tagHumor & SatireLicking The Ice Cream Man

Licking The Ice Cream Man


Buxom Blonde Public Servant Hilda Humper stars in: "Licking The Neighborhood Ice Cream Man"

Hilda Humper had always been a civic-minded woman. She cared much about others and about her community as well. Hilda's caring spirit showed in her personality and behavior. Her ebullience and good- hearted nature were evident in all of her numerous efforts. In a word, Hilda was a giving woman. It was in this very moment that the true extent of her selfless giving really showed. The 38-year-old buxom blonde knelt to do her work.

"Ohhhhhhh, yeah," Hilda purred as she worked at her latest civic project. "Let's get these old hot and icky pants off so momma can play with her favorite big boy's pee wee. Oooooooo, yeah. My poopsie woopsie's pretty pee pee tinkle toy needs mommy to pet him and rub him and stroke him and suck him and love him. Is baby's wee wee ding- a-ling getting longer and harder for his boobie mommy, hmmmmmmm?"

"Sure is, Miss Humper," the neighborhood ice cream man Larry Fallus replied with a hearty, reassuring grin. "You've almost got my big man free down there. Just take the pants all the way down and you can just pull it right out of my briefs in a flash."

He would have helped her, but Larry knew that Hilda always liked to take his penis out for herself.

"These pants of yours are a little cumbersome," Hilda said with a grunt as she struggled with his zipper that seemed to be a bit stuck. "Fuck a duck! Don't you jam with me, you fucking zipper. You're just trying to keep Hildy from getting to Mr. Wee Wee. You'll never stop me from sucking my big boy's pee wee, no matter how hard you try."

Even as Hilda struggled with his zipper, she rubbed the bulge of the ice cream man's wee wee through his pants until his crotch looked like a tent, her fingers kneading his knob through the thick fabric. Finally she jettisoned any hopes of glimpsing at his dick through the zipper first, as generally was her modus operandi, and just yanked his pants down as if she would tear them apart. Larry grinned as her bulbous boobs jumped with the effort. It was for this reason that Hilda got ice cream brought from his truck and straight to her door and never had to walk out and buy it herself. It was because of this kind of reception that he always gave Miss Humper her push-up pops for free.

"Wheeeeeeeee!" Hilda squealed as she perused Larry's erect wee wee pole as it pushed out the front of his Hanes underwear briefs. "I've got him! I've got him! He's all mine now! Let mommy peel down baby's undies. I can almost taste him now."

Hilda kissed the head of the ice cream man's hardness through his Hanes shorts and then grabbed the elastic waistband for what was her most excited moment. Larry Fallus drew a deep breath as the big- tittied trollop slipped off his underwear, easing it way over the giant erection that stabbed outward into the air in a seemingly eternally protracted shaft of rigid flesh. Hilda gushed with emotion when it was exposed to her, like an archaeologist who had discovered an ancient artifact for the first time and had unearthed it with great gusto and expectation. The busty broad took it in her tiny, slender fingers and slid her hand down the smooth and solidified trunk of his sexual organ as she enjoyed the very texture, shape and thickness of Larry Fallus' phallus, much like she always did with a man's part before she enjoyed it in sundry other ways.

"Oh, Larry, baby! Yes, baby! It's so very hard and soooooo, soooooo longgggggg! Momma likes her big boy's big grown-up weenie dinky pee wee!" Hilda exclaimed as she now had quite a rhythm going with her jerking on the ice cream man's manhood, yanking the skin up and down, her eyes agape as she watched it get even more solid and fill wholly with blood.

The tart licked her thick, shiny lips, relishing the thought of tasting and eating on his big pecker for her lunch on this blazing hot summer day that promised to be hot in many other ways too.

"Oh, poopsie, how does that feel? Hmmmmmm, baby? You like the way momma does that shit to her boy's cutesy wutesy wee wee swizzle stick? Are your silly ballsies whipping up a big batch of special pee pee for mommy's ingestion? Cause you know how she likes to chug down all of your yummy mummy gummy fizzy jizzy sticky wicky special pee wee wee wee juice from your wee wee love rocket heady weady cum squirter. Mmmmmmmmm, yessssssssss!"

Hilda was delirious with the desire to take him in. Her fingers rubbed his balls now and slid through his matted pubic hair. Hilda leaned over and kissed his nuts and giggled when a bubbling drop of pre-cum appeared at the tiny hole of his penis head.

"Aaaahhhh, yes, Miss Humper!" Larry let out a slightly subdued cry as the school teacher tongued his balls and tousled his pubic hair with her fingers. "Fuck, yeah! Free ice cream for a fucking year! Holy shitttttttttt! That feels good as fuck!"

"Rowwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Hilda growled like a tigress in heat as her tongue slid over his healthy and very heavy testicles and cleaned them like an animal with young. "Mmmmmm, Larry. Your ballsies smell like sweet raspberry ice cream. Yummy!"

"Yeah, I'll bet they do," the smiling Fallus replied as she lapped his gonads till she could practically see her reflection in the bastards. "I was eating a raspberry popsicle while I was driving today. I dropped it in my lap while going around a curve and it had melted so much that it leaked right through my pants and drawers."

"Mmmmmmmm, slurrrrrpppppppp! That would explain why your silly nutties would be sweet like that," Hilda giggled as she kissed his dangling "stepchildren" and moved her tongue up to higher and more jutting terrain with enormous outcroppings. "It would also explain why your undies had a pinkish tint when I first saw them. I was sure that your tittie momma had a boy baby. Tee hee hee!"

And on the titan monster-breasted dame moved in her wee wee feast. She was just getting started. As Hilda raised her head higher, her nose bumped the end of Larry's length and she chuckled at the way it felt when it struck against her little ski jump. Her blonde head went higher until the ice cream man's penis was exactly even with her mouth whose ruby lips were already slightly pursed.

"Oh, Hilda," Larry sighed, his pupils growing wide and large. "Are you ready to take it? Are you going to take it now? Cause my dick is throbbing for you."

"You bet your sweet raspberry nuts I'm going to suck the fuck out of this whopper!" Hilda exclaimed as she wrapped her right hand tightly around the end of his penis, somewhere just below the end of it so that only the big pee wee head peeked out from the circle of her rounded, grasping fingers. "Now it's time to pay for this week's push- up pops, baby Larry. Don't you think?"

"Aaaaahhhhhhhhh," was all Fallus could manage in response.

Hilda always did take his breath away when she did this shit to his wee wee every week.

"Yesssssssss, Hilda. I do thinkkkkkkk soooooo."

And the payment that was due soon arrived. Larry would take Hilda over money any day of the week, especially on this day, his favorite day and neighborhood by far.

"Ohhhhhhhhh, yeahhhhhhhh!" Hilda cried while wearing a naughty smile as she looked at the swollen pee wee head that peeked through the encompassing grasp of her fingers curled round about his erect pecker that pointed straight ahead. "Oh, what a big, long sweet boy Mr. Wee Wee is. He is momma's favorite popsicle. He is big-tittied Hildy's special push-up pop. She likes to make him push up and right out of his fucking underwear, his fucking raspberry skivvies. Now let momma have a taste."

"Taste away," Larry declared with a sigh that bespoke and gave a true indication of the level of arousal Miss Humper's tender care was truly eliciting in the extended trunk of his wee wee stick. "Do it, Miss Humper, do it. Take him."

"Fuck, yes, baby," Hilda cooed simply as she brought her lips to the penis head that was trapped in her velvet grip, the lucky vice of her little hand that held his girth.

Hilda's tongue darted out much like a frog's would and tickled the cleft of his urethra until he yelped his pleasured approval like a child being playfully tickled on his belly.

"Ohhhhhhhhh, shittttttt!" Larry Fallus practically screeched. "That feels good to my push-up pop penis!"

Hilda released Larry's hard-on from the hold of her right hand and instead slipped his wee wee into the O shape of her opened and widely parted pouty lips.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmm," Hilda grunted as she took his manhood into her oral embrace just past the mushroom top of his shaft and continued to slide him in further still until her mouth held nearly every bit of him.

The suckhappy Humper wasted no time and her gorgeous and comely blonde head began a sleek up and down motion that caused the ice cream man's lucky wee wee to slip cheerily in and out of her deep mouth and throat that took in every inch of his dick, a smidgen at a time. Smidgen by smidgen was the way it began. It was a slow motion at first, that watched his pecker disappear in and out of Hilda's face whose lips were stretched just to fit him inside it. Hilda reached up and gently steadied her rhythm by holding the base of his organ with her left hand while her right hand went into her panties to strum the nub of her clitoris like a cello string, and instead of music, produced unadulterated pleasure. Hilda had always loved the ice cream man since she was a child, but her adult pasttime had her sucking the popsicle in his pants instead of buying the one that he sold from his truck.

"Oh, fuck!" Fallus screeched at the top of his lungs, loving the payment plan that he and Miss Humper had set up. "I'm almost ready to come, Miss Humper! Holy shit, I'm going to come! Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

And Hilda knew that his big cock was ready to spurt its load out in a jiffy too. She wasted no time as she slid him out of her mouth, doing an oral retreat as she whipped his saliva-tinged tinkle toy from her face, still rubbing it, not stopping her stimulating of it for a single second as she raised herself just a bit for what she had in mind.

"I know you've heard of an ice cream sandwich," Hilda Humper laughed as she took his penis in one seamless motion and slipped its stiffness between the titan titties that she parted with her other hand. "You'll never see a fucking sandwich this big again. Tee hee hee! Now squirt momma some of that yummy special wee wee juice she loves so much. Make that jism fly out of your fucking tinkle toy popsicle pecker, now!"

Hilda squashed his wee wee between her J cups and began to slide his shaft up and down and watched with a silly grin as he squirted upward. His semen leaped high into the air as Miss Humper boob- clenched him through it all. The ice cream man's jism rained down upon her, much of it landing in her wide open mouth. Soon they were done for the day.

"Nice doing business with you, Miss Humper," Larry said with playful sardonic seriousness when he slid out from between her boobies, his wee wee flopping free of her confines and bobbing up and down like an excited puppy's tail.

"Well, sir," Hilda replied with a grin, her bulging boobs and her pretty face slathered with his jism. "I believe you owe me some change from our transaction."

She glanced at his waning wee wee curiously and spotted some semen glistening on its shrinking surface. Hilda leaned forward and promptly cleaned it off with her tongue, savoring its unique flavor.

"Yes, that's it," Hilda giggled shamelessly when she was done lapping at his stalk. "Now we're all even. I always like an ice cream man that has change. Tee hee hee! See you next week, sweetie. Bring your push-up pops and that push-up pop wee wee of yours too. You know what, baby? You've got me trained. I should call you Pavlov. Every time I hear the fucking bell on your truck ring as it comes down this street, my pussy gets wet. Hee hee!"


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