Living Heart Ch. 02bycawastedyouth©
I heard Grace's sobs for me as I lay in my coffin deep in my darkened apartment. My heart ached for her agony. As promised though, I sent her my heart in my stead. It would calm her for a moment and then someone would brush against her and frighten her in the crowded city street. She'd murmur to herself: 'If Angel were here, I'd not feel so frightened.' Just by thinking my name, she woke me from my trance. I was obligated by my promise to at least touch her telepathically.
It was harder than I had ever imagined, allowing my heart to stand in for someone else's broken one. It was an act that required me to think about Grace every second when I should have been resting. A sacrifice I could have rather done with out as my hunger had doubled slowly over this last month.
I glanced at the memory of her face as the sun began to set; I was not quite ready to emerge from the confines of my coffin. Her sad eyes lingered, longing for the vision of me to reassure her in person. The image burned in my mind.
As soon as the sun went down, I arose, my black cloak all around my naked body. I brushed it off my shoulders and closed my coffin, my thoughts focusing on my careful choice of what I was going to wear to see Grace again.
The cooling air of the night swirled around my pale body. Just thinking about Grace all day had made my body react in ways I had long forgotten. My nipples hardened and between my legs, the undeniable dewy moisture lingered. Sex. Not the smell that came after a tawdry night of sweat and heavy breathing, but the arousal scent that drew two beings together in frenzied desire. I clenched my buttocks in frustration and selected a lacy black bra to cradle my breasts hiding the arousal of my nipples.
'Angel, where are you?'
'I'm coming Grace.' I reassured her.
'Where do you want to meet? At the club again?' she fretted and it drew a smile to my lips. She opened up her mind to me. I saw her frantically running around her apartment, nearly skipping in happiness.
'No, somewhere different.' I insisted. I chose a black linen blouse that pressed itself against my body tracing every curve from the waist up. I washed my hands and then ran my wet fingers through my hair allowing the short ends to get a little ruffled. As I dried my hands, I considered a pair of jeans that slung low across my hips.
I pulled the pair on and slipped my feet into a pair of leather boots. 'Go to the café at the end of the street where you live. I'll be there.' I assured her.
I was waiting for her perched gently on a wrought iron streetlight across the street from the café. I watched her enter, unsure of why she was there, looking as if she had lost something. Though all day she had been open to me evoking my name as her protector, Grace had no real conscious connection to the idea that we had been together all day. Nervously, she sat down and clutched her ivory leather purse in both hands while chewing on her lip. I dared now to pull my senses away from Grace.
Several couples were already there inside, chatting endlessly. The smell of food wafted from every open grill or door of this cozy establishment. I twitched at the thought of a little garlic burning my mouth, but that wasn't enough to keep me from the ethereal vision of Grace sitting on the varnished oak bench. I finally twisted my way down the long upright that allowed the streetlight to look so stately and elegant. With one last tug at my shirt, I gently entered the café, smiling as I caught Grace's attention. It took her a moment, but I stood at the door watching her for that moment, caught in surprise. She was a beautiful vision in the light blue gray dress. It had no sleeves, and allowed me to see a hint of her cleavage. I nearly drooled on the spot lost in my own fantasy.
"Angel!" she was surprised to see me and stood up, gathering her pocket book. "I don't know why I came here, but I felt I would see you. All day, I've thought of you and it was like you were with me." I opened my arms and hugged her tightly.
"I hoped I would get to see you." I said, nonchalantly clearing my throat as the waiter came to guide us to a private booth far away from the other couples. I waited for Grace to take her seat as she ran a hand under her bottom to fold her skirt comfortably. I took the seat across from her, lavishing the red leather seats and the yellowed candlelight.
I dismissed the menus as they were laid in front of us and asked, "How was your day?"
"It was okay, but you stayed on my mind all day long and I don't know why." She shrugged, "We just met once yesterday."
I reached across the table to stop her fidgeting with her hands and caressed the back of her right hand with my thumb.
"You've been on my mind as well Grace." Grace's hand jerked away from mine in surprise, but it was quickly suppressed as a waiter came and placed glasses of water in front of us and a plate of bread with a small bowl of garlic butter.
"Can I start you off with any of our specials today?" The poor boy, probably no more than twenty, oozed in trained customer service with his wide smile.
I handed the menus to him. "Bring us a half carafe of your house red wine, we'll start with a tossed salad, mustard vinaigrette on the side, and for the main dish an order of your gnocchi in your marinara sauce, no garlic."
The boy frantically scribbled down my order, slid away to go locate our wine and give our order to the chef. Grace seemed to have shrunk away, no longer looking at me.
"Was that all right?" I asked. "I can get him back; you can order what you like," I stammered uselessly. I didn't want the next forty minutes to be nothing but silence between us.
She smiled to herself, a private joke. "You ordered for me. No one has done that since I was a small child."
"Well, there's nothing about you that is still a small child," I said softly.
The wine was presented and as were two wine goblets. Our server poured the first half glass.
"Please, take a slice of bread," I said as I took a sip of wine, allowing the rich texture of the wine to dance across my tongue.
"I noticed you didn't order garlic," She said looking rather wistfully at the butter.
"If you like it, please don't let me stop you. I just have found that garlic doesn't really agree with me." My mouth twitched. There was a distant time when garlic and I were nearly fused.
Angel took a slice of bread then parted her pink, shimmering lips and allowed the bread to break between her teeth.
"Sourdough." She said with a smile.
I returned her smile. I lost myself in the thought of her smile, her personality of a bubby vivacious woman shone through without a tremor of hesitation allowing me to see her soul freely.
"How did you find out you're gay?" she asked.
I had seen the question forming in her mind so I was able to answer her. "I've known I'm gay for a very long time. It took me by surprise, but I found that I wanted women very badly." I sugarcoated my past for her. I ran my finger slowly over the rim of my wine glass.
I thought about the memory and kept talking. "I found myself wanting a woman I knew nothing about, Grace. She was worldly, beautiful, and she chose me to impart her sexual wisdom."
"Is it all that different?" Grace asked me, her eyes wide in imagination. She had seen my memory of my first sexual encounter.
I mused my answer. "A woman is very different. She knows how you yearn. She will wait for your arousal and she teases the very parts of your body that only you know about."
I could see Grace squirm uncomfortably at my frank comments about sex. "Still shy?" I teased softly. Grace's flush and then her bluster that followed denied her words.
"No, I've just never heard anyone speak so bluntly about sex before. That's all." I mused to myself that perhaps there was a kernel of truth to Grace's words, but I saw in her mind a flash of a memory. Grace had no control over her thoughts, so I stayed away. I would only find her memories that she openly shared with me.
I took another sip of wine. 'If Grace can see into my memories so easily when we are together, I will have to be more careful.'
"Why were you at the club last night?" I asked.
I watched her shoulders drop. "I thought if I could just go somewhere with lots of lesbians, I'd find someone. I went to the first club that I heard from this chat room. It sounded promising that there would be a wide variety of women for me to get to know."
"And you went by yourself?"
I couldn't hold back my curiosity any more. "Did you meet her there?"
Her eyes darkened with regret. I reached for her hand to try and comfort her. I regretted my questions.
Her eyes grew wide and looked at me for a moment. "Did you bring one?"
I arched my right eyebrow. "Bring a what?"
"A U-Haul." She asked.
It took me a moment and then I laughed. "Sweeting, no."
After I recovered I spoke up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh at you. I just didn't think you wanted someone to move in right away."
"No, I don't, but it was a generalization that I thought was true." She looked horribly embarrassed.
"Well, generalizations don't exist without a kernel of truth. I'm sure there are some women who need a U-Haul." I mused over the fact that I would more likely use a hearse instead.
I considered Grace for a moment. "But Grace, so far, everything I'm learning about you makes me think that it would be nice."
The waiter came with the salad, and slid the salad between us and then placed two plates. After he went away I served Grace half the salad and was overcome by a fit of the giggles.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
I forced myself to recover and said, "I was thinking about the other lesbian generalizations. And I wanted to know if you were looking at my hands."
Grace blushed. I smiled.
"Has anyone ever asked you how far that blush of yours extends?" I asked. I noticed she was also grateful that I had switched topics. I do suppose that the generalizations of lesbians do get tiresome. Briefly, I did wonder what other possible legitimate questions she might have, but did nothing to ask them from her.
Grace looked at the table, her fingers tapping uneasily as she shook her head. I reached to silence her nervous fingers.
"Grace, never be ashamed of your beauty." I said gently. I expected her to pull away from me instead I saw her stand and then come around the booth to sit next to me.
The rest of the evening was a blur of peace. She laughed at my jokes, she smiled and she laid her head on my shoulder as we walked arm in arm out of the restaurant.
I took her up to the steps that would lead into her apartment. I wavered for a moment and then brushed my lips to hers. Gone was the bitter taste of pain. It lingered, but no longer was it the sharp break that consumed her last night.
"Don't leave me tonight." She whispered tipping her forehead against my lips as I pulled away to leave for the night. I felt her hand touch my forearm.
"No sweeting, you're not ready." My thoughts betrayed my words. I wanted Grace more than anything tonight. I would chance the burning kiss of garlic. I wanted her to find comfort in my arms. I wanted to see the desire of longing in her eyes.
"That is my mistake to make Angel." She leaned close to my ear and whispered, "I want you to show me Angel. You know how it is that very first time with someone you want."
She looked up to me expectantly and I caved to her inner most desire to learn what desire and love truly could be between two people. Her heart in her chest wanted to forget the day before, and I was there to help it heal.
She led me slowly up the stairs to her apartment, her fingers hooked loosely into my hand. I paused at the door to her apartment as she fumbled for her keys out of her purse.
"Sweeting, it is not too late to deny me to enter your apartment." I whispered to her softly against her neck. I sensed her pulse quicken. My fangs dripped with saliva in anticipation. Again, they were denied with the quick pressure of my lower lip.
"No, I want you to come in." she pushed the door open and led me over the threshold into her sanctuary. The one place that until just a fraction of a second ago, was her safest place from me. She closed the door and went about putting her personal things away.
"Please have a seat. Would you like anything to drink?"
If you only knew Sweeting. "No thank you." I said forcing myself to behave, but the anticipation of having Grace so close to me physically and knowing she felt her own arousal right as she nervously flitted about her living room and kitchen.
I sank onto the couch, which had a lovely view of just a hint of a park on the corner. It was dark and shadow covered this late at night, but my mind dreamed it was a wonderful place in the day. I had grown past missing the day light, but sometimes just even the thought of the way light would filter through the leaves of maple trees left me depressed in the fact that I would never again be able to cherish those simple experiences.
"What's wrong?" Grace came in and saw me sitting down, lost in my thoughts.
"Nothing Sweeting." I said hoping to mask my deep thoughts.
"You were lost in your thoughts. Why haven't you seen the sun in so long?" she asked curious more about the reason she came up with the question than with the actual answer.
"Thank you for inviting me here Grace. You have a lovely home." I took her hand again, all night I had been giving her these little tokens of affection. She returned them with a genuine smile, warming my inner being.
She blushed again and then laid her head on my shoulder. Then after a moment enjoying the warmth of her curled against me, she tentatively rose from her comfortable spot against my left side and kissed my neck, just shy of the two wounds that were hidden by a lock of hair.
'I was hoping you'd start for me, but I want you tonight.' I heard her thought.
I reached over and cupped her face in my hand and looked into her eyes. There was fear, fear of the unknown factors: would I be in her bed when she woke up tomorrow, would she regret this moment of intimacy between the two of us, would I find her disappointing as a lover.
"I can't promise you what will happen in the morning Grace." I said to her softly.
"It is all right. I know." She put her finger to my lips. "Just show me the way."
I felt a lump rise in my throat, her words echoed that of what I had said my very first time. She pressed herself against my body, letting me know how much she wanted me just that very moment. I gave in as my resistance slid away with the growing number of pheromones in the air.
Through her clothes, I licked Grace's hardening nipples, finding their hardness teasing. I lifted away her clothes, my fingers rolling against her unexposed skin, driving me to undress her faster. I licked her nipples finding their taste heavenly, something between a sweet strawberry and a crisp apple. I was surprised at the turn her body presented to me only last night was bitter and laced in pain. Tonight, she was primed and begging for dreams she had only heard whispers about in bathrooms. I gently suckled her breast, feeling her squirm under me in arousal. Her hand gently caressed my ribs sliding higher to the back of my neck to push me to kiss her lips, sliding her leg so that I might smell a hint of her arousal.
I forced my thoughts to stay with her as I continued to tease the most sensitive parts of her body allowing her limited access to mine. I wanted to ignore the nagging feeling that I wanted to have Grace on a bed, surrounded by a hundred candles as I made love to her.
I felt her tongue enter my mouth and her hips grind in desperation. Until now, I had been wrapping my hands securely around her hips, holding her firmly against my own. My hands slipped along her narrow waist and supported her back as I returned her deepening kiss. For a woman who claimed to have so very little experience, I found her attempts to stifle her growing arousal amusing. I hastened my attempts to undress Grace, just to feel her warm skin against my cool one.
My fangs extended, longer than I had felt them, digging into my lower lip unless I kept my lips parted. Gently, she caressed my cheek and drew another hand to between her legs allowing me to feel how wet I had caused her to grow just from our brief interlude these past few minutes.
I teased her wet center tenderly with the tips of my fingers, wishing for more than just teasing her. She mewed her consent as I continued to tease her massaging her soft folds with my fingers. Finally, after drawing out her desire as long as she could stand, I heard her cry out underneath me.
Tears glistened from her eyes, her chest heaved slowly as she tried to clear her mind from the heady fog of orgasm. I leaned over and kissed her forehead. Her heart tattooed for several minutes, her mind open entirely to me, but I waited for her to control her own mind.
"You should have told me you were a vampire Angel." She said softly to me, sitting up and pressing her lips to my forehead.
I was startled. "How did you find out?" The question was laced with hurt. Curling up here with Grace, knowing she was safe and content was all I wanted. Dawn was fast approaching; she could easily take away my life without a moment's hesitation.
The scariest part about love that I never understood until that very moment was that the secret you hold closest to your own heart that no one ever finds out about is the secret you wish your lover or potential lover can never find. And yet, she knows its there for the whole world to see. And only a lover can keep your secret for you. She takes your secret and shields it from everyone else; all the while leaving you blissfully unaware that she knows. She'll do anything to keep your secret, and by direct extension you, safe. It's in her little whisper, her gentle touch, and her smile just for you.
A true lover wants all of you. She loves your faults and your strenghts. She wants to hold you whenever you are truely scared even if you never shed a tear.
"Your fangs, they dragged against me as I had..." she trailed off embaressed. Though she flushed, she reached up and touched the steely points that showed beneath my upper lip.
I looked at her neck. True enough, twin trails of blood across her throat.
"I am sorry." I kissed the injury I inflictected, my fangs twiched with anticipation being so close to the thundering pulse beneath the skin. For good measure though, and acting only as only a teaser to my gnawing hunger, I licked her blood from her throat. I felt a lump grow in my throat. It was such innocence and trust that lingered in my mouth.
"Why didn't you take it all?" she asked.
"Grace, you're too beautiful to leave to from death." I said softly. Again an echo from my past escaped my lips.
She stared at me trying to absorb all that just had transpired. Her thoughts were blocked from me, she must have sensed my apprehension She kissed my cheek and whispered, "Can you stay?" she asked. "I don't want to wake up alone."
"I won't be able to leave until evening." I said softly. 'I am at your mercy Sweeting.'
'I want to thank you and kept you safe until we can talk tomorrow night.' She kissed me intimately.
She led me from the living room into her room, pulling the curtains closed and turning back the sheets, pulling me again to her bed.