Lexi and I

"I was also young and carefree like you," she continued. "I had my fair share of experiences, good and bad. Would you be shocked if I said that if I were you I wouldn't let a good opportunity slip away?" she nodded in Lexi's direction.

"I'm not shocked, not anymore," I added. "You do know she's a girl?"

"I'm not blind," snapped the lady. "She's a girl, so what? Like that should make a difference. These days it's all the rage to like that sort of thing isn't it? I know what you're thinking."

"You do?" I asked, feeling the conversation becoming weirder by the second.

"Certainly," said the lady confidently. "You're thinking: What does an old lady know about young people or anything fashionable? Close?"

"Well…yes actually."

"I don't blame you really," the lady replied with a deep sigh. "I am old now. But when I was younger…well I don't need to draw you a picture do I?"

I was surprised by this revelation. "Really?" I asked. "With another…"

She nodded. "Yes. We were in love. It could have been lust just as easily but I prefer to remember it now as love. We were in our twenties, both married to RAF pilots and spent a lot of time on our own. Well I'll let you fill in the blanks dear."

"Wow," was all I could say.

"Yes indeed," she replied. "So here we are. You lusting after that pretty thing over there and all I can see is a sad face over here."

"It's…complicated."

"Ah, first time?" the lady said.

"Not exactly, well not for me anyway," I said still amazed at the conversation I was having with an elderly stranger. "Are we even talking about the same thing here?"

The lady nodded and said nothing. Thunder crackled overheard again.

"I'm…well I have done…that before. I'm just not sure about this…about her."

"Lover trouble," the lady said as she rummaged inside her shopping bag. I was shocked again at how insightful this elderly lady was. "A tangle of lies and deceit. No easy answer."

"There is," I said suddenly feeling like I need to defend myself. "We're not together now, not us two I mean," I said acknowledging Lexi. "My…um, friend and I aren't together anymore. That seems simple enough to me."

"It does, doesn't it?" replied the lady. "So why the anguish?"

I thought about that. Why was I agonising over something so simple. Karen and I were not together. We were over. The fight a few weeks ago had proved it. So what was my problem? I shook my head in confusion.

"I don't know," I said after a moment.

"Take this," the lady said. She handed me a flyer. "Someone pushed this at me in the Mall earlier, might be what you're looking for."

I examined the flyer. - Party In The Park July 2005. Top Bands. Fireworks. – All Weekend Event. Campsite Located Jesus Green – Main Stage Midsummer Common… I smiled and glanced at the lady. She was gone. I looked all around but she had disappeared. In the distance I caught site of her pale blue anorak as she turned around a corner into Market Street. I stared back at the flyer.

I had barely enough time to think before Lexi was stood next to me with a large smile on her face and plastic bag in her hand.

"Gifts," she said proudly. "For my family."

I looked passed her and noticed the rain has eased off, people were leaving their shelters. I looked down from Lexi's beautiful face to her chest and then tore my eyes further down to the flyer in my hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," I said with a smile. "Come on, let's get going."

"Where?" Lexi asked as I grabbed her hand and led her through the market.

"You'll see!" I giggled.

Through the maze of streets and streams of people I led Lexi, looking for the right shop. I knew I had seen it somewhere, but where? I stopped and took my bearings then tugged on Lexi's hand again and took off down a side street.

"What's White Mountain?" Lexi asked, clearly puzzled.

"A good idea," I said and pulled her inside.

It didn't take too long to find what I was looking for, although Lexi looked more and more baffled by the second. I paced around the shop grabbing items I needed, then before Lexi could say anything I had paid and we were back on the street.

"What gives Haley?" she asked. "You've just bought a load of camping gear!"

I handed Lexi the flyer the old lady had given me. I waited patiently while Lexi read through it. She looked at me with a mixture of expressions fighting for leading position on her face.

"It'll be fun," I said, suddenly wondering if I had just made a huge mistake. "They have one every year, it's supposed to be pretty cool."

"We're going camping?" she asked.

"Yes!"

For a moment Lexi said nothing. I couldn't force her into it. If she really did have a hotel booked then my plan was looking very foolish. If she didn't, as I suspected, then I hoped she would be up for a good evening of music and excitement. Whatever my feelings for Lexi were I hoped they would be returned, and if they weren't then at least we would have a good time anyway.

"Wow," Lexi said without the passion I had.

"You don't want to?" I asked. "It's okay if you don't…I just thought…"

Lexi took my hand in hers. "I'd love to share a tent with you." Her smile broke across her face and she laughed.

I felt a swarm of relief wash through me. I sighed and gripped her hand.

"So what are we waiting for?" she asked. "Let's go already! I need to get my bag!"

-------------------

Jesus Green looked like tent city by the time we arrived. The grass was shining from the rain and the evening sun filtered through trees around us. We could hear the music filtering through the trees from Midsummer Common as we search for a spot to put up the tent. We found an isolated spot away from the main tent crowd. Lexi pointed down a slight slope to a hidden space between a copse of Weeping Willows.

It was perfect. Secluded but not too much to feel alone and vulnerable. A path led along the river the other side of a fence although we didn't spot anyone taking an evening stroll as we assembled the tent. It was an ideal spot.

I pulled out my mobile phone. I had better put in a call to my mother and let her know where I was and that I was with friends. She seemed a bit annoyed at not having been told earlier but she was cool about it, told me to safe and all that.

In a matter of minutes we were laying inside our tent. I'd purposely bought one of those easy to build dome tents with room for 3 people. Lexi loaned me a change of dry clothes and quickly dressed, I tried to keep my eyes from wondering but I caught glimpses of her tanned body. We unrolled sleeping bags and pillows, unzipped the front flap of the tent and lay starting at the high grass that surrounded us.

"This is fantastic Haley," Lexi said. She turned to look at me. "You're full of surprises!"

All of a sudden she leaned over and kissed me on the lips. For a second I tasted her but it was over before it started.

"Sorry," she said quietly looking away.

I was silent for a moment. Then I reached up and turned her face toward mine. "Don't apologise, please," I said and placed my lips against hers.

This time our kiss lasted longer. My heart was pounding in my chest as our soft lips slid against one another. The scent of her perfume still lingered on her skin despite the rain.

We parted and started into each others eyes.

"I've wanted to do that since we met," I said. "But I wasn't sure…"

"Do you remember my emails," Lexi asked me. "What I said in them?"

I nodded. I was excited and nervous at the same time. It was like my first time with Karen all over again. "I remember."

"I still want to," Lexi said. "You know what I mean?"

"I do too," I said. My voice was barely a whisper. "But…"

"I know. Karen."

"No," I said quickly. "Well yes and no. I need to tell you about it."

"You don't have to," Lexi said. "I want to be with you Haley, so bad it hurts. But I don't want you upset. I want to be friends always and I hope neither of us would do anything to jeopardise that."

"I won't," I said confidently. "I need to be honest with you, it's only fair isn't it?"

"Then if you want to tell me about it, you can," Lexi said.

"I will, I promise."

"May I…?" Lexi leaned toward me.

I didn't have to answer. Our lips met again, this time our mouths parted, our tongues playing gently, exploring slowly. I could feel my heart racing. I was becoming more and more aroused each second. I felt her hand on my side, sliding up toward my arm.

She pulled me close to her. I felt the weight of her breasts press against mine. The closeness of our bodies was simply heavenly. All that has happened to me in the last 18months this had to rate as one of the most perfect moments.

When we parted it felt like I was being dragged awake from a great dream I didn't want to end. We shared a smile and then I suggested we at least check out the music and find something to eat.

The stage was huge. There was already a large crowd jumping up and down as The Black Eyed Peas got the crowd cheering loudly. We strolled over to the bar in the pavilion, ordered a pitcher of lager and chatted to a few people on the table next to ours.

We danced to The Darkness, Bootleg Beatles and made a circuit of the side shows and attractions around the perimeter. One pavilion had a long bar, lots of people and a DJ mixing dance music. It was dark, strobe lights hung from the pavilion vaulted ceiling. We knocked back a few drinks at the bar then took a seat on a couple of hay bales around the edge of the dance floor.

In the darkness I searched for Lexi's hand and held it gently. She gave me a gentle squeeze back. On our way out of the pavilion some time later we ended up in a throng of happy people heading in the same direction, the last act of the night was on the main stage. Lexi was pressed up against me, her breasts pushing against mine, she grinned at me. I leaned toward her, slipping my arm around her waist allowing my lips to find hers.

In the flashing lights we kissed. I felt her hands travel down my back to my bottom where they gently cupped each cheek. I slid my tongue into her mouth and moaned, she didn't hear it over the noise but I felt the hum of her mouth when she moaned back a second later. I had my hands on her bottom.

It was almost 1am when we strolled back through tent city. People were sat around chatting and laughing with one another. Lights twinkled around us, the smells of burgers sizzling hung in the air. My thoughts were focussed on Lexi, on the kisses we had shared, on the feel of her body against mine.

No one had disturbed our sanctuary and we collapsed on the grass just outside the tent. It was dark but the glow from the festival was enough to see by, just. I passed Lexi a Bicardi Breezer and decided it was time to tell her about Karen.

"We split up," I said suddenly. "Karen and me."

"I thought it was just…"

"No. We had a few fights, no one's fault really," I said. "I didn't want things to end, neither did she. Difference of opinion on too many things."

"Haley I'm sorry," Lexi said with true concern. "But reading your dairies online, you always seemed so in love."

"We were," I said quietly. "I thought we were."

Lexi shuffled over and hugged me tight.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I think so," I replied. "I don't know why but I always knew it wouldn't last forever. Maybe it was my fault for thinking like that."

"You shouldn't think like that," Lexi said. "Won't do you any good."

"I know." I sipped my drink. "I'm not as upset as I was but it still hurts."

"Do you think it's worse because she was a girl?" Lexi asked. "That you had opened yourself up to something new?"

"Maybe…probably. I don't really know."

"Would you see her again?" Lexi asked.

"I don't know. I don't think I could go back and be with someone who had given me so much happiness and then so much pain."

"So what's next"

"No idea," I said shaking my head. Was she talking about relationships here or our current situation? God, why did I always confuse things with so much thinking? "Even if I do meet someone new I wouldn't know if it's because I'm the rebound from Karen or if I genuinely like them."

"Are you on the rebound?" Lexi asked. "It's just that…you know…" she pointed at the tent. I understood her meaning.

"You're different," I said. "I've known you for months now, if you get my meaning. I'm not about to go jumping into bed with you because I'm starved of sex after not being with Karen."

"You put it so well," Lexi said sounding a little annoyed. "I'm so glad you don't want to jump into bed with me. That makes me feel wanted in a big way."

"Sorry, Lexi. I'm not making much sense am I?" I said to her. "I didn't want you to think that I had agreed to meet you this weekend because I needed to sleep with you, with anyone. I didn't want you thinking I was just using you. Especially since I never really told you much in my emails."

"I do ask too many questions," Lexi said. "Sorry. I know what you meant. It felt like something was bothering you which is why I kept asking you."

"I know. It's okay, really," I said and patted her leg. "We're friends."

"Friends?"

"Well…it can be more but…" Oh crap. Where was this going? I'd started something I couldn't finish. Lexi was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to give her straight answer. "I meant that if you wanted to…well go further…or do something more…er…"

"I'm glad you're not upset with me, Haley," Lexi said covering up my embarrassed rambling. "I was so worried. You're last few emails were odd, I had a feeling something was wrong."

"Sorry about that," I said. "I didn't know how to tell you or even admit it to myself enough to talk about it. And I haven't been keeping up to date with my emails."

Lexi laughed quietly. "Me neither. I think about you so much. I hated it when we didn't talk for so long. I missed your emails."

"Missed yours too, my fault, sorry."

Lexi slapped my leg. "Don't apologise!"

"Sorry…oh…"

We both burst out laughing. I wasn't feeling sad, just reliving old memories especially bad ones wasn't easy.

"You know, I always thought about you every night," Lexi told me. "Just before I went to sleep. Of course I'm usually caressing my body when I'm thinking about you…my turn to apologise now, sorry. I just want to be honest, that's okay isn't it?"

"It's a good policy," I said. "And since we are being honest I want to say that I've done similar things. Usually sat in front of computer writing an email to you, wondering what you look like and what you would be wearing when you read it. And reading your emails…you always find the right words to excite me. My hands wonder too."

"I love knowing that I turned you on," Lexi said. Her wide eyes shone in the murkey light. "And that you liked what I wrote. I'm so glad that you don't mind me writing about what I do when I read and think about you and….and I…"

"Please don't be shy, Lexi," I said. "We can be open with each other."

"I loved telling you about how I was touching myself, how I pleasured myself with my fingers," she said quickly. "And wishing it was you touching me."

I smiled. "Is that what you want?" I asked her.

She looked at me as if I had asked to work out some ground breaking new mathematical formula. I stared back. I wondered how I would react to her naked body, how it would feel to see her undress before me. I had thought of what it would be like to touch her skin, to feel it under my finger tips as I explored every inch.

Lexi stared at me and bit her lip. She looked uncomfortable and not sure of how to word her answer.

I stood abruptly and headed inside the tent where I picked up a low voltage night light. I hung it on the X section at the top of the dome so it hung down a little. It wasn't enough light to cast shadows or show anyone outside a bightly lit puppet show, even it's name MoonLite Torch said it all.

I laid on my right side and gestured for Lexi to join me. She shuffled inside and wriggled until she was comfortable, propped up on her elbow facing me. The faint glow of the MoonLite captured her expression of anxious energy and uneasiness at the situation.

"Yes," she said quietly. "I want that. I want you to touch me, to touch my body." She looked nervous now even though her eyes shone with excited anticipation. "You'd be my…it would be first time with another girl."

"I've only been with one," I told her. "The first time was nerve wracking. I was worried about what it meant to me, I panicked about my feelings and…

"I'm so glad we share our thoughts!" laughed Lexi.

"AND I enjoyed it at the same time!" I finished. I closed the few inch gap between us and kissed her quickly, feeling her warm lips touch against mine before pulling away just as fast.

"Huh!" Lexi said with fake pout. "That's not very nice." I chuckled and looked into her eyes. Something hit the side of the tent and we glanced out through the tents entrance into the darkness. It was starting to rain again, not as heavy as before, only a light shower. We listened to the sound of water splash against the leaves of the trees above us, dropping onto the ground around us and the tent.

"So what do we do now?" Lexi asked me and shook her head as soon as the words had left her mouth. "Sorry. I ask too many questions. It's a habit."

"But a nice one," I said. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to be with you, Haley," she stated.

"Will you undress for me?" I asked her. "I want to see you."

Lexi nodded. "Yes," she said quietly.

She moved and sat on her knees. Keeping her eyes fixed on me, her hands slowly moved to shrug off her Adidas fleece. She bent forward and pulled her t-shirt up over her head, avoiding hitting the MoonLite above her.

She dropped the t-shirt and smiled nervously as my eyes wondered over her body. Her large smooth breasts were held in place by a white lace bra. Lexi tugged her skirt down behind her, sat on her bottom and pulled it down her legs, dropping it to one side.


I stared in wonder as she returned to her kneeling position, legs slightly apart. Her lacy thong matched her bra and the stark white accentuated her tanned skin. Her light brown, blonde streaked hair fell around her shoulders, brushing gently against her skin as she moved.

"Shall I?" she asked, her hands reaching behind her back.

"Please," I said. "Take it off. Let me see you."

She unclipped her bra. I watched her chest rise and fall as her breathing became deep and laboured, her passion seeming to rise steadily as she undressed for me. It was clear she was nervous and excited. Her breasts fell forward with a slight bob and bounce as she pulled her bra clear. She smoothed her hands quickly down over her breasts.

My gaze shifted and travelled down her body, noticing the bikini tan lines. Her breasts were bigger than mine by a considerable amount, tipped with dusky pink areolas and dark pink nipples which were becoming erect. I guessed it was partly due to her excitement and due to the breeze coming in through the open tent.

I was so close to moving toward her and letting my hands wander all over her body and my lips seek out hers. It's silly to say but it felt as if her breasts were calling to me begging them to be adored and caressed.

"More?" she asked me. Her fingers rested on the waistband of her knickers.

I shook my head slowly. "Do you want me to join you?"

Lexi nodded. "Yes," she said. Then more urgently: "Yes please. Show me your body, I want to see you."

I shifted into position, kneeling in front of Lexi. I copied her actions, removing the FCUK vest top she had loaned me and chucking it aside. I didn't want to appear wanton in any way as if I was uncaring of her feelings over it being her first time, and all I wanted to do was have sex. I was nervous too, questions in my head wouldn't leave me alone. Were we doing the right thing? What would it seem like tomorrow or next week when she's returned home? Was I prepared to go through with it? Was she?