Lost Girl Ch. 19

Unable to respond, Claudia momentarily looked down at her hands. But as a thought suddenly went through her head, she looked up at him with a steady gaze.

"Are you still attracted to Kimi? I mean, if it had turned out that she'd liked you and actually given you a chance, would you have pursued a serious relationship?"

"Yes, but it never would have worked out, and I knew that from the first moment that I saw her."

"So if you knew that she wasn't a match for you, then you must have known that I was."

"Well yeah, I picked up on a lot of things that first day you arrived on the rez. But at the beginning of the year, I was intently focused on Kimi. So I didn't fully realize you were the one until we hung out one on one."

Still holding hands with Claudia, Tristan caressed the tip of his thumb against the sensitive skin of her inner palm.

"With Kimi it was more of a lustful thing. But with you and I, there's a spiritual connection. It's real and deep between us, not superficial and fleeting."

The words were completely true, Claudia knew that they were. And as she and Tristan sat face to face with eyes locked, a hyper-awareness suddenly came over her body.

"You're that girl for me, Claudia. You *know* that you are."

And she did, without a doubt. But her tongue was all tangled from the intensity of his expression, so she did little more than look at him with adoration.

"Say it." Lifting his hands to her face, he tenderly cupped it.

"Say what?" She quietly asked, but deep down inside, she already knew.

"That you'll be mine." No longer just gazing, Tristan stared into her eyes, as if probing her soul for an answer. "I want you to be my girlfriend, Claudia."

Now hammering in her chest, Claudia's heartbeat resounded in her ears. Her breaths came faster and a fuzziness took over her mind, but she was still observant enough to see

the imploring look that Tristan was giving her.

"I don't know, Tristan. I mean, Lucas and I only broke up two weeks ago, so -"

"Then I'll wait," he quickly said. His voice was firm, jaw setting in determination before he spoke again. "You need time to heal, it's no problem."

"I think that'd be best," she softly replied. "So I can work though these lingering feelings for Lucas."

"Yeah, okay."

Averting his focus from her face, Tristan looked down at their clasped hands. But as she softly pressed a kiss against his forehead, he lifted his gaze once more.

"It's not a no," she softly said. "I just feel like you deserve to have me completely, so I can concentrate on *us*, and not have thoughts of Lucas sabotaging anything that we develop."

"Understood." Lifting her hand to his, he tenderly kissed the back of it. "Taking it slow isn't such a bad idea, actually. It'll just make those flames burn even hotter."

A smile slowly spread across her face.

"Oh yeah, you know what I'm taking about." His voice had grown husky, eyes darkening with desire as he added, "You want me and I want you. Only a matter of time before it finally happens."

"True," she replied, and without even thinking, she slipped her fingers through his hair.

"So if we're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet, then what are we?" Tristan asked. "Because it seems to me that we're sorta in-between."

"Why put a label on it?" Claudia asked. "We are what we are, and I think that's perfectly fine."

"Alright. I'm cool with that."

Stillness fell over them for a solid three minutes, and content to let it linger, Tristan and Claudia enjoyed it. Rather than continue to hold her hand, Tristan was now skimming his fingertips along Claudia's palm. Stimulated by the languid back and forth sensation, she felt her entire body flood with warmth.

"You have really long lashes," she said while studying his face. "They're thick and black and totally luscious."

"Oh." A short pause intercepted his words. "Is that good, or...?"

"It's great," she said with a smile, and as he smiled right back, she noticed his eyes visibly brighten.

"So I know you're not my girlfriend yet, but I want you to know that you're under my protection."

"Okay." The look she gave him was curious, but before she could question him, Tristan continued on.

"We have a telepathic link, so if you're ever in danger or just feel like you need me, call out my name."

"And that's it?" She asked. "Just call your name, and you'll automatically know what it is that I need?"

"I'll get a feeling," Tristan stated. "It's not something I can really explain, but I'll definitely be able to tell if you're in trouble."

"Okay."

"But in order for that connection to stay open between us, we'll need to strengthen the cord."

Claudia's expression conveyed uncertainty.

"The spiritual cord," Tristan elaborated. "With every relationship you form, a cord is created, connecting you to that other person. Cords between relatives and friends are usually weakest, but as you move up a level to parent and child, the strength of the cord substantially increases."

"So parents and children have the strongest link," Claudia said. "The unbreakable one, right?"

"Yes. But those who are romantically attached have cords that are just as strong, if not even more so."

"What if they aren't romantically attached?" She asked. "Can they still strengthen the cords?"

"Sure," Tristan replied. "But both have to be willing to open up and share their feelings. If there's a solid trust between two people, they won't ever be afraid to say exactly what it is that they're feeling."

"I think you and I are already pretty much like that," Claudia said. "I've always felt like I could share anything with you...it's like I feel really comfortable with you, in a way that I don't with anyone else."

"Likewise," he said before adding, "I've never had anyone accept me quite like you have, Claude, and I really appreciate that."

"Not sure how anyone couldn't. I mean, not only are you super cute, but you're really sensitive and totally sweet. So that's a major bonus, you know?"

Tristan's eyes sparkled, lips curving into a smile as he fingered her soft, thick curls. Rather than simply caress, he marveled at the texture, slowly stretching out a tight ringlet before allowing it to snap back to its original shape. There was such gentleness in his fingers that she was tempted to close her lids, but the beauty of his dark, soulful eyes kept her focus pinned to his face.

"Your hair..." he said while leaning in even closer. "It's smells all fruity...like strawberries, or maybe even apples."

"That'd definitely be my shampoo," Claudia said. "My mom's been bugging me to try it for ages, but I only recently started using it on my hair."

"Well it smells really nice." The tips of his fingers were now grazing her scalp. "But then again, you always smell good."

"Thanks," she said rather breathlessly.

"So now that we're getting closer to one another, I guess it'd be good to mention that I've never had a girlfriend."

"Oh." Surprised by the suddenness of his statement, Claudia gave him a curious look. "So you're still a virgin?"

Tristan shook his head.

"Oh, okay..." The look that she gave him was now questioning.

"Does it bother you that I'm not?"

"No, not at all. I'm just a little curious as to who it was that you lost it with."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Tristan shifted uneasily in his seat, and noting that his posture had gone slightly rigid, Claudia instantly regretted asking the question.

"I'm sorry, that's none of my business. I shouldn't have asked."

"It's fine," Tristan said, and as the tension gradually eased from his muscles, she noticed a casualness return to his demeanor. "It's important to be open with each other, so I'm perfectly fine with telling you about it."

With palpable eagerness, Claudia waited for him to continue.

"Her name is Shauna, and she was part of this missionary outreach program that came to the reservation. They were here for two weeks last winter, passing out food and clothing to those in need. They also gave an assembly at the high school, and that's how I ended up meeting her."

"Was she your age?" Claudia asked. "Or older?"

"When I was a junior, she was a senior. So she was a little older than I was."

"So you were together for two weeks, and then she went back home with the missionary outreach program..."

Tristan nodded. "Yeah. It wasn't long at all, but you still develop feelings, you know?"

Claudia nodded.

"To be completely honest, I was reluctant to get physical with her, but she was pretty persuasive, so I guess you could say she hooked me right in."

Without even realizing it, Claudia's lips pulled into a thin, straight line, but on reminding herself that the past was history, her jealousy gradually lessened.

"We both knew it was a temporary thing, but that didn't stop me from hoping for more." Just briefly, Tristan broke eye contact, but that didn't stop Claudia from seeing the disappointment in his eyes. "When the two weeks came to an end, I asked Shauna if I could come visit her sometime. She only lived a couple hours away, so I figured I'd drive out on the weekends...maybe eventually work up to being her boyfriend or something, but she told me that her dad was really racist, and that he'd never allow her to date a Native guy."

No longer jealous, Claudia now only felt sympathy. But it was the way Tristan dryly swallowed that made her internalize his pain.

"She wouldn't give me her phone number, so I asked for her email, but she wasn't okay with that, either. She said it'd be best if we never spoke or saw each other again, and ever since then, I haven't heard from her."

"Wow." For awhile she just sat there, feeling uncertain of what to say. But as the silence around them continually thickened, she realized that it was her who would have to break through the stillness. "I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two. Seems like you really liked her, so I know that had to hurt."

"Yeah, it did."

Gazing down at the bedspread, Tristan's face took on a stony expression. But as Claudia reached out to lightly stroke his forearm, he lifted his gaze to meet hers.

"She was a fool to give you up," Claudia said. "If it had been me, I'd have happily dated you and told my racist dad to shove it."

A ghost of a smile touched Tristan's lips at her words, and as if suddenly remembering that the past had no bearing upon the present, his features gradually softened up.

"Thanks, Claude. You always do know how to lift me up with your words."

"What kind of a friend would I be if I didn't?"

"I don't know," Tristan replied. "But I wish that you would stop calling me your friend. We're more than that to each other now, aren't we?"

"Well, yeah..." she slowly said. "I mean of course we are, Tristan. But I don't want to rush into another relationship."

"I know, and I really did mean it earlier when I said I would wait for you to become my girlfriend. But it's kinda hard to be patient, when you're sitting right in front of me smelling so good and looking so beautiful."

Claudia's eyelids lowered, lashes brushing her cheeks as she lowered her gaze. A flush traveled from her face all the way down to her chest, but as Tristan skimmed his toes along hers, a pervading heat began to course through her body.

Now preoccupied with his scent, Claudia noticed it was clean and fresh smelling, like freshly washed laundry that had been hanging out in the sun. She also took note of the way he seemed to be gradually moving in closer, but by the time she realized he was leaning in for a kiss, she was already weak with desire.

Soft and warm, Tristan's lips just barely pressed against hers, as if waiting to see how she would respond to his advance. His exhalations fell hot and moist against her lips, making her forget just about everything except the feel of his breath.

Her own respirations had gone ragged along with his, and knowing she was helpless to resist what had been set in motion, Claudia surrendered.

Full and receptive, Claudia's lips moved slowly, relishing the warmth and softness of his mouth. Rather than devour her lips, Tristan seemed to savor them, allowing her to lead for the first few moments before intensifying the kiss.

Somewhere along the way his palms came to rest against her waist, sliding sensually along the curves that flared into her still developing hips.

Like melted butter, the kiss was lusciously rich, filled with an electrifying sensuousness that made her nerve endings stir and tingle. Nearly sucked dry of breath, they were gradually forced to pull apart, but their faces remained close, eyes solidly locked as they replenished their oxygen.

More than ready to shed her jacket, Claudia quickly shrugged out of it, then tossed it carelessly to the floor. With a swift, fluid movement, she slipped off her open toe sandals, and after reclining on the bed, gave Tristan a smile so that he would join her.

Mimicking her position, he adjusted his body so that he was laying on his side. He wrapped an arm securely around her, then cradled her against his manly form. Uttering a sigh in response, Claudia rested her face against his chest, then skimmed her fingers along the knot of his prominent Adam's Apple.

"This is nice," he said while tightening his hold so that her body pressed closer. "You feel so soft and warm, and you fit *perfectly* in my arms."

"We do make a really good fit, don't we?" Now palming his T-shirt clad torso, Claudia marveled at how hard and lean he felt.

"Sure do." Languidly, and with a sensuousness that made a shiver go down Claudia's spine, Tristan slid his foot along the length of her ankle. "The reason we fit so well together, is because both of our ancestors are in total agreement."

"Really?" A wonderous look came into Claudia's eyes. "Are they here in the room with us now, or do you just sense that they're somewhere around?"

"They're on the non-physical plane," Tristan replied. "But I don't have to see them to know that they're joining hands in the spirit world."

"So if they didn't join hands, then we wouldn't be together right now."

"Well we might still have come together, but without the blessing from both of our ancestors, our relationship would be pretty much doomed."

Contemplating the words that had just been said, Claudia immediately thought of Lucas, and in response, an aching tightness began to spread throughout her chest.

"So Lucas and I..." Her voice trailed off just briefly, but it was long enough for Tristan to pick up on the sadness in her voice. "Our ancestors didn't approve of us together, so that's why it didn't work out."

"Well it's not that they didn't approve," Tristan said while tenderly caressing the curve of her jaw. "It's just that you both were meant for other people."

Although she'd already known this to be true, Claudia was relieved to discover that she and Lucas's breakup had been completely unavoidable. For the past two weeks, she'd found herself wondering if she hadn't made a mistake by not sleeping with him.

But now that Tristan had broken down the exact reason why their relationship had been unstable, the uncertainty she'd been carrying around was beginning to dissipate. That didn't stop her from feeling a tinge of sadness, however.

"I'm sorry, Claude." Looking into her eyes with a steady gaze, Tristan gave her a look that was genuinely sympathetic. "I truly wasn't wishing for you guys to break up. I hope you know that."

With a nod, she conveyed that she did. And with Tristan's strong arms lovingly enveloping her in his warmth, she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. So comforted by his masculine embrace, she soon found herself drifting to sleep. A few minutes later, Tristan joined her, still embracing her tenderly as he fell into a state of deep unconsciousness.