Lions of Parnatha Ch. 04

"Welcome to the library of the Prime Hall, my lady," Domo Liperion said with a grin, indicating the room with a sweep of his arm.

I sucked in a breath of excitement and bit my lip. The room smelled and tasted like dust and wood and paper, and it thrilled me.

Turning on my heels, I grinned at Gaius, who nodded. "Please don't wander from here without an escort, Lithana. The forum is only mostly safe."

"Do you really think someone would try and kill me here of all places, and in broad daylight?" I asked doubtfully.

Gaius only shrugged. "It has happened before. And I don't worry so much that someone might try and kill you so much as..." Gaius pursed his lips, weighing his words. "You would be better served with an escort," he finally said, nodding slightly with finality. I knew there was little use in arguing with him over it.

I watched the two men depart, talking amiably, and then turned my attention to the soaring walls before me. My eyes traveled up over the books and scrolls, and I felt my stomach jump in anticipation.

I spent the better part of my afternoon browsing the library's resources. I found an impressive collection of prophecies by the priestess Hylara, a slave who had won the heart of a magistrate and converted to the cult of the snake goddess Ulmis, as well as an immaculate copy of Treton's first plays, which I devoured with gusto. The scholars and scribes left me to my own devices, and so long as I didn't bother them or get in the way of their work, we coexisted quite well.

Boredom did manage to eventually set in, and I found my mind wandering from the books in my hands. I didn't really wonder about what Gaius was doing in the forum, nor did I really care. I had always found politics to be dry and dull, and I knew from eavesdropping on his conversations with Aurus that Gaius generally felt much the same. They were a necessary drudgery to achieving greatness, he had said. Instead I found myself staring out the arrow slit windows at the gardens just outside, watching the ant-like people below go about their business. What kinds of lives did they live? I wondered. I knew that most politicians were constantly playing games of intrigue and propaganda for advantage and control over their peers; is this where those games took place? Or was there somewhere else, somewhere hidden, that housed such tournaments? What secrets did this vast hive of human activity hide?

"I am certain you would have a better view of the gardens from a larger window," a voice behind me quipped. I spun around on the bench I was sitting on to face the speaker, one eyebrow piqued.

He was a large man, with dark skin and eyes. There was a headscarf of some kind over his hair, and his clothing was dun colored, like sand. He was standing against one of the tall bookshelves, his arms crossed over his chest and his expression amused.

"There aren't any large windows in here," I said a bit coldly, which was unintended, but I had been startled and immediately set on edge.

"Then you should go outside."

"I... would prefer to stay here," I said slowly, watching him. He was perfectly still, and I was briefly amused by the idea that he would make an excellent statue.

"You aren't a very good liar, my lady."

Something about his voice, the cold, steely tone, made my stomach drop, and I tensed where I sat. "What makes you assume I am lying? I am perfectly content where I am."

The man smirked at me and shook his head. "The length of time you spent staring out the window suggests otherwise."

"You- you've been watching me? For how long?" An uncomfortable tightness had begun to form in my chest, and I was having trouble breathing. I felt stifled, and I desperately wanted to run away from this man.

"Long enough."

I stood slowly, clutching a volume of poetry to my chest. "That isn't proper. My husband will hear of this."

"Oh? Then perhaps you should go tell him."

Oh, I wanted to. This intruder, however, was standing between me and the staircase that led down from this particular balcony. I hesitated, my eyes darting from him and the narrow space I could pass through to escape from him.

"Go ahead, go find your husband," the man said innocuously as he continued to lean against a book case.

I walked slowly toward the dark man, the book I had been holding still clutched tightly to my chest. He turned sideways, allowing me passage, and I squeezed between him and the book case. My shoulder brushed against his chest, and I could feel something very hard beneath his sand colored shirt. My stomach was caught in my throat as I passed him, and I half expected to be dead by the time I reach the balcony's railing.

I was not dead, however, and I blinked in surprise, glancing over my shoulder. The man was still standing where he had been, his gaze boring into me, and I turned and walked quickly down the stairs to the main room. He was still watching me as I deposited my book on an arbitrary table and swept from the library, my heart pounding in my ears.

I didn't stop as I entered the foyer and made straight for the inner courtyard. I silently cursed to myself that I had left without an escort, and that Gaius would certainly be cross. Surely he'll understand the circumstances, I consoled myself. If I had felt threatened, which I certainly had, he would want me to defend myself or get away from the situation.

The courtyard and its gardens were spectacularly well kept, and I slowed my pace as I entered them. A wide fountain bubbled in the center of a very green lawn, and I made my way toward it cautiously, frequently looking over my shoulder for signs of pursuit from the dark man I had met in the library. I was doing exactly this when I suddenly ran into someone, nearly knocking the two of us over. I managed to catch myself as I stammered an apology, glancing up to see who I had almost run over.

There were two aged men before me, both wearing the robes of senators, and they looked rather irritated by my sudden intrusion. I grinned awkwardly as I straightened my robes.

"If I had eyes in the back of my head this probably wouldn't have happened," I quipped, trying to diffuse the situation.

One of the men raised an eyebrow and looked at his fellow, who took a moment to appraise me. His expression was one of barely concealed disgust.

"Are you lost?"

"Er, yes, I am, a bit, sir. I was in the library and then I... Well I'm looking for someone."

"And that would be?" the other man asked coldly.

"Lieutenant general Gaius Artigro," I answered with a cool tone of my own. I didn't take kindly to being treated poorly by anyone, especially people of influence. "Do you know him, or where I may find him?"

"Commander Artigro? I wasn't aware he was in the forum today," one of the men said thoughtfully, looking at his companion. "I also didn't know he was entertaining today," he added with a sly, sideways glance in my direction.

I knit my brow in confusion as the other nodded in agreement. "Indeed, it's rather bold of him actually, bringing someone of your profession to the forum. It isn't really in good taste."

"Of my...profession? What are you talking about?"

"A courtesan," the first man said, looking me over. "I gather the more reputable ones were busy today."

I felt my jaw drop as realization hit me, and my face flushed a bright, angry red. "Are you calling me a whore?"

"No, not at all, that word doesn't apply to what a courtesan does." There was a shared smirk between the men, and I felt my blood begin to boil.

"I'm not a courtesan, sir," I spat between bared teeth. "I am Lady Artigro."

Both men looked momentarily stunned, and they exchanged an awkward expression as I stood fuming at them.

"And I'll have you know," I added angrily, "that courtesan or no, your manner is no better than a pair of drunken sailor assholes on shore leave. It's rather shameful."

"My Lady Artigro," one of the men started, becoming flustered, "while our mistake is regrettable, I find your tone to be hardly appropriate."

"Indeed," the other added. "I wonder what your husband would say about a woman in your position who uses such language."

"He would probably agree with me," I smirked. "I doubt he's worried about the opinions of two wrinkled, saggy old dogs."

Both men went red in the face at that, and after sputtering their outrage over my behavior, they stalked away from me toward another area of the forum.

I chuckled proudly to myself, amused and victorious, until I caught sight of Gaius hurrying toward me from the direction in which the two senators had gone. His face was pale, and his blue eyes were angry.

Steeling myself, I crossed my arms resolutely and lifted my chin, prepared to weather a rebuke.

"What are you doing out here?" he panted as he neared me. "You left the library."

"I had to, there was--"

"And you insulted those two Domo," he interrupted, pointing at the retreating backs of the senators. "Lithana, what were you thinking?"

"I was THINKING, Gaius," I growled loudly, "that I was offended over being called a whore sent here to entertain you, and that those men needed to be put in their place."

Gaius shook his head, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "I understand, Lithana, believe me. They were wrong to call you that, and they were probably just trying to get under your skin. But you cannot speak to a senator like that."

"I'll speak to those pompous jackasses however I please, Gaius. I don't need your permission to defend myself."

Gaius frowned and knit his brows, his face darkening. He stepped very close to me and lowered his voice so that only the two of us could hear. "I don't want to do this in public, Lithana, so I am warning you: do not disobey me again."

As the word 'disobey' rang in my ears, I felt all sense leave me and my rage hit the roof. I took a step back from Gaius, my hands on my hips, and commenced screaming at him. I called him every awful name I could think of, some of them in other languages I had learned from my brothers and the maiden's home, and railed against him in the worst possible way. I was so absorbed in my tirade that I didn't notice people begin to gather in the courtyard, wondering what was happening.

Gaius, however, did notice, and his face grew redder and redder the louder I ranted. I was reaching a feverish pitch when he suddenly roared, "ENOUGH!", stunning me into silence. Grabbing my arm, he pulled me to him and, motioning to the gathering crowd with his chin, growled, "I will not have you disrespect me like this in front of the entire forum."

"Are you angry with your little wife?" I taunted, trying to pull away from him.

"Yes, Lithana. But I am mostly ashamed for you."

He let me go then, and I stumbled backward a few feet as I stared at him. All anger had suddenly faded from me as shock made its presence known in my mind. I continued to stare at Gaius as he took a few steps away from me, his face a mixture of rage and sadness. Setting his jaw, he turned and walked away from me toward a smaller building. I watched him go for a moment before following him. I didn't look left or right, but I didn't need to; I could feel the eyes of spectators devouring me.

Gaius didn't turn to face me when I entered the smaller building after him. He paused for a long moment, his gaze fixed resolutely ahead of him. When he finally did speak, he sounded defeated. "I don't know what to do anymore," he said quietly after a long while. "Everything I have done for you is to protect you from a world you hardly know."

"Gaius...I--"

"This isn't a fantasy," Gaius continued, turning to face me. "This is all real. This place is real. The Empire is real. People's lives are gambled with here. One foolish step can cost you everything you have. I cannot afford to look like a fool here." I stayed quiet; I didn't know what to say to that.

"What do you want from me, Lithana?" Gaius asked, his voice strained. "Is living with me so horrible? Do you want your freedom so badly that you'll destroy me to attain it?"

I stared in horrified fascination at him, unable to move or blink. "I didn't know... I didn't think I was being..." I spun in place, my mind racing. What could I possibly say to that question? "I'm not meek, I'm not subservient, I'm not the perfect little wife, Gaius."

"I never asked you to be. I chose you because of what I knew of you, because of who you were in that garden. I chose you because I wanted to fall in love with you."

A lump rose in my throat, and I felt hot tears spring to my eyes. Gaius radiated anguish, as though I had physically injured him, and he shook his head slowly, drawing back from me.

"I had hoped you may be able to do the same," he finally added quietly, not deigning to look at me. "I'm beginning to believe I made a grave mistake."

A mistake? I stumbled backward, clutching my diaphragm and swallowing hard, desperately trying not to vomit. Was I mistake? Had I made his life so miserable that he now regretted his decision to marry me? Vienes' words suddenly sprang to my mind, and I choked back a sob as I realized just exactly what I had done.

You won, a voice in the back of my mind chimed in. You set out to free yourself from him, to fend him off at every turn and make him hate you. And you have done just that. You are getting what you wanted.

Gaius had been watching me as my mind raced, and he asked quietly, "What do you want, Lithana?"

What did I want?

"I don't know, Gaius," I said softly, shaking my head and shrugging my shoulders. "I don't know anymore." I crossed my arms tightly, hugging my torso, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. "I want to go home," I said, my voice breaking.

"Where is home for you?" Gaius asked.

I stared at him as I felt tears begin to slide down my cheeks and collect on my jaw. He had asked a valid question to which I did not have the answers, and I suddenly felt extremely alone. I could only shrug again, and Gaius nodded.

"We will return to the estate then."

I nodded dully, and followed him from the small building, through the courtyards where people still mingled and whispered, and through the Prime Hall to the waiting driveways beyond. Our carriage was already there, the tethered horses snorting and pawing in boredom. I climbed into the carriage and Gaius followed me, giving the driver the order to leave, and I stared out the small window in silence the entire drive through the city to the estate, my heart torn apart between what I had wanted and what I had done to accomplish it.

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"I don't pay you to make social calls. You're a Hashir, so do what they do."

The dark man shook his head, smirking at the smaller Parnathan man in front of him. He was leaning forward on his desk, his elbows propped on the surface and his hands clasped before his face, glaring. This caused the dark man to chuckle; if this pallid offal that called himself a man thought he could intimidate one such as he, then he was sorely mistaken.

"You are paying me to kill my quarry, but you do not have jurisdiction over how I operate," he replied smoothly. "Surely a domo such as yourself can appreciate careful preparation."

The domo snorted, leaning back in his chair. "You have had more than ample opportunities to see this done, and you haven't taken a single one. You even let his little bitch for a wife get away from you."

"Domo Fionus, you are worried about nothing."

"Nothing?!" Springing to his feet, Domo Fionus pounded his fists on his desk. "The longer you stall, the longer we must wait to enact the rest of our plan! And the longer we wait, the greater the chance for discovery! This is an extremely delicate matter, and your fun and games are interfering in our operation!"

"Your operation? You mean your attempted coup to usurp the divine rule of the Emperor?" There was a malicious amusement in the Hashir's voice, and he barked a short laugh as he grinned at the fuming domo. "Do you really think that killing lieutenant general Artigro is going to ensure your chances of success?"

"It will certainly improve them," Domo Fionus growled in response.

"It never occurred to you to use him to your advantage, has it?"

Domo Fionus wrinkled his brow in confused frustration. "Use him to our advantage? He would run us all through if he knew what we have planned." Narrowing his eyes, the aged senator eyed the large dark with suspicion. "What would a Hashir care of our plans so long as he gets paid for his part in them?"

"Your plans are not completely your own," the Hashir responded. "My masters have vested interest in your success."

"And who are they?"

"No one you need concern yourself with, Fionus," a different voice announced, and both the Hashir and domo turned to regard the newcomer.

"D-Domo! I-I wasn't expecting you--"

"Oh bite your tongue, Fionus, you're pathetic and useless. I'm taking your place as the Hashir's liaison, since clearly you lack the mental fortitude to understand just exactly what we are doing." Domo Fionus sputtered in protest, but the newcomer interrupted him by pointing at the door. "The Cleric wants to speak with you. He is in a foul mood, so were I you, I wouldn't make him wait."

The color draining from his face, Domo Fionus nodded, quickly excusing himself from the room. The Hashir watched him leave before turning his attention to the newcomer, who had seated himself at the domo's desk.

"I gather you received my letter then, Domo Liperion."

"I did, and I'm intrigued. You have plans for my dear friend the lieutenant general then?" The Hashir nodded, and Domo Liperion's lips curled into a cruel grin. "I would love to hear them."

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I sniffled and wiped my eyes as I paced restlessly in the hallway outside of Gaius' office. He wasn't there, in fact I didn't know where he was, and I was doing my absolute best not to panic.

Upon arriving home, I had rushed to my chambers, where I had fallen into Vienes' arms and sobbed, telling her everything that had happened at the forum. She had been right, I had succeeded in driving Gaius away from me, and now I didn't know what to do. I was hysterical, unable to speak clearly between sobs, and I clung to her desperately as she stroked my hair and back, doing her best to soothe me. She managed to detach herself from me long enough to draw me a bath, and then bade that I soak as long as I needed.

The water had calmed me, and I was finally able to focus on what had happened. I played that afternoon over and over again in my mind as my fingers and toes pruned in the water, trying to decide if I had indeed destroyed everything beyond repair. When I grew frustrated enough and my bath water became lukewarm, I rose and sought the comfort of my bed.

"You must speak with him," Vienes had insisted. "You must tell him what you want."

"I don't know what I want," I mumbled in return. "I thought I did, clearly, but now I'm completely lost." Sniffling miserably, I added, "Why would he want to speak to me anyway, after how I've treated him? I've hurt him."

"Then you must apologize, at the very least. Either way, you must go to him."

She was right, I had grudgingly admitted. I finally dressed myself and, after much self-encouragement, left my quarters in search of Gaius.

And now I paced restlessly before his office, wondering dejectedly where he was and what I was going to do when I finally did speak with him. I didn't even know where to begin.

"...I'm ashamed for you." His words echoed in my mind, and I shook my head fiercely to deter any more tears from springing to my eyes. "I'm ashamed for myself," I murmured quietly.

"Lithana?"

I spun around at the sound of his voice saying my name, and my heart dropped into my stomach at the sight of him. Gaius was dressed in a simple kilt and toga, his skin glistening with sweat and his knuckles reddened and bruising. I recognized the patterns of the redness and knew he had been boxing. I shuddered a sigh as he came toward me and crossed my arms reflexively.