Little Brother

So we went on, Andrew blissfully unaware of the relationship that now existed between Gordon and I, although to be accurate, it was a relationship that had existed since our childhood, and one that we had tried to deny.

Poor Andrew did not get his son this time; he got a daughter, Rachel. She had none of Andrew's features, but fortunately, Gordon and I shared many facial traits in common like colouring, nose and mouth and so on.

"She looks just like you," was Andrew's disgruntled comment.

Gordon and I went on with our guilty relationship. Guilty because it was the double offence of incest and adultery. Despite Gordon's pleadings that I leave Andrew and set up house with him, I could not bring myself to do this. Nor could I bring myself to tell Andrew about the paternity of Rachel.

Things became difficult when I got pregnant for a second time. We only had three bedrooms, all of them occupied, and the coming child would need a room.

Gordon overcame this by offering to have an extension built at his own expense that he would live in.

Andrew said, "He must like living here for some reason. Still, he does pay his way and doesn't interfere. You know, I wonder about Gordon. He never seems to go out with girls these days; do you think he's discovered he's gay? Then he doesn't go out much at all except to play cricket. Do you think he'll ever get married?"

I replied carefully, "I don't think he's gay, and he's probably the confirmed bachelor type."

I gave birth to "Gareth," and again Andrew said, "He looks just like you. Must be some strong genes in your family."

Gordon was obviously very sexually potent, and although I would have loved to have more babies with him, I decided that it was safer to stop, so I went on the pill.

As I write, ten years after Gordon came to live with Andrew and I, Gordon and I are still lovers. Andrew seemed to lose whatever interest he had in sex after I gave birth to Gareth, which took a bit of the guilt out of my relationship with Gordon.

It is a strange thing, but the children seem to relate better with "Uncle" Gordon, than they do with their supposed father, Andrew. Sometimes I think they instinctively know who their real father is.

From time to time, I get a feeling that Andrew knows that Gordon and I have a stronger bond than most brothers and sisters. He never says anything, but he does still wonder occasionally why Gordon still lives with us, and asks, "Can you think what the attraction is?"