Limits Ch. 14

There were laughs all round at this.

And then the evening just seemed to drift away. It wasn't long before Sarah and Kathy called for the first taxi and the others followed soon after. Even so it was well gone midnight when a weary Jude led an even wearier Karen up to bed.

And this set the pattern for the following weeks. More and more, as far as police shift patterns allowed, Karen was spending her time with Jude. Friday nights, whenever possible, were spent at the club and later back at the playroom. There was a certain amount of grumbling, notably from Andy and Sarah, about Karen's refusal to join in group activities but it was good natured and they accepted Karen's limits as part of the way she was. Andy's electric shock machine quickly became a favourite, especially when Kathy turned up with a pair of nipple clamps with suitable wires attached. Karen, along with the other subs, soon discovered what it was like to be on the cross or on the dentist whilst the various Dommes played with the voltage levels.

Gradually Karen was growing more comfortable with her new life. She still wasn't "out" in any real sense of the word, but the comfort she found in Jude's arms, whether or not sex was involved, made it increasingly hard to find anything wrong with loving another woman. Similarly, in her more introspective moments, she wondered just how it was that she was accepting more and more a sex life that was so unlike anything she would have dreamed of. Not so very long ago, if you'd have asked her about playing submissive games in a lesbian relationship, she would have called it perverse, sick, abnormal or simply refused to think about it. Now, well, it wasn't just the amazing orgasms, but there was something about submitting to Jude, something about being her sub, where the capitulation was more than just role play and had an almost mystical element.

And it wasn't just in bed that their relationship was maturing. Increasingly Karen wanted to be Jude's wife. Cooking her meals and tending to her needs was fulfilling a need deep within her. She felt wanted, useful, appreciated in a way that she hadn't felt even when her parents were alive; indeed, even when she was acting as Jude's sub, it made a pleasant change not to be taken for granted.

For Jude things were not quite so straightforward. Sure she was fast becoming used to having a 'wife' around the place; Karen's cooking, if nothing else, was a big improvement on what had gone before, but she couldn't help but feel uneasy. Karen kept dropping hints, increasingly heavy hints, that she'd like to... well, not exactly move in, although Jude was sure that Karen would say yes to that in a heartbeat, but that she'd like, well, some cupboard space. Although, on the face of it, this was quite reasonable, Jude felt that Karen simply couldn't understand, it was all too recent, it was all too soon after... well, after Sharon. Letting someone into your house meant letting them further into your life than is safe. Give someone the power to hurt you and pain invariably follows. Much as she liked having Karen around, much as they really seemed to work well together, the scars around her heart were too fresh, too new, too raw. She would stick to her resolve never, ever, to get caught like that again.

And sometimes she felt smothered, suffocated. It seemed to Jude that Karen was foolishly rushing headlong into whatever it was she wanted them to have together. She was always going on about how happy she was and how this happiness all came from Jude. It was all too much, too much responsibility, too much obligation. Karen was always so keen to please that she demanded that Jude make all the decisions. While this was right and proper for a D/s relationship, sometimes it would be nice if... but that would involve opening herself up, laying herself bare.

And then there were the changes in Karen. She was dressing better, holding herself better, even being more assertive. This was changing things. She wasn't the scared little thing she had first met. What had started as a bit of fun with this little mouse had developed into something far, far more complex.

And then, bang in the middle of all this, was the incident in town. She and Karen had gone shopping together and, right in the main concourse of St George's Mall, they had bumped into Karen's sister. All morning Karen had been in a touchy, feely mood and, even as they went round the shops, Karen had insisted on holding hands. Then, as soon as she had spotted her sister, Karen had dropped Jude's hand like it was rancid. She had barely introduced Jude, pushing her into the background and referring to her simply as 'a friend'. Jude was used to those in the closet, but Karen had seemed almost embarrassed at Jude's existence. Karen's sister had mentioned a forthcoming wedding with a 'you'll be there, of course' and, whilst Karen had readily agreed to this, she had in no way suggested that, maybe, Jude might wish to accompany her. For the rest of the day their relationship had been strained. Jude knew that Karen had completely failed to understand how much she had been hurt.

And all the while, in the background, she felt she was getting pressure from the others. Karen's pathetic limits, her refusal to get fully involved, made life difficult, especially as the girls liked a little mix-and-match to liven things up. Andy, in particular, was, as ever, never slow to make her feelings known and phrases such as 'when are you going to get that little sub of yours in line' didn't help much.

Jude, whilst she agreed in many ways, wouldn't break her promise to Karen, so she urged patience upon her friends. Karen was still very new to the lifestyle and expecting her to throw herself headlong into it right from the start was asking a bit much. "Just stay with it for a while," Jude pleaded, "and let her find herself; give it time and she'll come to realise how unreasonable she was being."

With life getting increasingly complex and with the frustrations growing, Jude wondered just why her life revolved around the times Karen came to stay. If only Karen would just relax a bit, if only she would learn to join in, if only she wouldn't run so hot and cold, wanting Jude and her to be more than they were yet refusing to admit the slightest hint of closeness to her family.

So, driven to distraction by this woman who, with her funny little ways had somehow turned her life upside down, Jude simply pushed all decisions off 'till another day, even if, in the small hours of a night shift, the questions returned to trouble her like picked onions eaten in haste.