Life's Unfair if You're Different

Life became real for me the summer before I started college. I had dated girls in high school even though I felt this strange attraction to guys − especially muscular guys with body hair. I played with a couple of pussies and did not get excited. Pussies seemed dirty and smelled bad.

I began to visit a nearby porn shop − you know the kind: sex toys and videos for sale in the front and little booths in back to view porn videos. The videos I watched were those with gay guys. Watching a guy drop down on his knees in front of muscular stud who was unzipping his fly was a big turn on. It became my favorite fantasy.

There were holes in the walls between booths that I knew were called "glory holes." The first time a hard cock was pushed through a glory hole for me to see I was afraid to touch it. I went home and masturbated fantasizing that I was on my knees playing with an erect dick in a porn shop booth.

The next day I went back to the shop and watched a video and when I got an erection I put it through a hole in the wall. Instantly the guy on the other side grabbed it and began stroking it. Then I felt a hot, wet mouth start to suck me off. In a couple of minutes I pumped my semen into his mouth and as I put my wet dick back in my pants I heard a whispered "Thank you" come from the other booth.

Later on I learned that most guys start that way − getting blowjobs − but if they are true fags in a very short time they are on their knees giving them. I got a couple of books and started to read about gay guys and it was clear that I was gay, a "flaming fairy" as one guy in the book described himself.

Being discovered in the porn shop by someone I knew was what scared me the most. So I was always careful to check out the customers first thing when I went in. Since the shop was close to home it was inevitable that sooner or later I was gonna get caught. And I did! A guy who knew me, Kenny Freeman, came in while I was in back watching a video. I had no way of knowing he was there.

I got caught the first day I sucked a dick! I was really horny and for weeks I had been jacking off fantasizing sucking cock. I had already had over a dozen glory hole blowjobs myself and I was watching a gay porn video when I heard the door to the booth next to me open and close. In a couple of minutes the guy shoved his erection through the glory hole.

It was the most beautiful cock I had ever seen in my life! Uncircumcised, thick with a big blue vein winding down the top, and it was at least eight inches long. I couldn't resist. I took it in my hand and started stroking it. The warm, soft skin slipped easily back and forth over that big, slightly moist, pink-purple head.

It felt so much thicker in my hand than my own dick. This was a MAN'S cock. Mine was just a little peter -- like a boy.

It was irresistible! I had to have it! Just like in my fantasies, I dropped to my knees, peeled back his heavy foreskin and I licked that moist, purple head, running my tongue under his foreskin and around his dick. Damn that thing tasted good. I took it into my mouth and started sucking it.

When the guy began humping I took as much of his dick back in my throat as I could and started tickling it with my tongue. And just like in my fantasies it felt wonderful! My mouth was meant to be a pussy.

I closed my eyes and pumped my head back and fourth matching the rhythm of his humping. It was heaven! Something I had dreamed and fantasized about for years. I wanted to give him pleasure. Suddenly, way before I expected it − way before I wanted him to, he began to ejaculate.

He pumped a massive, hot load. I pushed my head forward and took it back on my tonsils and I did not gag. That strong, masculine, musky taste was delicious. It was the first time I had ever tasted another guy's cum, although I had often tasted my own, fantasizing it was from a stud I'd sucked off.

Feeling squirt after squirt of that thick, heavy stuff pumping into my mouth was the most wonderful feeling I had ever known. It seemed like he spurted out his cum forever. I closed my eyes and eagerly sucked that juice right out of him, swallowing some and slobbering the rest down on my chin.

When he finally stopped pumping that thick jism, I reluctantly let his dick slip out of my mouth. I held that thick load in my mouth, swishing it around and enjoying the taste. Then I breathed out through my nose and that wonderful aroma flooded my senses. I swallowed it in several small swallows, savoring the strong odor and musky taste of his cum. I used my finger to push the cum from my chin into my mouth.

The guy's thick dick was hanging there, slowly getting soft. He pulled his dick back till only the head was left and then he "milked it down" to push all the cum out of his urethra down to the tip of his cock where it formed a beautiful white pearl. I took the head of his dick in my thumb and forefinger and gently licked off that delicious drop and then I kissed his dick and whispered "Thank you" through the glory hole as the stud retrieved it.

I stayed on my knees resting for a few moments feeling grateful to the guy for letting me suck his dick. He had ejaculated! I had pleased him! This was what I was meant to do!

Then I wiped my lips with the back of my hand and got up to leave. I was still savoring that wonderful taste and smell in my mouth and throat as I exited the booth.

I turned and I was suddenly shocked and terrified to see a grinning Kenny Freeman standing there zipping up his fly.

Jesus! Kenny Freeman was in my high school class. He was one of those hairy, muscular studs I had secretly admired from afar.

"I always figured you for a cocksucker, Bobby boy," he said. "That was a damn good blowjob! Your mouth feels just like a pussy."

I panicked and began pleading with him, helplessly.

"Oh my God Kenny don't tell anybody! Please! Please don't tell anybody," I begged shamelessly as tears came to my eyes. I was terrified.

"I don't have a regular cocksucker," he continued, "so I'm gonna use your services, Bobby boy. There's not that much available pussy around here and I'm tired of jacking off. You're gonna be blowing me regular. You understand that?"

I nodded, helplessly.

"You might also have to blow a couple of my buddies. You understand that?"

"No! No! Please don't tell anyone!" I almost shouted.

"Keep your voice down, dammit! Now let's get something straight, Bobby boy. You're a fag! A fairy! A cocksucker! You obviously want to stay in the closet. I own your ass now. We'll be going to college together this fall. I can OUT you any time I want to, but I won't as long as you get down on your knees and suck me off when I tell you to. You got that?"

I nodded weakly.

"Say it," he commanded harshly.

I closed my eyes. I was trapped. I had no choice. Trembling, almost crying I murmured, "I'll suck you off anytime you tell me to. Any time!"

"And my buddies? Say it Bobby," he commanded.

I said softly, "And I'll suck off any of your buddies too."

"That's better," Kenny said, with a chuckle.

The next afternoon I showed up at Kenny's house at two o'clock as he had told me to do. Kenny was wearing blue jeans and a tight fitting tee shirt that showed off his muscles. Wordlessly he led me into his garage where he stood arrogantly, legs spread apart and unzipped his fly.

When his dick came out it was soft but it got hard as he stroked it. It was just as I remembered it the previous day, except that instead of coming out of a glory hole it was coming out of the fly of his jeans and it was framed by a mass of curly, black hair.

It was huge and the veins were prominent. It was thick and long and I knew that big thing would reach all the way back to my tonsils − it had been there yesterday. It stood straight out − hard and proud. I felt my arousal and desire grow intense. I wanted it! I needed it! I had to have it!

Then he said it. He gave that order that I was gonna hear many times in my life. I'd heard it in porn videos, but never up close and personal. It was humiliating and degrading every time I heard it, but it was music to my ears.

"On your knees cocksucker!"

I dropped to my knees in delicious, helpless humiliation. That afternoon it was much better than the first time. I wrapped my arms around his hips locking my hands together on his butt. He showed me the rhythm he liked holding my head in his two hands as he humped. It was just like he was fucking me in the mouth. I was hardly moving my head at all as he pumped that big thing in and out of me.

He was surprisingly gentle. He didn't try to push his dick back past my tonsils, although that big thing would easily have reached the back of my throat. He was friendly and kind to me, which I appreciated very much.

"That's it Bobby boy, that's it! Your mouth feels just like a warm, wet pussy," he said softly, as he fucked me gently in the mouth.

Kenny took his time, later telling me how much he enjoyed a "Long and leisurely blowjob. Slow and gentle."

But suddenly that gentleness changed. When he started to cum, he lost all control! Just seconds before his orgasm began his hands on the back of my head took control. Holding my head tightly and thrusting his hips forcefully, he fucked me hard in the mouth, grunting each time he pumped his hips. His dick slipped back over my tonsils and slammed into the back of my throat with every thrust.

Then he groaned and pumped his load deep against the back of my throat. I was surprised that I didn't choke, but I began to swallow his cum as fast as I could. He held the bulbous head of that fat dick tightly against the back of my throat as he finished his orgasm. I swallowed rapidly and felt my throat muscles grab his cock as though milking out his jism.

Giving that blowjob was everything I had ever imagined it could be. Somehow that big dick felt very natural deep in my throat, like it belonged there. It just filled me up. It was the first time I ever had that sensation − a full-throated pleasure with no gagging. But from then on I felt it every time I took a big one deep − and over the years I have enjoyed a lot of big ones deep.

He kept on holding my head and fucking me in the mouth after he finished ejaculating moving the head of his cock from my tonsils out to my lips and back again, as though in his sexual pleasure he had lost all control. This vigorous thrusting churned up his semen into a foamy, bubbly lather that began to trickle out of my mouth around his dick, and run down to my chin, which was already dripping with saliva. I couldn't control it. It was a noisy, sloppy blowjob!

Finally, he let go of my head, pulled his dick out of my mouth, and stepped back to look down at me. I was on my knees in front of him panting for air. My mouth was open and I knew he could see a big puddle of thick, creamy, white jism on my tongue. A thick, foamy mixture of saliva and semen was dripping from my lips and chin.

One thick, ropey strand, hanging from my chin, slowly dripped down until it finally dropped off onto the floor. Kenny watched it drip down and grinned at me.

I was squeezing a bulging hard-on in my pants, and I knew I would be masturbating the first chance I got. I stared up at him with the helpless, pathetic gratitude of a sated cocksucker. He looked down at me on my knees with foamy cum dripping out of my mouth, covering my lips, and lathering up my face like cream.

My mouth must have looked just like a freshly fucked pussy. I was so excited that I was afraid that I might even ejaculate spontaneously in my pants, like a wet dream, that I was unable to control.

He had used my mouth like a pussy and I had enjoyed every moment of it. I was a cocksucker! I was born to be a cocksucker! I stayed there before him on my knees waiting for his orders. He talked nice to me and taught me the special things that a cocksucker should do after giving a blowjob.

"Milk it down," he commanded, softly.

I crawled forward and took the head of his dick between my left thumb and index finger and placed my right thumb at the base of his cock with two fingers on top. Damn that thing was thick! I squeezed it gently to compress his urethra and stroked out to the head of his dick squeezing the semen out of him to form a beautiful pearl at the tip of his cock.

"Cocksucker's dessert," he said with a chuckle. "Always milk the cum out of a guy's dick so it won't leak into his pants later. It's neater for his jism to be in your mouth than leaking out into his pants."

I enjoyed my dessert.

"Now take out your handkerchief," he said. "You should always carry a clean one."

I took out my handkerchief.

"Dry my dick off and make sure it's clean," he said. "You're a sloppy cocksucker, Bobby. You got cum on your chin and all around your mouth. Remember this! Always clean off the guy's dick before you clean your face. Proper cocksucking etiquette, you know."

"And always wait to see if the guy wants you to put his cock back in his pants. Some guys expect fags to do that. Other guys like me do it ourselves. Understand?"

"Now is the time to say, 'Thank you.' Always do that on your knees and smile when you say it," he said.

I nodded, respectfully, and thanked him. I was pleased that he was teaching me what he wanted. I think he was starting to like me. I certainly liked him.

"You can take your dick out now if you want to and jerk off," he said. "It won't take very long. Catch the juice in your hand."

I did what he said. I pounded my pud rapidly as he was putting that big thing of his back in his pants. I was so sexually aroused that I quickly ejaculated into my left palm.

"Now eat it! Eat your cum," he said. "Always do that if you jerk off. Some studs like to watch you do that. Don't get upset if they laugh at you. It's part of their fun to watch a fag eat his own cum."

I had eaten my cum before when I masturbated alone at home. But it was a sweet humiliation to do it on my knees while he watched and laughed at me. It was a humiliation that I was going to feel many times for the rest of my life.

The next afternoon his parents were away and Kenny took me into his house to the living room. He dropped his jeans and shorts to his ankles, pulled his tee shirt up to reveal a very hairy chest, and sat in his father's big easy chair with his knees spread wide. The back of the chair reclined so he was comfortable, almost lying down.

I trembled with desire as I looked at his body − heavy and muscular with dark, curly pubic hair spreading thickly up on his belly and down on his inner thighs. His chest was covered with dark, wiry, curly hair. That muscular, hairy body was beautiful. His large genitals were hanging loosely in full view.

Damn he looked good! He had huge testicles bulging in a large, wrinkled scrotum hanging down so low that they rested on the leather seat between his hairy thighs. His cock rested his belly and was starting to get hard, but that thick foreskin had not yet pulled back to reveal the purplish-pink, moist, bulbous head.

I was helpless and trembling with desire. Eagerly I dropped to my knees and crawled up between his legs, my hands grasping his muscular thighs.

"Do my balls first," he commanded.

I had seen porn videos of this and I had an idea what he wanted but I wasn't sure exactly how to do it. I cupped his scrotum in my left hand and lifted it up. God! His testicles were heavy! No way could I get both of those big things in my mouth at the same time.

I squeezed the muscles of his thigh with my right hand, and then rubbed upward through his thick pubic hair to his hairy belly − all the while gently massaging his testicles with my left hand. The skin of his scrotum was velvet soft. Damn! His body felt good!

I buried my face in his thick pubic hair at the base of his cock, just at the top of his scrotum, and breathed in deeply that sweet, musky aroma of sweating male genitals. It was the first time I had smelled it, but I was to enjoy that strong, masculine aroma many times in the future. The memory of that moment still turns me on.

Then I took his left testicle between my thumb and forefinger and gently placed it in my mouth tickling it with my tongue. I sucked on it firmly − hard enough to stimulate him but not hard enough to hurt him. I wanted to be very gentle with his balls. I swirled my tongue around on his scrotum licking off the sweat. It tasted delicious.

"That's it Bobby," he said. "Lick that sweat off my balls! Get 'em nice and clean!"

I began work on his other testicle, thinking about the thick jism that I was gonna get to eat. These babies were full! His sweat tasted as good as it smelled. I continued to work my tongue on his scrotum, sucking first one testicle and then the other until that heavy scrotum was dripping with my saliva and completely clean. His cock got harder and harder as I worked on his balls until it was standing straight upright, hard and proud, with his heavy foreskin peeled back to reveal that moist, pink, bulbous head.

Finally he commanded harshly, "Okay Bobby boy, you got me ready. Now blow me cocksucker. Blow me!"

The day before he had held my head and fucked me in the mouth but it was clear that he wanted something quite different today. He was gonna just lay there and make me do all the work. I moved up and took his cock in my mouth, only briefly enjoying that wonderful taste as my tongue swept around under his foreskin.

Then I dropped my head down and took that big dick deep, back to my tonsils. Grasping his lovely muscular thighs firmly, I began to move my head rapidly and vigorously up and down − almost like I was doing push-ups, taking him deep and then sucking hard as I slipped my lips back up his shaft to the tip of his penis.

I tightened my lips and kept my tongue firmly against the bottom of his cock as I moved my head up. Air rushed in as I sucked making a loud sucking sound. Then, loosening my lips, I dropped down swiftly to take that big thing back to my tonsils. Saliva leaked out between my lips and his dick.

The day before he had called me a "sloppy cocksucker" and my performance now certainly justified that compliment. My copious saliva was running down the thick shaft of his cock and dripping down on his balls. The sensation of that huge cock filling my mouth and throat each time I took him deep was wonderful. I felt fulfilled! Again I thought that this was what I was born to do! I was a born cocksucker!

Kenny just laid back and relaxed while I worked up a sweat doing all the work − and I really worked hard to please him. I could tell when he got close because his hips began a very subtle humping motion. Still I was surprised when he suddenly grabbed my head and began pumping vigorously, holding me tightly so the head of his cock slipped over my tonsils and pounded the back of my throat with each thrust.

He grunted as he pumped his ejaculate into me and I swallowed as fast as I could to keep from choking on that gushing semen. It was a long orgasm and a big load and when he finished he lay there breathing hard and relaxing, as his dick slowly got soft.

Without being told, I gently milked him down and enjoyed my dessert. Then I reached into my back pocket for a clean, white handkerchief and gently wiped and dried that big cock and his dripping balls. Finally I wiped his cum off my face and chin with that wet semen-soaked handkerchief.

"Thank you Kenny," I said. "Thank you very much."

"Thank YOU Billy boy," he said. "That was a well done blowjob. Not as good as pussy but a hell of a lot better than jacking off. Pussy is in short supply around here. You're gonna be a busy cocksucker."

I began to suck off Kenny every afternoon and it was always a gratifying experience. Sometimes it was a straight "old fashion" with his dick sticking out of his fly and me on my knees and other times he dropped his pants and sat back so I could lick his balls. His balls always tasted great, especially when they were hot and sweaty.