Everyone knows that we Irish are God's chosen. Good looking, articulate, friendly, sexy, intelligent, poets, writers, athletes, dancers...oh I could go on for ever. C'mon, don't get excited, its St. Paddy's day, and this tale tells the story of one Jimmy O'Scoury and his Irish-American family. This story is just the first to detail the sexual adventures of this little leprechaun and may be followed by others if it meets your reading pleasure. So let me know what you think!
But of course you'll never find your own pot of gold if you don't vote. Enjoy!
Leprechaun (noun) a mischievous Irish elf
In Irish folklore, a small (but well hung) man with magical powers, often dressed in green
JUNE 25th 2004 – MIAMI, FLORIDA
'Oh God, not another bloody Doctor,' I thought to myself despairingly when I heard Mom say she had found a new expert for my condition. But even as I cringed inwardly I also felt that jolt of hope that invariably surged through me whenever the possibility of cure or improvement was mentioned.
"Mom!" howled Patty in anger before I could respond. "I thought we'd all agreed that Jimmy doesn't need any more of these quacks hurting him."
"This one is different," Mom asserted boldly, not cowed one bit by her daughter's ferocity.
"There's nothing wrong with Jimmy, Mom, he's perfect just as he is," Pattie wailed back.
"This Doctor told me today he thought he could help us, help Jimmy," Mom insisted defiantly.
As they argued back and forth, I watched the two of them, the only two people in the world I loved, and the only two people in the world who loved me.
My mom, Bridget O'Scoury, nee Olaffson, a tall blond of Icelandic extraction, she was thirty-six that spring, a vibrant beautiful mother who was indefatigable in her desire to make my sister Patty's and my life better.
Her daughter, my only sibling Patricia, Patty, was simply perfect. No really – no shit, this girl is perfect. She's eighteen years old, just a year older than her younger brother – that's me – but she had already been High School President, Valedictorian, and Volleyball Star and had been accepted into Duke Medical School starting in September. Plus she's 5' 10" tall, a slim but full breasted beauty whose magnificent cascading red hair and freckles are the only things she had inherited from our Irish born, and long gone father.
And then there's me, the last of our family trio, the one the two females were now arguing about. I could tell you I'm handsome and blond and blue eyed and intelligent and funny – all true by the way – but the only thing that counts is that I'm small, really small, and that's the whole effing problem. I just turned seventeen and stand 47 inches tall and weigh 83 pounds. Impossible you say – not if you're a dwarf my friends.
Oh, Mom and Patty always referred to me as their Irish Leprechaun; an impish character that brought great fortune to the O'Scoury clan of Miami, Florida but the fact of the matter is I was a midget and everyone hates midgets.
'Not true,' you protest as you think of something nice to say about us. 'Little People' or maybe "Height Challenged' you'd call me and insist you'd never discriminate against me or my kind. 'Oh. You're so cute,' I'd heard exclaimed so often it made me want to puke.
'Fuck you, you bastards!' I've lived seventeen years and I can guarantee you that the only two people in the world who've treated me like a human being were now arguing about me and my condition across the dinner table. The rest of you have treated me like shit my whole life.
"He's coming to dinner tomorrow night Patty and that's that," I heard Mom insist with a finality that brooked no more argument as I came out of my reverie and rejoined the world.
"But Mom," Patty cried in frustration, knowing she'd never change Mom's mind.
"Who's coming," I asked, coming out of my reverie.
"A bloody old German," Patty spat out, "he's not even a practicing doctor apparently. Supposedly retired three years ago," she added, her dripping sarcasm of course aimed at her mother.
"Don't listen to your sister Jimmy," Mom directed at me, "Herr Professor and Doctor Clickstein is a world famous authority on Leprechauns, well you know, midgets, and he's coming to see you tomorrow."
"Yes Mom," I agreed meekly, surprised that I was happy we were back on the trail of a cure for me.
"You two," Patty groaned in exasperation but I knew she was as excited as Mom and I.
It's been about fifteen years since Mom realized that something was wrong, that I wasn't growing like other children. And since that day she (and later Patty) has been trying to find a cure for my condition.
Actually, in one way I'm supposedly lucky. I'm what the doctors call a 'proportional dwarf', which means that, unlike ninety-five percent of midgets, I am perfectly formed, just small. I don't have the large head, the disproportional upper body, or the short legs of so many of my kind, my brother freaks – yes, that's what most of you really think we are, me and my kind.
But the doctors, first in Boston and later here in Miami had been able to do nothing to help me. Oh, they had poked and prodded, had pontificated, had given me various drug cocktails...but basically they were full of shit, happy to study me, always promising hope that was continually dashed.
Mom had pulled me out of the last study I'd been in about fifteen months ago, finally disgusted with the self serving asshole who had been playing with my head for the previous two years. We had all agreed after that debacle that there wasn't anything more we could do, that I'd just have to live with my condition.
And now Mom was at it again...
"So, at last, you're here, the person who's causing all these problems," were the first words that met me as I stumbled into the living room the next night, greeted by the most extraordinary sight, an impossibly tall, old man with wild, frizzy gray hair and scraggly beard.
Who's this weirdo, I thought to myself as I stared openmouthed at this apparition who stood at least six and a half feet tall, dominating the room. "Huh," I finally mumbled as my eyes fell on Patty sitting in the corner, clearly trying to stifle an 'I told you so' smile.
"Doctor?" I stammered.
"Professor and Doctor Adolph Clickstein, at your service young man," he responded gravely, but his serious mien was softened by a friendly twinkle in his eyes.
After a few minutes of perfunctory conversation we went into the living room where Mom had prepared a full roast beef dinner with all the trimmings for our supposedly exalted guest.
Patty couldn't stop herself from attacking the doctor almost from the second we sat down to eat, weaving a tale of broken promises we'd all received for fifteen years from confident doctors.
"Sometimes I think you guys never think about the patient," she finally charged. "Jimmy's got feelings Doctor Clickstein; I don't want him hurt again just to satisfy your ego."
"Is that why you want to become a Doctor yourself, Miss O'Scoury?" he asked Patty. "To do better?"
"Maybe," she agreed.
"I do know something about suffering, about pain Miss, and then he slowly rolled up his left sleeve, and silently exposed a line of faded blue numbers.
"Jesus," I gasped as I stared at that incredibly ugly tattoo, recognizing immediately what it signified.
"The Nazis?" Mom whispered.
"I'm sorry Doctor," Patty started before the doc interrupted her.
"Don't worry, don't worry, it was a long time ago. I shouldn't have shown it to you," he said quietly, all our attention now on his soft words. "The only reason I did is because I want you all to know that I won't do anything to hurt Jimmy, I've seen enough," he said with a sigh. "Now maybe I'll be able to help you and maybe I won't, but Jimmy, I promise you I won't lie to you or give you some cock and bull story or prolong any treatment that's not helping you."
A certainty that he was going to help me coursed through my body as I heard his words – I didn't know how but I knew it with an almost religious conviction.
"Now ladies," he continued, motioning to Mom and Patty, "I think Jimmy and I should have some privacy while I conduct my examination."
"But I always...," Mom started before Patty grabbed her arm and led her from the room.
"I've studied your file Jimmy," he started, tapping the ten inch medical file that Mom had amassed over the years as he talked. When he added, "Unfortunately, most of your previous doctors weren't much better than quacks, and the last one, Brown, is both a fool and a charlatan." I couldn't help but laugh as he continued. "But I guess you figured that out, didn't you?"
Seeing my nod, he continued, "I believe I can do you some good son, we'll see." He quickly gave me a physical, measuring and examining me with a professionalism I'd never felt in all the previous ordeals I'd undergone.
"You have two problems Jimmy," he finally announced. "One, of course, you know - the whole question of your size or lack of it. But there is another one, one maybe even more important for your future happiness, and that's the fact you still haven't gone through puberty, you're still a boy and are in danger of never becoming a functioning man."
I flinched at his direct words, but then became engrossed as he talked, for a half an hour he explained everything carefully, and then outlined a course of treatment while welcoming all my questions. He finally ended by asking how much I wanted him to share with Mom. "Its up to you son, I'll just tell her what you want."
"I don't have any secrets from Mom or Patty Doctor," I replied.
I was just wearing my underwear when Mom and Patty filed back into the room, neither of them able to disguise their curiosity, their hunger for good news.
"Jimmy's not had the most enlightened doctoring in the past," Doctor Clickstein started ominously. "However, there's still hope ladies!" he exclaimed. "As you ladies know, Jimmy is short. But he also has another problem, and it's this problem that I'm going to concentrate on."
"Take off your shorts Jimmy," he ordered me. "As you can see, Jimmy has no body hair, no pubic hair, no sexual development at all. His penis is like a little boy's, at seventeen he still doesn't get erections, hasn't ever experienced ejaculation."
"But Doctor," Patty interjected, but the doctor went on relentlessly.
"The most important thing I can do for Jimmy right now is to make sure he becomes a man. My treatment will concentrate on inducing puberty and ensuring he has a future sexual life. The idiots who were treating him before completely ignored this problem."
"Will you be able to do it?" Mom asked.
"Yes, Mrs. O'Scoury, I can almost guarantee that I can induce puberty in your son. I can't tell you how big a penis he'll end up with, but it will get hard, and Jimmy will be capable of fathering a child." For the next ten minutes he outlined the treatment, the drugs he'd use (among others, HGH and testosterone), the time frame, the results expected, the side effects, what I had to do, etc., etc.
I think the three of us were relieved when he finished, all of us at last confident we had someone who knew what he was talking about.
"And Jimmy's height, he'll never get taller?" Patty asked fearfully.
"Not necessarily Miss O'Scoury," the doc answered. "The thing about the onset of puberty is that the body explodes into action. I'm actually hoping that some height gains will be made. No, no ladies, don't get your hopes up too much. As I've already explained to Jimmy, a best case scenario is he might grow another 12-13 inches, in other words, at best he just might get to five feet tall. My own best guess is he'll probably add five or six inches, maybe end up at four feet six."
"How long until we see results, how long will the treatment last sir," Patty, the aspiring doctor, wanted to know.
"One year miss, one year from today we'll sit down together again and review everything."
The next year was the happiest in my life! And simply because within weeks I, and Mom and Patty, knew that that Doctor Clickstein's treatment was working.
Oh it wasn't easy. And yes I was still mercilessly hounded by most of my classmates, and yes I was subject to stares and open disdain almost everywhere I went, and yes when Patty left for North Carolina and Duke in September I lost my greatest friend and supporter, but...
But I was growing taller. I was also becoming a man. I added two and a half inches of height that first summer and finally saw the first blond pubic and underarm hairs burst through the surface of my skin. And my penis started to get bigger, yes slowly, but still... and then in September, just days after Patty left for school, I had my first hard-on, yes just a timid three incher but...
And as the chemicals coursed through my body, changing me fundamentally, I also started to exercise, to work out, finally motivated now to make as much as I could from my body. I ate Power Bars and protein/creatine mixes (all under the Doctors instructions) while daily I lifted weights and did aerobic training.
School was still shitty – nothing changed yet there – but I finally had a reason to live and spent much more time on my schoolwork, eager now to get a scholarship and be able to go on to University eventually.
By Christmas I was four feet six, a veritable giant I thought, and enough hair was now growing on my face to make me believe I'd be able to grow a respectable beard or mustache someday in the future.
I turned eighteen in late February, and that night had my first full blown wet dream, waking happily as my now almost seven inch prick spurted sticky cream all over my stomach.
Even Doc Clickstein had been surprised at how my penis had grown, admitting to me one day in March that he'd only hoped for maybe four or five inches when fully hard. "And now look at you, more than seven inches now and still growing. You're going to be a giant of a man with the ladies, my boy," he told me laughing.
He measured my height and weight monthly, tested my growing muscles and of course paid special attention to my penis, its length and girth were constantly monitored. In April he also had me tested for sperm count and potency and proudly announced one week later, "You set records my boy, you're off the chart for sperm count, you'll father many babies young man!"
But I think it was the May measurement, the Doc's, "Mein Gott Jimmy, over nine inches, you're bigger than me!" when something clicked in my head, when I finally accepted that I was the equal of anyone, that I didn't have to apologize any more, that I was a man.
JUNE 25th 2005 – MIAMI, FLORIDA
"So ladies, the years up, what do you think?" Doctor Clickstein asked as soon as we arrived laughing in the room. ('We'll give them a show', the doc had promised me the week before, 'let's give them a real surprise')
As I watched Mom and Patty throw themselves at the good doc, and heard them heaping praise on him, I was tingling in anticipation, wondering how they'd react when they realized the final secret.
"Yes, yes ladies, we've had some success, we've been lucky"
"Bullshit," Mom, who never swore, exclaimed. "You're a genius professor, we can never repay you," she said as she rained kisses on his blushing cheeks.
"Yes, well... anyway let's get to the results," he finally said, grinning as he pointed to the picture he had placed earlier on the wall. "This is a full size picture of Jimmy taken exactly one year ago. Only forty-seven inches tall, eighty pounds, no muscles, his penis..." he trailed off as we all looked at what I'd been.
"Jimmy. Take off your shirt and shorts please. Stand by the picture. Voila ladies, the new Master O'Scoury. One hundred and thirty-eight chiseled pounds on a five foot and one half inch tall body. And capable of growing a respectable beard," he laughed, and you could hear how proud and how happy he was for me in the tone of his voice.
I jokingly flexed my biceps, posing for my happy family.
Neither of the females asked, but I could see their eyes continually drift to my groin as I posed. They of course had seen the outward changes in me over the past year, but had no idea just what had happened below my waist.
"Yes I can see you're curious ladies, no don't deny it," the Doc went on. "And yes, happily we did also have some success on the sexual question. Jimmy does have erections, does ejaculate, will be able to father a child."
I could feel both Patty and Mom's eyes boring into me, trying to see exactly what was hidden beneath my boxers, but afraid to ask.
"Do you think Jimmy; I mean do you mind showing your Mom, your sis?" Doc Clickstein asked, words we'd already practiced. And as I slowly slipped the shorts down, letting them see first the thick blond thatch, and then even more slowly exposed the thick shaft, inch by inch, the good doctor added, "the treatment worked extraordinarily well on .."
"Jeeeessssus Christ," Mom groaned, awe in her voice, "you're even bigger than your father was."
"Oh my Gawwwwd," Patty gasped at the same time. "How big is it anyway?" she finally asked.
I had been already semi-hard as I lowered my shorts and exposed myself, but as Mom and Patty stared, my prick stretched and lifted, bucking upwards as it filled with blood.
"Just about nine and a half inches," Doctor Clickstein announced happily, and you knew that my big cock was one of his proudest achievements. He then went on to tell the rapt females that my penis was in the top one point three four per cent in terms of displacement volume; and that my sperm quantity and potency were the highest he'd ever recorded.
His final words before we left the office were, "Of course, in legend, leprechauns are noted for the large size of their organs and their sexual potency. You O'Scoury's may have been right in thinking Jimmy a leprechaun," he finished, with a twinkle in his eye.
We were silent on the drive home, and I could see Mom and Patty adjusting to this new me, clearly stunned by this new development. Finally Patty started giggling, and then laughing said, "You must have the biggest prick in your school, what are all those assholes going to say now?"
There was a new feeling in the O'Scoury house that night, an all pervasive happiness that had been missing for many, many years.
MY FIRST - PATTY
"Are you still awake?"
"Uh huh," I answered to my sisters whispered question later that night, both of us lying in our beds in the room we'd shared all our lives.
"So, are you still a virgin?"
"C'mon, tell me," she giggled as I heard her moving across the room.
"What!" I squealed as she slipped under my sheet and fitted her body against mine.
"You sleep naked?" she asked, surprised.
"Its summer now, I ...anyway I've had the room to myself for the last year...and you do," I sputtered.
"You surprised us, Mom and I, I mean," Patty whispered in my ear.
"What surprised you?" I asked, but knowing, and excited, felt my cock growing, moving toward Patty.
As I scrambled to move away from her, scared my now long penis would touch her, she whispered, "This Jimmy," as I felt her hand encircle me.
"Patttttyyyy," I yelped as her palm closed around me, "what are you doing?"
"I'm just checking it's really yours, not a strap-on or something," she giggled as she tugged at me. "So, you never answered, are you a virgin?"
"YES, YES," I moaned as she lightly moved her hand over me.
"Please Patty," I cried as I felt my balls stirring.
"I'd have thought the girls at school would be lining up for you," Patty whispered, her mouth just inches from my ear, her hand caressing.
I could feel it starting, felt the first spurt start deep inside me, felt my cock buck wildly in Patty's hand as my first string of cream exploded up my shaft and sprang outward. "Nooo... oh god, ohhh shit," I groaned as indescribable pleasure flooded through me, each subsequent ejaculation sending another intoxicating jolt to my brain.