Let's Make a Deal

Many thanks to HMAuthor for all the hard work in editing and improving this story from a previous version.

*

"Never," she said.

They were watching a show on one of their premium channels, and the two characters were discussing anal sex. Not that anyone on that show or channel would ever depict it.

But Dane turned to Andrea when the characters started talking about it. She saw his head turn but didn't even look at him as she spat out the word. He knew she knew he was joking, because he had long ago given up the idea that he could ever persuade her to take him in her ass.

It was something he could watch in porn videos, but would never have the chance to do, and while he would have liked to experience it at least once, he could live without it, because life with Andrea was nearly perfect. They had been married 17 years, had three children who were exasperating pre-teens but basically good kids, and they were both successful in their careers.

And even though no ass was allowed, Andrea was still exciting in bed. Both of them worked out and were fit, and their lovemaking was athletic and imaginative. They were always trying new things to add to the repertoire they enjoyed on their large bed.

"Never," he said.

"Come on, Dane," she said. "Don't push my hand away. I know you're going to like it. Just try it one time."

"How can you even be interested in something so disgusting and unnatural," he said. "God made that hole for one reason, to get rid of all the waste in our bodies. Pushing something into it is so perverse that it makes me almost throw up thinking about it."

"That's not fair, Dane," she said. "Don't parrot what I say about anal sex. This is totally different. And you have to admit that when I put my finger in there, it really arouses you."

"Absolutely," he said. "And when you put a second finger in there, it turns me off just as quickly. You're not doing that for me. It's for you. And the couple of times you snuck three in, it actually started to feel really uncomfortable, like you were pushing a square peg into a round hole."

"You have no idea how many times I've used two fingers on you when you thought it was one," she said. "You can take them easily. And I know if you relaxed a little, I could do a lot more. And yes, it does get me all aroused to watch my fingers going into you. I admit it. Don't you want your wife to be excited about sex?"

"Not that way," he said. "You really want to get your fist in there, don't you? I'll bet you've been watching women fisting men on the Internet. You don't have to say anything. I can tell from your expression. Those guys are probably gay, number one, and secondly, they've been doing that for years, so their assholes are trained for fisting.

"I hope you don't want me to be one of them. I'm happy with our life, including our sex life. But I'm not happy that you keep trying to get your hand into my ass. I've respected your wishes about anal. I wish you'd respect mine."

"I got a call from Valerie today," Andrea said one night when they were preparing for bed.

"That's the one who's--," he said.

"Yes, she's a lesbian, and yes, she's the one I experimented with in college. But the stories I tell you about us are embellished a lot to get you excited, so don't even bring them up."

"You get even more excited than I do when you tell them," said Dane. "What do you mean, don't bring them up?"

"I mean, when you see her," she said. "She's moving to town, and we'll be getting together. She's very funny about men. She told me she gets along fine at work, but socially she can't stand to be around them. For some reason, they just disgust her. So you won't be seeing too much of her. When you do, just don't mention my stories, OK? She might get really upset that I told you about us."

"Don't worry," he said.

He didn't hear about Valerie again until a month later, when they were alone at bedtime. "She wants to have sex with me," said Andrea after telling him they'd gotten together a few times.

"Are you asking for a free pass," he said. "It's a great idea for a movie, but I don't think it's so funny in real life."

"Would you be jealous, like if it were a guy?" she said.

"Not the same way," he said. "That might be the end of our marriage. And I know you feel the same way about me cheating. To be honest, I don't know exactly how I'd feel, but my gut reaction is that I don't like the idea."

"It wouldn't be cheating, because you'd know about it."

"So are you asking me right now for permission."

"No, but I'm asking you right now for something else."

While they were making noisy love for the next hour, he wondered for a moment if thinking about Valerie making love to her had gotten her so excited.

They had just gone to bed two weeks later, and she was stroking his penis and playing with his testicles. He was getting aroused when she put her mouth to his ear and began licking inside. Then she whispered, "I'm asking for permission."

"What?" he said, pulling his head away and pushing her hands off his package. He knew exactly what, and she knew that he knew.

"I'd like to have sex with Valerie," she said. "She's been talking about it a lot, and I don't think it would hurt our relationship, because it would be totally different from what we have. And it would only be once. And, yes, thinking about it really turns me on. OK, now tell me why you object."

"No," I said. "I'm not getting into the trap of talking about it. You're a saleswoman. You can sell ice to eskimos. You can create deals with smoke and mirrors. I'm not in your class. So all I'll say is no, you don't have my permission, and if you do it anyway, I'll know, or eventually I'll find out, and when I do, I will be extremely upset and angry.

"I honestly don't know what I would do then. Maybe I would get over it, maybe not. Is this important enough to you to put the future of our family in jeopardy?"

"What are you talking about?" Andrea said. "Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

"I've said my piece." he said, and he turned his back to her, wondering if she would resume her foreplay. She didn't. She just lay on her back silently. He was tired anyway, he thought, as he drifted off to sleep.

He didn't initiate lovemaking for a week, and she didn't either. He wondered if the kids noticed how cordial they were to each other without meaning it.

The frost melted a week later, again at bedtime. He was sitting on the bed in his boxers, and she had taken off all her clothes and was standing in front of him. He saw she was excited and was anticipating some sexual gymnastics but not what burst out of her mouth. "I have a deal for you," she said.

"A deal?" he said. "What are you talking about."

"I've talked it over with Valerie. You know, despite her appearance and her sexual preference, she's a wonderful and giving friend and very vulnerable. She really needs this with me. For me, it's just something that excites me, but for her, it's much more."

"Please stop the Powerpoint and get to the deal," he said.

"Valerie says that all men want threesomes," Andrea said. "Despite her distaste for men, she knows a lot about them. She's willing to do a threesome with you and me. You would get anal, and she would get me."

"I don't want anal with Valerie," I said.

"No, it would be with me," said Andrea.

"I can't believe you would be willing to let me in your ass just to have sex with Valerie," he said. "You're doing a 180. This is totally not you."

"Well, I'll be honest with you. Valerie says that the threesome will be enough for you, and she's going to work it so you won't even want anal. She guarantees that I won't have to give up my ass. I told her that I know you, and you'd probably want it anyway, no matter what happened.

"But the idea that I may not have to do it is making this easier for me. That's probably her sales job on me. But yes, she said I should tell you that I will offer you my ass just this one time if we do this. But it will be one time only, and if you turn it down -- and Valerie says you will -- you won't get a second chance."

"I smell a trick," he said. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Maybe," she said. "But that's because Valerie's not telling me everything either. She wants to keep it mysterious and exciting. That works for me."

"I just thought of something," he said. "Maybe you've been talking to her about fisting me. That's not even on the table. If I agree to this, you have to swear that you won't try to fist me during the threesome, and you also have to promise you'll never try it for the rest of your life."

"I swear I won't try to fist you Friday night," she said, "and I won't even try to get more than three fingers in you for the rest of your life -- unless you tell me it's OK."

"That's never going to happen," he said.

"Never say never," she said. "Maybe some day you'll love me so much that you'll give me a special present, like I'm doing when I offer my ass to you Friday night."

"Don't count on it," he said. "I haven't even said whether I'm going to take the deal. Friday night is three nights away, so I'll think about it, but I can tell you right now, I don't like the deal. I don't like the fact that it's not transparent and there's some hidden stuff. And even if there weren't, this is way beyond what we've ever done for excitement, and I'm thinking there might be a big price to pay that we can't even imagine."

"I'm not counting on anything," she said. "I've thought of that, too, so I'm not going to give you my sales pitch. However, I am going to do my best to persuade you in other ways."

She couldn't talk any more after that, because she had dropped to her knees, and her mouth was full of him. The next hour was amazing, and so was the next night. On Thursday night after two hours, she had just managed to arouse him again and was preparing her next act when he gasped, "Stop! OK. You've worn me down. I'll do it."

She didn't say a word, but her eyes shone as she gave him such a powerful hug that he thought his chest would cave in.

Valerie had a pretty face, but she wore no makeup and had a buzz haircut. She had a great figure, too, especially her ass. She and was a lot more muscular than Andrea, but not so overdeveloped that she looked a like a man. When she took off her clothes, he saw that her breasts weren't abundant like Andrea's, but they were nicely proportioned and round and firm. Andrea had a large bush, because she knew he liked that, but Valerie's was like a forest compared to Andrea's shrubbery. Valerie's voice was very low, and he wondered if she worked on that or it was natural.

The three of them undresssed in silence, and then Valerie spoke. "Andrea told you that I like to be in charge," she said.

"She never said anything about that," said Dane.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Dane, I just found out about this last night, and I meant to tell you, but it just slipped my mind," said Andrea, sounding pained. He wondered if she was telling a little white lie. If she had told him last night, they might not be standing here naked.

"Are you going to back out about this and go home?" said Valerie, looking at Dane contemptuously.

"I guess not, but are there any more surprises like that coming, which you also conveniently forgot to tell me about?" he said to Andrea.

"No, I promise you," said Andrea. "I told you everything I know, but Valerie knows more because she's in charge."

"OK," said Valerie. "We're starting off with the two of you. Dane, lie down in the middle of the bed, and Andrea, get on top of him in the 69 position. Dane is going to eat Andrea until she has at least one orgasm, and Andrea is going to use whatever she wants to get Dane to the edge of his orgasm.

"But remember what I told you, Andrea. We women can have orgasms one after another all night long, but men get progressively weaker each time they come. Most men just want to go to sleep after the first one. So you're not going to let Dane come until later. You're going to arouse him and tease him until he's dying to come. That will pay off later when he has a huge orgasm."

"Wait a second," said Dane. His voice was muffled because he was speaking through a thick growth of moist hair that was covering his mouth. "This is also something new."

"I'm sorry," said Andrea from above him. "Valerie has been teaching me a lot about men. I've been wanting to try this on you at home, but I decided to wait until after today. I apologize because I wanted it to be a surprise. Please believe me. I wasn't trying to keep it a secret for any other reason."

"I'm sure he understands," said Val impatiently. "We haven't got all day. Can you two get started. I'm not going to say anything for a while, but then I may tell you some things to do and encourage you."

He felt Andrea's mouth close around him and suck hard. Soon she had his entire member down her throat. She couldn't do this when they were married, but even though his pole was pretty thick and very long, she gradually learned to take it and it was a point of pride for her. He liked it, but the sight of her doing it was much more arousing than the feeling of it, and now all he could see was damp matted hair.

He was amazed at how copiously her juices were flowing out of her. Usually, when he started moving his tongue through her hair, she was dry, and it wasn't until he got to her lips that he felt any moisture. Tonight she was so excited that her flower was already open, and her thick pungent fluid was pouring out of her like a waterfall. The more he moved his tongue around inside her and his head between her thighs, the more juice he was covered with.

He wondered if it was the excitement of having Valerie watching them that turned Andrea on. It didn't excite him, but Andrea's fingers playing with this balls and then roughly pulling them this way and that while she was sucking hard and moving her head up and down on him was doing that nicely.

"Watch out Andrea," he heard Valerie say. "He's starting to squirm around like he's ready to explode. Take it down a notch like I told you." He felt the suction stop and the fingers let go of his balls. Andrea's mouth pulled off of him. He felt one of her hands grasp him and start pumping very slowly and then gradually get slower until it stopped and she was just holding him. He felt his urgency disappearing, and when she let go of him, he felt his penis plopping down between his legs. There was a slightly uncomfortable feeling at his crotch, and he was no longer aroused.

But Andrea certainly was. As his tongue worked over her clitoris and around inside of her juicy vagina, he felt her begin shifting, and he knew that was the giveaway that she was about to come.

"OK, start on Dane again, Andrea. You did that well, but start a lot slower this time. Dane, I want you to time your tongue to Andrea's mouth. Get in the same rhythm, and as Andrea increases the tempo, stay with her."

He slowed down to match Andrea's slow movement of her mouth, which was barely sucking, and as she began sucking harder and moving faster, so did he. Andrea began shifting again.

"You seem to be almost there, Andrea. Let go of him and concentrate on his face. That's it. You're trying to control your movements. Let go and wipe your vagina all over his face. That's it. You've got a good back and forth motion going. Dane, try to get to her clitoris whenever it's within reach, but otherwise just push your head off the pillow as far as you can so she has maximum contact as she rubs herself on your face. That's it Andrea. Your face is bright red. It's beautiful. When you start coming, press even harder against Dane as you're going back and forth and see how many orgasms you can have. There, I see the first one, two, three, four, five, great, six, seven, eight. You're slowing down. Try for one more. There that was a big one. You look so rapturous when you're coming. I wish I had two faces so one of them could be watching while the other one was eating you. Maybe we could do a video someday with one camera on your face and one camera on my face in your vagina. I think you better lift yourself off of Dane now. It looks like he's a little worse for wear."

Dane was not only worse for wear, he was barely alive. When Valerie had told Andrea to start wiping herself on him, he was taken by surprise. He tried to follow the instructions and lick at Andrea's clitoris, but soon he had to forget that, because Andrea was pressing down on him and mopping his face from her vagina to her anus. His face was already covered with her juices, and now she was pushing them into his mouth and his nose and his eyes and his hair. He was like an inanimate object that she was using to masturbate with.

The worst was when she started to come. Her bottom slammed down on his face, and his nose was trapped between her cheeks and he couldn't breathe at all. His head began to get lighter and lighter as he was smothered, but he couldn't move it. He knew it would be just seconds until he would pass out, and then Andrea rose quickly off of him and jumped up and turned around to look at him.

"Oh, Dane, I'm so sorry. I just lost control totally. That was the best oral you've ever given me. I can't believe it. Are you OK?"

He could only nod. He felt weak and exhausted, and he wanted everyone to go away and let him die in peace.

"Let's let him recover for a while," said Valerie matter of factly. "Why don't you get him a glass of water, Andrea."

It took 15 minutes for Dane to start breathing normally again. As soon as she saw he was nearly recovered, Valerie began speaking again.

"You're pretty good for a man, Dane," she said. "But now it's time to move from amateur to the pros. Valerie said we had to do this as a threesome even though it's really a duet, so you're going to lie back down on your back, and she's going to lie on top of you, with her ass on your stomach. All I want you to do, Dane, is reach around her and grab those big juicy melons -- God, I wish I had four hands -- and begin working them. I want you to be gentle, and I want you to be hard. I want you to caress the nipples, and I want you to grab them and pull them into the air. I want you to cup your hands and stroke over the nipples and the bottom of the breasts, and I want you to grab them again and pull them in every direction. I want you to knead, and I want you to squeeze. Anything you can think of to do to her breasts with your hands is fair game. It's like a game between you and me. You'll be trying to focus her on her breasts, and I'll be trying to focus her on her crotch. The two competitions will send her mind ricocheting back and forth until she explodes like dynamite. Got it?"

"Yes," he said weakly.

"Man up!" she said with a growl. "Remember what your reward is going to be later. Don't wimp out on us." She was like a Marine drill instructor, he thought as Andrea lay on top of him and he reached around for her breasts.

As he began working them, he saw her legs go up in the air and then move back toward his head. He saw Valerie holding Andrea's thighs right below the knees and pushing them back while spreading them wide apart.

"I'm doing this to push your vagina up in the air, Andrea," said Valerie. "Not only that, but it's spreading you wide open, so that I can get in deeper than you think is possible. I'm going to start on the area between your vagina and ass. I'll gradually work up from there, but I'm not going to tell you anything else. The rest is my secret technique, which I share with no one, not even you. We'll see how you like it. I'm going to stop talking now. Mmmmmm."

Dane began working on the breasts, and he felt Andrea respond. Then he felt her body jump off him and come down again as she gave a little shriek. From that moment, even though he pushed and pulled and pinched and squeezed and stroked and grabbed, he felt she was no longer responding to him.