Life After We Pt. 11

"I can't be?" Mike said, his words coming out like a derisive scoff.

"I know you Mike," she said. "You need someone not serious. Not as serious. Someone fun."

"Jasmine's fun," Mike said. In his head he added "sorta" but he didn't say that.

Jen looked away, a pained expression on her face. "It's just ... you won't be happy with Jasmine." Looking nervous, she began playing with the buttons of his shirt. "She's beautiful, nice. I just know, you won't be happy with her."

Mike grabbed her hand to stop her playing with his shirt. "Why are you here Jen?" he asked irritably. Again he remembered what he saw at Belinda's party. He said angrily "What right do you have telling me what to do?"

"I care for you Mike, I -."

"You care for me?" Mike said with a bitter laugh. It was like the anger, disappointment and humiliation from Belinda's party opened a floodgate of pent up emotions. "You care for me so much, you lived with Drums while I rotted in jail!" he said bitterly. "You let him move into my house! Mine!" The flood of pent up emotions overwhelmed him. "You fucking let him get you pregnant!" he said choking off a sob.

"I'm so sorry!" Jen cried desperately. "I tried, I ... I couldn't handle it, not knowing where you were, what was happening, if they'd let you go! I lost it, Drums was there -."

"He was there, that's your excuse?" Mike said incredulously.

"Mike please, what can I do?" Jen cried, sobbing now. "Tell me how I can make it up to you." She reached for him but he pushed her away. "Mike don't," she begged. "Please! You think I didn't hurt?"

"You, hurt?" Mike said sarcastically. "How were you hurt? You were going to concerts, riding bikes, fucking Drums every night!"

"You left me!" Jen cried, tears flowing uncontrollably down her face. "You swore you never would, but you left me!"

"After what you did -," Mike started, but Jen interrupted him.

"You promised no matter what, you'd never leave me!" Jen cried. "Then you left, just like ... just like my shit father!" She wept as she pulled her knees up to her chin and hugged her legs.

Jen's words hit him like a physical blow. It was true. "I'll never leave you, I'll always love you, no matter what you do," he'd promised repeatedly. More than once he used that promise to convince her to go farther into the game. Like pretending they were separated and dating Drums like her real, exclusive boyfriend. He looked away, feeling guilty and ashamed.

They were silent for long moments. Jen wept silently, curled into a ball. Mike looked down, feeling like a shit.

Mike finally glanced at her. He frowned. She wore no rings on her left hand. "Where's the engagement ring?" he asked.

"What?"

"The engagement ring," Mike said. "I saw you showing off a big diamond ring at the party."

"Diamond ring?" Jen said confused. Then she opened her mouth as if saying "oh." "It wasn't an engagement ring," she explained wiping tears from her eyes. "I mean, it was, but not mine. Remember I told you Belinda's a jewelry designer now? She's doing cosmetic jewelry. The party was like her trunk show."

"Oh," Mike said processing this. She wasn't engaged to Clint?

Jen wiped the tears from her cheeks. She put her feet down and pulled her skirt down, and then edged closer to Mike on the sofa. "You thought I got engaged to Clint?" she asked hopefully. When Mike didn't respond she said "We broke up, in Vegas."

"You broke up?" Mike said his head spinning. She hadn't spent the week with Clint in San Francisco? "Why?" he asked.

"I don't love Clint," Jen said. She reached for his hand. This time he didn't push her away.

Mike stared at her. He was lost for words. They weren't engaged? They broke up?

Jen looked nervous and started playing with the buttons of his shirt again. "I love you Mike," she said tears welling up in her eyes again. She urgently hugged herself to him. "I never stopped loving you. I know I'm a fuck up. But you loved me before, right?" She pulled away and looked desperately into his eyes. In a pleading voice she asked "Do you think you could love me again? I know you have Jasmine -."

Mike interrupted her. "Jen -."

"Please let me finish!" Jen said looking urgently into his eyes. Tears flowed down her cheeks. She said desperately "I'll do anything for you Mike. I know I didn't help when you were in jail. I made things worse. But -."

"Why didn't you change your name back to Johnson?" Mike asked.

"I wanted you!" Jen cried, tears falling again. She clutched his hands and looked desperately into his eyes. "Jasmine will never love you like I will Mike! No one will! I'll do anything for you, you know that! Please give me another chance!"

"Jasmine and I broke up," Mike said. "That's the big announcement."

Jen stared at Mike for long moments, her mouth open in surprise, shock on her face. Then she collapsed into his chest, weeping and clutching him.

Mike took her into his arms. "I don't love Jasmine," he said hugging her and kissing the top of her head. "I love you. I'll always love you." With each of his words her sobbing grew louder and more out of control.

They held each other a long time, Jen sobbing uncontrollably. Finally she calmed down, although they kept holding each other. They had a lot to talk about, but that would come later. They had time now. The rest of their lives. For now they just held each other.

~~~ The End ~~~

Director's Cut - Extended Scene #1

(From Life After We - Part 8)

Allie tilted her head as she looked at Jen. She said, "I gifted you a song."

"What?"

"I gifted you a song, on iTunes," Allie explained. "You like Pink?"

"Um, I don't know, I guess," Jen said.

The bartender came back. "Another one?" he asked Jen, looking at her mostly empty martini glass.

"She's had enough," Allie told the bartender.

"I'm fine Allie!" Jen hissed. She wasn't in the mood to be handled. "Yes, another one," she told the bartender.

Allie sighed, thinking that Jen was more drama than Mike. Behind Jen, she motioned two fingers close together, telling the bartender to go easy on the alcohol. The bartender gave a subtle nod and put half the usual vodka in Jen's Cosmo.

Allie walked back to the rest of their group. Jen huffed and said under her breath, "I'm fine, I can handle myself." But she felt unsteady in her high heels and had to sit down. She decided maybe the third Cosmo WAS too much and pushed it away, asking the bartender for a big glass of ice water.

As she sipped the water she downloaded the Pink song on her iPhone. It was called "Just Give Me a Reason."

She hit play. Her lips parted in surprise as she listened to the opening lyrics:

Right from the start

You were a thief

You stole my heart

And I your willing victim

I let you see the parts of me

That weren't all that pretty

And with every touch you fixed them

She hit pause and stared at her iPhone. The song seemed to be about her and Mike. They were the unlikeliest couple. People always said that. But opposites attract, right? From the moment she met him at the sorority party, she never seriously thought about being with any other man. No matter what she did - the parts "that weren't all that pretty" - he always made her feel good about herself.

Until he left her.

She hit "Play" again. Her heart was in her throat as she listened to the refrain:

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars on our hearts

We're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

Her heart beat wildly as the song finished. She played it again, and then again.

She hurriedly walked over to Allie, the song sobering her. The lyrics "We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again" rang in her ears.

"Do you really think so?" Jen asked Allie urgently.

Allie smiled understandingly at her best friend. Next to Mike she knew Jen better than anyone. "He went away for a while, I get that," she whispered into Jen's ear, hugging her. "But he'll always be bubble boy to me."

********************

Director's Cut - Extended Scene #2

(From Life After We - Part 11)

After speaking to Maggie, Jen went to her room. "I've got to go to San Francisco, we're pitching Disney," she told Clint, grabbing her suitcase to pack.

"That's wonderful!" Clint gushed. "You can stay with me at my place." Clint's brownstone was in Nob Hill close to Chinatown.

"Yeah ..." Jen said. She looked at Clint for a moment, then kept packing.

Clint put his hand on Jen's arm, stopping her. He asked "I know you're rushing, but can we talk a minute?"

"Sure, of course," Jen said. They both sat down on the edge of the bed.

Clint took her hands. "Have you thought about what I said?"

"Um, yeah," Jen said with a nervous laugh. All day she'd thought of nothing but his proposal of marriage.

"I don't want to rush you, take as much time as you need," he assured her, squeezing her hands. "But I didn't get a chance to show you this."

Jen's breath caught when Clint took out a small box. He opened it. Her eyes went wide. Inside was the most amazing ring she'd ever seen. The diamond was incredibly big, and it sparkled like a million suns.

"Your engagement ring," Clint said hugging her. "Let's try it on, to see how it looks."

Jen offered the ring finger of her left hand. Her hand was shaking. First Clint took off his Jacob ring. Then he slipped on the engagement ring. It fit perfectly. He put the Jacob ring on her right hand.

Jen looked at the engagement ring on her finger. It was so amazing. It was meant for a queen, a goddess, not her.

"Goddess." That was what Mike used to call her. She immediately started crying.

"What's wrong?" Clint said taking her into his arms. She was sobbing.

"Nothing, it's just ... I thought of something Mike used to say," Jen said, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"It's okay, I know you were with him a long time," Clint said, trying to be understanding. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her back.

"We were young," Jen said, as if trying to explain why this was so hard for her. "I was just a sophomore in college. He helped me so much. I treated him like shit. But he was always there, helping me." Tears continued flowing down Jen's cheeks.

"I know, I know," Clint said trying to comfort her. "I know it's hard. Take as much time as you need."

Jen took his hands. She kissed his hands, then pressed them against her cheek. She kissed his hands again, as if never wanting to let him go. Then she looked into his eyes. She said, "I don't need more time, I know what I want."

"Okay," Clint said, looking expectantly at her.

Jen took off the engagement ring. She took off the Jacob ring too. She handed both to him. "I'm sorry Clint, I can't."

Clint looked suddenly distressed. "Jen why? I thought we had something. I thought you loved me."

"I'm sorry Clint," she said shaking her head. She felt sad and guilty and tears welled up in her eyes.

"You don't love me?" Clint asked looking devastated.

Jen shook her head again. "I'm sorry," she said.

"So what have you been doing, dicking with me?" he asked bitterly. "Using me to make Mike jealous?"

"Clint, no, please," Jen pleaded. Tears fell down her cheeks. "I met Mike in college."

"That's not a good reason!" Clint shot back angrily. "I get it, he helped you. But that's not love."

"I do love him!" Jen said, desperately trying to get Clint to understand. "He's like Sarah to me."

"What?" Clint said bristling at the mention of his deceased first wife.

"You told me, Sarah was your soul mate," Jen said gently. Her cheeks were wet with tears. "I'm sorry she died Clint, I really am. But Mike's my soul mate. You see? He's the only man for me. I can't love anyone else."

"Then why go with me at all?" Clint said exasperated.

Jen didn't know the answer. Trying to explain as much to herself as Clint, she said "Things got so confused. He went to jail, the PTSD, Anna, moving to California, Jasmine, everything."

Clint sat resignedly back on the sofa, deflated by Jen's words. "Mike's still with Jasmine," he said. The mention of Sarah took the fight out of him.

Jen looked down. In a soft, barely audible voice, she said "I know."

They were silent for long moments. Finally Clint handed the Jacob ring back to Jen. "Take this," he said.

"No -," Jen protested.

"I want you to have it," Clint insisted, pressing it into her hand. "I'd like that, knowing sometimes you'll look at it and remember me."

Jen kissed his cheek. "I don't need the ring, I'll always remember you Clint," she promised him. He was a good man. But he wasn't Mike.

Later at McCarron airport, Allie boarded the plane to San Francisco. Jen was already there, and Allie sat next to her.

Allie looked at Jen. Her eyes were red, she'd clearly been crying. Then Allie looked at Jen's left hand. Her eyes went wide. "So you did it?" Allie asked staring at Jen's wedding ring finger. She no longer wore Clint's ring. In fact she wore no ring on either hand. "You broke up with him?"

Jen nodded, looking like she was going to cry again. "Allie I'm so scared," she said. Then the tears came.

Allie pulled her best friend into her arms. "It's okay honey, it'll work out," she said soothingly.

"But what if Mike doesn't want me?" Jen said sounding like a scared little girl.

Allie softly stroked Jen's hair. She wasn't worried. It was clear Mike and Jen were still madly in love with each other. They just had to figure it out for themselves.

********************

~~~ Epilogue ~~~

(A few weeks later)

Mike pushed the cart through the grocery store as Jen walked in front. Anna sat in the baby seat and she laughed and played with Mike as Jen worked through their shopping list. Anna was definitely liking having Mike around all the time now, although the toddler was still adjusting to calling him "daddy" instead of "my my" (she often called him "my my daddy").

As Jen selected groceries from the shelves she often looked back at Mike and Anna, smiling and laughing as the two played together. She was constantly smiling and laughing nowadays. So was Mike. Their hearts were filled with love and happiness again. When Jen looked at Mike she beamed joyfully into his eyes, and they were always holding hands and hugging. They still had things to work out - some things might never be fully resolved - but they were in love and together again, and that was all that mattered.

As they walked the aisles of the market, Mike couldn't help noticing men turning their heads as Jen walked by. She was wearing a simple outfit (loose blouse that buttoned in the back, skinny jeans and ankle boots), yet as always her youthful beautiful face, lush blonde hair, tight ass and long shapely legs made her look achingly hot. The fact Jen was so happy and always smiling and laughing now made her even more beautiful and desirable.

At one point Jen got a few feet ahead as Anna grabbed for a box of Fruit Loops (it was her favorite cereal, although they didn't often let her eat sugar cereals). As Mike paused to put the box back on the shelf, he noticed a tall man approach Jen holding feta cheese in one hand and blue cheese in the other. The tall man grinned at Jen and they started talking. From their body language it looked like they knew each other. Mike held back with Anna, wanting to give Jen space to finish her conversation. As Jen spoke to the tall man she glanced back at Mike a few times (looking nervous). The tall man looked at Mike too, a frown on his face. Finally they parted, Jen giving the tall man a quick hug.

Jen walked back to Mike and leaned into him, squeezing his arm. "I think we've got everything," she said putting a quart of organic skim milk into the cart.

"Who was that?" Mike asked.

"Oh um, that's Damon," Jen said nervously.

"Damon?" Mike asked. "You know him from work?"

"No, actually I met him here," Jen said. She laughed to make it sound light-hearted, but Mike could tell she was nervous. "A few months ago."

Mike nodded. He got it. He said "When I was in San Francisco."

"Um ... yeah," Jen hesitantly admitted. She hugged her body to his and squeezed his arm again. "Come on baby, let's go home."

Later that night after putting Anna down, Mike sat down on the sofa next to Jen. "What was the thing with the blue and feta cheeses?" he asked.

"What?" Jen asked.

"Damon," Mike said. "It looked like Damon talked to you about the cheeses."

"Baby are you still thinking about him?" Jen said with a carefree laugh. She looked nervous though.

Mike shrugged and looked expectantly at her.

After a moment Jen admitted "We went out a few times. He made me dinner once. He forgot to buy cheese for the salad and we joked about whether blue cheese or feta would be better." She hugged Mike's arm. "I was lonely honey. It didn't mean anything."

"He made you dinner?" Mike asked. "At his place, or here?"

"Um ... his place," Jen admitted hesitantly.

Mike nodded, processing this. They'd talked a lot since getting back together, but not about other men Jen had seen while they were apart (other than Drums and Clint). "Did you sleep with him?" he asked.

"Mike honey should we really talk about this?" Jen asked gently, looking uncomfortable. "I haven't asked you."

"Tara and Jasmine," Mike said immediately. "The only girls I saw while we were apart."

"Okay," Jen said hesitantly, looking down. She knew about both Tara and Jasmine. She felt relieved there hadn't been others (although they'd been Gia too ...). And thank god no children.

"So ...," Mike prompted.

"This happened when we weren't together," Jen gently reminded him.

"I know, I'm just curious," Mike said. "Did you have sex?" he asked again.

Jen hesitated, uncomfortable with this conversation. She wanted to forget about their time apart and pretend like it never happened.

"Tell me," Mike urged her. He ran his hand down her back, his fingers tracing along her bra line. At his touch, Jen looked up at his face. Playing with her bra like that was usually a sign he was turned on, and in fact she saw excitement on his face. Glancing at his crotch, she saw he had an erection. That was a sign too!

She knew his cuckold fantasies of course. They'd played as recently as Vegas, just weeks ago. But since getting back together he hadn't mentioned the game.

Mike read her mind. "I watched you in bed with Clint, before I left Vegas," he said, his fingers still tracing along her bra. "From the balcony."

"You pervert," Jen said in a soft voice, giving him a playful smile and bumping his shoulder with hers.

"That morning," Mike said. "Did you know you were going to break up?"

"Yeah," Jen said. Answering his unspoken question, she said "I guess it was kinda like goodbye sex." She suddenly looked melancholy. It wasn't that simple, but at the moment it was good enough.

"You're worried about him, aren't you?" Mike asked.

"Yeah, a little," Jen admitted. She hurriedly added "I don't have feelings for him. I just feel bad."

"I get it," Mike said, feeling bad himself about Jasmine. He immediately added with a frown, "I don't want you to see him."

"I won't," Jen assured him. She forced a grin and said "I'm not that worried, Clint can take care of himself."

Mike nodded. He felt the same way, Jasmine was a big girl, she could take care of herself. He still felt bad. His thoughts though returned to that morning watching Clint and Jen having sex.

"When I saw you and Clint in bed, it didn't turn me on at all," Mike told her, stroking her long blonde hair.

"Oh," Jen said surprised.

"I learned something about myself," he said. "The turn on comes from you being mine."

"I am yours," Jen said snuggling into his arm.