Lessons of Darkness

"No, it's just... Why don't you talk to an exorcist?"

"Because that would just dispel the demon, and I don't want that. I want to defeat it, best it so that it may pose no further harm. Unfortunately the demon doesn't think my bait is appetizing enough, at least by myself. He won't come out to play with just me, I got to bring my friend. Someone a bit more appetizing than me to the table."

"So what, I'm human bait?"

"I can give you a different moniker than that if it makes you feel better."

She didn't appreciate the joke. "You're not going to be just bait, more's going to be required from you. I'll try to do as much as I can to combat this demon but your autonomy's going to come into play in this one. I don't know you that well but I can tell you that with most other people as bait they would promptly get eaten, leaving my line empty. With you I'm feeling mighty lucky. I know this sounds scary, it is, but I need someone who can do this and I fully believe that person to be you."

She sighs. "It's times like these where it sucks to be a good Christian."

"You're in?"

"Yes. The Good Samaritan won't have nothing on me now."

"I'm sure God will be proud of you," I joke, one that lands thankfully. At least her smile tells me so.

So off to my car we walk. Side by side. Readying ourselves for the clash that's about to begin. But why prepare ourselves in complete silence. "So what's your name anyway?" I ask.

"Charlotte, Yours?"

I knew this moment would come. "Well not to frighten you off after I've gotten you so close to where I want you, but I'm part of the Black clan."

"You're... One of them?"

"Afraid so. Don't worry, I don't bite. Also I probably know as much as you or maybe even less about my family history. My parents were pretty closed lip when it came to that sort of thing and I'm not the most curious fellow."

"Well, what's your first name then?"

First name, hmmmmm. Not sure I have one of those. "If I ever had one I don't remember it."

"That sucks."

"Why?"

"I don't know, just feel like everyone should have a name."

"Well it looks like I'm living this life defined by my family's history. So I guess Mr. Black is a pretty apt name all things considering."

"Mr. Black it is then," she says as we enter my car. And away we go, leaving the church and consecrated ground behind as we venture onto more tumultuous pastures. "Funnily enough my last name's White."

"I guess fate's having a little fun with us," I say.

"So how did this demon get into your home anyway?"

"I invited it, or summoned it as is the proper phrase."

"What? Why? So you could kill it?"

"Oh no. Who am I to intrude on its right to live?"

"So why invite it in?"

"I wanted to learn from it. There is evil in this world no matter where we are. Churches like yours risk irrelevancy by trying to sequester themselves from the darkness at work. However the evil still keeps coming and may even tempt members of their flock away. And yet the church you go to does nothing, thinking it can hide away from the forces of sin. Unfortunately the evil is already in their midst and it feeds off of the judgement they use to try to combat what they fear.

This is where I come in, my job is to wade through some of this darkness, see if I can't just understand it a little. Understand what motivates it, understand how it gets a hold of the humans it proceeds to devour. Figure out how to beat it so that I can impart that knowledge onto others, so that its chances of harming them goes down a bit."

"Aren't you afraid that one day a demon you summon will kill you?"

"I've been doing this enough to know that death is one of the better outcomes when it comes to this kind of work. I have no sanctity when it comes to my own mortality. I expect things to continue long after I'm gone. Hopefully my actions have ensured that we attain the best of all possible tomorrows. All I worry about is keeping my soul intact."

***************************************

So we finally arrive to my manor. I'm not outside it a lot so it sometimes catches me by surprise just how daunting it looks like from the exterior. From what I can tell it catches her off guard to and the knowledge of what it now contains doesn't help matters any. Some encouraging words would be in order, unfortunately I have none. All I have is caution and lots of it.

"You're going to come face to face in there with something that'll completely justify your faith and you might just wish it hadn't. Right now's the proper time to back out if you wish to have any semblance of a normal life."

Yet I can tell in her eyes that she feels salvation is visible for her at the end of the tunnel if she can pass through this trial that's about to befall her. It's going to take a trip down through the darkness to fortify that sense of salvation though, let it brush up against some nefarious forces in order to strengthen its immunity up. She now has a grasp on the notion that closing oneself off from what evils may be only gives them ample opportunity for them to fester inside. That evil is not to be feared though, it is to be accepted because only by doing so can a person begin to transcend it.

"Can't very well keep this shindig waiting," she says.

"If you say so," I say as I open the door.

And now we get to the inside of the manor, a creaking of the door that signals the eeriness that's about to unfold. At first nothing, but the closing of the door produces a slam that makes her jump a little. It's good that she has her adrenaline flowing now but I hope that her flight or fight instinct doesn't overwhelm her.

I take a step into the manor and she follows suit. I quicken my pace to a slow stealthy creep with my knees bent and my hands stretched out for maximum balance. She follows my lead, two steps behind me. I make my way to the basement, where I first summoned the demon. Its influence has most likely spread out and infected further than the walls of that room but I suppose we'll meet it somewhere in the middle.

Suddenly there's a whoosh and we stop. The ground begins to rumble. I think we've just crossed its path. Everything stops for a second, And then echoes without a voice surround us. Hard to tell which direction they're coming from, it could be all around us for all I know. Charlotte looks at me for assurance, unfortunately I have none to give.

"Charlotte..." Says a voice, booming in its depths. One in which a person can feel the vibrations in their bones. A commanding voice that demands one's attention with little hope of pulling it away.

"Leraje, is that you?" I call into the dark. Trying to make some sort of contact with it. Lure it out a little more into the open.

"Charlotte, run."

That is unexpected. Charlotte, puzzled, looks at me. I have no answers for her. I just have to wait and see how Leraje follows up on it.

"This is not the home of a honest man, he means you harm. Get out while you still can!" The low voice bellows.

Now how do I defend myself against that accusation? I can't very well defend myself without making myself look even more guilty in the process. I have no familiarity to fall back on. She has absolutely no way of knowing whether I'm being honest or not. I can't even honestly advise her to trust me. Even if I am being honest I'm still the guy who brought her here to maybe get devoured by a demon. Her self-interest is best suited toward getting the hell out of Dodge.

Still I am banking on the idea that she wishes to serve beyond herself. Serve me in my endeavor to extract as many lessons from these dark forces as possible to better the common good. I hope that she can regain her trust in me if she has happened to have lost it, understand my vision and fight for me on my behalf.

"He has trapped me here and wishes to do the same to you. Go before he expels you from your body and seals your soul here forever."

Really tapping into her fear there, lord knows she has plenty of it just under the surface. How can I stop that? I can't, I have to let her make her own decision and hope that it's for the best. However I do have some influence here, so I just shrug my shoulders at her. A comically out of place gesture in a location where little humor is to be found. It really is a complaisant gesture though. Very calming, calming enough to retain some of her faith in me, at least for now.

"I believe Mr. Black is what he says he is," she tells the foul demon, inducing a sigh of relief from me.

"No, what are you doing? I'm trying to help you, please leave here before it's too late. I beg of you," pleads Leraje.

"I will not fall victim to the lies of a demon. Now out, you have no claim to this household. I defy your power."

Silence. Not the calm silence that is intended as a denouement, but a far more insidious silence that suggests there's more to come. The calm that says "Hey motherfuckers, one hell of a fucking storm is sure coming your fucking way!" I can see Charlotte shaking. Her last act, while being a step in the appropriate direction, lacked the conviction that will prove necessary to send Leraje packing.

Laughter, oh such terrifying laughter enters the room. From all around us, every which way. Almost circling us like a wolf about to attack. The invasive kind that chills your bones. It creates an unavoidable sense of terror in which your only hope is keeping as much of your composure as you can and being glad for what little you have. Having all of your composure is too much to expect.

"Oh you bitch, you dumb cunt. Slut!" is what it says, really trying to get her going. It's hard to believe that replicating an 8th grade misogynist's diction could produce such a terrifying effect, but it does. "You shouldn't have come here. You were being such a good girl, too bad you had to spoil it all. You betrayed your virtues by coming here. What about humility? Huh? What about the purity you had by God's side? Now you've thrown that all away and contaminated yourself. You are unclean. Do you think God looks favorably upon those who cavort with demons? You're doomed, no more love from God's for you."

She's trembling, she's not going to last long. It's only a question of how long she can hold out. I hope it's for as long as possible, her time spent here may give her belief in herself for when round two starts.

"Why did you trust him? Really, why? Don't you know he's a man. Do you know what's hanging between his legs? I think you do. I think you like it too. You can't handle the rules of God, you're looking to self-destruct in the most self-abasing way possible. To give yourself over to this man. But you know, you can only be born again so many times. Eventually no one's going to take you back. They're all going to say that you're a slut. Talk behind your back, slut. And they'll be right to do so."

And then suddenly a terrifying green face manifests itself beside Charlotte, with only one word for her "SLUT!" It yells at her, making her yelp in the process. In great astonishment she runs to the door, exiting it. Leaving me all alone with the now illusive Leraje laughing at the humiliation of it all.

We're not beaten yet though, just taking a much deserved interlude. I calmly go to follow Charlotte, not giving Leraje anymore satisfaction. I find her crying at the front of my manor, gasping and belting with tears coming full force out of her eyes.

"I can't do this, I can't," she pleads to me, all the while crying in despair as she does. "Don't make me."

"I'm not, I'm just going to sit down here and be with you until you feel better and then offer you the opportunity to go back in if you want."

"No! I don't want to. I just... I just want to go away."

"Where to?"

"I don't know... Away from here."

"Look I... I know it may not seem like it but you're ok. You really are. Look at yourself, do you see any injuries? Anything that requires medical attention?"

"No but that's not the point, the point is..."

"It wins if you leave. And the most important part is you lose too. I would predict that whatever you fear that resides in that house will get you at some point in the future. It may not be Leraje itself but it represents an obstacle you have yet to overcome. You may have tried to paint yourself as righteous in order to feel you were greater than what you fear, to shy away from it while maintaining a false air of superiority. Little do you know that the devil already has his hands on you."

"What?" She asks astoundingly.

"Take a look at what you feel inside. Are you happy and at peace with the world? Judging by your interior state are you more likely to ascend to the Heavens or does your interior life seem to suggest you'll seek out much lower prospects when the time comes? If it's the latter then I predict that the devil has you right under its spell."

She has no response for this. Time to help push her toward a proper one. "You have a very special opportunity, a chance to confront what you fear and defeat it. Dispel the despair that clouds your judgement. Not many get to experience this, it may not seem like it but you're one of the lucky few.

You can leave now if you want to though and I won't come after you. I'll hazard a guess that if you leave I'll be left with no choice but to try and take it on by myself. I don't think that'll work, I think it'll refuse to play ball and hide in waiting until I lower my guard eventually. Doing whatever it can to weaken me without another person to back me up and protect me from its influence. Then it'll devour me and go onto some other poor soul.

But that doesn't have to be. So long as you take my hand and follow me into the dark with the promise of light at the end of the tunnel. We can figure out how to best it and after gaining that knowledge we can spread the lesson to the rest of the world in hopes of weakening its influence even more. So what do you say?" I ask as I hold out my hand. Without another world she takes it.

"I thought it would be a little more... I don't know, metaphorical. Something that incense could take care of. Not a real life demon trying to get inside my head. In the back of my mind I half thought you were crazy," she says as we walk back to the door.

"Well I'm not, get used to it," I say firmly.

A return to where we last met, Leraje and us. I thought it would try and sneak attack us, try and startle us even more. However that doesn't seem to be its maneuver of choice this time around. It appears to want to keep us waiting, let silence terrify us even more than any sound could. Then the rumblings occur and with them a return of its unwelcomed voice.

"Charlotte?" It asks for her, not posing a complete question.

"Yes?" She responds.

"It appears as if we got off on the wrong foot."

"That tends to happen when you call a girl a slut."

"I just wanted to help you, I really did and still do. It's just there's a part of you that I need to attack to help you get better. An aspect I must cut off in order for you to grow to your highest potential."

"What aspect?" she asks.

"I see you have faith and trust, a lot of it. But you need better judgement about who you put it in. You have misplaced it in him, a person who voices no qualms about possibly sacrificing you to suit his agenda. Thankfully for you there are much more appetizing courses on the menu than you. I want nothing more than for you to escape my clutches, but my urges may get the better of me if we continue talking."

"You'll let me know when though right? A couple more minutes of talking won't turn you into a uncontrollably ravenous monster I assume."

"... That should be fine."

"Great, where should I put my faith in then?"

"The hands of God, the church that this man is so eager to separate you from. Wherever it feels safe. Your faith in him has certainly not led you to safe ground."

"But if I listen to you I would be putting my faith in a demon. Gets us into a bit of a paradox there then."

"If you want to go against my better judgement then that's your loss. You have good standing in your community, how do you think that will change if they found out you've been cavorting with him? Mr. Black here, the man thought of as the corrupter of the innocent, with good reason too. Do you want to renounce the authority whose advice will keep your good name clean?"

"I think the community should be willing to accept him, just like we do all sinners. If they don't then that means that something is wrong with them."

"All sinners, eh? Every one? Even the ones who hurt you, specifically you? You know, like your father, the one who drank, hit your mom before eventually exiting your life to find new people to hurt? The one you turned to God for help dealing with? Would a group of people be willing to accept a sinner such as that?"

"... If he was willing to make amends and commit to living a holy life..."

"Lies! You know there's no salvation for a man such as that. And a man such as that is standing right beside you. A man who wades through territory that even God won't touch. There's no saving some people, your best hope is to build a life raft that doesn't include them. Return to the church once more, pray forgiveness for them to not count you among the wicked. Revel in your holiness, knowing that you now see the line that separates you from the wicked."

I can see what it's doing. It's trying to strike discord in her. Separate her from so much of the world, destroy the trust that lives inside her. Fool her into buying hate that is disguised as love. Make her hate so much that it fool her into thinking that the things she doesn't hate she must love by default.

More insidiously yet, it will send her back to a place whose goal is to engender empathy among all people, righteous and wicked alike. Create an us and them mindset in an organization that among its directions lies "love your neighbor as yourself." Take the corruption to the source of what's supposed to be pure, sow distrust in the most crucial target that one would aim for if they were attempting to spread distrust as far as possible. That's why it doesn't want to eat her, it has other plans for her.

"I don't think Mr. Black is anything like my father..."

"You're wrong! For he has hurt you. Have you not felt pain since you entered this household? He will continue to hurt you as long as you grant him an audience. You must dispel of him if you are to find any sense of piety in this land. Leave me here with Mr. Black. The two of us deserve each other. We'll be the best of palls."

"I don't think I will."

"Charlotte, my tummy is getting hungry. I don't know how much longer I can keep control over myself."

"Go ahead then."

"Fine, you asked for it."

And then the green face emerged once more. Yet there is an absence of fear in Charlotte's eyes. She is ready for this. Standing tall amongst the terror that may very well decimate her corporeal body, she musters every ounce of courage she has. She has given up on a fear of this monstrosity, fear of whatever this apparition may do to her being. Only a will to remain firm in its temptations, a recommitment to her sanctity.

A clash of light is seen by me, perhaps imagined though. My mind amending visually to a confrontation that needs help from a heightened mindset to be properly understood. We're in supernatural territory here, a place where the ordinary workings of the human mind cannot completely fathom the celestial acts that occur.

There is something pure in her, just lying in wait for the opportune moment. The clout of her church may have paved over it just a little but it still lies inside of her. A purity of faith that caused her to start attending church so dutifully in the first place. A faith that her religious leaders did not believe was enough and instead indoctrinated her with scare tactics. The fools, they nearly did her in.