Lost and Found

The way she said it almost sounded like an invitation but I wasn't going to get my hopes up. It felt so comfortable being with her again; we had naturally fallen back into our old behaviours but I refused to read too much into it; maybe it was just habit. I stayed silent.

'I hope you still like cheese?'

I'm passionate about cheese and Jo knows it. We pulled into a farm entrance and as we drove around the back she told Buster to be good and took me into a small artisan cheese factory where we sampled lots of cheeses and chatted to the owners before buying several different types.

Next she drove me to a similar set up, except this one was making and selling cider, where we settled on a wonderfully dry, crisp brew to have with our picnic.

Our next stop involved steering the car down a narrow, rutted track that seemed to be a dead end and at times I was convinced that the small car was going to get stuck in the sandy soil, the wheels spinning ominously.

Jo stopped the car and we gathered the bags and hamper that were in the boot and set off down a small path. I was ravenously hungry after my long walk and was just asking Jo how much further we had to go when I was met with a glorious sight.

Down below us was a very small and totally deserted cove and we had to scramble down a set of roughly hewn rock steps to reach the beach.

'Wow, this is awesome!' and I slipped off my shoes to feel the warm, soft sand beneath my toes.

'The locals call it smugglers cove and there are all sorts of stories about its chequered history. I have no idea how true any of them are but it's my favourite place and as it's not obvious it rarely gets found by tourists.'

We spread blankets on the sand and Jo opened the hamper she had packed. I'm not sure what I expected it to contain but I certainly didn't expect it hold quite so much or for it to comprise many of my favourite foods; I definitely got the impression that Jo had done this with me in mind and was maybe trying to please or impress me.

'Bloody hell Jo, are you trying to fatten me up?'

'I was trying to remember what you liked to eat most and then I couldn't decide, so there's warm lasagne in that pot, cold piri-piri chicken in that one, salad in there – sorry but I kept the celery separate, I still can't even stand the smell, the cheese we bought earlier, crusty bread, olives with chilli and lime, cheese and onion quiche, crisps – I know how much you like crisps, ..'

'Ok stop, I get it! There's enough food here to feed a small army, you've even brought things that you don't like for goodness sake!'

Jo was smiling but she looked faintly embarrassed, as if she'd been caught out somehow.

'Sorry – I went a little overboard huh?'

She looked entirely vulnerable in that instant, as if my opinion meant everything to her, as if she needed confirmation that her efforts were appreciated, which they were. They were also a little frightening as if she kept this up I would lose myself to her once more; or is that what I wanted?

What could I do but wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me as I whispered "thank you" into her ear. I felt a small shudder and thought I had somehow offended her but as I pulled away slightly I noticed the look in her eyes, a look I had seen many times in the past, a look that never failed to turn me to jelly.

I didn't mean to, I really didn't, but before I knew it I had touched my lips to hers. It was only a light and brief kiss before my senses kicked in and I pulled away sharply, muttering apologies and trying to extricate myself, hoping to god I hadn't ruined our day with 1 stupid slip up.

I needn't have worried.

Jo's arms held me fast as I tried to move back and she shushed my apologies by planting her lips back on mine, although this was no slight contact, it was a proper, serious, wonderful kiss.

I felt her tongue brush my lower lip and my mouth opened of its own volition. My conscious mind was screaming in the background that this was stupid, I was going to get hurt, I was going to have to leave again in a few days, I was setting myself up for a fall, but then her tongue was in my mouth teasing my own, her soft lips were melded to mine and the scent of her perfume was in my nostrils, her hand was on the back of my neck caressing gently and I was lost.

I wasn't capable of conscious or ordered thought and my rational objections were driven away by the power of that kiss, by the pent up emotion that was finding release, by the sheer ecstasy of having the woman I loved in my arms, kissing me like I was hers once more.

Eventually we broke apart and this time it was Jo who tried to apologise but I wouldn't let her. Once I was capable of coherent speech once more I ran my fingers down her cheek and cupped her chin, lifting her eyes to meet mine.

'Hey you.'

'Hey you.'

It was the greeting that we had generally used on waking up in the morning, on first opening our eyes and seeing each other and in that moment those two words conveyed more than eloquent poems or love songs ever could.

'We need to eat and then we need to talk, don't you think?'

The atmosphere was a little tense at first but soon we relaxed as we watched Buster playing in the surf and chasing gulls. We ate and drank cider, we talked about inconsequential things, we enjoyed the sun on our faces and all the while our eyes betrayed our casual demeanour. We were both stealing covert glances at each other, appraising each other; and I knew that my world had just shifted off its axis subtly.

As soon as we finished eating Buster was barking at us furiously and nosing Jo's bag. She removed a large and well chewed Frisbee and we spent ages running around on the sand playing with the dog, laughing and joking and just being... well....us!

Eventually he tired us out and we sat in silence for a while on the blanket. For my part I know I was trying to find a way to start a conversation that I knew was going to be hard and I could only assume that Jo was having the same problem.

I didn't know where to start as I really wasn't sure of what to expect or hope for – either way this was a discussion that was going to have some pretty huge ramifications.

I looked up as Jo cleared her throat to find her looking at me expectantly, it was clear that she wanted me to take the initiative so I mustered my courage and let loose with my opening gambit.

'Ok Jo, I think you know that I'm still very much in love with you and I'm getting the impression that the feeling might be mutual. How do you see things panning out from here?'

I may have had to start the conversation but I saw no reason why I shouldn't throw the ball directly into her side of the court. She was silent for an age and I saw indecision in her eyes, as if she was worried about how candid to be but she finally sighed and spoke.

'Honestly Vicki, I don't know. Meeting you again just feels like I've been given a second chance to make up for my ignorance and stupidity 3 years ago, a chance to make amends for my mistakes and to make it up to you for they way I treated you. It feels so right being with you but I'm scared.'

'Scared of what Jo?'

'Scared that you must hate me on some level for leaving you. Scared of having to deal with my parents. Scared that I'll let you down all over again. Scared that I don't deserve you. Most of all I'm scared that you'll drive back to London in a few days and I'll never, ever see you again.'

She had gentle tears tracking lazily down her cheeks as she spoke and the sight of her crying tore my heart in two. I was trying so hard to remain calm and strong, to work this out with my head rather then my heart but I never could bear to see Jo hurt in any way, so I reached out and took her hand in mine.

'I'm scared too Jo. Scared that if we get back into a relationship that you'll break my heart all over again but I know that going home to London and leaving you here is going to do that anyway. I can't help feeling like there's some kind of fate at work here and if we miss this chance then we'll never get another one.'

Buster barked his assent at this, making us both giggle.

'Come here'

Jo lay down on the blanket and opened her arms to me and I couldn't have refused if I'd wanted to. I moved so that I was next to her, my head resting in the crook of her shoulder and my arm across her tummy.

She held me tightly and I heard a deep and satisfied sigh, although I couldn't tell which of us it came from. My head spun as I nestled into her warm body, remembering just how good it felt to be held by this woman; just how wonderful it felt to know her love.

'I'm going to tell you a story and I want you to listen without saying anything.

Once upon a time there was a princess who was the daughter of a very strict and controlling king and queen who expected their subjects to do exactly as they were told. She tried to be a good princess and to do as her parents wished but sometimes she found it very hard as she had very different ideas and opinions to her parents, so she learnt that the best way she could cope was to pretend to the king and queen that she was a good girl and effectively live two different lives.

One day the princess met someone and they fell hopelessly in love but she knew that the king and queen would never approve of her choice in partner, so the princess continued to live a double life knowing that as long as the king and queen didn't find out they could be very happy together.

The princess was doing very well at work which impressed the king and queen – they were very proud that their daughter was such a success and was upholding their standards.

Unfortunately the stress of this double life combined with a stressful job started to get to the princess and she found it impossible to maintain both. She loved her companion dearly and was also up for promotion at work but the stress was becoming overwhelming.

She knew she needed her companion and she needed her job to pay for her princess lifestyle but she came to the decision that she couldn't keep both.

Then one day, her manager told her that she was to be given the chance to do an even more responsible job, for even more money. She had to decide whether to turn down the promotion and leave things as they were. To keep her companion and explain to her parents why they were both moving to Exeter, or she had to leave her love and make the move for the new job alone, thus keeping her parents happy.

She was a bit confused at the time and it seemed somehow easier to take the last option, rationalising that her lover would soon find someone else and that they would both eventually be happy.

Almost immediately though she realised she had made a terrible mistake. She missed her lover so badly that she didn't even care about the fantastic job because she was so unhappy. She thought about contacting her old lover and begging forgiveness but she was so scared and she didn't feel like she had the right to be forgiven. She felt as if her loneliness and pain were the punishment she deserved for putting her parents and job in front of her lover's happiness.

She continued to live her life and even found a nice man that the king and queen would approve of, however she couldn't lie to herself any more and she didn't want to hurt this nice man, so she let him go before things went too far.

Then one day she had a particularly bad day at work and thought "I deserve more than this shit" so she quit her job to run a much more menial business, with lower pay but that she would enjoy.

The king and queen were furious! They travelled to see the princess and used every trick in their arsenal to try to make her change her mind, they even threatened to cut her out of their wills and deny her the kingdom when they died.

The princess nearly buckled under the pressure but she managed to stand firm and told them to go home. Then, a few weeks later her clumsy dog soaked someone on the beach and who do you think it was?

It was her lover of 3 years previously! As soon as she saw her she knew that she still loved her more than anything or anyone in the world and that even the king and queen couldn't force them apart this time, even if they did take the kingdom away from her.

The only problem was, she knew she might not be strong enough to tackle them again on her own, so she very humbly asked her lover if she would stand firm by her side in her battles with the king and queen so that they might have a second chance of happiness.'

'Oh Jo!' I choked as the tears overcame me.

'So will you Vicki? Will you give me a second chance and help me to be strong?'

'Damn, I love you so much Jo.'

I rolled on top of her and kissed her deeply. I have no idea how long we lay on that blanket, just holding each other and kissing tenderly; laughing and crying and mourning our lost time. The outpouring of emotion was almost too much to bear and yet we needed it. Needed to purge our very souls and let the affirmation of our love bind us to one another once more.

We were so wrapped up in each other that I think it must have been raining for some time before we actually noticed, in fact if Buster hadn't started barking his displeasure we may never have noticed, but reluctantly we packed up our things and climbed the steps back to the car.

We were all soaked by the time we got to the car, the all pervading smell of wet dog quickly filling the interior. We drove back to Jo's house and I sat in her quaint kitchen while she got changed. She'd offered to lend me some clothes but even though I'd lost some weight she was still several inches taller than me so nothing was going to fit very well.

As soon as she was done she drove me to the campsite, this time coming into the tent with me as I changed. Once again I stripped off my wet clothes leaving me in just bra and panties and as I glanced over to where Jo was sitting on my sleeping bag and noticed she was watching me intently.

'Wow Vicki! I loved your body before but you look even better for having lost a few pounds!'

'A few pounds? Two and a half stone more like, I'd be bloody upset if I didn't look at bit better!'

'It's not just the weight though, you look so fit. You've got muscles and everything!'

I've always had very strong arms and legs – Jo knows this, but I had been spending a lot of time in the gym and now those muscles were defined and toned. They weren't prominent like a body builder but I knew I looked good and I liked the way Jo's eyes were darkening as she took in my new form.

I was so intent on looking at Jo's face that I was startled when I felt her cool touch on my thigh, her fingers tracing the lines of muscle just beneath the surface.

That simple touch started a fire somewhere deep within me and as her hand moved to trace across my tummy it felt like someone had sucked all of the air from the tent. She pulled me down onto the sleeping bag with her as her hands traced the outlines of my shoulder blades before running down my spine making me shiver, but her words had me positively trembling.

'Vicki I want you'

Oh how I had dreamed of hearing her say those words once more!

Her lips scorched a path down my neck and shoulder and I was so focused on their progress I barely realised her practiced hand had unsnapped my bra. I did however notice her cool fingers as they grazed one of my nipples and I couldn't stop the moan that let her know just how good it felt.

'Oh Jesus Jo I've missed you sooo much' I moaned into her mouth as her lips returned to mine, her tongue gently teasing mine out to play.

'I've missed you too baby, now let me up – I need to feel your skin on mine.'

I rolled off her so that she could sit up and started removing her jeans as she removed her shirt, the body I had known so well revealing itself to me once more. By the time I had pulled her panties over her feet she had removed her bra and was laying back on my sleeping bag in all of her naked glory. She hadn't changed a bit and I wanted to dive in greedily and devour every inch of her.

I pulled my own panties off and started to kiss my way up one of her legs, fully intending on kissing every single piece of skin on her gorgeous body but she was too impatient.

'Vicki please? There's time for slow and tender later; right now I really need to fuck you!'

My Jo had had rarely used the word "fuck" so I knew she was impatient, there was a desperate look in her eyes that I couldn't ignore, so I lowered myself down onto her tall frame, choking back a sob of happiness as the familiar and long missed feeling of her skin on mine sent waves of emotions rolling through me.

Our hands were everywhere at once. The desperate need to reacquaint ourselves with each other's body was all consuming and when I felt her nails rake down my back I know I cried out in delight.

Our nipples were hard as pebbles and as my larger breasts descended onto hers, nipple against nipple it was almost too much to cope with.

I felt her hands on my arse as she pulled my hips down, pulling me tightly against her. I moved slightly and adjusted position between her thighs, almost immediately finding the perfect place.

Our already soaked pussies now splayed wide against each other as we moved in unison, our juices mingling as our clits mashed against each other making us gasp and cry out. I remember wondering briefly if the noise of the rain on canvas would drown out our cries or if other campers were listening to us but it was a fleeting thought, easily diminished by the perfect joy of looking down into the lust filled eyes below me.

As our tempo increased and we thrust against each other with more fervour than ever before I heard Jo cry out 'Oh Vicki I love you!'

That was all I needed and my own release was immediate as we rode out our pleasure together, staring into eyes that we had once known so well but had thought were lost to us.

We collapsed in a heap and just lay there panting and listening to the rain until finally Jo lifted herself up on one elbow and kissed me.

'I really want to taste you and I really want to wake up with you. We can stay here if you like but I have a bed at home that's big and comfortable and there's much more room. Please, please come home with me?'

Much as I like camping I had to admit that this small tent wasn't an ideal location for a night of passion and I knew that if the other campers hadn't heard us yet they soon would. I had all sorts of things I wanted to do to this woman, things I had been missing out on for 3 years, so I doubted either of us would be getting much sleep tonight.

We jumped up and dressed in the minimal amount of clothing we could get away with in record time, stuffing our underwear into our pockets – after all, we were only going to strip again the moment we got in through Jo's front door.

I shoved some things into my rucksack and we dashed from the tent to Jo's car, pausing only to zip it back up to keep the rain out. We'd only been outside for a matter of seconds but the rain was torrential.

'Every time I see you I end up soaked!' I quipped to Jo. She leaned in close and bit my ear slightly before whispering 'Good, that's just the way I like you.'

I knew damned well that Jo wasn't thinking about the weather and she slammed the car into gear and drove as fast as the slick road conditions would allow, both of us wanting nothing more than to be in her bed, back in each other's arms and even wetter than we currently were.

Buster was very pleased to see us when we got in and I'm sure he felt a bit miffed when all he got was a brief tickle and a couple of biscuits before we ran upstairs to Jo's bedroom.

We tore our clothes off in a frenzy before diving onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs, writhing against each other as we kissed with a dizzying passion.