Life as a New Hire Ch. 36

(Dawn)

"You can stop faking being asleep," I whispered in her ear. "I can hear your heart beating and your breathing gaining strength."

"Does it occur to you that that sounds vaguely spooky?" she answered without moving.

"I want to talk with you. Talking 'at' you isn't nearly as fulfilling," I kissed the back of her left ear.

"Wow...," she sighed. "You are really good at this interrelations thing. All the women in your life warned me about this; yet even forearmed, I'm impressed."

"Women are easy to impress," I began. I let that hang there for a few seconds. "Rule #1, don't try to get inside a woman's head. Instead, learn by studying their reactions and build from there." Pause.

"Are you playing me right now?" she inquired softly. Ahh, this morning's first hurdle.

"Yes and no," I treaded carefully. Hana was a savvy businesswoman and that entailed her seeing bullshit as bullshit. "I'm engaging you and that's my genuine desire. Am I using some of my 'girl-friendly' techniques to do so? Yes."

"You are a very dangerous young man," she chided me. "Do you think you might come to love me?"

"Could I? Should I? Would both of us be better off if we avoided falling in love?" I said softly. "I'd like to be in love with you, Hana. I think I'd like it if you were in love with me too. I'd like to be sure we love one another for the right reasons?"

"What would be the right reasons?" she asked after she wiggled around until we were face to face.

"I'm not sure what the right reasons are. I've never been in love. I don't want us to think we've fallen in love out of loneliness and fear," I reasoned. "Obligation isn't going to cut it."

"I'd be foolish to believe that you lying to me would have been better," she smiled. "We both know that outside of business concerns, you are far better with the opposite sex than I am. My problems are," she continued. I knew what she thought her 'problems' were. However, interrupting would have tipped her off that I had gotten inside her defenses. That would have been both cruel and stupid.

"...that I...I know I'm outmatched in this relationship. And that annoys me. I like being in control of my life and my environment, and that doesn't include a twenty-two year old...you. I also know I'm dealing with all the issues of my first, failed marriage." I decided not to lie.

"You forgot one," I stated before I kissed her lightly on the lips.

"What would that be?" she asked, then returned my kiss.

"Every man in your life has to measure up to Jormo," I told her. "He's the standard by which all the rest of us are measured. Dumb-butt Sten failed to live up to your father. We both know that. In a way, even he probably sensed it. He couldn't live up to Jormo and he felt less of a man because of that."

"You are saying that the failure of my marriage was my fault?" she concentrated on my reaction. If she'd been angry and/or insulted, I would have understood. Nine out of ten women would have. Instead, Hana was giving me more respect than any...no, not anymore. I knew more than a double handful of women who respected me now. That was not something I'd ever wanted.

But I was getting a lot of the 'I didn't want this, yet here it is' in my life. Whining about something of value wouldn't help.

"No. I believe you would have stuck it out with Sten if he'd met you half way. He decided he was less than Jormo...when he wasn't -- not initially," I explained.

"He chose to challenge a phantom, an ideal of someone in your mind. That is egocentric thinking. He should have proven to you what a good man Sten could be, started a new chapter in your life and given you a chance to be both Sten's wife and Jormo's daughter," I gave her my opinion.

"Do you think I'm comparing you to my Father?"

"Yes. It is a very human thing to do. I still believe you'll give me a chance to prove I'm the best me you'll ever find," I answered.

"You are a very clever man, Hercege Cáel Nyilas," she purred. Now I was sure she was too good for me. She and Odette both.

"I'm sorry I never met your Mother and Father. You've met Jormo. You should meet the other side of my family as well," she kissed me with a bit more self-assurance. She was checking off the talking points she wanted addressed. "My Mother, brother and half-sisters. They are off-limits, by the way." Way too good for me.

"I make no promises," I kissed her back. "I'll do my best...sometimes I'll need help staying on the straight and narrow. Mom," I sighed. "My Mom is a talk for another time. Father, Ferko Nyilas...he is the best man I've ever known and I never really understood that until he passed. To me, he's my Jormo...just ten times better."

"This argument over who has the better father -- I do -- is over," she kissed me with greater hunger. "Can't we do something else?" Oh Hell Yeah! I knew my Dad was better than hers. I also knew that if I ignored the carnal needs of a beautiful woman in order to argue about something I knew to be true, it would have stigmatized me as an idiot in my Old Man's eyes. I like to think I made him very pleased with me, instead. I know Hana was.