Lost Girl Ch. 16

"But why would he just kiss you out of the blue?" Misty's brows lightly crinkled. "Usually a guy only kisses you if you give them a signal, or something."

"Tristan doesn't need a signal," Claudia responded. "He's very perceptive, he picks up on everything."

"So if he picks up on everything, then that means you *were* sending him a signal. Just a subconscious one."

Claudia blinked in surprise, digesting the words that Misty had spoken.

"Do you like Tristan?" Eager to receive the answer, Misty leaned forward just slightly. "I mean, I know it's none of my business or anything, I'm just curious."

"Maybe a little."

Claudia didn't feel like elaborating so she left it there. But the look that Misty was giving her seemed to convey that she knew Claudia was holding back.

"What, you expect me to spill my deepest inner secrets, or something?" Claudia crossed her arms against her chest. "I don't know you, and you don't know me, so let's not talk about personal stuff, okay?"

"If you're worried about me snitching on you to Lucas, that's not what this is about," she defensively replied. "It's just I've noticed you and Tristan together around school, and I can tell you two are pretty close."

"Yeah..."

"I'm not implying anything. Just saying, the boy *definitely* has a crush on you."

"I guess." Claudia's arms remained crossed against her chest.

"Okay. You don't wanna talk, that's cool." She grabbed a magazine from the end table next to her chair, flipped it open, and began to casually glance through it.

With the book she'd been reading still resting on her lap, Claudia picked it back up to continue reading. But it wasn't long before she lowered the book and focused her attention on Misty.

"Okay. So I do like Tristan. A lot." As Claudia spoke the words, Misty glanced up from her magazine, brows lifting at the unexpected proclamation. "But the thing is, I really like Lucas, as well."

"Oh." Suddenly at a loss for words, it took awhile before Misty spoke again. "Well which one do you like more?"

"Hard to say," Claudia replied. "They're both really nice, just in different ways, you know?"

"Yeah, I get what you mean."

And it seemed that Misty truly did, because as she shifted her gaze beyond Claudia's shoulder, a dreamy look came into her eyes.

"So you and Lucas..." Unsure how she should state the next few words, Claudia took a moment to think it through. "Do you still like him? Because if you do, you can admit it. I wouldn't like hate you, or anything."

"I'm not here to get back with him, if that's what you're wondering," Misty said. "I just came to offer my support as a friend."

"Okay."

"But if you want the honest truth, I do still have feelings for him."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that."

"I'll probably always have feelings for him. He was the first guy I ever slept with."

A silence fell, hanging between them for what seemed like minutes, rather than seconds. Not the slightest bit surprised at Misty's proclamation, Claudia just there, purposely looking off into the distance, rather than maintaining eye contact with Misty. But after nearly five minutes of the two women not speaking at all, Misty became the first to reinitiate the conversation.

"I know this is super personal to ask, but have you had sex with him yet?"

"No."

"So you're still a virgin?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. I thought he would have dumped you long ago."

Claudia side-eyed her.

"I'm sorry, that sounded horrible, didn't it? It's just I'm really surprised he hasn't moved on yet."

"Well, maybe it's because he actually likes me for who I am."

"Oh, I know he does," Misty replied. "I mean, he's been chasing after you the entire school year."

"And now here we are, almost graduating." The realization made Claudia contemplate just how quickly time had passed. "Wow, I'll never forget how nervous I was that first day of school."

"And I'll never forget how much I hated your guts."

Claudia's eyes turned cold as she stared Misty down.

"Hated, as in *past * tense," Misty clarified. "I can honestly say I've worked through those issues, and am no longer jealous of you."

"Oh." Her eyes went soft again, and the rigidity in her body instantly loosened. "Well that's good. Because I'm not jealous of you anymore, either."

"That dress you were wearing the first day of school..." Misty's voice temporarily trailed off, and a smile crept onto her face. "What did I say about it again?"

"You told me the 90's were over. And that, 'nobody dresses like that anymore'."

"Oh yeah, that's right." Her smile grew bigger as she posed the next question. "Wasn't it a velvet babydoll dress, with those big wide sleeves?"

"They're called bell sleeves," Claudia said. "And yes, that's what the dress looked like."

"When I first saw you I remember thinking, wow, what a unique dress that is. Then the next thought that popped into my mind, was that you looked like a gothic hippie."

"A gothic hippie?" Claudia lifted a brow in amusement. "Does such a thing even exist?"

"I don't know." Misty was still grinning, showing off her straight, white teeth. "But if it does, you would have definitely been it."

No longer able to hold back a smile, Claudia allowed it to spread across her face.

"I actually loved that dress," Misty confessed. "But I didn't like the way that Lucas was staring at you. So I decided to try and tear you down by making fun of it."

"Wow." Amazed at her honesty, Claudia gave Misty a thoughtful look. "I'm really surprised you're telling me all of this."

"Well like I said, I've worked through my issues, so there's no jealousy towards you anymore. Plus, we'll be graduating in the next three weeks, so it's probably time we end this feud and leave the high school shit behind us, right?"

"Yeah." A nod of agreement preceded her words. "You're right, it *is* time to grow up."

The words held more weight than Claudia had intended them to, and it seemed that both girls had been reminded that the end of an era was just on the horizon.

"Are you scared?" Misty asked, her eyes now wide with seriousness.

"Of what, leaving high school?"

She nodded.

"Yeah. But I'm also really excited, because I'll get to move off to college and live in the city as an adult."

"That'll probably be easier for you than it will for me," Misty said. "You've already lived on the outside, so you know what it's like. All I know is rez life."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Claudia said. "It's not so scary. Will just take some getting used to, you know?"

"Yeah."

"You going to college?"

Misty nodded. "Seattle University. What about you?"

"University of Montana."

"That's a good school."

"So is Seattle University. Congratulations on being accepted."

"Thanks, same to you."

"So I hope this isn't too personal to ask," Claudia began, "but after you lost your virginity to Lucas, did you regret it?"

"No, I was completely ready. But if I was to do it all over again, I'd have made Lucas wait a little bit longer."

"Did he treat you any differently after you gave it up?"

"Well, he wasn't quite as attentive and he did start flirting with other girls again, but overall he still treated me really well."

"So how did you guys end up in an open relationship? Was it before or after you had sex?"

"After. And I was the one who suggested it."

"Seriously?" Completely flabbergasted, she stared at Misty. "Why would you want to have an open relationship?"

"Because I have abandonment issues. And I figured that if I allowed Lucas to have sex with other girls, I would be able to hold onto him forever."

For the first time since meeting Misty nine months ago, Claudia felt as if she was seeing her for who she truly was. No facades, no violent bursts of jealousy or snarky put-downs; those had all been shields, defense mechanisms to hide the pain that she was continually carrying around.

Misty was a real and honest person, someone who was brave enough to admit their not so admirable qualities, and Claudia couldn't help but have respect for the girl.

"I push people away before they can leave me," Misty continued. "That's the way it's been ever since my parents died."

"I'm sorry you lost them." Claudia's tone held genuine concern. "How long ago was it?"

"Three years."

"That isn't so long at all."

Curiosity made Claudia want to question how it happened, but Misty's eyes were becoming watery, so she decided against it.

"Anyways, that's pretty much the story of me and Lucas. He did ask me to go steady once, but I told him no. I figured he was totally okay with leaving things as they were, because he seemed to enjoy the freedom of an open relationship. But I later found out through a friend of his, that he was really disappointed I wouldn't commit to him."

"So I guess he's not so into sleeping around after all..."

"Well he obviously enjoys the freedom that it gives him," Misty said. "But if he really falls for a girl, he's the type of guy who will commit and be with only her."

"Yeah, I'm starting to see that about him." Claudia offered a little nod in agreement of Misty's words.

"Word of advice, though," Misty said. "When you do have sex with him, make sure you double up on protection."

Claudia's brows lifted in a questioning way.

"Oh It's not like I'm saying he's dirty or anything. I'm just mentioning it so you won't get pregnant, like I did."

"Lucas got you pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you guys use a condom? And if you got pregnant, then what happened to the baby? Did you get an abortion?"

"We did use a condom," Misty stated. "But it broke, and the morning after pill failed. "I thought about getting an abortion, but Lucas begged me to keep it. Said it would bring bad medicine to the reservation, and that we as Native people needed to increase our population, not purposely diminish it."

"So you gave it up for adoption?"

"No, I miscarried."

"Oh...I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well...just wasn't meant to be," she said with a sad little smile.

For a few minutes they were both completely quiet, but soon Misty was once again engaging Claudia in conversation.

"I'm sure you have your reasons for deciding to hold off on sex with Lucas, but I just gotta say, you don't know what you're missing, girl."

Claudia's brows lifted, muscles going stiff as she looked at Misty.

"I'm sorry, I know he's your boyfriend now. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's okay." Claudia's posture began to loosen, and with curiosity in her voice she asked, "So what did you mean by that? Just what exactly am I missing out on?"

"Well not to give details away or anything, but a guy doesn't have sex with as many girls as Lucas has, and not have some awesome sexual techniques, know what I'm saying?"

"He's that good, huh?"

"Not good, not great, but excellent."

"Well he does know how to go down on a girl."

"That *tongue* of his." The memory of it caused a sigh to be pushed from her lips. "It's really magical, isn't it?"

"Yep. It's definitely something."

"See, this guy I'm currently with is pretty good in bed too, but when it comes to oral sex, he's *completely* clueless."

"So teach him." A grin crossed Claudia's face before she asked, "I didn't know you were going out with someone."

"Yeah. I'm surprised you haven't seen us around school."

"Is he the guy you always sit with at lunch? Wears his hair in a short ponytail and always has that green parka jacket on?"

"Yep, that's him."

"Oh, I didn't know you guys were a couple. I never noticed you holding hands or anything, so I just figured you were friends."

"We were, up until a few days before prom. That's when he finally decided to ask me out."

"Well he seems like a nice guy, so good for you."

"Thanks, and he really is a sweetie.

The sound of rubber soled shoes squeaking on the linoleum floor alerted Claudia and Misty that the nurse was approaching, and with clipboard in hand, she came to a stop directly in front of them.

"The patient is now ready to receive visitors, and from the sign in sheet on my clipboard, it looks like Misty Red Bird is first in line."

"Actually, I think Claudia should go first," Misty said. "She is his girlfriend, after all."

Wait a minute." The nurse looked up from her clipboard. "Half an hour ago, when I asked you two which one of you was his girlfriend, both of you answered 'I am'."

"And she was telling the truth. I lied." The smirk on Misty's lips was faint, but still visible. "I'm actually not his girlfriend. I only said that to piss Claudia off."

The chuckle that bubbled from Claudia's throat was quickly followed by a snicker from Misty.

"So you're not his girlfriend," the nurse said while looking at Misty, "but you are," She was now focusing on Claudia for confirmation.

"That's correct."

"Okay..." The RN lifted her eyebrows, then shook her head, as if to convey that she found the entire situation ridiculous. "So which of you wants to go first?"

"Misty can go," Claudia said.

"But why? You're his girlfriend."

"I'm in a good mood, okay Misty? Now go ahead before I change my mind."

"Hey, thanks. I won't take long, promise." She retrieved a large baggie from her purse, then stood to her feet in preparation of following the nurse.

"Wait a minute. What is that?" Focusing intently on the baggie that Misty held, the RN eyed it suspiciously, as if it contained poison.

Equally curious, Claudia also studied the ziplock bag, which was filled with a variety of exotic looking dried herbs. It was the pungent scent, however - which reminded Claudia of vinegar and licorice - that really made her wonder just what it was.

"It's a natural remedy specially formulated to control seizures and convulsions," Misty said to the nurse.

"Do you know the exact ingredients?"

"Of course. I made it myself."

"So it's homemade."

"I'm a skilled herbalist. It's a tradition in our culture to use natural remedies as often as we can."

"Name a few of the herbs you used."

"Skullcap, hyoscyamus, passiflora incarnata ..."

Misty may as well have been speaking Greek, because a blank expression crossed the nurses face.

"Well, it will *definitely* have to be cleared by the doctor before we allow the patient to use it. But okay, you're good to go, so follow me back to Room 242."

Misty slung her purse over her shoulder, but before trailing along behind the nurse, she offered Claudia some words in parting.

"So I'm glad we talked. You're actually a pretty cool girl, and I'm sorry for anything I ever said or did to offend you."

"Hey, it's done and in the past. So as far as I'm concerned, it's history."

"Cool. Well, enjoy the rest of your weekend and I'll see you around school."

"Yep. See you."

With a spring in her step, Misty followed the nurse towards Lucas's room, but only got so far as a few steps before she halted and turned to face Claudia.

"Oh, and I wanna apologize for pouring that egg nog on your hair at the Christmas party. It was totally wrong of me, and I shouldn't have done that."

"Forgiven."

"Right on, thanks for being so cool about it."

As Misty gave a little wave so did Claudia. Then with a turn on her heel she was off, leaving Claudia to watch her exit the waiting room.