Life Ain't Easy Ch. 03

I must thank Techsan and my LadyCibelle for their patience, proof reading and editing skills. But I must also add, as I can't leave a story alone, I could well have added some cock-ups after they have seen it and before it gets posted. That should keep the GPs happy at least.

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Carefully I took aim. But which one was I going to shoot first. Him or her? I decided Margaret would watch her stud die before her eyes. How long did I stand there ready to fire? I don't really know, but just as my finger went back to the safety catch again, I was suddenly aware of movement off to my right.

"For Christ sake, Dave, please don't do this!" a hushed voice whispered, "The girls need you!"

I turned and saw Abigail's Mike standing on the balcony to my room.

"Please put that gun down. The girls want their father and our children are going to need a grandfather."

It may sound silly to say but he was wasting his breath. I had already discovered that for all my planning I had forgotten one thing. I wasn't a killer! Angry as I had been, I couldn't stand there and shoot two people in cold blood. Even if I did despise them.

I lowered the gun flicking the safety back on as I did so then climbed back over the balustrade and jumped the gap back to the balcony on which Mike was standing. I didn't worry about the drop this time; if I fell I hoped I would kill myself. Mike took my arm and led me back into room 203.

"Thank god, Dave, we only realised what you were planning to do this evening. We were just expecting you were going to file for a divorce or something. But when Abbie found the gun was missing, Christ, you gave us a shock."

"How the hell did Abbie know I had a gun?"

"She's been watching you closely since you found out about this."

I looked at Mike. "You! Those e-mails?"

"Not me, Dave. Abbie and Ashley, I just arranged the computer access for them. You know my cousin works in your firm. The girls told us what to say. They've known about it for years; but how could they tell you? They loved you too much. They didn't want him as their father. It was only when your brother started shooting his mouth off and I overheard him in a pub, they decided it was time for you to know."

"It was hard for them, you know, they love both of you and when they were young they didn't know what to do. As they got older they thought you would blame them for not telling you sooner. That left them in a quandary. How would you react towards them when you found out they had always known."

I was in a daze as he led me out of the room and down to my car. Then he called Abbie and told her we would be at the house soon.

Abbie and Ashley were in crying mode when we got there. They told me they had known something had been going on since they were children. They said that as they got older Bob would not visit the house so much when I wasn't around. But they had overheard strange arguments between their mother and Uncle Bob when they were small. When I wasn't around Uncle Bob would talk to their mother as if she was a scivvy and order her around.

Abbie had overheard a big argument they had, in which uncle Bob had told their mother she was going to meet him on the third Wednesday of every month or else; as it was the anniversary or something. As they got older they realised that the or else meant I would find out about the meetings at the hotel.

I couldn't make it out. From what they were saying it appeared Maggie had been going to the hotel under duress. But what could Bob be holding over her. What did he have on her that would put the kind of fear in her that would make her have sex with him every month?

Could Maggie believe that the girls or at least one of them weren't mine? If she did, that could only mean one thing. She and Bob had had an affair that started all this off. I only wished that I had been able to hear what they said to each other in that Hotel room. But it didn't matter; Maggie had to have done something bad to start the ball rolling. Forgiveness was not in the cards here.

I looked at my watch. I had an hour or so before Maggie would get home. Telling the girls I was going to try and get out of the house before their mother returned I began to pack my stuff. Ashley, Mike and Abigail helped me pack and asked me whether I was going to stay with them.

I told them I was going away somewhere to reflect on what my next move was going to be. I knew of a religious retreat down near Newton Abbott in Devon. A friend of mine had been there a few times to get his head together after his wife passed away unexpectedly. It's a weird place completely cut off from the outside world, no phones or post. When you wish to go there you have to go and knock on the door.

Mike insisted that I leave the gun safely locked away in my safe where I always stored it. It would be safe in there, as I was the only one who had the combination.

My car loaded, I drove away, the girls and Mike remained to inform Maggie that it was over. I would really have liked to be a fly on the wall when Maggie got home that night.

I think I drove a little on the fast side. For simplicity I went down the M4 and M5 arriving at the retreat at two in the morning. The place was in darkness so I reclined my seat and got my head down in the car.

I fell asleep much quicker than I thought I would. Maybe it was the relief that I was over the strain of play-acting the loving husband for the last few years.

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A taping on the car window awakened me. I opened my eyes to see someone standing by the car completely covered by a monk's habit, only, unusually for England, the habit was White. The hood came down so far that I couldn't see the person's face. Coming to my senses, I wound down the window and took the cup that was being held out for me. As I took it I noticed it was a woman's hand holding it.

"Good morning, Brother. Are you in need or are you here to visit someone?"

"Well, I need somewhere to sort myself out. My life is a disaster at the moment."

"Brother John will see you very shortly then. Please drink your coffee; it will help you wake up. Once you are settled you can rest all you wish."

My friend had told me about this Brother John character. He ran this whole place. He wasn't apparently connected to any religious order. And when I was first told about it, I had assumed it was a bit of a rip-off place. But they had been a great help to my friend; even if it was a little on the expensive side.

Another couple of habits opened the great doors. That's all you could call them, as you could not tell if they were male or female. I drove inside and the sister who had welcomed me told me to park my car over by some others. She told me to empty my pockets onto the driver's seat and leave the keys in the ignition. I would need nothing from the outside world while I was here.

She was right. After I was shown to a room, I was issued a habit, some white underwear and a pair of sandals. Having changed I was taken down to a refectory and served breakfast. It was apparent that everyone else had already eaten.

After breakfast I was taken to meet Brother John. He was a very unimpressive man, dressed in the same white habit that everyone seemed to wear there. But he had a mind like no one I had ever met before.

We sat and talked for hours and during that time he somehow managed to get my whole life story out of me. . It amazed me he made no notes and the bare room had no recording equipment in it but he appeared to remember everything I ever said to him. All my families' names and all the relevant dates.

On my third or maybe it was the fourth day there, (it's one of those places where time is unimportant) a sister came to tell me I had a visitor. With some trepidation I went down to the visitor's room to find Mike waiting for me.

He told me that Maggie had collapsed when they had told her I knew everything. She told them that Robert had been blackmailing her but she had steadfastly refused to tell them anything further. They were speculating the same as I was that Margaret had had an affair with Robert and they thought that it was possible that one of the siblings was his. I remained silent on this; the time would come for me to speak on that one. There was no sense in rocking the boat any further.

Apparently Maggie had been trying to find me. She was shocked when she called my employers to find I had resigned a couple of weeks earlier. She'd also been taken by surprise to find that all my savings had been transferred into a holding account. I had left £10,000 in our account. I had planned that would be used for our funerals. . My will gave my solicitor instructions as to what was to happen to the rest of our money. But for the meantime it was out of Maggie's reach.

I had also set the wheels in motion to reclaim a loan from my brother's estate. I had lent him money to buy his flat; His divorce had virtually bankrupted him. I used Mike's cell phone (much against the rules at the retreat) to ask my solicitors to look into a legal way of keeping Bob out of my house. It was mine and in my name; I told them that if Maggie wished to remain living there it was to be without him. Mike told me that as far as they could work out Bob hadn't been near the place or Maggie. One of the girls had been with their mother all the time since I left.

I was at the retreat for three weeks, having private consultations with Brother John almost every day. That's all you could call them; I have never visited a psychiatrist but I got the feeling that's what he had originally been.

At my last meeting with him I found I had made the decision to go back to New Zealand and visit my family over there. I don't remember Brother John suggesting it; he didn't ever appear to suggest anything. But I'm sure he made me believe that I had to got back there and close that chapter in my life.

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The following weekend I flew out to New Zealand. My parents were shocked when I walked through the door. It appeared that no one had informed them of what had happened. Yet I knew my brother spoke to them on the phone every week. When I revealed what had been going on, my father nearly had a coronary. Mother went very quiet; I don't think she believed my brother could be that wicked.

The younger of my sisters Yvonne, did not seem surprised in the slightest when she heard about it. Both my sisters had come rushing over the moment they heard I was in town. It was not the enjoyable afternoon that it should have been.

Quite late in the day Yvonne took my arm and steered me out into the garden. "There's lots you need to know about." She told me, "You must come and see me in the morning. Come over to my house about nine when everyone's gone to work and don't tell mum and dad where you're going. If the old man hears about what I've got to tell you, it will certainly kill him."

The following morning I was suffering from a bad case of jet lag as I somewhat groggily drove over to Yvonne's place in my hired car. Yvonne met me at the door and gave me the obligatory tour of the house, as I hadn't seen it for over twenty years.

It struck me she was no longer in the hurry she had been to impart this important secret. When I asked her, she just told me to be patient. Around ten we were sitting in her back garden when I heard a car pull up out front. Yvonne made no move to see who it was so I gathered whoever it was Yvonne was expecting them.

Then Alice Carter, a girl I had known and dated for awhile at college, came walking around the side of the house.

"Hi, Dave, how have you been keeping?" she asked.

Before I could answer her Yvonne stood up and said, "I'll leave you to tell him. If you need an umpire just call."

Alice came over and sat beside me.

"I don't know were to begin. I really should have told you this years ago. But I know why Erica walked out on you. She was devastated when she found out how they had tricked her. She went to England to find you but by that time you had married Margaret so she never did see you to explain. She's living in England now, on the coast in Dorset."

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Erica, the first love of my life, was the reason I had originally gone back to England. I had met Erica in college and we had hit it off straight away. Her people were quite well-to-do and hadn't thought too highly of me. Well, to be honest they hated me; I was one of the rougher kids and to their mind came from the wrong side of town.

Against their wishes Erica and I had set up home together. We didn't get married as her parents were dead against it. We figured they'd get used to the idea in a couple of years and we would get hitched then.

We had two children the first a boy (David Jr.) was never too well and died at three months. The second, a girl Otterley, was a dream; she was one of those perfect babies. Feeds and nappy changes all went like clockwork and she rarely woke us up at night.

But Erica's family were dead set against me and were forever trying to drive a wedge between us. One day I came home from work and Erica and Otterley were gone. I had only just discovered they were missing when the doorbell rang. Two legal wallies stood at the door. They slapped a court order in my hand saying I wasn't to approach or harass Erica and I was also not allowed to go within a mile of her parent's house.

As I said Erica's parents were well off. The more I tried to get in contact with her the more they used their influence to make things difficult for my whole family. I soon found myself out of a job. My boss told me that he had been informed he was going to lose a lot of business if he kept me on. My sisters' husbands were getting the same treatment and in the end I had given up the fight and returned to England.

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Alice opened her handbag and took out and envelope. "This is why Erica left you."

I opened the envelope and six or seven photographs fell out. They were of a much younger and very naked Alice having sex with a young man. But not any young man she was having sex with me! Now Alice and I had been good friends and we had been very close at times, but I had never had any sexual relations with her.

"No, it's not you it's Robert. I think he had his haircut especially to look like yours and they were originally taken on a Polaroid camera. Someone copied them and doctored them. You will notice your birthmark has been added and the scar over Bob's right eye taken out. Erica and I took them into town and the guy at the photo lab blew them up really big and you could see the brush marks where the alterations were made."

"Erica was tricked and you know by whom. I honestly didn't know what he was doing. I thought we were just having a little fun. He took the photos and I thought he had destroyed them. I didn't know what he was planning. We think he picked me because he and Erica knew I was sweet on you when we were in college. She was ever so angry with me and challenged me in the street one day. We had been friends in college and that hurt her almost as much as the idea of you cheating on her."

"She called me all the names you could think of for having a fling with you; but I called her liar, said we had never been together and told her to prove that we had. Well she did! She came round to my house the following day and waved these under my nose. Well, it didn't make any sense so after we had both calmed down, we worked out what had gone on."

"It was Erica's parents and your brother. They split you two up. But by then it was too late for Erica; you had married someone else."

"Who else knows about this?"

"Yvonne, Jane and me, oh and my husband. What was the point of upsetting everyone? What was done was done."

"How did Jane come to know?"

"That was my husband, Tye. Do you remember him from college? Apparently you helped him out in a fight one night."

I remembered the guy, Tye Harding. His name wasn't Tye of course, but there was some actor with that name, so Tye had used it as his nickname and it stuck. I couldn't remember the fight but then I was in a lot of fights back then.

"Tye was clearing out a drawer at home and found these; he wasn't too happy, I can tell you. I had to explain what it was all about. Well, he blew his top. You know he considered you as a friend so in a fit of temper he took the pictures around to Jane. She went completely bonkers, threw Bob out and divorced him. They had been married when those pictures were taken. Oh, Jane's remarried to Tye's older brother and they've had three children. Oh and she would like to see you, if you don't mind?"

"What the hell does she want to see me about?"

"She wouldn't say but the story of your recent problems has got around on the grapevine pretty quick. I think you should know there have been lots of rumours about what Bob was up to over there."

"You mean everyone knows Bob been knocking off my wife."

Well, not exactly. But Bob's friends have been saying that he has three or four children; Jane always says that's got to be bullshit. Although she never will say why she thinks that it is."

I thanked Alice for the information and asked her if she knew any more about Erica and Otterley. But unfortunately Alice had lost track of them shortly after they had gone to England.

Apparently Erica had disowned her family and not returned to New Zealand. Alice had received a couple of letters from her years ago but the only addresses she had were hotels and it appeared Erica had been moving about a lot. In the years since, Erica had sent Alice a couple of Christmas cards and the like but had never put a return address on them.

Alice had deduced that Erica didn't want her parents to find out her whereabouts; Alice thought Erica was punishing them by staying hidden. It was a well-known fact that they were looking for her. Erica's father had apparently spent a fortune on the search for her.

The only thing Alice was sure of was that all the post she had received from Erica had come from the Dorset area. Sometimes they were postmarked Weymouth and other times Dorchester. Well, it was somewhere I could start looking.

For the next week or so I went into a round of meeting up with old friends and getting to know my nephews and nieces. I became acutely aware of some of Bob's old friends snickering when they saw me. And something else I found interesting; people that I hardly knew would come up and feign friendship. It wouldn't take long for these somewhat strained conversations to work their way around to Erica. I soon learned that Erica's father had a sizeable reward on offer for information about where she was.

Almost as soon as I had set it up, e-mails started coming through from my daughters asking me to return to England. They all assured me that they loved me. But they also said that Robert had been in touch with all of them claiming to be their real father. It struck me that there was going to have to be a real showdown. Maybe I should have had it before I went to New Zealand but I was much calmer now and I hoped I knew where my life was going.

Shortly after I began to make my plans to return to England I received a call from Alice telling me that Jane wanted to see me. We made arrangements for me to meet her at Alice's house.

The meeting was short and sweet. Jane threw her arms around me and told me how sorry she was about what Robert had done. Then she told me what I had expected her to tell me and we parted promising to stay in contact. One of her daughters was planning to come to England for a while and I said I would look out for her whilst she was there.

After Jane left, Alice told me she was working hard to track Erica down. It appeared that their old school friends had scattered to the four corners of the globe and Alice was slowly tracking them all down. It was apparent that Erica's father had been along the same route as some of them were being very coy. But Alice said that the moment she told them that it was me who was looking for Erica; they suddenly became much more co-operative; unfortunately no one had come up with anything concrete so far.