Long is the Way

Finally the night came on and the dark gave me some relief from the pain. I sat up and took a bowl of food from her. The smell of it cooking had been nauseating but after the first taste, I managed to keep it down.

"Feeling a little better?" she asked softly.

"Yeah." I whispered.

"You've told your doctor about these right? You never had these before the wreck." I glanced to her silhouette. We were eating without turning on our lantern to help me not hurt.

"Yeah. They did an MRI when I started having them in the hospital during recovery. They said they didn't see any sign of trauma." I took the last bite of my food.

"Well clearly they need a new MRI machine. Your head is always been screwed up."

I chuckled then winced.

"Oh, don't make me laugh... that hurts." I rubbed at my temple.

"Sorry."

I felt her hand brush mine as she took my bowl from me. Her fingers then pressed against my chest, and I leaned back till I was lying down. I saw her settle herself down next to me in the very last of the light.

I felt her fingertips start to gently massage my temples.

"Oh, Jan, thank you," I whispered when the pain began to ease a little..

"Shuuu." Her fingers worked in gentle circles across my forehead. I felt those fingers trace the sides of my nose, across my eyebrows, over to my hairline. Touching, but not lingering, on the old and not-so-old scars. I got totally relaxed under her hands. I even drifted to sleep a little, feeling her fingers lightly running through my hair. I lost track of time under her touch.

I must have snored, cause she tapped me on the nose.

"James? Here cousin, let me get you into your sleeping bag. You're falling asleep," she whispered.

With her help I climb inside the soft bag. "Thank you Jan," I mumbled, as sleep started to take me.

I heard her move next to me. I felt her breath on my face.

"You're welcome, James." Her lips lightly brushed mine. "For memory's sake," she whispered to me. "Sweet dreams."

For the next three days we did the mountain climber's two-step. Up and back, up and back. I could feel my body and lungs adjusting to the air faster every day.

We camped now on the spot where we had sat panting for breath four days before.

The others were camped lower down the slopes. The guide was being conservative with his group of fat businessmen. Rich, fat businessmen. All with rich, fat, good lawyers no doubt. Can't say I blamed him.

I was sitting on a large rock outcrop looking out across the park to the setting sun, watching the neighboring mountains as they began catching fire. I heard her walking towards me through the snow.

"Wow," she said in a near whisper.

"Yea. It never gets old, does it?"

Reaching over, I pulled her over till she was standing in front of me. I wrapped her in my arms, resting my chin on her shoulder. I felt her hands press against my arms holding me to her.

Jan leaned back into me as we watched the sun sink by inches.

"I love it up here," she told me softly. "It must be horrible in winter, but right now it's like having a continual sunset."

"It's beautiful." I looked across at a line of dark clouds plowing towards us over a line of ridges to the south east. "Doubt we will make any higher tomorrow. That will be on us in an hour or so." I gave her a tighter hug and started to let go, but she clutched at my arms. Not ready to turn loose.

"That's fine. I could use a rest anyway." She yawned. "This is taking more out of me than I thought it would. How is your leg doing?"

"I won't lie and say it's not hurting, but then it always does. The pain is manageable and not about to stop me anytime soon. Yeah, a rest would be nice." I looked at the approaching storm. "Not that we really have much say in it."

She nodded. She looked up the mountain, towards the summit still far above us.

"We will be leaving the snow shoes behind soon." She told me with a little trepidation.

"Yep. It's going to get rougher in a hurry. Soon it will be all crampons and ice axes." I hugged her tighter. "Don't worry Jan. It won't be any different than what we did on Mount Rainier. Just more of it."

She nodded. I looked over at the storm. It was rolling towards us like a black ocean wave cresting over the white caps of the mountains

"Come on let's go get the flags set up."

We took a few steps towards our tent then I grabbed her arm.

"Wait."

She turned to look at me.

I was gazing up at the sky. Her eyes followed mine.

"Oh my god..." she said in a low, awed whisper. "My god that's beautiful."

I took her hand and held it in mine as we watched the northern lights playing above us in the last rays of the vanished sun.

"Oh god... James. I wish Morgan could be here to see this with me."

I watched a tear roll down her cheek.

"He is," I said. I reached over and tapped her chest between her breast. I slowly brought my hand to my own chest and pushed till I felt the circle of metal against my skin.

Jan's hand came to rest on top of mine.

"Wendy is here too," she said softly.

I chuckled and shook my head.

"Wendy, would be down at the lodge. With her feet propped up in front of the fire, laughing her ass off, at us freezing our asses off up here."

Jan laughed.

"True." She chuckled. "But then, she always was the smart one of the two of you."

I dropped Jan's hand and shook my head.

"Come on, smart ass."

"Uhh! I cannot help it that my ass went for higher education while yours rode the short bus." She trailed along behind me.

I ignored the remark. I knew it was a friendly, veiled dig about my career choice after high school. Jan had gone to Arizona State where she had met Morgan. He was studying business and finance in the hopes of one day running his own casino.

My education choice was Ranger School at Fort Benning, Georgia.

"Well, I guess green bus would be more accurate," she teased from behind.

"No, to be accurate, it would be a tan bus." I unzipped the tent flap and, reaching inside, pulled out the orange bag with the collapsible poles.

With Jan's help, in the growing wind, I got the rescue poles set up in a sturdy place. By the time we had them set up only our guide-line let us find the tent easily.

Almost as soon as we had the tent zipped shut the wind picked up to dangerous levels outside.

"Damn! I wonder what the wind speed is out there?" she asked me as she dug into our bags.

"Probably forty, fifty mile an hour. Not bad for this mountain. I read they have clocked wind speed in the hundred plus up here."

"Hurricane force? Lovely. Will the tent hold up to that?" she asked looking at the dancing nylon walls around us.

"Well, they were wind tunnel tested to survive two hundred plus so yea it should. Whether the anchors will hold down the tent, now that's another matter," I told her as I started pulling out our dinner packs.

"So, that's the reason for the rope and pinyon you set up. I was kind of wondering about that."

"Yeah." I handed her her dinner. "I don't want to get back down to base camp in such a hurry."

I shivered a little. Looking over at the thermometer I saw it had dropped about five degrees since we got inside. That was with us moving around and using two heating tabs to cook. The temperature outside was falling at an alarming rate.

"Soon as it gets dark, the temperature is going to fall like a hammer," she told me, looking at the thermometer

"Yep. Let's finish our coffee and get into the bags. Try to save as much body heat as we can."

Sipping the dark bean juice as quick as we could we stripped down to our thermals and slipped into our bags.

"SHIT!"

I looked over to Jan. She was holding her zipper in her hand.

I crawled back out my bag and went over to try to help her out, but it was a lost cause. The thing had tore out several teeth from one side of the zipper strip. It was slowly opening back up, all down the side.

"James?" she asked me a touch of fear in her voice.

My training from long ago kicked in. I assessed the situation and made a snap decision. They told us, in the army training school, it was better to make a semi-wrong decision quickly, than the right one too late.

"Open it all the way up. Slide the foot over the end of mine. You crawl in with me and we will use yours as a kind of blanket over the top of us," I told her.

"We won't be able to close the top of your bag," she said, worried. "We'll lose a lot of heat."

"With body heat from two of us we may not need to have the top closed, but let's see how it goes. If it's a problem, we'll come up with something else." We worked together to get my bag stuffed into the foot of hers. Then like two worms we wiggled our way into the same sleeping back.

"This is cozy." she said complained, then snuggling up to my chest. I felt her chuckle. "Like Yellowstone."

"That sleeping bag was bigger and we were a lot smaller." I tried to get a little more comfortable but only succeed in elbowing her in the breast.

"Ow! Are you saying I'm fat?" she asked bringing her face up till she was nose to nose with me. "I'll have you know, I'm the skinniest I've been since high school!"

I slipped my arm around her waist.

"Yeah, but you were fat in high school. I've seen the pictures." I teased.

"That damn camera added ten pounds!" She kind of kneeded my knee with hers.

"No, that was the Haagen Dazs ice cream."

"Well don't go sounding to high and mighty. I've seen your high school photos. You had more pimples than the rest of the school combined." She stopped wiggling and, after a second, looked at my face. "This is a lot warmer."

"No shit, really? Who rode the short bus?" I tried to find a comfortable place for my arm and failed.

"Yeah, well I may have ridden the short bus, but you rode the bus ,wore a helmet, and licked the glass all the way to school!" She moved enough to try and poke me in the ribs, but got my armpit.

I rolled my eyes heaven ward for strength.

"Jan shut up and go to sleep for god's sake."

"I would love to, but you keep talking to me." She some how wiggled herself around till she was faced away from me. I spooned up against her back and finally found a place for my arm that was moderately comfortable.

She wiggled her ass back against my crotch.

"Goodnight, James."

I chuckled a little.

"Goodnight Jan."

I awoke at the first low rumble. I listened for it to grow. The fear of an avalanche sent a huge surge of adrenaline through me. Then I saw the night sky light up through the fabric of the tent. I could see the lightning's path across the sky almost like the nylon wasn't there.

The second rumble shook the whole side of the mountain

Jan woke with a panicked gasp and tried to get free of the bag.

"Easy Jan," I told her, getting a hold of her and making her stop. After a moment she settled down.

"What was..."

Lightning again split the sky. The thunder rumbled, echoing from rock to rock, continuing for what seems like ages. It was almost deafeningly loud.

Jan some how spun in my arms like a top, despite the fact there wasn't an inch to spare in the bag. I felt her pressing her face into my chest and heard her whimper as the next bolt cut through the air above us. She pressed her hands to her head as the thunder shook us.

"It's okay, Baby, I got you," I whispered in the silence between. I pulled Jan into my arms and held the back of her head to my chest. Memories came rushing back, like deja vu. The years and maturity rolled away, and I again felt like the young boy, holding his frightened cousin as she cried. Afraid of the storm.

I heard a low rumble nearby that I knew wasn't thunder, but the rush of falling snow down the side of the mountain At this point though, there wasn't anything I could do, so I put that fear out my mind and just held her.

Maybe the rush of panic took the strength out of her, I don't know, but in awhile I felt her relax against me, and I knew almost to the second that she had fallen back asleep. I listened to the thunder and the "not thunder" rumble the night around us for many hours. I drifting in and out of a light "combat" sleep myself. Finally it seemed to slack off, and I let myself fall off into deeper, normal sleep myself.

"James. James, wake up."

My eyes popped open, and I looked down at Jan. I had her curled into my side, held tight to me.

"Good morning," I told her softly as I let her loose a bit.

"Good morning to you as well. That was a hell of a night," she said, looking up at me as I got my elbow under me and lifted up to make a little room..

I nodded.

"Sounds like it's still going outside," she then whispered, softly. Almost as if to make a sound that the storm might not like.

I listened to the sound of snow and wind coming down hard against the sides of the tent. Both in equal measure

"Yeah. It may last all day."

"I hate to do it, but I got to go out and play in the snow for a few seconds." She started to wiggle around to get at the zipper to the sleeping bag. "And, judging by what's poking me in the hip, you need to as well."

As she zipped down the bag the rush of cold air into our warm cocoon was brutal. As I grabbed my boots, suddenly as if her words were all that was needed to make me aware of my urgent need to piss, I looked at the thermometer. It was minus thirty outside and not much above that in here.

But that difference didn't include the wind chill. Oh, God it was cold.

As I started to pee, I heard her normal complaints about male anatomy.

"Hey, listen... if it gets any colder I'm going to be having to squat as well." I told her. "My cock is going to retreat inside for the rest of the trip. I think my testicles already have."

Standing there, trying to hold my dick at a downward angle even though was wanting to point up, I looked around and wished I would hurry up.

"I don't want to fucking hear it! I think my pussy lips just froze together!" She came back past me, towards the tent, at a slog through the fresh snow.

I looked past her then. I caught her arm. She looked where I was looking and frozen, speechless.

The orange flags we set up were gone. The whole area just a few dozen feet away from our tent was scraped to the bare rock.

"Avalanche," I said in a soft whisper awed by how close to the tent it came.

She gave a shiver and headed into the tent.

When I got inside she was sitting in the bag shivering. I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from the fear. Probably both.

I know it was for me.

I started to grab up my clothes.

"Were you going?" she asked me seeing me getting dressed

"I want to see if I can find our flags before it snows any harder." I told her as I zipped the inner zippers closed.

She got up and started getting dressed as well.

"You don't have to go," I told her as I grabbed up my jacket.

"No one goes anywhere alone. Remember who said that?" She looked at me as she buttoned her pants.

"Yeah. Okay." I headed out and looked up the mountain as I waited for her. I couldn't see the summit due to the storm clouds still swirling snow around us.

Hooking a lifeline together we headed over to where the flags had been. I followed the path of the snow down the side of the hill for about three hundred yards till I saw a bit of orange sticking out the white.

The flag was half tattered and the telescopic pole was bent like a pretzel.

We found the second pole and its flag, standing upright, just like it had been planted there.

"God, if the others had climbed up here and seen this they would have been digging around here trying to find us. Figuring we got buried by the snow." She looked down the hill at the large drifts of disturbed powder.

"Yep. That's why I wanted to find the flags. Come on, let's get back before we get frostbite."

As we climbed, the snow started coming down harder. Almost as soon as we started back, it seemed to double. In the end only my compass and training got us back to the tent. It was a total white-out by the time we were zipping the door up.

I started breakfast and coffee while she tidied up our sleep area. We ate the meal in silence, trying to not let the other one see how afraid we both felt. The heavy rumble of thunder returned with the stronger winds a little while later.

I saw her flinch at the noise.

"I thought you said you weren't afraid of thunderstorms anymore?" I asked

"I've never exactly been in the middle of one before," she told me in the silence between rumbles. I saw the growing sound finally get the better of her. She dug out her MP3 player and stuffed her ears with little, white speaker buds. She soon had it loud enough that I could hear it.

Bored, I fished out the deck of cards and started to play solitaire. As I finished my second hand, I noticed she had taken an interest in the cards. Scooping them up I dealt out a hand of Texas hold-em.

She reached over to the food bag and pulled out a bag of animal crackers. She counted out twenty to each of us. I quickly lost two giraffes and a lion to her.

I watched her deal.

"How did you do that thing with the three sixes?" I asked, watching her hands move.

Looking up she smiled, then looked puzzled and with a roll of her eyes pulled out one of the ear buds.

"What?"

"How did you do that thing with the three sixes?" I asked again.

"Oh, that. I loaded the deck while he was talking," she confessed without shame.

I smiled.

"I seem to remember you promised no cheating." I grinned at her wickedly

"I wasn't cheating in the least. While we played."

I laughed and settled in to watch her hands. Even knowing what to look for she can still slip something past me about every three out of five deals.

Some people play cards to get better at playing. I was learning to cheat at cards. What can I say? She was a good teacher.

We got snow trapped twice more as that third week in July went on. Only once did the other climbers catch up to us. The mountain guide advised us to fall back and walk with the group but I disagreed with him. She and I had been finding very safe and easy paths compared to the ones he was following from memory.

The morning of our fifteenth day on the mountain dawned with Jan and I several hundred feet above where the others had camped for the night.

"Two more days?" I heard her ask behind me. I turned from looking up at the mountain to see Jan standing behind me.

"Barring weather...yeah." I pulled in a deep breath. God, the air is so thin. "Climb today and tomorrow. Camp tomorrow night, then we will summit the next morning. Come back to that camp, rest and start down the next day."

She looked down at the others.

"They won't summit before us," she said shaking her head. "They may even be a day behind."

I nodded. I smiled seeing my cousin start to grin.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, I think I'll leave that bottle of champagne there. Empty."

"God, you're vindictive." I grinned. "I love it, so long as it's not aimed at me."

She grinned at me and headed back into the tent.

We packed up as quickly as the thin air would let us. I felt like I had run a dozen miles, and we were just starting. My leg was a cold dull ache of pain that I was now trying to hide from her. I could feel the metal screws in the bones. They were like cold, but at the same time, hot points of fire. I swallowed a small pill with a sip of the melted snow from my canteen.

"James?" she asked. I could hear the concern.

"I'm fine. Lets go."

My ice crampons sinking into the frozen ground and, my ice ax acting like a cane for me, I started upwards.

We walked in silence for the next couple of hours, trying to save our air for the climb. A thick cloud covered us for a bit, and we walked in the drifting fog. As it blew away, I felt the ground drop downward in front of me. The sky cleared around me I saw that I was standing on the ridge-top looking up at the summit