Leila - The First Level Ch. 01

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susypeat
susypeat
61 Followers

"Suck it all off and show me how obedient you are!" Her voice was so relaxed but as always never left any doubt of her authority. This power play gave her a huge turn on. While I was licking up every last drop from her feet, I felt how shivers of arousal went through her whole body.

Half talking, half moaning she pet my head. "Good boy, goooood boy. You will make a very, very, very, very good and obedient boyfriend..."


--- Since I am not a native English speaker I would be grateful for feedback on the content as well as on grammar, use of vocabulary and spelling. Thank you

There is already a more sexual focused 2nd part. I just want to wait for the feedback on Part 1 till I publish 2 ---

susypeat
susypeat
61 Followers
12
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7 Comments
susypeatsusypeatover 10 years agoAuthor
Thanks for the mails

Thank you again for all the feedback. Since my email is receive-only, I want to thank everybody who sent me feedback via mail this way.

feliciacosminafeliciacosminaover 10 years ago
Be pacient!

It is normal to take a few days for a story's approval, so do not worry about it!

I really liked your story, I am looking forward for the next chapter.

Maybe I was expecting the guy to be a little bit more reluctant in the beginning, because the fight against his urges and her strength would be more humiliating for him. You introduce a strong girl to us, why don't you show her skills to use her force? I believe she enjoys to break in the boy...

If you will ever want to publish an illustrated story, I would be honored to help you with some drawings...

susypeatsusypeatover 10 years agoAuthor
Thank you for your feedback

Thanks for that positive feedback!

I published the 2nd part already quite a while ago but it is pending since 4 days or so. Is that normal? What can be the problem and who could I talk to?

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Amazing

Man, you are awesome. Keep writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

I am not a native english-speaker either,but your story is amazing ,hoping for more

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