Letter from Rutland

Dear Shoeblossom--

Just a little interracial "Taped Confession" for your hungry eyes!

Love, Lyric Gibbons

"That was just incomprehensibly weird, Lyric."

"Marybeth, you are so conservative. You seemed to be laughing."

"Well, sure. Two guys jerking off in a race to finish, and when the first one wins, they both get locked in those little crotch things."

"That's right. And Tyrus lost, and he was so bummed because he gets a chance once a month to shoot his load, but he has to win the whack-off race with Hadley. "

"The whack-off race. You are so creative, Lyric."

"See, whoever wins the race, he gets to cum, and he is locked up, and the loser gets locked up too, but for another month."

"Wait, they both get locked for a month, right?"

"Yes. But since Hadley got to cum, he got some relief, so his month won't be as arduous as Tyrus, who didn't get to squirt, and ALSO is back in chastity."

"So, it's like, Hadley has one month without an orgasm, and Ty, de facto, has two months."

"Actually three now, because he lost the race last month as well. That's why he burst into tears like a little bitch."

"Oh, Lyric, you should give poor Ty a break. You are so nasty to him. I mean, over that bathroom thing?"

"That was FUNNY, Marybeth! Tyrus wet his pants at work because all the stalls were full and he can't use the urinals. He can't stand up to pee, because he's in the belt and only real men stand up to pee."

"But that's so strange, since Tyrus is a police sergeant."

"Right. My brother is a big, black, police sergeant and it's a secret that he's secretly a chaste fairy princess. Hadley, who is short, chubby and white as the driven snow, is more obviously a pansy."

"But they're not gay, right?"

"Well, no. Although one of the who-orgasms-first races we did was, I made them sixty-nine each other, and as soon as Hadley swallowed something, I stopped it, because I knew he'd won, and I locked Tyrus back up."

"Hadley wins a lot, I guess."

"Yup. And before I locked him in the belt, he was a premature ejaculator, but that's a whole 'nother story."

"And you and Tyrus are twins?"

"Triplets, actually. My sister LeJeune lives in Chicago. She left Vermont right after high school."

"Here in Rutland?"

"No, we grew up in Burlington, but Tyrus and I moved here in our mid twenties, after Mom passed."

"Was Ty a cop then?"

"No, Tyrus was a little shit, and after he got out of prison for the second time, when we were about nineteen, Mom told him that his posturing, "Thug Life" days were over. She gave me permission to do my worst."

"Shit, what's that mean?"

"Well--Tyrus's bitchy parole officer suggested this--every time my brother began screaming about how he wanted to go out at night, or stay up after nine p.m., or play his rap music, I would take his pants down, whip his ass with a saucepan, and put him in an adult diaper."

"Good God."

"Right, and since Tyrus is very light skinned, I sometimes would put him in heavy makeup and a frilly dress and have him play hopscotch in front of the house, since that kind of humiliation seemed to make him a little less of an asshole."

"Fucking hell."

"Yes, those were Tyrus's emotions exactly. And then I made him go back to school and work part time, and use the proceeds to pay rent to Momma, and send the rest as child support for the little accidents he's had over the years."

"That is wild."

"Yup. And he graduated from college, me too, and we moved here, and since he's still a big, muscular motherfucker, Tyrus found a job with the cops."

"You'd think he wouldn't let you push him around by then, I mean, he was not on parole or probation anymore."

"Well, not to be gross, but Tyrus always had a little crush on me, and so he'd grown to enjoy going down on me, and me teasing his big ol' cock. He even was the one who asked me to lock him in the Iron Maiden when I beat his ass for jerking off."

"Ty looks like he could get laid, really. All our friends think he's hot."

"Yes, and only a few of them are sistas. African-American gals love Ty, but you ofays love him more."

"Lyric!"

"Well, it's true. Remember how thrilled you were when I ordered Tyrus to let you sit on his face?"

"Yeah, and that's really hard for him, since I'm kind of overweight and could have smothered him. It was actually the first time I ever had good oral sex."

"Yes, but you're my secretary, you horny fat white girl, and you deserve a little tip now and then, since the pay is shit at the Highway Department."

"So Ty doesn't--he is in the belt willingly?"

"Yeah, and most of the time he's a little lamb about it. And when he acts up, or is temperamental, or when I found a roach--"

"A bug?"

"No, a marijuana joint, you geek. I found a joint in his room, and when that happens, or he stays up late, or comes home late--"

"You are tough, Lyric."

"I know. But he needs it. Or when Tyrus doesn't bring receipts to cover his expenditures, or when I see porn on his computer, it's whipping, and then strap-on rape, which is better for my hips than the elliptical machine, and then of course diapers."

"And you still make Ty do humiliating stuff like mowing the lawn in a thong, I've seen this."

"That's right, and once I had Ty skipping rope in a schoolgirl jumper in the driveway, and that's how I met Hadley."

"You are shitting me."

"No, Hadley's wife had just died, and whaddya know, she was black and dominant too, and of course we started dating. And then Ty and I got to move out of our shitty bungalow and into Hadley's big Tudor mansion."

"Yeah, I didn't think you afforded this on your salary."

"You'd better quit the snide comments, Marybeth, or I'll take you over my knee and whip your bare ass, too."

"Oh, Lyric, would you?"