Life as a New Hire Ch. 16

"What of Arinniti's crime?" Beyoncé prodded. She wasn't feeling self-righteous. Quite the opposite; the mood had shifted away from bloodlust to uncertainty. Amazons liked decisiveness. They also liked only having to do something once and being done with it. That was the riptide of the New Directive - some houses couldn't let go of the fact they'd lost.

That constant pecking away at the plan were the half-measures Katrina was complaining to Hayden about. From my experience, the Ash Men was Katrina's goal all along. Had she been open and honest with this desire, there was no way any aspect of the New Directive would be implemented.

If you believed in conspiracy theories, Katrina had groomed me for some time. If you believed in luck, Katrina was cosmically lucky our paths collided. If you believed in mysticism, I was fucked. Let's not forget that there were three millennia of bad ass bitches on the other side of the spiritual divide who thought nothing of guiding me into a life full of fear, heartache and pain.

A lengthy debate ended in a classic Amazon compromise - they forgot about it. Literally, they erased the crime against the Ash Men and Arinniti's 'omission' of sparing three of their sons. What had happened to all my 'Ash' brethren? Whoops - they were misplaced. They weren't erased from the rolls - that would make my existence inexplicable, so we remained honorary Amazons.

I was sure their angry ghosts were totally mollified. I was sure me and the first female Pope would get it on too. As the meeting was breaking up, one of the 'unfriendly' Amazons shot me a remark.

"I supposed you are elated," she grumbled.

"Really? You think so? Here, let me sell all your underage daughters to Romany gypsies so that you never see them again and you'll have an inkling of how I feel," I smiled serenely.

"You should be happy you are allowed to stand in our presence," she got truly pissy.

"Lady, I won't be happy until I get to hunt hate-filled monsters like you for sport," I kept smiling.

"Until then, I'm afraid we are both going to have to live unsatisfying lives," I added.

"Perhaps we should handle this with a blood feud?" she salivated at the prospect.

"Sure. I'll get the Neutron Bomb we have in the Armory. You chose whatever you like. I'll meet you downtown at noon," I proposed.

It is much better to make a nuclear weapon joke and not have every authority figure in the room glance at you nervously. Did we really have a nuclear warhead in the basement? Fuck if I knew. They'd have never told me if there was. I felt a hand on my shoulder and recalled the touch.

"Cáel Nyilas, you are forbidden from engaging in blood feuds - in your case, feuds of any kind until one lunar cycle is completed," Hayden instructed.

"Thank you. I appreciate that," my honesty, heartfelt reply slipped forth.

"My judgment wasn't for you, Cáel. You've caused catastrophic trauma to our society as an outsider. I tremble to think what you can do now that you are one of us," Hayden gave me a truly serene response. "Give me a little time to prepare."

"Oh! Great idea," I exclaimed. "Gotta go!" and I raced for the door, tossing Elsa her gun.

"Should I shoot him?" Elsa suggested. "Only to slow him down a bit." I made it to the elevator carrying my jacket and shoes. With me were four sets of Amazons that wanted me dead and one set who were rather ambivalent about the whole matter.

I caught one of the 'hater' juniors looking at me. I turned my head enough so we could make prolonged eye contact. I smiled. Reluctantly she smiled back. I leaned in slightly.

"Can I borrow your phone? SD beat me up earlier and stole all my stuff," I innocently requested. I was pretty sure she was as surprised as every other man-hater in the box that she handed it over.

Like shooting fish in a barrel. I began making a few quick texts to the three crucial people in my scheme.

"What did you do that for?" her senior hissed. With my brand new Stinky Pooh-Bah status, she couldn't knock the device out of my hands.

"I don't know," she pleaded to her superior. I finished up then handed it back.

"Your 'apprentice' has rendered House Ishara an important service that shall be entered into our records of boons and debts," I nodded gravely. "What is your name?"

"Gale," she batted her eyelashes. "What did I do?"

"What are you doing for lunch tomorrow?" I magically conjured up her hand in mine with my fingertips coursing over her palm and wrist. "I'll explain it then."

"You may not spend time with this...person," Senior insisted.

"We should not overlook an opportunity to make an alliance with a First House," Gale countered.

Bang! Looking like trout for lunch. Gale won, I won and we were meeting at my place so we could figure out where to eat - yummy. Somewhere in the episode, I'd introduce Odette into the mix. It was only fair. I was asking her to hide in Timothy's room until I got Gale warmed up after all.

I was the first one of the 'team' to arrive. I was nervously pacing Katrina's office when Desiree and Paula showed up. Desiree took a casual seat on the sofa while Paula hovered around my desk.

"Is this going to be really bad, or really good?" Desiree mused.

"Why should you have to choose?" I laughed. "Besides, we are aiming for epic status today."

"Why are we here?" Paula worried. I stopped. I had a 'Eureka!' moment. There probably was a Bible for what I was planning to do, but they hadn't given it to me. I ran to the bathroom and came back with a glass.

"Desiree, I need two things. I need your sharp, pointy thing and for you to slap me until I cry," I looked at her expectantly.

"My pleasure," Desiree rocked up from her seat. "Slapping then knife?" I nodded. I was still in the painful smacking process when Buffy and Violet entered.

"Can anyone join?" Buffy asked Paula.

"I...I don't think so," Paula shook her head. "He's got a plan. I don't know what for." I dodged Desiree's final swing. I had gathered enough tears - I hoped.

"That was truly therapeutic, Cáel," Desiree stated. "Let me know if you need a repeat performance." She handed me her small knife.

Helena and Daphne finally strolled in. I wove past them, retrieved a piece of paper which I tore in two and two pens.

"Helena and Buffy, please write your names down on these pages," I requested.

"What the hell?" Buffy growled. "What is this about?"

"Trust me," I met her gaze.

"Buffy, Cáel is an ass, but he's not crazy. He's up to something," Desiree intervened. Helena stepped up and wrote her name. Buffy followed suit. I took the pages to Katrina's desk.

"Come forth and kneel before me," I commanded.

This was the point in the ritual when I figured my death was most likely. Buffy shot an evil look at Desiree then very reluctantly complied. Helena followed. Hmmm...Amazons kneel with both knees on the ground. That puts their mouths almost...I had to keep with the program. I burned the two autographs and scattered the ashes.

"There is no Buffy DuBois. There is no Helena Shultz," I began. I dipped a finger into the shallow pool of my tears. I ran one down under the left eye of each lady. "With this, I open your eyes to the joys and sorrows of our ancestors." That brought on a hush and the anger in Buffy's eyes evaporated.

I cut my left forefinger then motioned them to do the same. First Buffy: I linked our bloody digits.

"With this, our blood is mixed. You are Buffy of House Ishara from this moment forth. You are the first of this House. You are our spear and shield," I met her gaze. She started crying.

"You are Helena of House Ishara from this moment forth," I continued on. "You are the second of this House. You keep the records of our Host, keep track of our deeds, sins and accounts." Helena began weeping too. Had I said 'just joking', the cleaning team would have been finding torn pieces of me weeks later.

"House Ishara is dead," Daphne stated the obvious.

"Suffice it to say, long ago, House Ishara brought a male into their ranks as a member of the House," I started. I motioned for my two House-mates...members to rise.

"The Second Betrayal," Violet interrupted.

"Yes. During the Second Betrayal, some males remained loyal. My descendent was sent on a mission for the Host. The mission took him past his lifespan. His offspring continued on until you end up with me - being here - today. Suffice it to say, he was never removed from the rosters of the Host, thus every offspring was a member too," I recalled recent edited events.

"By Amazon law, House Leaders are selected by their peers, victors in a challenge for leadership, or..." I continued.

"The eldest of the house," Daphne gasped. "Since Ishara is...since all the female members of the Host are dead, you are the eldest member of the Host."

"You don't have to be a female?" Desiree muttered. "That's insane. We are Amazons."

"There hasn't been a male in the host for over 2500 years," I explained. "It never came up. Back when they had them, there simply weren't enough men to worry about. Afterwards, there were NO men to worry about. Apparently your ancestors thought writing down 'eldest female' was redundant."

"That had to have gone down like a mouse passing an elephant turd," Paula muttered. We all looked at her. "What? Since I met Cáel, I've been writing down little phrases to use in situations like now. This was the first one I could recall."

"Actually, they wept tears of joy, lifted me up on their shoulders and sung paeans to my glory," I lied.

"So, when do you think the first assassination attempt will be?" Desiree shook her head. This was a lot for her to take in. Not only was my tale fantastic, Buffy was her friend and Desiree knew that Buffy bled for a chance to join the Host and had done so for years.

"Why do you think I called Buffy first?" I snickered.

"I won't let you down," Buffy declared with grim determination.

"Calm down, Buffy," I assured her. "I don't think me being casually snuffed out is on their agenda. They've already gone through a torturous compromise to end up with this screwed up situation."

"So why did you pick me...and Helena?" Buffy studied me.

"Buffy, you are the most amazon-Amazon I know," I told her. "You like Helena and she said nice stuff about Daphne which showed her character, so I chose her next."

"Hey, this means I can finally slap Fabiola around," Buffy's eyes grew bright.

"Which reminds me - can I get any volunteers for Old Kingdom Hittite lessons for these two," I begged my 'new hire' companions.

"I'll take two nights a week," Daphne offered.

"I'll take one night," Paula added.

"I'll take a fourth," Violet completed the set.

"Damn it," Desiree cursed. "This means Buffy must be taught the Prayer of the Ancestors."

"You are right," Buffy gasped. "I accompany Cáel to Council meetings now."

"One note - I don't vote," I informed them. "I made that decision. House Ishara has never had a male vote for it and I'm keeping that tradition. I can speak, but not vote. When my daughter comes of age, she will have full rights."

Desiree, Buffy and Helena were confused. Daphne, Violet and Paula, on the other hand, were enraptured. This was the only life - only traditions - they had ever known and I had sacrificed something of importance to them out of respect to their sensibilities.

"Cáel's decision makes it easier for you, Buffy and Helena," Daphne explained.

"This allows the other Heads of House to get used to him being there - less of a culture shock," she continued. "In a few years he may end up getting a vote anyway as they learn to respect him and House Ishara. You are one of the First Houses - reborn, I imagine." Buffy's eyes grew wide and her mouth gaped open.

"Yeah Buff," Desiree shook her head. "One of the first twenty war leaders of the Host. You have the blood of Mycenaean warriors on your hands."

"Cáel, I..." Buffy began.

"I gave you nothing, Buffy. If you think there is someone more deserving than you, please point them out," I touched her tear-drenched cheek.

"I do want something from you," I said compassionately. Buffy was attentive. "I want you to undergo a sex change operation and become a real woman." Ow! Buffy punched me.

"Buffy, you might not want to damage your House Head in public. It is bad for his prestige," Paula pointed out.

"Good point," Buffy frowned. "Cáel - bathroom - now."

"Uh-oh, no way, no how," I back-pedaled. "Today has been painful enough. I had a run in with some Security Detail and House Guard on the way to the podium."

"What did they do to you?" Helena inquired.

"For starters, they haven't given me back my valise," I complained. "Also, who do I report these additions to House Ishara to? Finally, Buffy promised me she'd wear a thong and those little, circular Band-Aids if I got her into the Full-blooded gym again."

"Decorum, Buffy," Desiree stopped Buffy from punishing me. "Decorum."

"Why don't you have to behave?" Buffy glared at me.

"I'm the ghost of a man dead for over 2500 years," I winked. "I'm allowed to be eccentric."

"I'll start calling around to find out who gets told what and where your stuff is Cáel," Helena grinned. She was full-blooded now; the goal of every Runner who joined.

"What is next for you now?" Daphne questioned.

"I imagine I have a job to do," I replied. "I mean, Katrina works and she's head of House Epona. I'm an intern, just like I was yesterday. That hasn't changed."

"Oh goodie," Buffy smacked her hands together, "you can still work for me."

"Oh - yay," I groaned sarcastically.

"What's wrong now?" Katrina said as she waltzed into the room. I caught sight of a few SD chicks hanging around outside. "There are for your protection if you feel you need it."

"Nah," I shook my head. "I have that taken care of. I brought Buffy and Helena into House Ishara."

Katrina stopped and looked at me. There was definitely some tension between us.

"You might want to consult with - others before you do something like that again," Katrina cautioned me.

"I'll definitely consider your offer. For now, I chose the best for the future of Ishara," I said, "as is my duty and responsibility."

We locked gazes once more. Things had changed between us. They had to have.

"I seem to have missed my Firing Range practice today as well as the morning meeting," I reminded Katrina. She'd known what fate awaited me when I walked in the door and not warned me. I didn't blame her. That was what she was looking for - the anger.

Before, I couldn't have acted on it.

"Cáel, get dressed. I saw Helena running off on some sort of errand which I imagine is your fault, so you are working with Daphne for the rest of the day," Katrina resumed her pace to her desk. She examined the nearly empty glass.

"My tears," I answered. "It is part of my ritual for induction into House Ishara." In case you missed it, I never said 'my house'. This was on purpose. As long as I made no open claim to such a lofty spot, they could ignore me hanging around a bit better.

"You may want to talk with House Arinniti, or Šauška about such rites," Katrina advised.

"He burned their old names to ash, scored their left cheeks with his tears to remind them of his ancestors and mixed his blood with theirs so they would be known to all as members of House Ishara from this day forth," Daphne related. "It was very touching - simple and to the point."

"That's Cáel for you, simple and straight to the cultural jugular," Katrina shook her head.

"He did nothing wrong," Buffy protested. I was getting dressed.

"Buffy, I have wanted to initiate you into House Epona for years. Family politics have prevented that. Sixty years after the First Initiative, fewer than a fifty 'Runners' have been brought into the Host. Mutual condemnation has kept each house in check - restrained from recruiting new blood into the Host."

"And now we have Cáel," Desiree groaned.

"Who does care not one bit about social ramifications of bringing a hundred runners into one of the oldest houses of the Host," Daphne sighed.

"But, we deserve this," Buffy proclaimed.

"That, Buffy, is the point and the problem - you and others like you do deserve it," Katrina fondly regarded her 'now-Full-blooded' friend. "Most of the other houses would disagree though, but they won't be able to convince Cáel of this - thus begins the next quagmire of Cáel's creation." It was the prejudice laid bare.

The 'Runners' knew they had very little chance of being accepted into a House. They had a long history of neglect to look back on. The few who had graduated had been virtually superhuman to be accepted. Then I came along. Suddenly, for some of the best and brightest of the 'Runners' there was a serious likelihood they could be brought into a highly prestigious House, because its leader was a nutjob.

This morning, when the meeting adjourned, House Ishara had been a tiny blip on the Council's radars. Those women so disregarded the 'Runners' they hadn't even thought about my reaction to the dilemma of the miniscule size of my house, despite the answer being all around them (though safely contained upstairs in their minds).

House Ishara with a lone member, a male at that, wasn't a threat - not really. The specter that Katrina foresaw was something different. She saw a House Ishara with a thousand members, and all hardened, dedicated and trained Amazons - formerly 'Runners'. Loyal to me? No. Loyal to House Ishara? To their dying breaths.

The reasoning for this was Amazon-simple. They weren't fighting for, or honoring, me. They were doing it for my unborn daughters who would one day rise up to lead them. Daughters they would train to respect both Full-Bloods and Runners equally. That was the rejuvenation of our House. In the interim, they would do what I said because that was the will of their ancestors.

There were 52 - now 53 - existing Houses and 7 - now 6 - extinct ones. One house having a thousand members would be a serious headache and concern for the others. I didn't know the numbers of any of the houses. Working in Executive Services, I had the faintest inkling of overall Havenstone numbers.

They hid their secrets well so the best I could do was between 15,000 and 40,000 souls and I was starting to think the latter number was more accurate. Having a 1000 members in House Ishara was bad. What made it worse was that half of that total number were 'Runners'. If I made Ishara the largest House, the others had few options.

They could suck it up, attempt to destroy me, or begin their own recruiting program - making the First Directive finally successful.

"Katrina, I beg two more favors from you," I looked at my Boss. She nodded.

"I need nine names of people who can help me screen recruits for House Ishara," I began.

"I want them to join with Helena to work out a suitable number of prospective members as well as the ones to be initiated," I requested. "Which is the second favor - needing Helena freed up to take care of House Ishara business."

"What is in it for me?" Katrina regarded me with a witty smirk.

"I'll...I'll go visit Aya at Summer Camp," I sacrificed. Katrina blinked.

"Unexpected," she nodded. "I can see you are serious about this. Done." No one who knew me would think me going to see Aya was a concession of any kind. It was still a favor for Katrina. I was getting to go because, while they had refused the male intern, they could not refuse a House Head.

"It will take me some time to make arrangements...how do you want to be referred to now?" Katrina inquired. She meant as 'Cáel Nyilas', or 'Cáel Ishara'.

"Oh - oh, cool," I gleefully rubbed my hands. "Big Mack Daddy - no, wait - Big Chief No-Tits - no, wait - how about..."

"Everyone look away," Buffy snarled. "Ignore the blood splatter, sound of breaking bones and the screams of terror and pain." She smacked her right fist into her left palm. Katrina arched an eyebrow.