Letters to Home

Grace also told me that when I leave here I will be under constant surveillance in case the bad guys try to silence me. She asked me if I wanted to stay with her so she could keep an eye on me. Would I be wrong in detecting a different motive for her wanting me to stay with her? I don't know whether I like this or not.

Love you

Sarah.

Head-spin time. What am I going to do? Do I go home with Mom with the possibility of this feeling of guilt hanging over me all of the time, or do I go with Grace with the possibility of feeling even more guilty, or not. Fuck I can get myself into some shit!

Hi Sis,

Well the good news is that I'll be out of here tomorrow. The bad news is that I have to decide whether to come home with Mom or stay with Grace, who has been trying hard to convince both of us that it would be in the best interests of my ongoing safety if I were to stay with her. I think Mom is close to agreeing with her.

The other good news is that Tim has asked me to have dinner with him and I've said yes. All that I have to do is to convince both Mom and Grace that I'll be perfectly safe with him.

There is still no new news of the police investigation. The wait for something to happen is killing me, and I just wish that it was all over so that I can get on with my life, whatever that is. I've started to count the holes in the ceiling tiles, I tried counting each of them starting from a corner and going backward and forward but I kept losing count, so I got the bright idea of counting how many in each row and multiplying by the number of rows and then counting the number of tiles. I told you it was exciting here, I even look forward to the regular visits from the nurses when they come to change the bag on my drip and change and weigh the bag that I pee into through a catheter. I'll be glad to start eating food although I'm not really looking forward to hospital food. Roll on release.

Love you,

Sarah.

What is they say about counting chickens? None of these little suckers are about to hatch anytime soon. Talk about frustrating, what have I done to deserve this shit.

Hi Sis,

The bad news first, I'm stuck in here indefinitely. All hell has broken loose in the real world, Jerry has been shot dead, can you believe that? Grace came in to tell me all about it and how it impacts on me. It seems as if the guys that he's been selling his porn to were none too happy about the mess that he's in and decided that the best solution was to distance themselves from him, permanently. So they hired a professional hit man to execute him gangland style. The police think that they are tying up loose ends and that I'm a loose end as far as they're concerned so I'll be safer in hospital where they can guard me, so here I stay, at least for the time being.

Mom was supposed to be going home today but, what with all that's happened over the last day, she's decided to stay as long as I'm in hospital. She's been coming in every day and staying for hours and if she tells me again that she's not angry with me for dropping out of college and getting a job in a topless, with the emphasis on 'topless', bar I swear I'll scream.

Grace comes in every day, some days she has another cop with her and she asks me questions like she's getting information but I know and she knows that I don't have anything new. She told me on a day when she came alone that she has to do this otherwise her boss would suspect that she's getting too close to me. When she told me that she was real close, sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over me with her lips right by my ear, her voice soft and husky, oozing sensuality, her every word and action telling me in no uncertain terms that she was looking forward to getting me on my own at her place. I wonder if I should tell her about Tim inviting me to dinner.

Oh God, I can't believe how wet I am just writing this. Does this mean that I'm actually looking forward to being alone with Grace, or is it Tim?

I'd better stop or I'll have to play with myself to ease the sensation that I'm feeling. What the fuck, hold on while I take care of business.

I'm back and feeling better. Phew! I can't believe I didn't have the nurses rushing in to find out what was happening when I came. I expect that if you hold the paper to your nose you'll smell me.

Love you,

Sarah.

My new hobby is keeping me sane, if only I had a dildo I'd be in heaven, or a cock even, now that's a thought. I'll have to work on that.

Hi Sis,

I have really started something. It's been so boring here when there's been no-one around that I've started playing with myself under the covers. It's making me so horny that if I don't get laid soon I'll go mad. The nurses had started to take me outside to sit in the sunshine for about thirty minutes each day. The sunshine feels good, but I can't wait to get back to bed.

Tim came by last night after Grace had left and we talked about where we were going to go for dinner when I'm eventually released from this, well it is, prison. Each suggestion is more outrageous than the previous, we talked about Paris and Tuscany and New York and Tim will have to be earning a squillion dollars a year to pay for this indulgence. While we were talking he was sitting on the bed beside me and I took his hand and placed it between my legs. He got the message and, even through the covers, it felt so good and I was soon squirming in pleasure at his manipulations. Then his fucking pager went off, blowing the moment. What a disappointment. He tried to hide his hard-on from me without success and I grabbed it and held on, not wanting him to leave. He told me to 'hold that thought' and, breaking free from my grasp, he scurried away.

Wouldn't you know it, I stayed awake for as long as I could but he didn't come back. He'd better have a good excuse.

I think I'll do the same to Grace to see how she reacts, if I play my cards right I can have the best of both worlds.

Love you,

Sarah.

I spend my day either anticipating my next visitor, of pleasuring myself. I don't know which of these I look forward to more.

Hi Sis,

You should have seen the look on Grace's face when I took her hand and placed it between my legs, talk about the cat that got the canary, she had a smile a mile wide, and she knows how to use her fingers, I have never felt anything like it. While she was finger fucking me her lips were busy kissing me and sucking on my nipples through that horrible gown that they make me wear, I mean to say I have nothing else, after all I was naked when I was found.

Somewhere in amongst all of this sex she did tell me that Interpol had located a Web site that looked as if it is the one that Jerry would have uploaded what happened to me. The listings are deliberately vague and it will take time to sift through them, but, with a little luck, because the upload will have been recent, they figure it may not take that long. Here's hoping, I want to get out of here.

Mom still comes in every day but she hasn't been staying very long, I guess she senses that we don't really have that much to talk about. It is good to see her though because I know that she does love me and does care about me. How's Pop getting on? Mom hasn't said much about him and what he thinks about all of this.

I have to finish now, Tim's due for his daily visit.

Love you,

Sarah.

Great news! Things have reached to point where I don't need to be here anymore, Yay! I'm looking forward to Tim and dinner probably more than staying with Grace, I wonder if I've made the right decision?

Hi Sis,

Guess what? I'm out of here tomorrow!!! It'll be great! I'm staying with Grace until after the trial so she can keep an eye on me to protect me from the bad guys. And Tim is taking me to dinner! He hasn't told me where, he says it's a secret but that I won't be disappointed. The first thing is to go home and pack some clothes, Mom brought some in for me to wear when I leave but I'll need more including something nice to wear to dinner. I can't wait! You've probably guessed by now that I'm excited to be finally out of this place. I know that it was the best for me to get better both physically and emotionally but it was so boring right up until I rediscovered the pleasures of masturbation and seduction.

I'll write in two days to tell you how it all went.

Wish me luck. I love you,

Sarah.

Hi Sis,

What a fucking mess. Last night was a total disaster. It began well enough, the restaurant was the best, I don't know how much it cost but Tim was obviously out to impress, and he succeeded. Then after dinner we walked for a while and then he hailed a horse-drawn carriage for a tour of Washington Park, so romantic, and then we went to his apartment and made love. It was everything I hoped it would be, he was gentle with me, not forcing himself on me just easing into it and when his cock found its way into my pussy the flood-gates opened and we were almost swimming in it. He had no trouble getting his cock into my pussy, it was so wet by the time he got to that point that it could almost have been twice as big and slipped right on in.

After about an hour of the most sensational sex he took me home to Grace's apartment. She had been waitin up for me and I thought for a moment that she was disappointed when Tim walked in with me, but her mood changed in an instant and she greeted both of us enthusiastically.

This is where it starts to get really weird. She had a DVD burnt from one of the videos from the Web site she had told me about and she wanted me to see it to see if I recognized anyone. I'll tell it to you exactly as it happened.

I was the star attraction of this disgusting show. It was obvious that I was either drugged or very drunk, I could hardly stand up and I was shoved onto a sofa like a rag doll. And then it began, cocks were shoved in my mouth and I was gagging and, at one stage I threw up on the floor. The bastards laughed! Then one of them spread my legs and shoved his cock into me. I winced at the brutality of it, if I hadn't been drugged the pain would have been excruciating, but not as bad as what happened next. The bastard didn't even apply any lubricant before his cock was jammed into my arse. He worked away at it for a while before he rolled onto his back with his cock still in my arse and one of the other men climbed between his legs and pushed his cock into my pussy. This excited them no end and they laughed as their cocks slid in and out of my holes.

While this was going on two other men were kneeling either side of my head pushing their cocks into my mouth. Then it was a case of musical holes as places were swapped and new men joined in, replacing those who had started it all. This was all happening in real time, or at least it appeared to be because there was no obvious editing, it looked as if they used a steadi-cam because the camera moved smoothly around the room and the focus changed to get the best view of the action, action that had been happening for an hour. That's when it all went pear-shaped. It was getting close to the end, all of them were standing around jerking themselves off and taking it in turns to shove their cocks into my mouth before pulling out at the last second to cum either in my mouth which they forced open, on my face, that must have amused them because they all laughed especially when a shot of cum hit me in the eye, or cum was shot over my tits.

I just sat there, staring at the screen, my mouth open in horror. I had rationalized that something like this must have happened to me and now I knew the extent of the depravity of these men. It disgusted me that men could sink so low as to drug a girl so that they could do this to her, that they thought so little of her that they could degrade her so totally and then toss her away like so much rubbish. Then something caught my attention, in the background, wanking away on his cock, the one that had so recently been inside me, was Tim.

"You fucking bastard!" I yelled at him. "How the fuck could you do that to me!"

At this time the bedroom door opened and two policemen walked into the room. "Timothy Crawford, you are under arrest for the rape of Sarah Thomas, we are also considering the charge of being an accessory to the attempted murder of Sarah Thomas." The Miranda followed and he was cuffed.

"I would like to say something." He looked from me to Grace who nodded. "Yes I was there, I arrived late and I never participated in the sex, it disgusted me so much that I had to jerk myself to make it look like I was involved. I don't know who administered the drug, I suspect the barman sometimes known as Andy, but Sarah was in an almost comatose state when I got there. There were six of them so there was nothing I could do but to wait for the opportunity to slip away un-noticed and try and get help." He looked at Grace. "I'm sure that you have analyzed the semen samples that were taken; I will give you a DNA sample that will clear me of any involvement in the rape."

"Fate stepped in and I was unable to contact the police. After they had finished, and while they were gloating over the preview of the video, my pager went off and I was called into work to take care of an emergency. It was a motor vehicle accident with multiple and extensive injuries that required several hours of surgery that kept me busy until about seven in the morning. And then you were brought in and my focus was on saving you. I have proof of when I got back to the hospital and you will be able to work out what time I would have left the bar. When I left them they were discussing whether they needed to reshoot some sequences or not. I think some of them were in favor just so that they could fuck you again. Up to that time there had been no mention of what was planned for you because, if there had been, do you honestly think that I would have allowed them to do it? You do believe me, don't you?"

"I want to, but I don't know."

Grace spoke up. "Tim, whether Sarah believes you or not is irrelevant, it's whether I believe you that's important. I have some questions that I need answered, firstly, how did you get involved with Jerry?"

"He was my step-brother, we had the same mother but different fathers. His father was always in trouble with the law, petty stuff, while he had legitimate businesses like a restaurant, he was also a strip club owner, something that he managed to keep from my mother until after they were married. She put up with his various business interests, which included prostitution, for the sake of Jerry but she had eventually had enough and left. Jerry was a teenager and chose to stay with his father, I guess that he took over the business when his father got shot, he would have been in his late twenties by then. I saw him occasionally and then a year ago he ended up in hospital getting treatment for a heart condition, I think that he thought that I saved his life and that he owed me. He recognized me and invited me to Peppers for some 'private entertainment'. That is why I happened to be there that night, it was the first time for me and certainly the last, believe me."

"You had no idea what this private entertainment involved then?"

"No. Well that's not entirely true, I'd heard rumors of that sort of thing going on and thought that it might have been something like that and a part of me wondered what it would feel like. I was curious, I'd never done anything like this before, I don't even have a steady girlfriend and my sex life is very limited indeed."

"Have you ever heard of snuff movies?"

"Yes, I've seen studies on them as part of my medical training, we have to know the signs when performing an autopsy before issuing a death certificate."

"So you weren't aware that Sarah here was to be the star attraction of a snuff movie?"

"No! If I'd known that I would never have been there, I would have been down at the police station talking to someone about it with the view of stopping it. I don't care if he was my step-brother, if I'd known he was into that disgusting thing I would have been only too happy to see him in jail."

"Okay. The fact of the matter is that you were there and as such you are important to us as a material witness to this crime. Interpol are rounding up the directors of the video distribution company involved so we have been given the green light to proceed with our case so, we need you to help us with our inquiries and, at a later stage, to give evidence. In the mean time you are to stay right away from Sarah, you've hurt her enough for the time being."

The expression on his face was pleading with me for help, it told me that the last thing that he wanted was to leave me alone in Grace's clutches. "Is that a police decision or a personal one?"

Grace's reluctance to answer was the answer.

The weirdness didn't end there. Grace and I were alone, I was in her spare bedroom trying to get to sleep and finding it impossible. I was thinking about what had just happened when the door opened and Grace came in. "You can't sleep either, huh?"

"No, there's too much going on in my head."

She sat on the edge of my bed and began stroking my face and whispering something, I couldn't make out what it was. Then she bent over and kissed me, I mean really kissed me. I tried to avoid the attention but gave up. She must have seen this as my acceptance of her advances because the next thing was she slipped under the covers with me and began to caress me.

"Please no, I don't feel like it." I tried to push her hand away.

"You don't feel like it because you're too upset, or you don't feel like it with me?"

"Both. I'm too upset to participate in this let alone enjoy it and, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not cut out to be a lesbian."

"Tim?"

"Yes."

"I think that tomorrow you should pack up your things and go home to mother, get away for a while and clear your head." It was obvious that she was hoping that I would harbor lesbian tendencies when I'd had a chance to think this through.

"No. Tomorrow morning I'm going back to my apartment and set about replacing my ID and credit cards so that I can get on with my life. Plus, I want to be with Tim just as much as he wants to be with me. Can you accept that?"

"I guess I don't have any choice do I? This seems to be the story of my life, just when it looks like I've met a girl that I can see myself with in a committed relationship, something happens to fuck it up."

"Look, it's not your fault, I admit that there were times when I could see us together, but then my maternal instincts kicked in. I want a partner, husband even, and kids, my own kids. I want the whole experience, the making love to my partner, the finding out that I'm pregnant, the whole gestation process and giving birth to a healthy baby. I want to be there for my children, to see them grow, to help them find out who they are, and to see them develop into all that they are capable of. Call me old fashioned but that's what I want, do you understand that?"

She hugged me. "Yes I do, and in a way I think that I could be jealous of you and your dreams. Go to sleep and in the morning I'll take you home."

So Sis, I'm not coming home any time soon except maybe to introduce Tim to the family.

Love you,

Sarah.