Life as a Bogan

"My room is this way, and don't get any ideas." She led him down the hallway and into her room. Shazza had not bothered to change her sheets. "And that is the reason that I left home." Miranda pointed to the semen stain on her sheet. "That bastard Bazza was in my bed when I got home, and he had been jerking off. Filthy swine."

Simon put his arm around her and pulled her close. "It's all right, you don't have to come back to this."

"But I can't leave them now, they're my family. Someone once said that you can choose your friends but not your family. Much as I've enjoyed staying with Mel, and you," She looked at him, deciding whether to tell him how she felt. "Especially you, this is my home and these are my people, and I don't really think that you can handle that, at least not for very long. Life as a Bogan has this habit of grinding the life out of you."

"You seem to have survived so far. You could always be a part-time Bogan, stay with Mel during the week and come home on weekends. At least that way you're closer to Uni and will have fewer distractions while you study."

"Are you trying to tell me that you won't be a distraction?"

"Only if you want me to be."

"See, I'll be distracted whatever I do. There is no way that you're going to leave me alone if I'm staying with Mel, and if I stay here I'll have all of the associated distractions to cope with."

"Are you trying to tell me that if you stay with Mel you don't want me coming around?"

"No. I won't be able to stop you, but if I want to succeed and find a better life for myself, I've got to concentrate on achieving that, and I'll never be able to do that if you're there all the time."

"You're forgetting one thing."

"What's that?"

"I too have a life, and I too have to concentrate on my studies, and to do that I will have to limit the times that I visit Mel. Anyway, it won't take her long to realise that when I come calling it is to see you and not her. She might not like that."

"What do you think about this?" Miranda had thought of a solution. "You limit your visits to a couple of times a week, and when you come we don't do anything stupid like slipping off to my room and leaving her alone. We can keep your visits completely platonic."

"Do you really think that we can do that?"

"No, but we have to try, because if we don't I know what will happen."

"And just what is that?"

"You and I will fall in love . . ."

"And we haven't already?"

"And end up making love. Then we'll get carried away and I'll end up pregnant and like my mother. Much as I love her, I don't want to end up like her. And yes, you could say that we have."

"Have what?"

"Fallen in love." Miranda found herself being crushed to Simon's chest, and her mouth being engulfed by his. She pushed him away. "Stop that!" She said firmly. He did not. "Stop that." She said less firmly. He relaxed his grip on her. "We have to get back to the Courthouse and see what we can do for my parents."

"I suppose so. But I have to tell you that you have this affect on me that isn't about to go away." Simon took her hand and placed it over his cock, his hard cock. Miranda smiled at him and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the front door.

"That will have to wait. At least until we solve our immediate problems."

"Does that mean?" He asked hopefully.

"I'm making no promises. Let's leave it at that."

They soon found themselves seated in a courtroom.

It took a while for me to register that Randi was seated next to Shazza, and that she wasn't alone. There was this poofy looking bloke next to her, and they seemed to be more than just good friends if you know what I mean. I didn't have long to think about this, my thoughts were interrupted by the Police Prosecutor.

"Mister Winters, you have been charged with receiving stolen goods, in this case a flat screen TV set that was a part of a shipment of electronic appliances stolen from a warehouse at Milperra last night. How do you plead, guilty or not guilty?"

"Not guilty. How was I to know that it was stolen?" I said to him.

"But you do agree that the serial number on the set matches one on the list of stolen goods from that robbery?" He says to me.

"Yeah, but I didn't have that list to check on when I bought it, did I?" I says.

"Where did you get it?" He asks me.

"I bought it from a bloke at the pub."

"What was this man's name?"

"How should I know? But I don't think it was Watt."

"I didn't say his name was Watt."

"Yes you did, just then. You just said Watt was his name, but I don't think it was. He said his name was Bruce."

"Bruce what?"

"Nah, he didn't say his name was Bruce Watt. I don't know any Bruce Watt."

"I didn't say that his name was Bruce Watt. . . "

"Yes you did, just then. You're trying to confuse me."

"Let's forget about his name for the present."

"It wasn't a present, he sold it to me."

"Mister Winters, will you stop trying to muddy the waters."

"What's Muddy Waters got to do with it, he's probably dead by now."

"I am trying to ascertain the facts around this transaction. You say that you bought this set from a chap who called himself Bruce. Is that true?" He was getting' pissed off, I could tell.

"Yeah, he said his name was Bruce."

"How much did you pay for the set?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean nothing? How can you buy something like this for nothing?"

"I didn't give him any money."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't have any to give him. I haven't got me dole yet."

"But you did promise to pay him for the set when you got your unemployment benefits, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"How much did you promise to pay this Bruce?"

"Eight hundred bucks."

"For a set worth close to two thousand?"

"I didn't know what it was worth when he offered it to me, did I?."

"That is the recommended retail price for this particular set."

"If you say so. All I know is that it looked to be a pretty good deal."

"Too good to be true perhaps?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"And that didn't ring any alarm bells in your mind?"

"Nah. I was just thinking that I wanted to get it home and try it out."

"When you were taken into custody you were asked to assist police in tracking down those responsible for stealing the TV set. Is this correct?"

"Yeah."

"And, in return the police would not charge you with receiving. Is this not also correct?"

"Yeah."

"But you have not been able to provide police with one shred of usable information, have you?"

"I don't know. I've told them everything I know."

"But it's hardly going to be enough to lead police to a conviction is it?"

"I wouldn't know about that. All I know is I've done me best."

"Your Honour, I would ask at this stage of the proceedings, that this witness be held in police custody on the charge of receiving stolen goods, in the hope that his amnesia will be cured."

The Magistrate looked sharply at him, and then at the solicitor that they gave us. "Mister Roberts?"

"Your Honour, my client is willing to assist the police with their enquiries, and he did not knowingly receive the goods in question and, on that basis, I do not believe that a custodial remand is warranted. We would therefore apply for bail."

"Very well, bail is set at two hundred dollars."

"Where am I going to get that kind of money?" I asked.

"You could always use your dole, now that you won't need it to pay for the TV set." The Police Prosecutor said with a smirk on his face.

Just then I noticed the bloke with Randi lean forward and talk to the Solicitor. "Your Honour, this young man has offered to pay my client's bail."

"Very well." He looked at the cop, who looked disappointed, then at me. "Very well, you may step down. Next case."

We stood around outside the courtroom while the bail money was paid. Randi and this bloke came back, he was stuffing his wallet into his pocket. "Dad, this is Simon. Mel's brother."

"Who is this Mel?" I asked.

"The friend I stayed with last night. She and I work together."

"How do you do Sir." He shoved his hand out. I shook it. For a poofy looking bloke he had a firm handshake, maybe he wasn't as poofy as I thought.

"Let's go home." Shazza said. She looked at Miranda, you are comin' aren't you, both of you?"

"Yes." Miranda said. "He's seen the place and it hasn't scared him off. At least not yet."

We called into a bottle shop on the way back for some celebratory booze, in this case a six pack of beers. Simon and Miranda both sipped their beers while I was givin' it a bit of a nudge. "Don't you think you should slow down on that beer?" She asked me.

"I suppose so, I'm just about caught up anyway."

Shazza stood up. "Randi, Miranda" She caught the look on Miranda's face. "Could you give me a hand to get some coffee?"

"Sure Mum."

Trust the two of them to leave me alone with this stranger. What was I supposed to say to him? "What do you do for a crust?" I asked. Might as well get this part of the interrogation out of the way quickly.

"I'm at Uni and I work part-time as a Night Manager at a pizza takeaway."

"Which one?" I was hoping that it wasn't Pizza Hut or Domino's, or even Pedro's, because if he did this could get a little awkward, he'd probably know about Shazza rootin' the delivery drivers for free pizza.

"Pedro's. Don't worry, I know about the scheme you've got going with the drivers. They pay for the pizzas themselves. I guess that they figure it's still a pretty cheap root. Don't worry, Miranda and I have already discussed this, she knows that I know and that it hasn't affected our relationship."

"Speakin' of which, what is your relationship?"

"There's not a lot to tell at this early stage. We've decided to take it as it comes, that's the wrong word, take it one step at a time."

"I don't want you two makin' the same mistakes that Shazza, Sharon and I made. We did what all the kids were doin' around here back then, it was expected of us to start rootin' early and the girls getting' up the duff, and us havin' to marry, or at least live together, and have kids, lots of kids. The more kids you had the more dole you got. We had it sweet for a while, because I had a good job as a Brickie. It was hard work, and we gave the piss a nudge on payday, but there was enough dough to go around to pay the rent and get a decent car to go to work in. We weren't countin' on a scaffold collapsing and droppin' me ten feet onto a pile of bricks. Fucked me back up totally, I couldn't move properly for years, and before we knew it, we'd been kicked out of the good house we were rentin' and ended up here as 'Housos'. It's no life for a young family, let me tell you. Miranda wanted out of here from a very young age. We didn't let on that we knew how well she was doin' at school, but in our own way we encouraged her."

"She said that you didn't even know that she was going to Uni next year."

"We never told her that we knew, but we did. We figured that the more she saw of the life we lived here, the more she would want to succeed and get out of it. We just didn't want her to know it, that's all. If you're serious about Miranda, I want you to promise not to hurt her, because if you do, it won't be pretty."

"I will never hurt her, that much I can promise."

In the kitchen Miranda was undergoing a similar conversation with Shazza. "You and him, have you, you know, rooted yet?"

"No Mum. We have decided that I will move in with Mel, and that Simon would limit the number of times a week that he visits, and that we would not do anything, for fear that we might hurt Mel's feelings. I don't want to run the risk of falling in love with him before I get to know him better, and we become good friends. I want to be well on the way to a career before I even think about anything more than a casual friendship."

"I wish you luck with that. I had visions of getting qualifications and a good job, but then I met this handsome young Brickie and before I knew it you were on the way, and my dreams had become just that, dreams."

"Mum, much as I love you, I am not about to make the same mistake that you did. That's not to say that I'm not unhappy that you did. Where would I be if you hadn't fallen for him? But, let's face it, life as a Bogan just doesn't suit me, or is it being a Bogan doesn't suit my life?"

"So, you've made up your mind to leave. I hate to lose you like this, I had high hopes for you, what with Uni and all."

"I didn't think you knew about that until yesterday."

"I've been keeping track of you right through school." She went into her room and returned with a shoe box. "I've got all of your report cards in here, and the comments have all been along the lines of 'Miranda shows great promise for the future'. I was very proud of you when your Matriculation results came out and your Uni course acceptances were announced. You have achieved something that I had hoped to achieve, and I'm pleased that you want to get yourself established in a career before you consider getting married and having kids." She hugged Miranda and through tear filled eyes. "Simon seems to be the right guy for you, and I hope that it works out between the two of you. My advice to you is, before you two make love, get on the pill."

"I will Mum, you can count on that."

Miranda and Simon sat on the sofa watching TV and talking to Mel. "Will you two do something about this." Mel asked.

"About what?" Miranda asked.

"This, us sitting around chatting with the TV as background noise. I know that the two of you want to, you know. Go, go to your room and get it over with. I will be happy for you."

Simon stood up and helped Miranda to her feet. "You're sure about this?" He said to Mel.

"Go. You've been wanting to do this for months and have held back because you thought that I'd be hurt by it. I know that Miranda's on the pill, I've seen the empty packet in the rubbish. So go, get it over with."

He led Miranda into her room. "Are you sure about this?" he asked her.

"Never been surer of anything." She placed her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Simon returned her kiss and held her to him. It was not long before she could feel his hardened cock pressing against her belly. She moved her hips, rubbing against it. His hand cupped a breast and, even through the layers of her top and bra, he could feel her responding to him.

It took ages for them to strip off and explore their way around each other's body. Miranda pulled the sheet down and they slipped into bed and each other's arms. She lay on top of him, her legs either side of his body and the tip of his hard cock pressing against the mouth of her vagina. She pushed down on him, feeling the tip slide into her moist entrance. She pressed down harder until his head reached her hymen. She held him there for several minutes before pushing down on him, hard. With a sob she felt the sharp pain as he burst through her hymen and slid deep inside her. Simon grabbed her arse cheeks and held her to him, preventing her from pulling back, luxuriating on the feel of her around his cock, warm, moist and perfect. This was the moment that they had been waiting for for some months now, and at last it had arrived. "Miranda, I love you so very much right now, and it's only going to get better."

"I know my love, now, are we going to just lie here with your magnificent cock inside me, or are we going to finish off what we have started?"

"Finish off sounds perfect. Do you want it slow and gentle, or do you want it rough?"

"I'll leave that up to you." Slow and gentle it was, and when he eventually came inside her, she sighed and kissed him. "That was perfect." She said.

That was some time ago. Just after Miranda moved in with Mel, she went to the Women's Health Clinic and got the pill as soon as she could, she knew that she couldn't hold out for any length of time. It wasn't as if Simon was pressuring her to give in to him, in fact the opposite was the case, and that's what made her more determined that she would give in to him when he asked her to. Once she and Simon made love for the first time, all pretence of Simon coming over to visit Mel disappeared. He was coming to be with Miranda and that was the end of it.

"I'm glad that I met you." Miranda whispered to him one night.

"Oh yes, and why would that be?" He whispered back, his hand between her legs, making her squirm.

"Because you've saved me from a life as a Bogan."

Life has changed on Paradise Road, San Souci Estate. We found that without Bazza there spongin' off us all the time, we didn't spend as much on food, or booze. When we order pizza these days we pay with money, and the pizza guys aren't too pleased about that. Shazza tells me that she's satisfied with just me these days, and I know I am with her, knowing that she's not rootin' every bloke around. Bazza never came back, and the last I heard was that he was in strife with some sheila's husband and is layin' low for a while. Lockie got a job as an apprentice Motor Mechanic and was chippin' in for his board. He wasn't goin' out with his mates as much. Most of 'em were out of circulation for traffic offences, non-payment of fines and such. He got his Drivers License and bought himself a decent second hand car. He even managed to stay out of trouble with the cops, so we see less of Coxy and his new partner. His old one got a little careless and lost track of what shift her husband was on, and she and Coxy got caught out. Her divorce is on the cards, and Coxy's kid is on the way. They told us that they planned to get hitched as soon as possible, his divorce having just been finalised.

Me, who'd a thought it, I got a job. Actually it was Simon that got me the job, as a handyman at his father's house. It turns out that Simon's old man was filthy rich, so I guess that him and Randi'll, fuck I forgot, she doesn't like being called that anymore, him and Miranda will never be short of dough. Anyhow I work five days a week and the job's not too hard on me back, in fact I haven't felt this good in years. Shazza, she's asked me to call her Sharon these days, and she calls me Daryl, she did this course and now she's working in retail. We both got rid of our mullets and had some dental work done to fill in the gaps in our front teeth, and we dress differently these days as well. We started by getting our clothes from the Op Shop, but lately we've been buying from proper shops, and they get washed after each use rather than like before, when they began to smell,

We both have to admit that this life is a huge improvement on our previous lives as Bogans.

As for Miranda and Simon, we see them at least once a week. They are still together and doin' great. Both are doing well at Uni and are already putting feelers out for jobs. They have their own flat now, and are even planning to get married. Miranda told Sharon that they weren't rootin', they were makin' love instead, and they'd been doing it for some time.

I guess that they'll never be Bogans.