Life as a Slut Ch. 01

I love my brother, but we don't make love. We fuck.

There's a big difference. I tried to fool myself the first time I laid my hands on his dick, that what we were about to do was making love. That all I wanted to do was make this boy whom I had grown up with feel good. That I loved him so much, and I wanted him to feel good.

A half truth, nothing more. I wanted all of the above, but that was miniscule to what I really wanted. As soon as I took his cock in my mouth, felt the smooth head slide against the walls of my cheeks, I knew this wasn't lovemaking.

I had never been with another guy really, not like what I do with my brother anyways. There was once, when I was a little younger and I really liked this boy. He had come over, and we had been dating for a few months. I was blind then. To me dating was holding hands, and sexual contact was restricted to a kiss. But anything with tongue was me "sacrificing" myself for the sake of my boyfriend. I thought I was going far enough, giving him enough with some heavy kissing. I was an idiot.

One night Kyle and I, that was his name, were getting heavy, finally after a night of me playing shy. We were going vertical on the couch, and I realized his hand was creeping up my stomach. I didn't know how it happened, but suddenly he had his dick out, which looked very small and scary in the dark of the basement, and his other hand on my breast. He asked me to touch him, and believe me I wanted to make him happy. But my thumb just glanced off the tip of his dick, and it was over for me. His pre-cum left a gooey strand that seemed to stretch forever as I withdrew my hand in disgust.

I wriggled out from under him, fixing my wrinkled shirt as I got up. I started to cry, and soon the night was over. Kyle was pretty embarrassed, and left after a few mumbled apologies. I nodded and sniffled, but avoided his eyes. I broke up with him by writing him a note which my friend Michelle delivered to him at his locker. I know it sounds stupid. I was eighteen, how could I be so out of touch with sex and anything like it? Well, the times were different then. I hate to date myself, but it was a long time ago.

That was the farthest I had been with a boy, until my brother. In that time, two years, my view on sex was changed, and expanded. I saw a porno a few months after Kyle at a friends sleep over party that really blew my mind. I had always assumed sex was one on one, and this movie was saying quite differently to that. A woman was taken by six men in a garage, and was covered in cum by the end of the clip. The tape had more, lesbians, anal, all of which were very new to me.

I mean, I had heard of orgies, heard of how gays had sex in the butt, but it never clicked with me. Hell, I didn't even really understand what cum was. I knew a guy "put his seed into a woman's womb." This video showed me that a guy's seed was a thick white goo that shot like pee out of him. Made sense I guess, but I thought it was pretty gross. At the time I thought it was gross I should say.

But for months after, the image of that girl being fucked by six men, and swimming in their cum sat with me. I was eighteen the first time I masturbated. It was a late night, and I had been exhausted from my homework. Not that the work was hard, it was that I couldn't focus. I was wearing only a long t-shirt for bed, no underwear. A long t-shirt with no panties was what I had been wearing to bed since I could remember. And no way I could sleep with a bra on. Not that I wore my bra a lot around the house, I had modest breasts at best.

So the night was hot, and I was restless, and that image of the woman in the porn would not get out of my head. What I once thought of as gross was now really getting to me. I was always trying to wrap my head around it. I didn't know anything, and this was too much. That heat was in my groin, and I clenched my thighs. I moved my hand down to push against the top of my pussy (not that I would have called it a pussy then) and my hand felt my moistness for the first time.

I was scared shitless. I quickly got up and went to the washroom that mine and my brothers room shared and inspected myself. Long sticky strands of something came away with my fingers as I spread my pussy apart in the halogen glow of the bathroom. That was also the first time I had really seen my vagina in full force. The lights were bright and white, and while I had seen my slit enough times, the thought of "looking in" was taboo to me. But there I saw in the mirror that little button that if I pressed sometimes in the dark, it would make me feel warm and nice.

My eyes were drawn to it as I held my shirt up to see it perfectly. My other hand went to it, and I grew past my fear of the sticky liquid coming from me, and my forefinger gingerly touched it. Maybe it was the heat that night, maybe I was finally ready, but my senses exploded with delight at my own touch. I leaned against the cold porcelain sink, and started to rub myself a little.

A little turned to a lot, and soon I had to use my chin to pin my shirt up as I needed both hands to work on myself. One hand splayed out and opened the lips to my pussy wide, the other hand slid over my button. Soon my hand was also dipping down to my "hole" and gathering my juices upwards to moisten up my slit. Part of me was in ecstasy, and another part was quite analytical. While I built towards orgasm (though I didn't really understand what that was) I was also figuring out that the liquid that scared me earlier must be the pussy juice my friend Ben loved to talk about so much. Ben always had sayings around the cafeteria table about how he loved pussy juice. I would laugh and call him gross, though I guess I didn't really know what the hell he was talking about.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted as my first orgasm washed through me. My knees buckled and I had to grip the sink to keep from falling. My shirt fell back down over my pussy, and I exhaled deeply. Was that an orgasm? I guessed it was. It would be months before I finally thought with some conviction that what I was doing was masturbating, and what resulted was indeed that orgasm that so many of my friends were talking about.

I stumbled off to bed, feeling a little scared, but also wondrous. It would be over a year and half later that my brother told me that I had woken him up, and he had watched me through the opposite door that leads to his room from the bathroom.

So we fuck. Am I a slut? I don't think I am, but I also talked to a girl named Kay Lee at a party once, and she claimed the same. I found out later that after I had passed out on the couch in the basement, she had been gang banged by three guys from another school in her mom's bedroom. So now I second guess myself.

I continued to masturbate with some frequency as the months ticked by. Sometimes I'd do it twice in a day, but then sometimes I'd go a week or two without. Masturbating for girls is different then for guys. Guys need a steady rhythm; they need orgasms like they need bass in their music. Loud, thumping, and constant. I don't have a good analogy for a girl's orgasm, but it's not the same.

First I had to masturbate only in the bathroom, late at night. I guess it's because that's where it first happened, and it was familiar to the all around experience. But soon I moved out of the bathroom to my bed. I could only masturbate standing up at first also, but the move to my bedroom changed that. I experimented with positions on my bed. I found on my front, with legs spread wide behind me to be the best, though switching it up to my back was a welcome change every so often.

It takes guys anywhere from two minutes to forty five minutes to get their rocks off, but for me I was always a quick cum. I could get off in thirty seconds or less sometimes. I'm not bragging, I know other girls who are the same. But when I'm with a guy (my brother) it takes me longer. Usually ten minutes of hardcore stimulating of my clit to get me off.

But younger more innocent me was very happy to cum quickly, for there was less chance of being caught by my parents or brother. Though once I started masturbating at other times, besides the deep of night, things got scarier. More than once my mother would walk in on me. I would usually hear her in time to push my t-shirt down, and get under the covers with a book off my night stand in my hands before she opened the door. I always swore I'd get a lock on the door to my room like my brother, but I never got around to it.

The lack of a lock on my door though was something I would never regret. Because of it, my brother was getting his peeks at me.

He's older than me by a year, and he's a good guy. Had a few girlfriends, the longest lasting only six months. He later told me the most he had gotten from a girl was a finger fuck. She hadn't touched him though.

So late nights I would pull my t-shirt up and turn over, my face usually half into my pillow. I'd start rubbing, and get wet very quickly, if I wasn't to begin with. Then one night it all changed. I had just started, and was having a good time, when out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw something. My door was slightly ajar. I quickly turned my head away and acted like I hadn't seen. Now my parents were out of town, so the only person I gathered who could have opened that door was my brother. I lay very still, suddenly excited.

My brother. Brad. I had never thought of him like that, but the idea thrilled me. I kept my face hidden in my pillow and continued to rub myself. My small hips bucked upwards and I had to bite the pillow to not scream out my orgasm. The idea that he could have been watching was just so dirty. I couldn't believe that I had gotten off to that.

What was worse was that I wanted more.

I slowly turned my head to see if he was watching, but no one was at the door. I crept out of bed, and made my way into the hallway. The moonlight played across the carpet of the hall, and silhouetted my small form in the night. I got to the end of the hallway, and leaned my ear against my brother's door. I heard him breathing heavily, almost panting. And occasionally there was a noise, or maybe it was my mind playing tricks, but it sounded slick.

I guess I was hoping for the same amount of stealth my brother had used with me, but that wasn't meant to happen it seemed. I lightly urged the door open, my breath caught in my chest. There was a loud squeak of the lower hinge on the door, and my heart almost exploded. My brother's head shot up, and I saw for the first time a fully naked male in the flesh. Our eyes met. My own must have been wide with terror, mirroring his eyes. I remember a strand of my long brown hair falling into my face, but not blocking my eyes.

It all happened in a second. He exhaled the words "Jesus!" then my brother's dick exploded. Thick ropes of cum shot up and over his bare chest. He tried to wrestle with himself as his body convulsed in waves of pleasure, but to no avail. He didn't scream at me to get out, or even cover himself up. I guess he figured what was the point.

Without thinking I fully entered his room and closed the door behind me. "Was that... did you just..." I asked.

He looked me in the eyes for a second, then his glance darted away. "That was... that's what guys do when they..."

I couldn't help but stare at the glistening cum all over his stomach and chest. I had been scared of Kyle's pre-cum so long ago, but the sight of it all over my brother's chest made me wet. The silence was getting awkward, so I did what any girl might have done. I giggled.

"What are you laughing about," he asked with a half smile. "You do it too ya know. I'm only human."

My brother pointing out that I masturbate too was the kicker. I walked over to his bed, doing my best to move my hips a little. I kept my eyes downcast, and let my hair hide my face. I sat at the edge of his bed, and pulled some hair behind my ear, looking at him. He smiled a little, and pointed to the end of his bed where he had a roll of toilet paper. "Could ya help pass me that?"

I smiled and passed him the roll. I watched as he mopped up the drying mess he made on himself. This was all so new, and I was so hot just watching him. I didn't get turned on really by my brother cleaning up his mess; it was the feeling of a kind of sexual freedom. Maybe not a freedom, so much as a new door was open to me. It was one of those doors that had a "Do Not Enter" sign. One of those doors you would love to open, but it's against the rules. Well I had opened that door, and I was through to the other side.

"Can I ask you a question?" I turned at the corner of his bed to face him better. He had finished rolling up the wad of tissue and was putting it in the garbage beside his bed.

Brad looked at me funny, an expression of half guilt, half smile. He knew he should get me out of his room, he knew where this might go. But I could tell by the way he wasn't ushering me out, the way his eyes darted to my bare legs as my t-shirt rode up just so slightly that he was just as curious as I was to where this door lead to.

"Shoot."

"How does it feel? You looked like ... it looked cool." I couldn't help but bite my lip to stop from laughing. I didn't know why I wanted to laugh. I suppose it was just me being a stupid teenager.

My brother pulled himself up a little, and placed his covers over his now rapidly shrinking penis. "Uh, well. It feels really good."

"What do you think about when you do it?" I moved a little up the bed, resting my outer thigh on his calf which lay hidden under the covers.

He blushed then, and I could almost hug him. Except the way my pussy was flaring, it wasn't a hug I was looking for. I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I knew I needed to see how far we could go. "I think of lots of things. Sometimes I look at my magazines, other times I watch sometapes."

"And sometimes you look at me." I couldn't believe I had blurted that out. I covered my mouth, first shocked at myself, then to stifle another stupid laugh.

Brad was taken aback. I think he almost wanted to end our talk there, but I guess his loins thought better. Brad wasn't dumb; he knew where this conversation could go. "Yes I do. Look, I'm really sorry. I think I might have ruined things with you, and I don't want that."

I quickly saw that he was now apologizing, and I was losing my window of opportunity. If he started feeling guilty, his morals get the better of his groin and I'd be out the door with a "Please don't tell mom and dad."

"No! No, don't be sorry Brad." I placed my hand on the top of his thigh, "Its okay. I mean, I just saw you, so we're even."

"Even?"

"Well maybe not even. You've probably watched me couple of times I think."

He took the bait. "More than a couple," he said with a grin.

I faked a slap at his arm, acting mortified, "How dare you!"

He grabbed my hand on the second slap I threw at him, and pulled me close. Suddenly we weren't joking. "You're just so pretty." His breath was warm against my face as he brought me closer. "I think about you all the time."

I was now leaning into him, our faces just inches apart. His other hand came up to one of my breasts, the warmth of his palm spread across me. My nipples were very hard, a mixture of the cool night and the intense heat in me. I was at odds with myself as the cool part of me screamed to end this. Thankfully that part of me is really tiny.

I took my free hand and put it down on his covers, feeling the bulge underneath. I could feel a hardness there, and I was thrilled. My brother started to knead my breast with his hand, and soon he let go of my other hand to gain access to the other breast.

The fabric rubbed against my nipples, his thumb forcing the soft cotton to stimulate my breasts. Soon he needed more and pulled my top off. The moonlight from his window made my skin appear to glow white. I wasn't shy of my body though, and reveled in my nakedness.

My own hand was rubbing at his groin area, but I was still unsure of what I was doing. All the while he stared into my eyes, and I into his. He could tell I was inexperienced, though so was he. But guys seem more confident regarding things such as this. He pulled back the covers, and his cock sprang out. Though he had just cum, it was already up and ready to go again.

My eyes couldn't leave it. My brother went back to feeling my breasts, and even dipped down to play his tongue over one. I shuddered but kept my eyes on his cock. The tip glistened with pre-cum, but I wasn't scared. I laid my hand on the head, and it twitched as if it had a mind of its own. I ran my hand along the shaft, very gently because I wasn't sure how sensitive something like this could be. My fingers moved along the thick vein that ran along the side, and finally I wrapped my hand around it. My brother groaned, his mouth clamped over one of my nipples now.

His tongue on my nipples was driving me crazy, and my hips started to buck at nothing. I need to rub my clit, with either my hand or along something. I'm not sure what compelled me to do so, but I realized now was my time to do all those nasty things I had seen in that porno. I was stroking my brother's cock; we'd already crossed the line of decency.

I pushed him back and placed myself between his legs. He laid his head back on his pillow, and looked down at me. I lowered my head to his penis, but kept my eyes on him. My tongue darted out and I tasted his penis for the first time. It was warm and smooth. A bead of pre cum trickled down the shaft and over my hand. I looked at it, and though the very thought of doing so would have disgusted me before, I lapped it up with my tongue. The salty stickiness coated my tongue, and I smiled. It tasted really good, and I moaned a little.

"How... how is it?" He whispered now, his hands running through my hair.

"It's good. It's actually really good," I said with a smile. A single strand of pre-cum ran from bottom lip to the head of his member. I licked it away, and moved in again. My hand continued to gingerly stroke him, and I moved my mouth over the shaft. I had no idea what I was doing, but I gauged his reaction to what felt good with the way he breathed and moaned. I licked quickly around the head, and he started to moan loudly. That got me really excited and I moved my free hand that had been playing along his stomach to my crotch.. I felt my button through my bush and started to rub like crazy.

I was so wet, my hand was soon covered in my own juice. Finally I wanted to see how much of his dick I could take. I moved my head over the tip of his penis, and slowly lowered myself. I felt the smooth veiny shaft push my lips wide as my mouth conformed to his penis. Inside my tongue licked and slurped on his cock, my hand pumping the shaft. With every couple of pumps of my hand, I tasted more pre-cum. I swallowed it down, and hoped it wouldn't stop.

I felt so dirty, so slutty and it was too much. My fingers found the right spot, and I came as hard as ever. My naked hips pitched and bucked, and I groaned, even though my mouth was stuffed with cock. Then my brother's hands tensed on my head, and I thought something was wrong. Then I felt hot jets of cum explode into my mouth as his thighs tensed up. He lifted his butt off the bed a little and forced my mouth deeper over his shaft. The cum splashed across my tongue and hit the back of my mouth.

Having my brother cum in my mouth was one of the most liberating and just plain awesome things to ever happen to me. I choked and sputtered a little, but tried to swallow what I could. Even then though, a little dribbled from the corner of my mouth.

I got up and smiled at him, my one hand trying to catch the dripping cum from my chin. He smiled a huge grin back at me and lay back with a contented sigh. I quickly walked over to the bathroom to clean up.