Lions of Parnatha Ch. 04

"What...what are you doing here?"

"I came to speak with you," I stammered awkwardly. "I didn't know where to find you."

"I see." There was a long, tense pause, and Gaius finally sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. "Come in, then?"

I nodded, and he led the way into his office.

I gazed around me as I walked slowly through what was obviously this man's most private space. It was quite cluttered, bookshelves lining the walls where there were not already maps. Books and scrolls were piled haphazardly on tables and chairs, and various technical artifacts and instruments sat in dusty corners, seemingly forgotten.

Gaius walked slowly to his desk, where he made a show of shuffling papers and rearranging the clutter. I watched him for a moment, wondering how I would begin this conversation and what I would say.

Gaius, however, stole any initiative I may have been working up. "Do you want me to release you, Lithana?"

"Do I what?"

"I asked if you want me to release you." He turned to face me and leaned back against his desk, his arms crossed over his chest. "If it is your freedom you desire so strongly, I will not begrudge you that."

I blinked, dumbfounded. Had this proud, noble commander really just offered me a divorce?

"I don't understand," I mumbled, shaking my head.

Gaius shifted, watching me. "You told me the day I met you that you had no wish to marry, that you would fight any match with all your being. I thought at the beginning that I might be able to win your heart, that you and I might..." He shook his head, dropping his gaze to the floor. "I see now how wrong I was."

"No, Gaius, I was wrong," I replied softly. My heart was pounding in my ears, but a kind of clarity had finally found its way into my mind, and I was determined to use it for as long as it remained there. I sighed and cleared my throat, settling my gaze squarely on the man before me.

"When I was given the declaration, I was horrified. I had done everything I could to assure that I would never be chosen, building walls around myself and running from anyone who may have wanted to show me affection. And in the end I failed. I resolved myself to be as absolutely contrary to whatever asshole had dared to enslave me, as I saw it. I didn't realize that it was you." I took a few tentative steps toward Gaius, watching his face closely. His jaw was set, but I continued anyway. "That day, in the garden, meeting you had been a happy accident, I thought. I didn't know you as what you actually are, I only knew you as a man. So when you were revealed to me on the day of the ceremony, I felt betrayed, and I harbored bitterness in my heart. I didn't know how I could possibly trust you, after what you had done to me."

I paused again, trying to gather my thoughts. I didn't want to misspeak or misrepresent what I was trying to tell him, even if I didn't really even know what that was. Gaius just continued to watch me. "You have to understand that I never chose any of this, Gaius. I was forced from my home by someone I hated, and forced to learn to be something I never wanted to be. I was forced into marriage. That bitterness has been deep and wide, and though it is unfair to you, I've directed it at you. And in the beginning, had you let me go then, I probably would have accepted your offer."

Gaius blinked and swallowed, knitting his brows. "And now?"

I shook my head. "I don't know anymore. I don't think I can. I don't want to." I took a few more tentative steps toward him, until I was just a foot from where he leaned against his desk. "I want you to understand that I'm stubborn and short sighted and easily angered, so when I say this, it is not done lightly: I want to stay here with you. I want to redeem myself to you."

Gaius frowned. "Why? What happened to change your mind about me?"

"I was afraid of you, of what you would force me to be," I explained. "But I realize that I have only acted out of fear. I can't keep living like that. I don't want to be afraid anymore."

Gaius uncrossed his arms, placing his hands gently on my shoulders. "I'm only a man, Lithana. Whatever title I carry, whatever my family name, I am and have always been only a man. I only ever wanted you to be happy with me." There was an honest kindness in his eyes, and it brought a hard lump to my throat.

"I'm sorry, Gaius. I'm so sorry..." I sniffled again and rubbed my nose, angry that tears threatened my eyes again.

Gaius raised his hands to my face, running his thumbs over my cheeks and lifting my face to his. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, and smiled. "I need you to trust me, Lithana." I opened my mouth to respond, but he placed two fingers on my lips to silence me. "I know you don't think you have any reason to do so, but I promise you that I don't mean you any harm. When I say that I was drawn to you because of who you are, it is the truth. I need you to believe that."

He was right, the idea of throwing off my cloud of suspicion and self-defense made me uneasy. But I knew that, if I wanted to remain here, with him, I would have to learn to trust in him. Nodding slightly, I murmured, "I'll do my best."

Gaius smiled again and kissed me tentatively. His lips lingered on mine, and I kissed him back, my hands running up the length of his arms to his shoulders. His skin was smooth beneath my hands, the muscles of his neck and shoulders solid and defined. My fingers continued their path until they found the nape of his neck, and I tangled them in his hair. I felt his skin shiver beneath my touch, and I grinned slightly, enjoying his reaction.

Gaius was grinning as well, and he slid his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against him. He placed light kisses across my cheeks to my ears, and then down my neck to my shoulders and collar bone, his strong hands running the length of my back. I could feel that familiar heat rising from my abdomen, and I moaned softly at his touch. I could feel his own lust in the tension of his arms and stomach, and it drove me to distraction.

I took a step back from him then, raising my hands to the knot at the back of my neck that held my shift in place on my chest. I fumbled with it awkwardly, finally managing to free the cloth ties as I watched Gaius' face. His expression was somewhere between pained and hungry, and his bright blue eyes stared at me as I lowered the front of my shift to expose my small breasts. Letting go of the ties, I let the shift fall about my waist, standing in awkward shyness as the cool night air chilled my skin and made my nipples stand erect.

Gaius raised a careful hand to my shoulder, tracing the lines of my skin from my upper arm down to the curve of my breast, and then down my stomach and across to my waist and hip. I could see the lust in his eyes, his gaze practically devouring my body, even as he held himself in check. He lowered his mouth to my ear, kissing and nibbling the lobe and my jawline while stroking my torso and back with his hands.

"Is this what you want?" he asked in a heady voice that was thick with desire.

"Yes," I answered breathily, pressing myself against him. "I want this, Gaius. I want you."

That was all the permission he needed. Taking my face in his hands, Gaius captured my mouth with his own. I slid my arms around his neck and held him close to me, even as his hands left my face and found their way around my waist and back. Our lips locked tight, we dueled through that kiss for what seemed like eternity, and when we finally did part for lack of oxygen, Gaius lifted me and carried me to an old chaise in the corner of his office near a window. He lay me on it gently, holding his own body aloft over mine as he crawled over me. I felt one of his hands begin to hike my shift up above my thighs, and my body tensed, doubt rearing its head.

Gaius must have sensed my trepidation, for he kissed me gently and whispered reassurances against my neck as his mouth traveled slowly down to my breasts. He kissed each one lovingly before taking one of my nipples into his mouth, holding it between his teeth. I arched my back and moaned as his tongue began to flick it back and forth, sending shock waves of pleasure coursing through me. I gripped at his hair and shoulders as he worked my nipple, and I could feel heat beginning to emanate from my thighs and center.

Gaius continued to slide my shift up over my thighs as his tongue lavished attention on my breasts, and I trembled when his rough fingers slid over my inner thighs to the mound of hair between my legs. He looked up at me briefly and offered a small smile as he stroked around my pussy, saying softly, "I won't hurt you, Lithana. Do you want me to continue?"

I nodded slightly, unsure if I truly did, but unwilling to sacrifice the ecstasy that was building in my veins. Gaius nodded and pressed his fingers against my clit, rubbing gently. I groaned and threw my head backward, my hands gripping at him and the chaise as he teased me. He chuckled in satisfaction at my reaction and brought his mouth to mine, kissing me deeply as his fingers flicked and rubbed my clit and pussy. I could feel wetness building there, and I tried to squirm away from him in embarrassment.

"What's wrong?" Gaius asked, and I whined about the wetness. He only smiled and said, "I'm glad you're getting wet there. It's supposed to happen."

"It is? Why?" I asked in astonishment. I couldn't fathom any reason why my pussy should be wet at his touch, and I found it disturbing.

"It... It makes sex more pleasurable," Gaius explained slowly, trying to find the right words. "If a woman is dry, sex can be painful."

I felt myself blush at my own ignorance and stammered an apology, but Gaius only laughed and told me not to worry about it. I decided to take his advice and asked him to continue touching me, which he did happily. His mouth and his fingers continued to work me into a frenzy, until my hips were bucking with every stroke and I was arching my back into him. As the pleasure built in me, I realized I could feel his hard length beneath his kilt pressing against my leg. On impulse, I slid my hands under his kilt and wrapped them around it, stroking him in a similar manner.

Gaius shuddered and groaned deeply, a sound which sent a thrill through my body, and I grinned wickedly at his reaction. His fingers began to stroke my clit and pussy harder, and I strengthened my grip around his cock in return, until the two of us were grinding against one another in desperation.

Gaius settled himself between my legs and took his cock in one hand, pressing the tip of it against the wetness of my pussy. I bit my lip and threw my head back, moaning loudly.

"I don't want to make you do--" he was saying, but I interrupted him when I begged him to be inside me. Gaius sucked in a breath and nodded, pressing the tip of his penis harder against my pussy. "This will probably hurt a little," he warned me, and he gently thrust his hips forward.

I was wholly unprepared for the burning sensation that spread throughout my lower body, and I cried out while placing my hands against his chest to stop him. He stopped immediately and kissed my face, apologizing profusely for the pain.

"Is it supposed to hurt like that?" I winced.

Gaius nodded. "For most women, yes, it does hurt like that the first time." He took a moment to consider me as I ran my fingernails over his chest and arms. "We don't have to do this right now."

"No, I-I want to. It's fine." Gaius didn't looked convinced, so I kissed him soundly, one of my hands playing with the head of his cock. "Just be gentle."

He nodded and set himself against my pussy again, slowly thrusting into me. I shut my eyes tightly as the burning sensation intensified, my teeth sinking into my lower lip.

"Try to relax, Lithana," Gaius reassured me while stroking my forehead and placing gentle kisses on my face and neck.

I huffed in a huge breath and let it out slowly, doing as he said. It felt as though someone were impaling me, and I could feel an uncomfortable stretch as he slid himself home inside me. When his cock was fully in, Gaius let it go and braced himself against the chaise. "I'll go slowly," he said softly, and he began to gently pump his hips.

I wanted to cry at first, it was so painful. Every thrust felt like I was being stretched apart, and I struggled to keep my body relaxed and open to him. Gaius lowered one of his hands to my clit again, gently stroking its head as he moved in and out of me, while lowering his mouth to my nipples. Gradually, the pain began to be replaced by a deeper pleasure than I had known was possible, and I abandoned myself to it.

Gaius thrust his hips faster and deeper, his thighs colliding with my own, and I could feel my breasts bouncing up and down with each movement. I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him deeper access to me, and bit my lip as he worked in me.

Our bodies writhed against one another, our hips grinding in an awkward unison as we both sought more and more pleasure from each other. I pressed my heels into Gaius' butt and lower back, forcing him harder and harder into me, and he responded with gusto, wrapping one hand around my ass as he drove himself into me. My mouth fell open while little moans and screams erupted from my throat, mingling with Gaius' deep grunts. I could feel an indescribable tingling sensation building in my pussy and radiating outward, and I suddenly cried out as it burst forth through me, seeming to extend past my body and into the room. My pussy pulsated with my orgasm, and I rocked my hips in time with it, riding its waves for as long as I could.

Gaius watched me climax with a grin and then groaned loudly, his grip on my ass tightening as he came. I could feel the pulse of his cock as he shot into me, his sticky wetness mingling with my own, and I closed my eyes in revelry at the sensation.

Gaius shuddered above me and slowly lowered himself onto me, resting his forehead against mine. We were both panting hard, and covered in sweat. The room smelled musky with the scent of lust and sex as it mingled with the dusty smells of books and leather.

Cupping my face in his, Gaius kissed me gently, and I looked up into his face. His bright blue eyes were searching mine, looking for some sign of approval or affection, anything other than the malice I had directed at him for so long.

I smiled broadly and returned his kiss, moving a lock of hair out of his eyes and behind his ear. "Thank you," I said softly.

"For what?" Gaius grinned as he gazed at me, stroking the side of my face.

"For giving me a second chance."

He chuckled. "I figured you deserved one if you desired to give me a chance at all."

I giggled and kissed him deeply, tangling my fingers in his hair. "I'm quite glad that I did."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dark man stood absolutely still, his chest hardly rising or falling as he breathed. From where he watched in the shadows, he could see his quarry perfectly. The old man and his wife had just come home from a dinner party, and they were laughing and talking happily as they discarded their finery and readied themselves for bed. They had only bothered to light one lamp; it was a boon for him. They had no idea that he was watching them from a corner of their own bedroom.

He waited for them to undress and climb into bed, listening for the sounds of sleep. When their breathing had evened, and he was certain they were asleep, he crept forward, drawing a long scimitar with barely a sound. Towering over them, he offered a quick prayer to Xanara and plunged the scimitar down into the bed one, two, five, ten times. When he was done, he paused to examine the blood left on his blade. It was dark in the moonlight, glistening with inky blackness, and he raised it to his lips, tasting it with his tongue. Smiling in satisfaction, he wiped the remainder of it on the bed's ruined silk coverlet and then removed a small copper medallion from the sash around his waist. Smudging it with blood, he dropped it to the floor, where it rolled a short distance beneath the bed. And then he turned and left the room, his presence as untraceable as the shadows on the walls.