Letter from Alexandria

Dear Shoeblossom:

This isn't exotic, from Alexandria, Egypt, but just Virginia... I taped this the other day at Starbucks, and I hope your readers get a little educated, or just for laughs. My friend Felicia is very impressed with my philosophies!

Marlowe

"See, one reason I have Orion in the belt is because I want him to experience what I've gone through, what many wives suffer, all the faking orgasms, you know, Felicia?"

"Oh, sure. It's sad that no one can do me better than I can. Vibrators, that kind of thing."

"But you enjoyed it when I sent Orion over, didn't you?"

"Marlowe, that was unbelievable. He's so patient and gave me this wonderful rubdown, and he spent a long time, nearly an hour between my legs."

"Not too loud there, Felicia. Starbucks is very um, politically correct now."

"Yeah. I was just winking at that adorable barista, though."

"Well, see? You could train that boy to serve you the same way I have Orion. Now that he's locked down, I'm astonished at his stamina."

"He did seem a little tense after he'd made me cum, and we were finished."

"Well, you're a cutie, and it must have been frustrating for him."

"Well, I saw the poor little guy in the cage, and it looked so, um, urgent."

"Yes, Orion told me that you stroked it a little bit. Your new glittery manicure must have driven him mad."

"But why couldn't you let me have a key and unlock him? He did so well. And I was so amazed that you let me fool around with your husband."

"Felicia, sweetheart, I don't want to unlock Orion because I am trying to make him more desperate, more devoted, and messing around with a little filly like you, without being allowed to um, you understand."

"Well, you and Orion are great people, and such an attractive older couple."

"How flattering."

"Well, I didn't mean it that way..."

"Yes, but you won't be twenty-six forever, Felicia. And see how energetic an older man's tongue can be? And that's through the philosophy I have trained Orion under."

"Well, I felt so badly about Orion not being able to have a release, but he explained to me, while rubbing my feet.."

"Yes, that's great, isn't it, what a husband I have."

"He says that when he has an orgasm it takes time for his hormones to build up again to have true devotion to you, and that's why he needs to be frustrated a lot of the time."

"That's about it. And I let him have a lot more stimulation than many husbands. I love it that he watches porn, and I encourage him to service my friends, and any girls he meets on his business trips."

"You DO?"

"Sure, why not? It's not like he's getting any relief. When the barmaid flounces out of Orion's hotel room, he's sitting there, sometimes weeping, with a bulging, painful caged cock, and usually a numb jaw from all the licking."

"You mean um, cunnilingus."

"I love you youngsters and your technical terms. Yes. And the girls get such a kick out of his cage, and recently I had Orion get a tattoo, as you are aware--"

"Yeah, right over his penis, it says 'Marli's Sissy-Boi'"

"That's right, and the last time Orion went to Atlanta, he fooled around with this girl who is in a polyamorous thing, and she called her boyfriend, and he came and looked at the tattoo and laughed in Orion's face."

"That must have been so traumatic."

"Yes, he was crying when he told me about it over the phone. I was in hysterics over it too, since Orion is such a masculine macho man out in public, don't you know."

"Is it true that you may tattoo a tramp stamp thing above his ass, that says 'WIDE ENTRY HERE, BOYS' That seems..."

"Well, of course I can't really do that. Orion goes to the gym. But I loved the look on his face when I proposed it."

"God, he was a little pale when he was telling me about your um, proposal just before he dressed and left my place."

"Yes, I was teasing him unmercifully, telling poor Orion that I'd love it if his golfing buddies took turns jumping his rear in the locker room, maybe making him suck their hairy--"

"Okay, that's enough, Marlowe, really."

"But doesn't Orion seem fairly happy, dear?"

"Yeah, he is thrilled. He says that he is grateful for your attentions, and understands why you have to punish him now and again, it's weird."

"Well, although he's quite the alpha at work, Orion's born to follow. It's a great relief to him. I might give the wink to the barista if you won't, and bring him home, get myself fucked and then have the kid fuck Orion, why not?"

"I doubt the barista would..."

"Young men are full of energy. You have no idea what they'll do. First they balk when Orion is cleaning up their penises after they 'poke' me, and then when they relax, the bi-curiosity comes out, you know."

"Wow, that's fascinating."

"Of course it is. And you know, the kid next door, Bramwell, he's about nineteen, no he's twenty now, he and I began having a little fling after he mowed my lawn, and he became fascinated, Bram did, with my relationship with Orion."

"Really, he wasn't grossed out?"

"Well a part of any young man wants to mate with any girl he meets, which is also true of old men. The longer a man goes without an orgasm, the more pliable and interested in women he becomes."

"Yes, but..."

"But nothing. I put Bramwell in a chastity device, he asked for it, and paid for it with his lawn mowing earnings."

"He let you?"

"He asked for it, and he needed it, Bramwell did. He liked the way Orion treated me.

"And you guys used to have an open marriage back in the 90's right?"

"Yes, and we were both fucking different people, and razzing each other about it, and it was a competition until Orion mentioned chastity belts, and now I am the only one in a real "open" relationship."

"And this relates to Bramwell how?"

"Well, he has been pampered all his life by his mother and sisters and doting aunts, and all the girls at college, and he has a terrible attitude problem."

"And he decided he wanted to change?"

"It's just amazing, Felicia. And although Bramwell has a so-called learning disability, I used some corporal attention to encourage him to be more of a student, and my sister Maeve is a professor at George Mason, and has been keeping an eye on Bram there."

"Really, your sister always seems like kind of a bitch."

"Yes, but she's a good looking bitch, and she enjoys having Bram's mouth energetically going between her legs under the desk during 'office hours'

"It puts her in a good mood?"

"You wouldn't believe the extensions she gives students on term reports now...she's a cheery girl!"