Leviticus is a Fuck

The recent expanse of homophobia, as seen in the recent U.S. attempt to put a ban on gay marriages in the Constitution, as all anti-sexual movements deeply rooted in the holy scriptures, most importantly the bible. Let us assume for the purposes of this essay that the bible is the supreme word of God, none of the “prophets” were drug addicts, and though rhetoric may seem to indicate otherwise at times, that the apostles or translators never erred in transcription. Taking all that for granted, the ban against homosexuality isn’t as extensive as one might think. Here’s a debunking of the biblical passages that are used to argue “God’s hatred of gays and lesbians.”

Argument 1: “Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.” (Romans 1.26)

This example is written in a long bit about all these reasons that God hates mankind. (The trite comment about how the idea that God loves us all pales in this late shall be skipped for a more direct approach.) Included in this list of wickedness that we will all be held accountable for is “disobey(ing) their parents” as well as being “gossips” and being “arrogant and boastful” (Romans 1.29-30). Seeing as how homosexual acts are as sinful in gods eyes as not eating one’s Brussels Sprouts or boasting about the size of your…new boat, one must wonder at the “holiness” of this homophobia.

In fact, the section immediately following this “all ye sinners” list is a direct demand for leniency. “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things” (Romans 2.1). “So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?” (Romans 2.3) Biblically speaking, I rest my case for this argument.

Argument 2: (The most famous argument) God made Eve from Adam and “ for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2.24).

For this line millions of placards saying “Adam and Eve; not Adam and Steve” parade every single event that has ever been remotely connected to the gay and lesbian way of life. The stupidity of the argument is in the details of the wording. The times that this was written in one lived with one’s parents until they were married with someone else, usually in an arranged marriage.

If thus, we are to base all our love affairs and marriages on this biblical ideal, then a man should live with his parents until he is wed and he should refrain from sex until he is united in marriage to his wife. Considering the personalities and histories of the MEN who use this argument, they are in as much of a violation of this strict adherence to God’s original creation as the “deviant homosexuals”. Still, not even taking this “stricter than thou” approach, the argument is a stupid one. Should we never change in our growth as a species? Should all of our lovers be created out of a piece of our bodies first?

Also, look at the success rating of this “glorified first couple,” one of their sons killed their other son over a sheep and they themselves were thrown out of Paradise by the Lord. Shouldn’t one’s “ideal couple” not be one that directly earned the ire of their Lord?

Argument 3: (This is the most quoted anti-homosexuality passage) “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is an abomination” (Lev. 18.22) and the punishment: “They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads” (Lev. 20.13).

Whoa, heavy shit one would say. It is also the most ludicrous argument for multiple reasons. First of all is the “is this blunt enough?” argument. Do not lie with a man as one lies with woman. If a gay man does not lay with women, does this still apply? Also, considering that anal sex with a woman is also taboo, how can man actually have vaginal sex with another man? These blunt and admitably weak arguments aside there is the more pressing matter of what is also decreed unholy and “against the orders of the Lord” in this particular passage.

First of all “bodily discharges” aka semen, unless a man does some fancy rituals: “Whoever touches the man who has a discharge must wash his clothes and bathe in water, and he will be unclean till evening” as well as anyone who touches a bed that a woman with a period has sat on in the last seven days (Lev. 15.all). Also red meat is out, “Do not eat any meat with the blood in it” (Lev. 19.26) as is shaving sideburns “Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard” (Lev. 19.27). Priests who get haircuts or shave are also taboo, “Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards” (Lev. 21.5). People who do anything on Sundays are also risking God’s wrath, “the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a Sabbath to the Lord” (Lev. 23.3). There are many more examples polluting the work of Leviticus, but I tire of reporting them.

If you thought the punishment for homosexuality was harsh, the punishment for these acts is: “I will bring upon you a sudden terror, wasting diseases and fever that will destroy your sight and drain away your life” (Lev. 26.14). Harsh. Though one can make the argument that since homosexuality was directly linked to being put to death that must make it worse than the rest, but there are other “punishment of death” crimes that are committed more frequently by the straights. “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death” (Lev. 20.10). “If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death” (Lev. 20.9). That’s right every single upset 6 year-old of the last couple of millennia should have been dragged into the street and stoned next to the homosexual pair.

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I believe that wraps it up for the biblical debunking of the biblical claims against homosexuality and now for the obvious and in my opinion greatest argument against the biblical arguments against homosexuality: “Why the hell are we using a religion’s views to dictate how those who don’t subscribe to the religion live their lives in a country that supposedly has ‘freedom of religion?’”