Library Privileges

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"Yes, so I've discovered."

"Patty, do you read a lot?"

"I do. I read fairly fast so unless I make myself slow down I can go through a book in a day easily. When I read what you write I slow down."

"Why?"

"I'm sot sure. It's like, I want to feel the words on my tongue and taste what you are saying." As sure as her smile could melt his heart her words scrambled his good judgment. He put her hand to his lips and kissed it and simply said, "Thank you. I'm glad you like to read my stories." He paused then before saying, "Patty ...um..., how can I ask this without embarrassing myself or you?"

She smiled and said, "Just say it and we'll see where it takes us."

He studied her hand as he held it and tried in vain to control his thoughts. I know you work full time and I know that you spend an evening here a week, so I know that you're pretty busy. I...what I'm trying to say is, I take it you don't have a significant other."

"That's right." Her smile was slowly returning and that emboldened him.

"Doesn't...I mean..., when you read some of my stories don't they..."

Her smile softened again and she asked, "Are you trying to ask me if some of your stories excite me?"

He let out his breath and said, "Yes."

"As a matter of fact some of them do, and a couple of them a whole lot. Ross, would it help if I told you a little about my... about me?"

"If you're willing, I'd very much like to know more about you." She leaned back then, but their hands stayed joined and her shoulder ended up against his side.

"I got married when I was just turning twenty. I dropped out of college because I was in love and all I wanted to do was be a good wife. For a few years we had a good marriage. Then one day..., I better back up and tell you the rest. I just hope I don't make you too uncomfortable. Pete and I had a very active sex life. I'll spare you the details, but...I mean, really active. Anyway, one day I came home from work and found a note from him saying he had left me. Just like that and he was gone. No warning, no reason, nothing. To this day, I have no idea why he left, but he left me pretty damn poor too. I've been on a multi year man hating marathon ever since that day. I think I'm getting my life back together again, so I guess my man hating days are ending. Otherwise, your stories wouldn't affect me like they do. I can be more graphic if that's what you want, but that pretty much sums up my story."

"Patty, I don't know what to say and I don't know what I expected, but if I had all the time in the world I wouldn't have come up with that story. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. You are a wonderful and very attractive woman, full of life, and I have no doubt full of love, to share with the right person and at the right time. I wish I could do something to erase all of your bad memories."

"Thank you, but I'm doing okay now. Perhaps having those bad memories help me to appreciate better times that become good memories. Times like right now." She caught herself and quickly sat up straight and retrieved her hand. As she tried to get her motions under control she took a deep breath and

said, "So in summary, I can read any of your stories."

He didn't move but tried to act casual and said, "You can read anything you want as long as you are gentle with your criticism s and generous with your praise. She softened again slightly, kissed his hand and then got up.

"I'll do my best boss, but if I don't get to the laundry, I'll be here until midnight."

Chapter Four

Lois was home by ten and she asked Ross, "So is everything okay between you and Patty?"

"Everything is fine. I realized I was being a jerk, so after she apologized to me, I apologized to her for acting as I did."

"You are such a softie. She could steal your car and you would forgive her."

He just smiled and said, "Maybe so."

"Well, I'm glad you two kissed and made up."

"We made up, but we skipped the kiss part."

"Oh, I wanted to ask you if you would mind if I ran way for a weekend."

"No, of course not, where to?"

"We're talking about making some changes in our club and modeling ourselves after a cancer support group in Lansing. We've been invited to their Saturday meeting, and then spend the rest of the weekend over there."

"You're really getting into this club thing, when is this event?"

"A week from Saturday. Oh, and I have to go to Grand Rapids Monday for our annual training session and systems upgrade training."

"Until Friday like the last time?"

"I'm afraid so."

"You have some busy times ahead it seems. Off to Grand Rapids Monday, home Friday night, and then off again to Lansing Saturday."

"Yes, and all of that will help keep my mind off of winter. You can sit around in your underwear as much as you want."

"Except Tuesday."

Lois laughed and said, "Yes, except Tuesday night."

"I can't say I'm overjoyed that I won't see you for a week."

"I know and I'm sorry those two things came up at the same time."

"Okay." What else could he say?

The next few days were pretty routine for Ross and Lois. She was on the phone a lot making reservations for her trip to Lansing with Alma, and lining up entertainment for them for the evenings, and then talking with the other club members. It was an exciting time for their small group. Then at the end of the week, she was packing for most of a week in Grand Rapids. In the meantime Ross was making plans to finish at least one of his short stories that he had been working on for months. He was also planning on spending as much time as he could in his underwear just like he used to. Why he ever got away from that habit, he wasn't sure but now he felt funny doing that when Lois was around. The fact that he felt funny in his underwear around his own wife bothered him. How and when did that all come about? They still loved each other and they seemed to enjoy being together. All he could do was shrug it off and think about happier subjects like his stories.

Monday morning Ross saw Alma and Lois off to Grand Rapids, and then he went to work as usual. Monday evening was his first evening of lounging in his skivvies and writing as he ate dinner in his office. All of that reminded him of his bachelor days. He never wanted to go back to being a bachelor again, but it was fun remembering some of the good times he had back there. With the good times thing still his mind, he stopped and remembered Patty's reference to good times and her comment about like she was having with him right then. He could close his eyes and see her sitting there and he realized just how close he came to making a grievous error by kissing her. He knew that she had experienced some control problems as well, but at least both of them were aware of it and did what they had to do to behave themselves. A comfortable sofa, a pretty woman, and throw in a little talk of her very active sex life and he was in over his head very quickly.

He had been home an hour on Tuesday evening when Patty arrived and came in saying, "Wow, is it getting nasty out there."

"It was starting when I came in." He glanced out through the window and said, "Oh shit, freezing rain now. It was just snowing when I came in."

"They're calling for some really nasty stuff I guess."

"Then you're crazy, you should have stayed home."

"I only live about a mile and a half from here."

"You can wreck your car at the end of the driveway with freezing rain."

"Yeah I know, I'm sort of parked with my front wheels in your yard in fact.

Ross just smiled and shook his head. "Had dinner yet?"

"Sort of yes and sort of no."

"What kind of answer was that?"

"I grabbed a sandwich on my way out because I wanted to get here before it got too bad."

"What about getting home?"

"If it gets too bad to drive, I can walk home."

"Patty, if it's too bad to drive, you'll break your ass trying to walk home." She just smiled at him. He was worrying about her again and she liked that. "Why don't you join me for dinner then?"

She just smiled and said, "Thank you, I accept."

"It will be about fifteen minutes."

"I'll start a load of laundry and be back to set the table then." She went about her tasks and he dished up the food as she set the table. Then she watched as he pulled out two wine glasses and a bottle of red table wine and pulled the cork.

He noticed her looking at him so he said, "I wanted to have a glass of wine so you might as well have some so I don't pour half of it down the drain. You do like wine I hope."

"As it so happens I do like wine, or at least some of it."

"Well, if you don't like this one, just dump it and you won't hurt my feelings." The wine must have tasted good to her because she had a second glass right along with him. Dinner was over and they were lingering over the last of the wine when Lois called.

"Ross, I just heard about your weather, you okay?"

"Yes, we're fine. Warm and dry, why?"

"They're talking about tree limbs down and a lot of people without power. You said we, Patty didn't come did she?"

"Yes she did, as a matter of fact."

"Don't let her go home, God, I can't believe she tried that."

"It got worse after she got here I'm afraid."

"Well, keep her there and tell her to use the guest room. She can borrow one of my nighties and a robe." Ross could feel his pulse jumping in his neck as he sat there looking at Patty sip her wine and smile at him.

"Lois, I haven't heard the weather. Do you really thing it's that bad?"

I just talked to Elizabeth and she's no more than five miles or so from our house and she says it's really awful."

"Okay, I'll do as you suggest." At least that way she would know it wasn't his idea if life came crashing down on them later.

"I hope you don't lose power."

"That reminds me I better find the flashlights and candles."

"I'll hang up so you can go do that...bye."

Ross hung up the phone, tipped his glass back and then said, "It looks like you're going to be my guest tonight."

"What?" He explained about the trees and limbs down, power outages and predictions for worsening conditions and then said, "Lois said to use one of her nighties and a robe, and whatever else you need and put you up in the guest room."

"Oh Ross, don't you think that's overreacting just a little?"

"I'm only going by what I'm told, but I have to say you'd be well beyond crazy to try to get home. You'll just end up being one of the crazy casualties they talk about on the eleven o'clock news."

"I'm sorry to put you out like this."

"You're not putting me out at all. In fact, I like the idea."

She studied him almost nervously and asked him, "Why?"

"You said yourself that reading in that easy chair is very comfortable, we have a large supply of reading material and I like you very much and enjoy your company."

She smiled and admitted, "I like yours too."

"If the power goes out and we can't read, we'll just sit on the couch and tell each other stories."

Chapter Five

When Patty had set the table, she had put out two glasses of ice water that neither of them had touched. As they cleared the table together she gathered the dishes, but put those glasses aside and waited for just the right moment. Ross provided what she was waiting for when he leaned over the sink to reach for a stray cup. She tipped one of those glasses of ice water over his back as his shirt was stretched against his skin. He straightened up quickly and looked at her in disbelief as she backed away from him with a guilty smile. "Oh Patty, you will pay for that." He moved around so she was backing away from him but toward the corner and he picked up the other glass of ice water and advanced on her.

She was almost laughing as her hands came up and she said, "No, please...I'm sorry Ross, I'm sorry," but her smile was telling him a different story. He couldn't help but smile back and soon had her trapped, and put his right arm around her and pulled her close as she looked up at him.

"Now you will pay the penalty." As he brought the glass nearer to her, he bent down and kissed her. She was only giving token resistance as the kiss continued and then the water started to cascade down her front. She started to scream into his mouth, but it soon melted into a moan as her arms went around him and he pulled her into him and their emotions boiled over. Ross had her encased in his arms now and the kiss continued uninterrupted and his tongue probed deeply into her mouth. The kiss lasted a minute or an evening. Time was of no importance to either of them. He barely managed to put the glass on the counter so is left hand could go to her back and hold her even more tightly against him. Passion was in the air and if they didn't stop what they were doing very soon, it was going to be too late. In fact, it may have already been too late for them.

Patty suddenly pushed against him just enough that she could look up at him as she tried to catch her breath and get her eyes to focus on her almost lover. She couldn't talk or even connect words in her mind right then.

Ross was doing no better and kept both of his arms around her and felt her warmth of her back on his hands.

Patty finally manage to connect two words and in a panting whisper said, "Oh Ross," and with her hands on his chest she could feel it move in and out with his rapid breathing as his body prepared itself for making love to her. It was like they wanted to see if they were under control or if they were just tempting fate just one more time. Their lips came together in only a slightly less intense kiss that enveloped them once again. Their hands explored each other's back and sides, but their lips and tongues were dedicated to their mission. When at last Patty could speak she whispered, "What have we just done?"

"Patty, I don't know beyond the fact that you have just given me two of the most intense and wonderful kisses I have ever experienced." They couldn't stop looking into each other's eyes. Their hands continued the slow motion caresses and they held each other close and soaked in the warmth between their bodies.

"Ross I think we better take a deep breath and think about what we just did."

"I'll take that deep breath and I can guarantee you I will think about what we just did for a long time to come."

"I'm sorry Ross."

"For letting me kiss you?"

"For starting it."

"Patty you didn't start it. I started it weeks ago. At least in my mind I did and I know I flirted with you. I started it not long ago when we sat next to each other on the couch and talked as I held your hand and kissed it. I add to it every time I stare at your pretty legs. If you started it you must have done so right after you came to the house the first time." They were still standing close to each other, but her hands had moved out to rest on his forearms as his hands rested on her hips.

"We both know I was flirting with you too, Ross. I tried to behave, and when that didn't work, I tried to at least be discreet. Then tonight, I even failed at that when I poured water on you. I knew you would come after me."

"And I was just looking for an excuse to take you in my arms. Had that excuse not presented itself, I would have taken you in my arms anyway."

"What are we going to do now?"

"I know what I want us to do now."

"But we can't. You must know that I want to but we can't."

"I'm trying to convince myself of that as we stand here. I want to scoop you up in my arms and carry you to bed. I want to undress you and taste you. I want to watch your breasts rise up to meet my hands as I tease you. I want to take your clothes off and feel your nakedness press against me."

She pressed a finger against his lips and said, "Shhh," Ross, please, you're driving me crazy. Don't you know I've lain in bed and imagined all of those things and more?" Ross didn't want to let her go. He didn't want to accept the fact that they couldn't make love. But his hands finally slipped from her hips and he kissed her lightly.

"Patty, I want you to know that what I feel for you isn't just about sex. I also just like to be near you, to look at you, and talk to you." She kissed him once more and stepped farther away.

"Ross honey, I have to keep some distance between us. Why don't you go to your office and write, and I'll read a book."

"I'll try, but my mind won't be on it."

"Write about us. Put us in a story." She watched him retreat to his office and she wandered around before going to the laundry room and moving the load to the dryer. She just didn't care enough to start another load. She could do that later or in the morning or whatever. She had to bury herself in a book and escape for just a little bit. Her escape lasted all of about half an hour before she moved to his office and sat down. He looked at her and smiled and as she smiled back she said, "I had to keep a distance between us, but that was too much." Ross stayed at his computer, but every time she looked over at him he was sitting there staring at the monitor. She finally went over to him and kissed him before saying, "You haven't done anything, but sit there so you might as well sit someplace more comfortable."

"I'm okay."

"Can I get you anything?"

"I don't think so, can I get you something?"

"A kiss." He smiled and went over to her immediately and they shared a long and tender kiss. "Ross, no matter what happens in the future, I will never forget tonight and I will never look at life the same way again."

He knelt close to her and looked at her as he said, "I feel the same way. No, I already know that my future is going to be different now. I know some changes must be made in the way I live now."

"Just be careful, honey. Make sure that your decisions are good solid ones and you have considered the possible outcomes."

I know. I'm not going to do something crazy I promise." Ross resumed his post in front of his monitor and even typed a few lines but he didn't get much done and Patty didn't get much reading done.

They managed to while away the time until she finally said, "Ross would you get me something to sleep in?"

"Of course, and a robe?"

"I don't need a robe, but thanks."

Ross soon reappeared with three choices and she selected the lightest weight one. Ross looked a her and said, "I'm willing to bet that were you home you would be sleeping in the nude."

She smiled and asked him, "What made you say that?"

"Tell me I'm wrong?"

"I can't. Can I have a goodnight kiss?"

"I could come in and tuck you in and kiss you good night."

"If you got near me in that bedroom you might not make it out before tomorrow sometime so kiss me now, okay?" He kissed her and it was almost enough to take them back to the same crisis they faced in the kitchen.

"Ross, I..., good night."

Chapter Six

Ross finally went to bed, but tossed and turned and slept fitfully for four or five hours and then sat up in bed. As he sat there in the darkness unable to focus on anything he ran his fingers through his hair and sat on the side of the bed. He could still feel her kisses and how she held him close. How her hands would slip up his back almost to his shoulders and caress him. He didn't know what to do. This problem was his creation and now he didn't know what to do about it. He wandered into the bathroom for a drink of water and then back to bed again. He wanted to go to sleep as much to escape from his problem as to rest. He lay back down and sleep finally did come and save him from his thoughts.

By seven in the morning, he was sitting at the kitchen table and hugging his first cup of coffee. She didn't intend to sneak up behind him as she slipped silently into the kitchen, but his mind was so far away. It was easy for her to do just that before she bent down and kissed his unshaved cheek. Her kiss blended into his thoughts perfectly so rather than be startled he looked up at her and said, "Good morning, how did you sleep?"