Lost at Christmas

"You know, that was one of the most memorable moments in my life. Touching a girl like that for the first time. I had no idea what I should do, or what I could do, but I kept looking down the row at Dennis and Suzanne, and figured I should be able to do that too. I was in heaven; you were so amazing to be with." I told her, reaching out and taking her hand in mine. Her palm was moist.

"You're telling me? You were the big 9th grader with the learner's permit and motorcycle. Big Man on Campus. The guy every girl wanted. And you wanted me. I had no idea what we should or shouldn't do on a date. I was hoping you knew."

We laughed at that, remembering the intensity of those feelings.

"Given a chance to do it over, I'd have camped out on your doorstep and professed my undying, eternal love the moment you walked out the door." I told her, half serious.

"As I recall, you professed your love for me that evening, just before opening the top of my pants." She said with a wicked grin.

I'm sure I blushed mightily. "I can't really ask forgiveness, but I really am sorry. Sorry now and sorry then. I fantasized about you for years afterwards, thinking of what could have happened if I hadn't been such a jerk. You have no idea how many of my fantasies you starred in back then."

"If only you'd have let me know. Ricky was my first. It could have been you. Given half a chance, it would have been you." She had moved close and was speaking softly.

"And this is my punishment. Knowing how bad I fucked up. Seeing you here, as beautiful as in my dreams, and knowing I've screwed up any chance of being with you." I placed my hand behind her head, stroking her hair.

"I wouldn't say you'd screwed up ANY chance, but you certainly blew that one."

We were looking deeply in each other's eyes, recalling strong, painful feelings. I wanted her now, as I'd wanted her then, with a deep burning need, and I leaned forward those last two inches, and captured her lips with mine.

She slid forward and melted against me, kissing me with every emotion boiling to the surface. She took my hand and placed it on her incredible chest, and I squeezed her breast, my thumb reliving that first caress of her nipple from so many years earlier.

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes, and then broke apart. Her eyes glistened.

"I've got a boyfriend." She confessed.

I nodded understanding.

"If I didn't..."

I reached forward pressing my index finger to her lips. "I know. I missed my chance. It's my loss."

We just sat side by side a minute, in silence.

"You know," she said softly, "what you did to me that night, that was part of the problem."

"I know. I'm sorry if I stepped over the line." I said, even now embarrassed at the liberties I'd taken.

"No, not anything wrong. What you did TO me, how you made me feel. You made me cream my jeans more than once that night. It was the first time I'd ever come. I'd heard about it, but it was almost unreal. Your fingers just drove me wild. It was over a year before another guy was able to do the same." She put her hand between her legs, seemingly remembering that first night.

"That makes two of us. I don't know if you knew, but I came in my pants too, and you never even touched me there. By the time I got home I was a terrible sticky mess. I snuck out and threw that underwear away before my mother could find them and ask uncomfortable questions." I told her, laughing.

She gave me an odd little look, and then slid around the tree, placing its 3 foot wide trunk between us and the house. She reached out for me, and of course I followed.

"Could I...I mean would you mind..." She seemed lost for words.

"What? Just ask. I certainly owe you one." I told her.

She didn't ask, she just started unbuckling my belt. "I always wondered, and never really had a chance to find out." With the belt open she unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. "I mean, that night, you got to find out pretty much ALL about me, but I didn't..." I lifted my hips and let her pull my pants down a short ways, and then she reached up and pulled my underwear down exposing my fully erect monument to her sexiness. "I knew it, you bastard. Look at that."

I didn't have to look. I knew it pretty well. And it was certainly standing tall and making me proud.

She took me in hand and stroked me up and down, which after all the discussion and reminiscing was almost enough to get me off. "I just knew it. This should have been my first." She slowly stroked me up and down, and then she leaned over and took me in her mouth for just a second, sucking me deep and then releasing me.

That was it. It was too much for me, and I stood up and shot my wad a good two feet out from where we were sitting. She giggled, as she helped me through my release, then pulled my underwear up back over my still dripping cock, and wiped her hand on the front of my briefs, before helping me pull my jeans back up.

"If I wasn't tied up, I'd have you paying reparations," she told me as we both stood, and she slapped my hands away from my belt and finished straightening me out herself.

"Let's consider it a delayed payoff. If things don't workout for you, maybe we can try it again. Rochester isn't THAT far from Amherst." Little did I know what the future held in store for us, but that's a different story.

We walked back to the house hand-in-hand, laughing at the folly of youth, from the wizened experience of our 18 and 19 years. She had to leave shortly after, as did we, and I kissed her goodbye at the door.

Once the door was closed I heard an exclamation from behind me. I turned to Tommy who said, "Now I've seen everything."

"Amen," said Jack.

"What?" I asked.

"After how you treated her after our first date, I was certain you were on her shit-list for life." Jack explained.

"Absolutely." Tommy chimed in. "Sheri said that Kathryn fantasized about doing mean and nasty things to you for years. I mean, hell, you did use her pretty bad."

"I was a dope. I did some things I'd never done before, and was so embarrassed I didn't know how to even face her. So I screwed up and avoided her. I just made my apologies and we worked things out. I think she understands that I didn't try to be mean; I was just young and stupid. I didn't know what I was doing, and regretted it for years." I told them.

"Geez. I always wondered how you could pass on that, when she was so available to you. You really did fuck up, didn't you?" Tommy pointed out.

"Yep, not the first time, and I'm certain not the last. But we've buried the hatchet it seems." I answered

"I'm just astounded that hatchet isn't in your back." Jack added.

We left just a short while after that. We had one last visit to make. Teri Branson was passing through town, and wanted to see us if she could. She was just there for the day, and none of us wanted to miss out on that chance.

The summer before 10th grade, I'd practically lived at Teri's. It was football time, and we were doing twice-a-days. We'd have morning practice, then a break so we wouldn't be out all day in the noon-time Florida summer sun. After the break it was afternoon practice. Teri was at our school and I never really knew her until that summer. She lived only a block from Mike, and we had run into her one day out washing the family car. We struck up a conversation, and the rest was history. I spent every football break at her house that summer. Mike didn't play football, but I'd pick him up on the way over there, and we'd hang out. She had a pool table, and a private rec-room with a stand-up arcade game. Her mother would always bring us snacks and drinks.

Teri had not been popular, and was new to the school as well. But in a period of just a few months she went from a boyish figured tom-boy, to a devastatingly beautiful teen. Her breasts seemed to almost explode outwards, and once we'd met her mom, we knew where she got it from. She lost some weight, traded glasses for contacts, grew tits, lost the braces, and suddenly this beauty was in our midst, and nobody even knew about her but us. She was our secret. Tommy was going to a different high-school from me and Mike, but we still hung together most of the summer, and we had to let him in on our secret. The closest we'd come to having anything happen was a bizarre game of spin-the-bottle underneath the pool table. Mike, Tommy, me and Teri. Just an excuse for us to take turns kissing her. Her father was being transferred again at the end of the summer. I told her I was going to have a birthday party, and that we were going to play spin-the-bottle, I had hoped she'd be there, but now she was leaving. We were all upset. Tommy suggested we play now, since she couldn't make it then, and we did. It was strange but wonderful. Two weeks later she was gone.

We met Teri at the mall, our planned rendezvous. We couldn't miss her; she was the center of a lot of attention. And still gorgeous. We ran up to her and had hugs all around.

"I can only stay about 20 minutes," she told us with a pout.

"Damn," was all I could say.

So the three of us toured the mall, observing all the changes. It had been brand new the year we had been together. We grabbed some drinks, and wandered back outside, our time almost up, and barely even caught up.

"Teri, I have a confession." I told her. "I know we acted pretty much like friends, but I was crazy about you. That summer I went home every evening and dreamed of you."

"Hell, we all did." Tommy admitted.

"We were such idiots," she said. She reached up to my collar and pulled me down for a kiss. Teri stood maybe 5 foot 1, so I had at least a foot on her in height. Bent over I let her kiss me, and I returned it eagerly. Finally she released me.

"I was so confused. One day I'd like you, and then the next day you," she said nodding around the group, "and then you. I kept wondering who was going to be my first real boyfriend. I just knew it was going to be one of you. And then it was all over." She looked up at me. "I STILL dream about you sometimes."

All we could do was laugh it off, and say we'd get together sometime. She was living in Phoenix now, finishing high school, and it looked like she'd be going to Stanford. It was going to be hard to ever make that commute work out, not that she didn't seem like it would be worth the effort. Then her parents drove up. We said hi to her mom (who had been a secret fantasy of mine back then) and then with a last set of hugs it was goodbye to Teri.

It was getting late so we dropped Mike back off at his house, driving mostly in quiet. I imagine we were all lost in thought over the quirks of fate and what might have been. For me, it was thoughts of Kathryn and Teri, two incredible opportunities that any teen would kill for, and I'd let them slip through my fingers.

We dropped Mike off, but didn't go inside. As it was we were running late, and knew that if we went in, it would be a while before we got out of there. From Mike's it was a 5 minute drive back to Tommy's, but we drove past Teri's old house, just for nostalgia's sake.

At Tommy's we were running late. Dinner was going to be at 6:00 pm, and somehow we'd burned the whole day. It was 5:45 before we even walked in the door, and we both wanted to clean up before dinner. The kid's rooms were served by two separate bathrooms, one at the end of the hall, and one off of Greg's room. So I stripped down to my shorts, and went to take my shower.

I hadn't expected the bathroom to be full. Sheri was in their, applying the last of her makeup. Fortunately (or unfortunately) she was dressed.

When I walked in, she gave a squeal, and came over and gave me a big hug.

"I can't believe you're here! You're looking good." She said, stepping back and giving me the once over.

"Wow, Sheri, you look great!" was all I could say. She had always been pretty. But the difference between a 15 year old Sheri and this one was night and day. The more mature Sheri was a beautiful young woman.

"Thanks," she said, "I'll be out of here in a second, and you can have the place to yourself. I'm dying to talk to you."

"I'll be here all night." I joked, stepping back into the room I was using, before my underwear had to undergo any more strain.

I sat on the bed waiting, and after just a minute or so she poked her head in and said "It's all yours." She left the door open and walked out the other side of the bathroom. So that was one change at least that I hadn't noticed. Back in the day, this was Greg's bathroom. But since then someone had taken out the linen closet, and the old closet door now opened into Sheri's room. In retrospect it should have been obvious. With Greg away, the bathroom had a lot of stuff in it, although very neat. If I'd opened a cabinet or drawer, I would have seen all the makeup and girl's things. I was using Sheri's bathroom.

I rapidly cleaned up and dressed. I was in a bit of a hurry, wanting to still wrap a couple of small presents for my hosts. I had bought several tapes for my sister as a Christmas present, and decided to gift Tommy with one of them. I also had a photo in a frame for my mom, and decided to make the frame a family gift. It was simple, hand-made by yours truly from apple-wood. After borrowing some paper, tape, and scissors, I was ready to join everyone else just a few minutes later.

* * *

What had started out with the potential for so much disappointment, my first Christmas away from home, was actually quite wonderful. The family embraced me and treated me as one of their own. Dinner was scrumptious, a Christmas ham, with the full complement of side dishes. After dinner we chatted, drank a little too much spiked eggnog, and told stories of the last few years.

I sat close to Sheri when I could, beside her at the dinner table, and next to her on the couch while we had our eggnog. I tried to engage her in some quiet conversation of our own, but the setting was all wrong for that, and I eventually abandoned those attempts. It was nice enough just to be near her.

Tommy's step-father Dave insisted I call Santiago, even though I knew the price would be outrageous, and I did. I gave my family my Christmas wishes, and told them how much I missed them and was looking forward to seeing them in a couple of days. Everyone in the room took a minute to say hello and share season's greetings. I had to spend a few minutes trying to get my Mom to stop crying at the far end, before we finally were able to hang-up.

The small ones had to go to bed relatively early, and so we all got to open one gift the night before, as was their tradition. I gave Tommy his gift, and his mother opened the family gift and everyone acted pleased. In turn, they had bought me a present which I opened. It was two books for the trip, and they had a card for me. Inside was $50. I was completely in shock.

"Dear Steve,

Your short visit was a wonderful Christmas gift to us all. Thanks so much for choosing to spend this Christmas with us. Here's some mad money for the trip home. We all love you.

Dave, June, Robert, Sheri, John and Jean"

I was deeply touched by the gesture. I went over and gave Tommy's Mom a big hug, thanking her for the card and books. The kids jumped up with presents of their own, and I got two new drawings for my dorm room, as well as some mystery invention from John, which was supposed to be a spy tool to stop people from breaking into my room. I thanked them profusely, and they were put to bed shortly after.

Dave, Tommy and I discussed the logistics of my morning bus ride back to Charleston. It left at 7:30 am, but was only about 15 minutes away, so we figured on getting a 7:00am start. We relaxed around the fire, ruminating on the poor souls who had the job of driving that bus all day Christmas day.

There was a guitar in the corner, Greg's. I was surprised he hadn't taken it with him. I went over and grabbed it, and finding it miserably out of tune, I tuned it up.

"Play something Christmassy", Tommy's Mom asked, and so I played a couple of tunes. I'm a fair guitarist; I was studying guitar at the Eastman School of Music since it was convenient, and ROTC was picking up the tab, and had improved quite a bit from the days of our first band. I got rave reviews from my small audience, and took requests for a while, before we broke it up. The parents still had some work to do for the kids, and Tommy and I wanted to hit the hay early, in order to catch that 7:30 bus.

More hugs and kisses all around, with a firm hand-shake for Dave, and I retired to my room to finish my packing. I got ready for bed, dressed in boxers and a t-shirt, laid out my clothes for the morning, and completed my packing. I had one last thing I wanted to do before hitting the sack, so I went back into the bathroom, and knocked on the opposite door into Sheri's room.

I heard a muffled "Come in" or something to that effect, and opened the door to find Sheri sitting up in bed, brushing her long blonde hair. She was dressed in a nearly see-through pale green nightie that took my breath away.

"Hi." I felt incredibly awkward, like I was 16 all over again.

She looked up at me, giving me a quizzically upraised eyebrow.

"I had a gift for you, but I felt kind of silly giving it to you out there. I hope you don't mind that I waited until now." I handed her a small leather pouch.

She took it, laying her brush to the side, and opened it, pulling out a small cross. She stretched out the cord, and looked at me in surprise.

"But this is your mountain cross! You always wear this!" She said, looking at me with a strange look I couldn't quite fathom.

The cross was one I had found mountain climbing several years earlier. I had been in a small accident. I'd fallen into a glacier fed stream on a mountain trip, while collecting firewood in a storm. I'd almost frozen before I'd made it back to the cabin. Literally. I thought I was going to die. I was staggering the last 20 feet to the building, in a daze, when a friend returning from the outhouse ran into me, and dragged me inside to warm up. The next morning I found a small ivory cross on a rotted leather lanyard at almost the very place I had climbed out of the stream, and I had worn it for years since then. Sheri knew the story. I had told her the whole thing one evening when I had been giving her driving lessons.

I don't know what had motivated me to give it to her, but I had had this urge, and I've always been a pretty impetuous person.

"I just want you to have it." I explained.

She patted the bed beside her for me to sit down then she handed me the cross to put around her neck and turned her back to me. I passed my hands over the head, letting the cross dangle in the valley between her breasts, and she reached back and pulled her hair up and out of the way, so I could latch the necklace on her.

When I was done she turned to me, and fingering the cross she thanked me.

"I got the strangest call today." She told me.

"Strange how?" I asked.

"Kathryn called me. We haven't talked probably in over a year, but she called me out of the blue, and we talked about nothing but you for over an hour." She said with a teasing smile.

I could feel my face burning from the blush.

We were real quiet for a bit. Then she spoke up softly, not looking at me at all, just looking down at her hands.

"Do you remember the skating party where you asked me to skate, like 5 times?"

"Do I ever! My hand was so sweaty I was embarrassed to hold yours, but didn't know how to dry it off, and I wasn't good enough a skater to make a real dance out of it." I laughed.

"I thought you liked me, and were going to ask me out, but you never did. Why not?" She asked.

The memory was embarrassing, and I thought about it a bit before confessing. "I had skated with Kathryn earlier in the evening, and she asked me who I liked. I told her I would answer by the end of the evening. Later, just when I was trying to get the nerve up to skate with you again, and ask you to sit by me on the Pensacola bus trip, Jack found me and told me that I had better ask Kathryn to skate. She was waiting for me to tell her something. Well, I did ask her to skate, and she reminded me of our previous conversation.