Lemon to Lemonade Ch. 02

I just nodded and thought about how some people don't ever learn from their mistakes. "So what about you, what have you been up too?"

"I'm a housewife and mother and loving every minute of it. I got away from Carol and her bunch at the right time. I met my husband Jake and we have two little boys Thomas and Steven and a baby girl Janelle. I love all of them to death and they keep me pretty busy."

Tracy then hit me with a dilemma. "Would you be interested in coming for a barbeque and meeting them?"

I hesitated for a minute and Tracy commented. "I'll understand if you don't want to. I was just being fat headed and wanted to show off my family. Sorry if it upset you."

I smiled. "That's not it. I'd love to meet your family, but I have a little problem. Mum sees you as part of Carol's gang, and I don't know what she'll think if I tell her that I've met up with you. The last time I met up with anyone from my past, I almost destroyed my mum and dad not to mention James and my marriage."

Tracy patted my arm. "I understand, but if you really want to, you can bring your mum and dad along with you. We can have a barbeque and it'll give me a chance to apologise for some things I said to your mother while we were in school."

~...~

I was surprised that mum didn't go ballistic when I mentioned Tracy and her invitation. "So what do you think?"

"Kelly, I have no problem with Tracy, as long as she doesn't try to turn your head inside out like Carol did. The fact that you came to me straight away shows me that you're thinking along the right lines. How about we suspend judgement until after the barbeque?"

I sat relieved I had made the right decision. I was just getting over being touted as the moron of the century and it does have an effect on your self-confidence. The barbeque went off well, Tracy apologised for some of the nasty things she said while a stupid teenager and tried to apologise for her sister's part in my marriage breakup.

Mum wouldn't allow it. "You can't go around feeling ashamed and apologising for what your sister does!" We spent the afternoon and evening playing with Thomas and Steven. Mum went gooey eyed over Janelle. I have to admit that she did pull at my heartstrings too and I got that clucky feeling a lot women get when in the presence of babies.

~...~

I kept my head down and in two years, I'd managed to find some close friends. They knew I didn't have a lot of money and so when I begged off early from after work drinks they just waved and thanked me for coming. Tracy kept in touch. I think she appreciated a baby sitter that was reliable.

She wouldn't hear of it when I said she didn't have to pay me. I tried to tell her that I enjoyed playing with the children. It got her goat when she found out I was using the money she paid me to buy stuff for her kids, but I just giggled. "I earned that money as you so rightly put it Trace. And since it is my money, then I think I have the right to spend it as I see fit." Tracy just shook her fist at me and smiled through her frustrations while I smirked.

I worked my way up through the chain of command at work until a new manager took over. Michael Kincaid was a pleasant enough man if a little distant at times. Most of the staff got along with him and he would take time to have a chat with everyone most weeks. It may only be for five minutes, but certainly help the rest of us feel a little easier in our workday.

One thing that gave me great satisfaction was getting my very own bank account along with a credit card. When I applied for it, I was still living at home so that's where it was sent to. Mum rang me at work to say I had mail. When I got there and opened the envelope, I just stared off into space in thought. Mum noticed. "Is there something the matter darling?"

I smiled. "No mum, I was just thinking about the last time I held a credit card." I looked over to her and sighed, then waved mine in front of me, "James owned the last one, I just got to use it! I had no worries about paying it off, no hassles with the banks if I overdrew it."

Mum could see the misty look on my face. "This is all yours darling! This one you'll have to be responsible for."

Dad surprised me when he chopped into the discussion. I hadn't seen him standing in the kitchen sucking on a cold one. "My advice Kelly," He started as he pointed his beer at the card I was holding, "is to not charge anything that you don't have the funds to pay off at the end of the month! It may be nice not having to pay it all in one go, but it will cost you dearly in interest down the track!"

I thought back to the denouncement I received from James about using credit cards. Beverley was right. I had bought my husband and used sex as I did the credit card. I paid the minimum monthly payment, and as dad was saying, it cost me dearly for that error in judgement."I know dad, that's one lesson I will never forget!"

~...~

For the last six months, I have been doing some sign writing on chalkboards for the veggie department. The staff and customer thought doing little caricatures of vegetables with balloon text boxes was a great lark, as though the veggies were selling themselves. I got a wonderful sense of accomplishment by putting my artistic talents to work.

All this was done on my lunch break, or either before or after work. The reasons for doing it was because I thought it added a little personalisation to the supermarket. The fact that I got enjoyment out of it was just a side benefit.

Early Monday morning, Michael called me into his office. "Take a seat Kelly. I'll be with you in a minute." I was worried about my job. Michael had cleared out some of the slackers in the shop and I feared I was next. With little or no qualifications, the chances of getting another job were slim. I always thought I pulled my weight, but maybe Michael didn't agree? I sat nervously looking around the office.

Looking over a folder on his desk, Michael nodded then looked up at me. "You have a very good attendance record. The best we have in fact. Haven't missed a day or been late for work since you started here. Your work ethics are commendable Mrs Garret. It'd be nice if all our employees were as conscientious."

I smiled nervously, "It's Ms Garret, I'm divorced. I do my best. I have little training in anything else so I compensate by doing the very best I can at what I do." It was nice to know that my efforts were actually being noticed. Michael's eyebrow rose as he put the folder down and sat back interlacing his fingers together in front of his stomach as he tapped his thumbs together.

His facial expression was one of contemplation but it still worried me. I felt as though the other shoe was about to drop. "I'm sorry Ms Garret, I haven't been right through your file as yet. I just assumed that with you being around my age that you'd be married." Michael's face seemed flush as he apologised, he quickly continued, "I was talking to Ron in produce the other day and found out you're the one with the artistic flare."

I nodded not sure how to respond. "I have to admit that your drawings give a certain quality to the dull produce tickets. How would you like a challenge and tackle some artwork for the entire store? I've talked it over with upper management and they agreed to a trial. We wish to see how it comes across with the customers."

I sighed in relief at the news and then grinned. "It'd be my pleasure. I enjoy doing it. It's therapeutic you might say. If you let me know what you're after, I can do up some designs after work and see how you like them."

Michael contemplated this for a minute. "No, no I don't want to wait that long. I'm keen to see how this works and so are the guys in head office. You can have Ms. Wallace's old office to set up your own office. See Kathy for any art supplies you may need and you can get to work straight away."

We talked over possibilities for the next hour or so. Michael didn't make any promises but if I could do this right, then I had a chance to make something of myself other than a lowly paid checkout attendant. Not saying that anyone who does that job isn't worthy of advancement, but it did tend to be a dead end career to anyone who had little to no ambition.

I was astounded! I couldn't believe my good fortune. I had originally done some simple drawings to brighten up a drab uninteresting section of the store and now it looks as though it has turned into a full time job with something I love doing.

On the way home I had to tell someone, so instead I raced over to my parent's place to tell mum. She was smiling like a Cheshire cat as I related my good news. "That is wonderful news sweetheart, but it's only what we'll been telling you all along Kelly!"

I sat back and sighed, still trying to get my head around my good fortune. "I know mum! Give a little to get a little, the selfish not only hurt others, but hurt themselves as well!" I brightened and continued. "The best thing of all is that if this gets off the ground, then I'm looking at a promotion and salary package to go with it. Checkout chick to art designer, I'll finally be able to get a nicer place and maybe even a car." I shivered with excitement.

Mum patted my arm to calm me down. "No putting carts before horses Kelly, one small step at a time! I am pleased to see you now have ambition though. Anything your father and I can do to help, don't hesitate to ask."

I thought about what mum had said and then shuddered about the last time I heard that statement. I certainly put the cart before the horse with my hair-brained scheme. If I had found out that James hadn't gone to bed with Michelle and come home early, then I wouldn't have been over at Pam's acting like such a stupid cum dump. Not that it would have made a great deal of difference. James had already found out what I was up to and that was enough to bring my whoring into the open.

I now realised I had doomed my marriage long before that fateful night when James burst into Pam's place and caught me red handed. All I would have done is prolonged the agony and maybe suffered just as much. I do think if I had used what little grey matter I had, I'd have saved James and my parents the initial heartache. However looking on the bright side, I do believe that if it weren't for the trauma that episode caused, I very much doubt that I'd have learnt anything from the destruction of the marriage.

I vowed never to do that again.

If mum's reaction was pleasing, then my father giving me a hug is something I'll never forget if I live to a hundred. We'd been getting along better than I'd ever hoped. Since the breakup of my marriage, he had never really touched me or held me in his arms and I did miss that. "I was wondering if your mother and I had wasted our money with all those art classes you took at school. Good to see our faith in you has been rewarded. Maybe we can get you to do a family portrait, signed of course. One never knows when you'll get famous and we'll have the first Kelly Garret original. "

I laughed and punched him on the arm. "I seriously doubt that dad, but thanks for the encouragement. Maybe for your next wedding anniversary I'll do a portrait of you and mum!"

Bev was just as excited with the news as my parents were, although she had a little advice to add to it. "It won't happen every time Kelly. There are people out there that will take advantage of your good will. The main thing to remember is not to do anything for one specific reason. If that reason falls through, then all you have done is for naught. The main reason for giving is so you feel good about it within yourself. That way if the gesture doesn't have the desired impact on those around you, you still have your self-satisfaction to fall back on. Anything you receive after that is pure gravy."

My life was finally back on track. It had been a dark and dismal couple of years interspersed with periods of clarity in the pursuit of learning to organise my priorities. I doubt it would have happened without the love and determination of family and friends. James was right again, without them, you're alone in a hostile world.

I have seen James and Michelle on a few occasions. Many a time I wanted to go up and make a formal apology, but chickened out at the last minute. I have sat outside their place on numerous occasions willing myself to go in and apologise for my stupidity and arrogance. I drove off every time with the notion they haven't any interest in hearing anything from me.

My life went on progressing in uneven leaps and bounds. Some days were good while others felt like I was going backward. Bev comforted me in those times and said it's all part of life. "As long as you're taking two steps forward and the occasional one back, then that's all you can wish for."

Where was this woman when I was growing up?

Michael came in to my office about six months after my promotion. I'd been given more responsibility with extra stores to design artwork for. Not just in house promotions now, but I'd been given the opportunity to do actual advertising to be placed in leaflet drops, newspapers and magazines.

Some bean counter in head office did his thing and the big wigs found out they could save a great deal if they employed their own graphics designer and cut the expense of employing someone to do it from outside. This was a completely new area for me, as it required me to brush up on my computer graphics with night classes. It was a challenge that stretched my imagination and talent, but I was determined not to let Michael down for giving me this opportunity.

"Nearly finished for the day?" He casually enquired.

I looked up from my latest project. "I'm having a little trouble with this latest design; I have to admit to feeling a little frustrated. There's something missing and for the life of me I can't work out what it is." I went back to the design I was working on, bending down to go over every detail with a critical eye.

"Hmmm, frustrated Ay? Might be an idea to leave it alone until something pops up, how about joining me for a drink?"

I stood up and turned to see Michael leaning against the door jam with his arms folded. I had the distinct impression that he was checking out my arse as his eyes rose to meet mine. His comment and the sly grin told me I wasn't wrong.

"Are you asking me out on a date? And what exactly is it you're expecting to pop up?" I don't know what came over me. I haven't flirted with anyone in such a long time that my face felt it bloomed in a red hot flush.

Michael shrugged and chuckled. "If you want to call it that, I was just thinking drinks to get you out of here and allow you to relax a little." I had the impression that he was comfortable with himself and didn't want to embarrass me any further, "You spend an excessive amount of time here. Just because you're on salary now, doesn't mean you have to work a hundred hours a week Kelly!"

I did relax, then I put my magnifying glass down and sighed over getting past that awkward moment. "I enjoy what I do Mike. I don't have much of a social life, so I need something to occupy my time!"

Michael laughed aloud. "Has it ever occurred to you the reason you have no social life, IS because you spend so much time at work?

I laughed along with him on that one. "Okay then, maybe you're right. Lead the way. I'm not getting much done here anyway."

That was the first of many drinks. I liked his humour and style. He never openly hit on me, but I could sense his developing interest. I did have a little heart ache as I realised that Michael resembled James in so many of his attributes.

It was the way he would shepherd me through a crowd one arm out in front, with the other hand in the small of my back guiding me. It was something James had done when we were married. It gave me a sense of protection that I loved.

Although not anything alike in looks, but as far as personality goes, they could have been twin brothers. I got the distinct impression Michael wanted more from our relationship and I anguished over how far to take it.

I asked Beverley for her opinion and she just laughed. "I have no idea Kelly, this is your decision, your life, and no one can make it for you. Just ask yourself two questions. "Have I learnt anything from my past, and have I punished myself enough?"

That caught me. "You think I'm punishing myself?"

Bev just smiled. "Ohhh, you're definitely still punishing yourself! You work hard at four jobs and rarely go out. If you're not working, then you lock yourself away in your unit. What does that tell you? I think it's time you stopped. James isn't vindictive Kelly, I doubt that he's petty enough to wish you a life of a shrivelled up old spinster, working her finger to the bone. I think you've proved that you can be a decent person, so go and get life, stop this mopping around.

I didn't know the answer to either of Beverley's questions with any certainty. I did understand what she was saying but found it hard to judge my own actions, so I spoke to mum about it. "Do you have feelings for Michael?"

I chewed my bottom lip. "Yes, I think I do. I don't know if it's because he's so much like James or if it's something completely different. I know I'd like it to go further, but then I remember what I did to James. I get frightened that I might fail again. I don't want to put myself or anyone else through that ever again."

Mum gave me a big hug. "I doubt that you'll ever make that mistake again sweetheart. You will make different mistakes as sure as the nose on your face, but I doubt they'll be anywhere near as devastating as that one."

~...~

Michael and I dated for almost a year and I was feeling more comfortable every day with him. At work, we conversed like any other boss and employee would. When we were out together, we left work behind. I'd feel wicked and aroused every time he rubbed my bum in public when no one was looking, or whisper salacious comments when there wasn't anyone in earshot. It wasn't anything outrageous, but it made me feel naughty in the least and libidinous at the most when in his company.

Sometimes I'd go home with my panties literally saturated from the flirting. Some of the other girls at work asked on many occasions when the wedding bells were set to peel. I just smiled and shrugged. "I haven't even got an engagement ring yet, how would I know?"

It took Michael almost six months of very romantic courting and yes, wicked flirting before I felt sure enough this wasn't just a short term office fling. Finally, after a particularly romantic evening, I felt secure enough to ask, "Would you like to come in for a night cap?"

"Hmmm, let me see? Stay and try my luck with a gorgeous woman, who is worth every frustrating day I have been living these last six months? Or go home to an empty flat, a cold beer, and just as cold bed, then lay there wondering where my brains have disappeared to?"

"So I take it you'll be heading off then?" I quipped with a nonchalant wave of my hand.

Michael grabbed me around the waist and lifted me clear off the floor. I squealed in surprise and wrapped my arms around his neck holding on for dear life. He felt so strong. I was nothing more than a feather for him to wave around. "You are one hell of a tease Ms Kelly Garret. I do not intend to go anywhere. Now that you've open the door, I intend to see to it that you never ever want me to leave either."

That night I exploded in fiery passion! The years of abstinence and the last six months of constant flirting erupted into the culmination of all my sexual energy being released. Michael was a tender, considerate and accomplished lover. His raw sexual power made me hotter than a blast furnace and wetter than I can ever remember. Prior, my own fingers were the only release to the sexual frustration that had built in me from time to time. Now I let it all out and I believe even Michael was astounded as to my display.