Loss to Love Ch. 10

By lunch, almost everyone in school heard in one way or another about the conversation Kate and I shared earlier. Of course, seeing that no one actually knew what we were talking about, weird scenarios started forming. Plot lines that could only happen in movies started emerging, ranging from the most absurd being that I fucked Kate and she was now pregnant, to me screwing with some football jock, the latter being not too far off.

I grabbed lunch and, not wanting to sit with the football jocks, went to eat in the peacefulness of the roof. I was running from my problems but I couldn't care less. I had the right to take this at my own pace, no matter how frustratingly slow it was.

My phone vibrated with a text, thinking that it had to be Kate asking about my whereabouts seeing that she seemed hell bent of having a talk with me. I fished it out, noticing that the text wasn't from Kate but Travis. "Hey, heard you're back to school today. Meet me at the field after school before football practice. I'm not taking no for an answer."

I wondered if I was going to follow what Travis wanted me to do. I mean he wasn't cornering me or anything, so I could very well just leave and he won't be able to stop me. A part of me knew that I had to talk to them eventually and maybe, with Travis being gay too, would be more understanding of my plight.

That part of me won, evidently as I was standing by the field waiting for Travis that afternoon. I looked to the bleachers above me, staring at the spot where I had broken up with Nick, where I had broken his heart. Except for a couple of people sitting at the top, the stands were empty. A peaceful silence blanketed the field, the calm before the storm if you will, before the football team commenced their practice.

"Hey." I heard from behind me. I was expecting that to be Travis, but that voice was unmistakable. Nick. I didn't turn, instead moving my gaze to the ground.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here? You don't usually hang around here." He said.

"Travis asked to meet me here." I told him.

"He did? I guess that makes two of us." He said. Curiosity got the better of me, turning to have my first look at Nick. He was dressed in his sports wear, a school tank top with a pair of shorts, ready for the upcoming practice.

"Travis asked to meet you too?" I asked, to which Nick nodded. We settled into a silence after that unsure of what to say to each other. I stared out to the field, the floor, the sky, anywhere except Nick. I wished Travis would show up soon, at least get a third person here before this awkward silence became unbearable, but no matter how much I wished, Travis was no where in sight.

Eventually the football team started filing in, the field getting more crowded by the minute, definitely not the time and environment to have a heart to heart conversation. All it took was to see Tray walking toward the field for me to decide that it was my time to leave. It would have been too awkward with him there, looking at Nick and I next to each other and yet not talking.

"Um I think Travis is late so I think I'll just go. Just ask him to call me if he wants to talk." I said, turning to head off the field.

"Drew wait." Nick said, grabbing me by the shoulder. His warm hand felt good against my skin, making me miss him terribly. "We need to talk." I glanced at the football team, some of them turning their attention to us, me sticking out like a sore thumb among all the sports wear, wearing a pair of jeans and a shirt.

"Can we do this some other time? I don't think this is the right place." I said, trying to pull my shoulder from his grip but he had a tight hold, not allowing my escape.

"No. We need to talk now." He said, turning me around. I looked at his face, determination set in his eyes.

"Fine. Talk."

"You know I've been thinking a lot these past two days about what you said that day. Yeah I was hurt, I really was. I mean what are supposed to feel when the person you love says that they can't stand to see your face." At him saying he loved me, I looked around and noticed that the entire football team was standing to one side, listening to Nick's speech intently. Nick didn't care that he had just outed himself, continuing on. "I thought that maybe if that was how you feel, I couldn't put you through that. To make you happy, I had to give you up

"I started thinking about how you looked at me, how I didn't see anything akin to disgust. How when you looked at me, I felt loved. I felt your love. I remembered that you said I let guilt control me, and I realize that was what you did. Used guilt to get to me. But what I couldn't understand was why you wanted me gone so bad that you had to lie to me, hurt me to get me to give up.

"Then Dean popped out of nowhere, looking for you and saying that he had to prove to you that he wasn't gone. Then it hit me, that you were scared to lose me, like you felt you lost everyone else in life. I was all ready to accept your decision and let you go. If that was gonna make you happy, I was gonna let you go.

"But then I remembered something that someone once told me, that I was responsible for my own happiness first and foremost. That I shouldn't try to please everyone around me. So here I am, putting my happiness before anything else. That happiness is you Drew, and I don't care if you think you'll lose me or whatever because I will not lose let myself lose you. I love you."

During his monologue, Nick had slowly closed the gap between us, bringing us within inches of each other. I looked up at Nick, overwhelmed by his words. He wanted me back. Nick lowered his head, bringing his lips to mine. The kiss was soft but I felt my eyes tearing at the touch. "I love you too." I whispered out, breaking the kiss. A tear rolled down my cheek, running down to my chin where it dripped to the ground.

Cheering broke out from our moment as the football team, which had witnessed everything, shouted and hooted in support. I smiled, wiping the tear from my face. Nick placed his forehead against mine, whispering, "I can't promise you that we'll be together forever, but I can promise you that I will make you happy as long as you'll have me."

"I'm sorry. I was stupid, I shouldn't have..." Nick interrupted me, putting a finger to my lips.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Well well well, took you guys long enough?" Travis voice came from the right. I turned in his direction, seeing a smug look on his face, Tray standing right behind him a similar look on his.

"You were late." I said.

"No I wasn't. My plan worked like a charm. For a minute I thought I had to intervene when you almost left. Good thing Nick stepped up."

"What plan?" Nick asked, mirroring my confusion.

"Okay I guess it's time for me to come clean. You see, I didn't actually want to talk to either of you. I just needed to get you both to talk face to face."

"Sneaky bastard. Since you didn't mind playing Cupid, I'm assuming your crush on Drew is over? Because it better be, if you know what I mean." Nick said, growling lightly.

"Okay slow down tiger, I guess I have more confessions to make while I'm at it." Travis said, holding his hands up.

"Wait wait, since when were you gay?" Tray asked, not knowing about Travis's orientation.

"Well I was getting to that. You see, I never actually had a crush on Drew, I'm not even gay I'm fact."

"What?" Nick and I said at the same time.

"Yeah I pretended to be gay. I never liked Drew like that. I just knew you did and I thought I had to add some pressure or you wouldn't make a move." Travis said, speaking to Nick. "It was kinda mission accomplished when I found out you guys were dating."

"Wait, so you pretended to be gay, told me you liked Drew and them asked him out, just so that I would make a move?" Nick asked.

"Pretty much yeah." Travis said, smiling.

"What if I had said yes to the date?" I asked, wondering how things would have played out if my response had been different.

"Even if you said yes, I knew Nick here wouldn't have let me go through with it anyway, ain't that right Nick." Travis smiled knowingly. Nick blushed, nodding his head slightly.

"Why go through all the trouble of playing Cupid though?" I asked. I mean I got whatever he was saying but it was just strange to me.

"Because you guys are cute together." This time it wasn't Travis but Tray who spoke. "Glad you guys came to your senses. On a side note, seems like the guys are all okay with your relationship." Tray said, pointing to the team behind, some of whom have started talking within themselves, some doing some stretches. "And they don't seem to mind either." Tray pointed to the top of the bleachers, where the two girls I saw earlier were smiling like idiots.

"Well knowing Jameson high, news of this would be spreading through its halls any second now. I hope you're okay that you're basically out to the school now?" I asked, looking at Nick.

"I really couldn't care less, not if you're there next to me."

"Well I know this is all sweet and all but it's practice now so..." Travis said, turning and running back to the team.

Nick rolled his eyes, turning his gaze back to me. "I love you Langston. I really do."

"I love you too dipwad." I said. Nick smiled before capturing my lips in another kiss.