________, Mr. _____ tells me that you are a practicing nudist. If you would be more comfortable conducting the hearing in the nude, you are free to do so."

I was sure that I had only imagined that statement. Carla leaned over to me and whispered, "Did she just say that I can do the hearing nude?" The looks on our faces apparently conveyed our disbelief that we had actually heard what we had heard to the judge. She smiled and repeated herself, "Ms. _______, if you would prefer to conduct this hearing nude, you are free to disrobe."

Carla looked at me with a gleam in her eye and a bright smile. She slowly pulled off her suit jacket, folded it, and laid it on top of our litigation bags. Every eye in the courtroom was now fixed on her, and Carla knew it. She pulled the tail of her blouse out of her skirt, unbuttoned it slowly, and set it on top of her jacket. Carla stood for a moment in her bra, skirt, and heels. Then she reached behind her back and undid the clasps of her bra. Putting a hand on each cup, she shrugged her shoulders so that the bra slid off into her hands. She laid the bra on top of her blouse. Carla then reached down, undid a button at the side of her skirt, lowered a zipper, and let the skirt fall to her feet.

Having watched her dress in the hotel room earlier that morning, I knew that Carla wasn't wearing anything under her knee-length skirt. Carla stood naked in the courtroom but for her high heels, which she left on to wonderful effect. The smile on Carla's face told me that she was enjoying her opportunity to go naked in court immensely.

The other thing the reader needs to know, and that gives this story much of its significance is that Carla is an incredibly beautiful lady. She looks magnificent in one of her court suits or in a sweatshirt and jeans. Naked, she is absolutely stunning.

After her strip, Carla sat down in a chair at the end of our table closest to the witness stand. Lacking any towels, I had laid my handkerchief in the seat of her chair so that her bare ass wouldn't stick to the vinyl upholstery.

Still smiling, the Judge announced, "Mr. ___________, you may proceed." As the moving party, our opponents put their evidence on first. Opposing counsel was clearly discomfited by Carla's courtroom strip. After a few moments of silence, he composed himself enough to call his first witness, the COO of his client.

The chief operating officer was another 50-something male. Taking his seat on the witness stand, he had a clear view of Carla seated a few feet away. Usually, Carla sits at counsel table with one leg crossed over the other. For some reason, however, today she was sitting with both feet on the floor and her legs slightly spread.

As I said, Carla is an extremely beautiful lady. It soon became apparent that her bare beauty was distracting the other side's lead witness. He flubbed or forgot several of his prepared answers to his counsel's softball questions. Counsel seemed distracted too. I think he forgot to ask several of the questions they had rehearsed, or he decided that his witness was too distracted to give the correct answers. The direct examination was much shorter than I had expected.

Carla's cross-examination was a thing of beauty, separate and apart from her bare beauty as she walked naked around the well of the court asking her questions. The COO was clearly mesmerized by Carla's naked body and fell into the male trap of trying to ingratiate himself to a beautiful woman. By the time Carla had finished, she had elicited several admissions which would be damaging to the other side's ultimate case on the merits and some which should skewer their chances of getting a preliminary injunction.

The other side's second witness was a financial guy who was supposed to testify to the incalculable harm the plaintiff company was suffering from our client's alleged misuse of the plaintiff's material. He too was much more interested in staring at Carla's bare cunt than in listening to his counsel's questions and giving the desired answers. On cross, Carla adopted a friendly attitude. I think that the witness was flattered that a beautiful naked woman would be so nice to him. As a result, Carla got him to admit that, even under plaintiff's theory of the case, any damages were easily calculable and probably not that great.

Because the hearing had been scheduled as an "emergency" matter shoehorned into the Court's pre-existing docket, we were only scheduled for that morning. Plaintiff rested after calling the two witnesses whom Carla had pretty effectively turned. Carla called only the CEO of our client who was himself a nudist and, therefore, not put off stride by being questioned by a naked lady. Moreover, during much of the time we had spent with him preparing, all three of us had been nude. Our guy was used to Carla's beauty and, himself, did a beautiful job on the stand.

The hearing was over sooner than I or the Court had expected. The judge thanked us for "getting right to the point" and told us that she would announce her decision at 8:30 a.m. the following day, with an opinion to follow.

After court recessed, Carla was standing next to me getting dressed to go outside. She giggled and said, "That was so hot. I'm horny as hell." We gathered our bags, arranged to meet out local counsel early the following morning, and headed swiftly to our hotel about three or four blocks away. It was only about 11:30 on a California morning when Carla and I re-entered our room and both stripped off. We left the curtains open giving us a view of several tall buildings and a small corner of the Bay, had we looked. Instead, I ate Carla to one orgasm and then penetrated her to another. About 2:00 p.m., we left the hotel dressed more casually, headed towards the waterfront in search of some seafood.

We had a late lunch and played tourist in Downtown San Francisco. After a light dinner and a couple of glasses of wine, Carla and I went back to the room for some slower, more tender lovemaking. We were in the courtroom again, in our suits, at 8:30 the next morning.

After the formalities, the Judge told Carla, "I'd invite you to undress again, but I don't believe that we will be here long enough to warrant that effort." Then the Judge launched into her decision:

"As you know, to obtain a preliminary injunction, the movant has the burden to show the existence of four factors: (1) likelihood of success on the merits, (2) irreparable harm, (3) that the harm to the movant in the absence of an injunction exceeds any harm that the injunction will cause, and (4) that an injunction will serve the public interest. While the Court has serious doubt that plaintiff in this case will succeed on the merits, I do not need to address that issue. Rather, the Court finds that plaintiff has failed to show irreparable harm. As the testimony of the plaintiff's own witnesses yesterday shows, any harm to plaintiff that is proximately caused by the alleged unlawful conduct of the defendant can be readily quantified and redressed by an award of damages in the due course of law. Consequently, there is no reason for the Court to use its equitable power. The request for preliminary injunction is denied."

Of course, we were very gratified and our client was thrilled. Since neither Carla nor I like redeye flights, we had a whole day free. With the guidance of our local counsel and his partner, they, the client, Carla, and I had a wonderful day at a nude beach not far from the Golden Gate Bridge.

Did we win the motion because Carla stripped naked in court? I can't say that. However, her nudity and immense beauty clearly distracted the other side's witnesses and lawyer such that they did not present their best case. Carla would not have had the opportunity to go naked in court but for opposing counsel's attempt to make her look bad by telling the Judge that Carla was a "practicing nudist." That remark, coupled with a broadminded judge, gave Carla the opportunity to look very good instead.

Back in the office two days later, Erin greatly enjoyed the story of Carla's nude hearing. At the end of Carla's story, Erin said, "I wish that I could have joined you."

"Erin," Carla retorted (smiling), "going naked in court is a privilege that is only extended to duly admitted members of the bar. You non-lawyers must remain clothed at all times." Of course, as Carla said that, all three of us were naked and barefoot.

Erin is vastly over-qualified to be our paralegal/office manager. She is also a very brilliant and beautiful lady. She is not, however, a lawyer. Carla's nude hearing was soon followed by a local adventure. A couple of years earlier, a few of us in town had started a "nude bar association ( the "NBA")" largely as an excuse to get the handful of nudist lawyers in town together periodically. However, and to our mild surprise, the group had grown to about 50 lawyers, mostly younger. We had started having quarterly meetings, usually in our offices where everyone could go nude.

At the previous meeting, someone had suggested that we ought to do something to benefit charity and that our event ought to involve nudity. After some investigation, we learned that the local contemporary arts center had no qualms about hosting a nude event. At our current meeting, the question was what we should actually do to raise funds. Several ideas were thrown around but discarded as too mundane, not original, or too difficult to pull off. Finally, Wendy said "What about poke-a-lawyer?"

Wendy was a young tax lawyer at one of our city's mega-firms. She was attractive, if a bit "full-figured" and had the most sweet and innocent looking face you can imagine on a very bright lady. In general, her outward personality tended to confirm the impression of the sweet "good girl" next door.

"What do you mean by 'poke-a-lawyer?'" someone asked.

"Well," Wendy began hesitantly, "I was thinking, what if we provided a selection of dildos. A few of us could be restrained so that our assholes and the girls' cunts were accessible. We could charge people money to stick the dildos into us. Of course, we'd need someone there to keep it from getting rough, but it could be fun."

I think all of the rest of us were shocked, partly by the idea but more by the fact that it came from sweet Wendy. Someone said as much. Wendy smiled and replied, "I rather like being tied up and penetrated sometimes."

Who'd have thought?

As the idea got kicked around, it began to grow on us. There was the exhibitionistic element that appealed to all but the most conservative among us. The elements of restraint and submission were things most of us were not into, but it could be fun and sexy for a short time if monitored. Finally, a majority decided that it was at least worth looking into.

That bit of background explains how I came to be standing naked behind a temporary black curtain one evening with two other nude men and three nude ladies standing in a line boy-girl, boy-girl... All of our hands were shackled to a bar above our heads. My left ankle was tightly bound to Wendy's right ankle and my right ankle was bound to Carla's left. We were all tied to that our legs were spread wide. To the left of the line was a table with a variety of dildos and a bowl of disinfectant. Several of our other NBA members were standing nearby, clothed, to keep things under control, clean the dildos, and collect the $100 that it would cost you to poke a lawyer with a dildo. We could hear what sounded like a fairly large crowd on the other side of the curtain.

While my arms and legs were restrained, my head was free. Looking to my left and right, I could see that Carla (looking stunning as always) and Wendy were excited by the thought of what we were about to go through. Frankly, I was a bit excited too.

Finally, one of our members pulled the curtain away. My first sensation was of the cooler air released from the large room. My second sensation was of all the well-dressed people now staring at our naked bodies "strung up" before them. Gretchen, the NBA president, stepped forward, clothed, to announce the rules of the event which we had kept secret. A nervous titter was emitted from the crowd and for several minutes, no one did anything except look.

The ice was broken by my other lover, Erin, who stepped forward, paid her money, stuck a finger up my ass, and began massaging my prostate. I should digress to say that, for sanitary reasons, the six of us being "poked" had given each other enemas in a small changing room at the center just before we were bound. I'm not into enemas, but giving or receiving one is an amazingly intimate act.

Erin knows me very well and her massage soon had me very erect. Wendy's voice came from my left: "I like you like that, Harry." I thought it was supposed to be $100 per poke. However, I'm sure Erin only paid one but she periodically massaged my prostate so that I was hard for most of the 90 minutes we were only display.

Erin broke the ice. Two young women came up, paid for their dildos, and went to Wendy. One young lady started working her dildo in Wendy's ass while the other came around to face Wendy and began working her dildo in Wendy's cunt. A number of people were watching. At first, Wendy was smiling, but, before long, it became obvious that the two ladies (whom I later learned were friends of Wendy) were stimulating Wendy to climax. Although Erin was working my ass when Wendy came, I still had to watch that sweet, innocent face go through a public orgasm.

The others were not ignored, although the guy at the end to my left had several men do him in the ass with dildos. Fortunately, I was spared that. About midway through, Erin came back again. She had mounted her name tag on a small piece of cardboard and threaded a ribbon through it. She tied the ribbon to my dick "to let everyone know whose property you are." (Erin showed it to me later. At the bottom of her nametag, she had added "shared with Carla _____.")

Only Wendy got off. Carla, being far and away the most physically beautiful person strung up, had a number of guys timidly poke her once in her ass or her cunt; mostly, I think, to see her naked that close. Carla was the leading fundraiser among us. Suzanne, tied on the end of the line to my right, had a novel strategy. Her boyfriend paid $ 1,000 and spent the whole 90 minutes stimulating her with a dildo or fingering her clit. That kept any strangers away from and led Wendy to explain to her later that is really is sexy to have a dildo poked in your ass and not to know who is doing it.

The 90 minutes passed, it seemed to me, very quickly. The curtain was put back up, we were untied, and went back to clean up. Along with the poking, we had sponsored a cocktail party. The final part of the event was that the pokees joined the party, remaining nude.

Cleaned, the six of us went back out into the clothed crowd, got drinks, and began to mingle. Generally, I enjoy being naked in a clothed crowd as does Carla. I got a little nervous when I realized that a number of people whom Carla, Erin, and I knew were in the crowd.

A middle aged lady came up to me and I recognized her as someone with whom I served on a local board. "Harry," she said, "I can't say as this is something I would have pictured you doing if I'd not seen it." Her tone sounded disapproving. Then she broke into a smile. "But, you do look good naked."

Looking around, I saw Carla and Erin talking with Wendy and a young man. Although she was not part of the event, Erin had seized the opportunity to take off her clothes as well. Looking at Erin and Carla from a distance, I was reminded how fortunate I am to share my work and my life with two highly intelligent people who are also extremely beautiful ladies and who prefer to be naked.

Since the pokees only had time for one quick drink before the event ended, we decided we needed a few more. The six of us, Erin, and Suzanne's boyfriend, dressed and went back to our office where we could drink with our clothes off. We were sitting around our big conference table with drinks in hand discussing the event. Wendy, Carla, and I had enjoyed it. Suzanne enjoyed the exhibition but not the poking. (We didn't point out that she only got poked by her boyfriend.) Somewhat understandably, the other two guys were less enthusiastic. From the audience perspective, Erin opined that the event was a success.

The phone rang with Gretchen calling to say that we'd raised

$ 10,000 which we had agreed to donate to a group that helps the homeless. That enhanced the enthusiasm most of us felt.

Downing her second wine since leaving the arts center, Wendy shouted over the other voices, "See. I had a great idea. I thought that Harry showing that boner to a room full of people would be the highlight, but I actually came in front of a room full of people. That was sweet!"