Letting Go Ch. 01

I took him to my favorite guitar shop one day in February, I played guitar when I had free time and I enjoyed coming here to check out some of their stock. Simon seemed preoccupied by some pianos, so I started checking out some of their newer acoustic guitars. I played my favorite song by The Smashing Pumpkins called "Today". I was really into it when I turned around and I saw Simon crying. I was really concerned, I've never seen him cry before. "Hey what's wrong?" I walked over to give him a hug.

******Simon's POV******

I was overwhelmed by what that song meant to me. It brought back too many memories of Adam at once. He played that song for me when I was down, and he always hummed it when we were together. That song had so much meaning to me, and I never listened to it since Adam passed.

******Reggie******

"Adam," he cried between sobs, "Adam, it's... Adam."

I was very confused, who was Adam? Did he hurt Simon? Is he Simon's brother?

"Hey, hey, it's ok, do you want to talk about it in the car?" I asked trying to sooth him.

Once we got in, Simon seemed a lot more collected than he was inside the shop.

"I'm sorry Reggie, it's just that song reminds me of Adam." He confessed. I heard that name for a second time again, and I still had no idea who Adam was.

"Simon," I touched his arm, "tell me about it, you can talk to me. I'll listen."

He took a deep breath before revealing what I've been dying to know. "Adam was my first boyfriend..." He said. An ex? The only time I heard anything about an ex was when Simon told me he last went on a date 3 years ago. "I really loved Adam... I did everything with him. We were inseparable, but I lost him to lung cancer 3 years ago. It was the hardest thing I've ever endured in my entire life."

I tried to process what he had just confessed to me. Adam... ex-boyfriend... first love... Aha! Everything clicked together as I realized why Adam was important. Maybe Simon wasn't acting his best because he was distraught by Adam's death. Maybe he hasn't had closure yet, and he's still was not ready for a relationship. I felt like such an asshole for not knowing this earlier, I felt like an asshole for not helping him, and I especially felt like an ultra ass by trying to make him like me more than anything else.

"Simon, I don't know what it's like to lose someone that you had given your heart to," I began, but he was looking out the window. I gently grabbed his hand and said, "but I know that you don't have to be alone anymore. I will be here for you Simon, when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to make you smile and laugh until all the pain goes away."

He looked at me with his big blue eyes and he began tearing up. A real smile spread across his face. I knew that his smile meant that he would finally begin accepting me into his life, and that I could help him on his journey to closure. His smile and his genuine eyes invited me into his world, and that just maybe, he would finally let me be a part of his life.

***

It was starting to get late, and we drove around town talking all day about Adam and our families. He seemed to really loosen up around me, and he smiled and laughed more often when I cracked jokes. We held hands as we drove on the freeway, back towards our homes. We were quiet by the time we were in the city, but the warmth of his hand was enough to keep me satisfied. He began tracing my arm and touching my neck; his touch sent shivers spine and made my blood heat up. I knew he wanted something from me, and I parked at a fast food restaurant to talk about it. "Is there something you ne-" I was about to ask, but he stopped me mid-sentence to kiss me, not our regular cute kiss, but a passionate one. I closed my eyes to savor this moment, as our tongues swirled and danced in our connecting ballrooms. We pulled away after 30 seconds of steamy making out and my boner felt tight under my jeans. "I think we should," was all he told me, but I already knew in my heart what he meant. Simon was finally going to be mine.

******Simon******

I could hardly contain myself as Reggie drove around looking for empty lots around the city. I couldn't believe I was letting myself do this, I was about to get dicked down for the first time in 3 years. I didn't know what it was about today, maybe it was what Reggie said to me earlier or how sexy he felt when our mouths were together, but I wanted Reggie more than anything tonight. We finally stopped behind a diner, and after we made sure no one was around, we jumped to the back. "Protection?" I asked.

"Oh please, I've been prepared for this moment since the first day we dated," he laughed. He pulled out a condom and a small bottle of lube. We made out in the back of his pickup for what seemed like hours. We pulled off our shirts as our mouths attached again, we were human magnets, and there was no way in hell that we were going be separated right now. Our hands explored each other as our bodies rubbed together creating an obsessive warmth that I felt myself getting lost in. We took off our pants and underpants as we gazed in admiration of each other's bodies. Reggie was just like I dreamt he would be, except a little less defined, and a lot was hairier but that made it a lot hotter. His strong arms pinned me on the seats as he came down on top of me with a flurry of licks and bites that made me arch my back.

The tight space his truck gave us made this a lot more intimate and exciting than a bed would. "I've dreamt about this gorgeous piece of meat for weeks," he groaned while taking my dick in his hand. I didn't even get to answer as he began licking and stroking it. He took the whole thing in his mouth shortly after and he began exploring and tracing it with his tongue. I couldn't even speak proper English right now, I could only moan and yell "Fuck!" as he edged me closer and closer to a climax. "Don't make me cum!" I begged him, and he obeyed. He lubricated my asshole and began stretching it with his fingers. I was dispensing precum at a remarkable rate, and our dicks glistened in the moonlight. He wrapped his dick in a condom, and kissed me as he inserted the tip. His dick made me quiver and a moan escaped my mouth as he said "Your hole is so fucking tight, it'll take me a lot not to cum right now."

He slowly began inserting his throbbing cock inch by inch into my begging asshole, until all his 8 inches disappeared from view. I almost came just from feeling it pulsate within me, and he soon began working up my ass with his dick. He slowly began fucking me in missionary position as he moaned incomprehensible words that probably meant he was really enjoying himself. I didn't even need to stroke my dick because he was scraping my prostate with his cock. He began fucking me like a rabbit and he yelled "I'm fucking cumming Simon!!" He grabbed me and pulled me into a long kiss as I felt his dick pulsating and filling up the condom. I was so turned on by his sweating and groaning, and he began stroking me with his dick still inside of me. Within two minutes, I came so hard that I marked the car window and the seatbelts. He collapsed onto me, breathing heavily. We were sticky with sweat and cum, and he gave me a wet kiss. Our eyes met and we smiled at how intense and real our lovemaking was. "You're gonna have to clean this mess up!" He exclaimed laughing.

"Only if you help me," I playfully said, sucking his finger.

We quickly wiped down and he drove me home. This was the happiest I had ever been in a long time. I don't know if it was his strong hug, or his caring words but Reggie was slowly starting to heal me with his affection. "I had a great time tonight Reggie," I said.

"Me too Simon," he smiled, "I'll see you next time?"

"Yeah next time..." I trailed off. We made out on my stairs one last time before we said goodbye to each other. I thought about Reggie all night long, and how he had touched me, both inside and out, tonight. I had a warm feeling inside when I thought of him, and for once in 3 years, I felt joy. Adam's death anniversary was a month from now, and I contemplated about what I would do for an hour. Maybe it was time to move on, maybe it was time to let go.

****

Reggie and I went on a few dates since we first had sex, and we seemed to be compelled to each other a lot more. Whenever I talked to him, I couldn't stop because we both made each other feel great. Reggie was beginning to remove the vacancy that sat in my heart, and I was finally beginning to enjoy life once again.

Adam's death anniversary was today, and Reggie and I drove over 2 hours to the cemetery were he laid. I had brought carnations along with me to place on his grave, and Reggie brought roses. I didn't even tell him to bring flowers but he argued that his mom always told him to pay respect to the deceased. Once we got there, the sun was shining overhead as a cold breeze brought in the salty scent of the ocean and swept the overgrown emerald shrubs. It was like Adam was greeting me to his resting place.

I stood at the foot of his tombstone and looked down. "Adam Larkin, loving brother, respected son, and a golden soul. 1996-2014." I closed my eyes as my heart tightened and beat hard against my chest, I thought I would be ready for this, but I wasn't. My tears watered the neatly trimmed grass that sat around his grave, and I felt all alone once again. A strong hand grabbed my shoulder, as Reggie peered into my eyes and confidently said, "I got this, Simon." I watched in confusion as he crouched down near the grave and stared at the headstone.

"Hey Adam, my name is Richard Harrison, but you can call me Reggie," he began. I watched in silence as he continued on. "I'm 27, and I was born and raised here in Maryland. I'll be honest with you Adam, I've never met you in person, and I know I never will, but I'd really like to thank you for taking good care of Simon for me. I'm glad you took him under your care and love when he was struggling adjusting to his new life here without his dad. I've come here not only to pay my respects to you, but to request that I take the baton from your hands, and continue the race for you with Simon. I promise, on my own life, that I will do everything in my ability and beyond to protect Simon at all costs, to make him smile when he cries, to treat him with respect and encourage him when he faces his greatest fears. But above all, I promise to love him, just like you would... It was nice to meet you Adam." He gently placed his roses on the grave and turned around to face me. My eyes were flooded with tears and my breaths came in short gasps. He had said everything so eloquently, and I know that within the deep recesses of my heart, he was telling the truth. He grabbed my waist and he began urging me to say something.

We blankly looked at his headstone, but I began collecting myself. "Adam," I said, "Reggie and I really love each other, and I think it's time that I... We finally move on and go our separate ways. I think it's finally time to let all of this go. What do you say?" We stared at the headstone, and the world sat in perfect silence. We probably looked crazy, expecting some kind of paranormal response or something. After a few eerily peaceful moments of quiet, a breeze tickled my neck, and I swear to God almighty, that I heard the spring wind whisper, "Yesss..." Reggie and I looked at each other. He wiped the tears off my face as a satisfying peace blew over me. I'll never forget you Adam.

Reggie and I smiled at each other, and we kissed as we realized that we could finally be together, and our love would mingle without boundaries. The overgrown willow tree drooped and touched my neck, as if it were to get my attention. I looked around me, and a strange wind began picking up. Was this Adam again? I didn't understand. Leaves began falling in strange patterns, patterns that roughly resembled a line. I was baffled. What was he trying to tell me? It looked like the leaves were pointing me somewhere... Adam was leading me! "Reggie we have to go!" I exclaimed and he looked at me as if I were a dancing ladybug. "Follow these leaves!"

We jogged over the long patterns of leaves, and they eventually led us to the cemetery pond. The wind stopped abruptly, and so did the leaves. I was extremely confused, why did Adam lead us into a dead end? Reggie and I looked around us to see what Adam might've been saying, but all I saw was one of the cemetery custodians. Maybe I was just being crazy... I really needed a drink. We walked over to the custodian to ask him where we could find the nearest bar. As we neared him, my heart tightened in my chest and I gripped Reggie's hand harder than I ever had before.

"Dad?"

*****

Chapter 2 will be coming out soon! Suggestions, comments, and criticism is welcome... Please make sure to stay in tune, have a great day.:)