Lightning Strike

The scent of you still fills my head, the sensation of the textures of you still linger on my hands, my mouth, my skin. The memory of your hands on me, stroking my skin, touching me unexpectedly, bringing me to orgasm when I least expected it. I can't remember the last time a man gave me an orgasm, and that may reflect badly on him, but says so much about you, and maybe me as well.

It amuses me that I have to stand on the last riser of the stairs in order to hug you. I never imagined how handy those stairs would be until you kissed me, and suddenly I was glad of the banister to lean into to keep my newly weakened knees from betraying my arousal. Your hands smoothing over my back and lulling me as your kisses stirred me, this paradox intoxicated me. I wanted to rub against you like a satisfied cat, purring my pleasure at your touch. I leaned back far enough to ask what you were thinking and your voice, low and husky saying "I'm thinking I should lose the shirt," undid me further. A little voice in the back of my head kept insisting 'this has got to be a dream, this can't really be happening, can it?' But it was, so very much. And then leading you to my bed so I could feast further, that is a dream I will be happy to have several times a day, every day.

I hadn't expected to be attracted to you, though you are a very attractive man. I hadn't expected to tell you some of the things I find myself saying to you.

I find myself remembering your eyes, that gleam you have sort of hidden underneath the kind and gentle expression you show most of the time. There is a delicious wickedness there that calls to me, that I find I want to taste all of the time.

But there is a hell of a lot more to it than that. You are sexiest when you are telling me about the books you read and the philosophy you study and the dark places you want to balance and understand. It is this intelligence and vulnerability that draws me, even more than the physicality of this attraction. But then, there are also the waves of energy you spill that are also very enticing, the warm arousal that just hovers around you.

And then I find myself remembering at odd moments in the day what you sound like just before you come, and how you taste sticky and bitter but sweet and how you kiss me after I have swallowed you, so sexy and bold and then how you wrap your long arms over me as I curl into you, glowing with the pleasure we make, glowing in the waves of energy you radiate, glowing in the aftermath of the unexpected.

And I find myself weak in the knees when memory surfaces unexpectedly, early in my morning after you have left for your day and I am lazy and unwilling to rise from sheets that the night before you lay on and let me touch you and taste you and on which you touched me in gifted return. I imagine your scent lingering on my skin.

And I am not saying I haven't wondered what you would be like, wondered what you would sound like, what you might say while my mouth is devouring you by inches, my hands exploring you and stroking you and sliding over the many enticing textures of you.

And I am not saying that I was unaware of you as an attractive member of the opposite sex, because certainly you are and there are friends I have that are so very jealous of my position in your life. Little do they know.

Tactile memory washes over me, tingling my skin and parting my lips with a sigh of abandon. Abandoned to the taste and scent and sound and warmth and slow stroke of your hands and your kiss, oh my gods the way you kiss...

Your mouth on mine is the sweetest sensation, your tongue just pushing my lips open and your hands stroking up my back as you tilt your mouth to a firmer hold on mine. So gentle and so careful.

And I so do not want you to be careful.

I am overcome with want. I want your teeth on my skin, I want your unshaven jaw rubbing between my breasts and on my neck and I want your breath on my ear and I want you talking to me as I taste and touch and discover you, I want to feel possessed and overwhelmed by you, I want. I want. I want you to take the control away that we both are so very careful to maintain, I want to get lost in the exploration, the discovery.

I want you to tell me every deep secret passion and dark want in your heart, your likes and dislikes. I want to know every unfulfilled desire and then I want to wrap them up and hand them to you, gift you with your secrets.

I know what I want and what I want is you.