Lost Girl in Transition Ch. 23

Biting her lip coquettishly, Claudia was now rubbing his inner thigh.

"Seriously," Lucas said. "I'm trying to be good, here."

"It's just touching."

"Yeah I know, and I really love it. But you know the effect you have on me, Claude. It's real powerful."

And of course she did already know this, but something inside of her was wanting to be naughty, even push the limits a bit.

"I do want you badly, though." Staring deep into her brown eyes, he held her gaze. "More than I've ever wanted any other girl, and I swear to Apistotokiua that's the truth."

"Apisto...."

"...totokiua," Lucas finished. "It means Creator in Blackfoot.

"Oh, cool." Looping her arms around his neck, her face took on a thoughtful expression. "Teach me some other words in your language."

Seemingly pleased by her interest in Blackfoot, Lucas lifted a hand to her neck, gingerly stroking a finger against its graceful length before finally choosing to speak.

"Moksistun," he said to her, and waiting for her to repeat, he stroked her throat again.

"Moksistun."

Nodding his head, he then reached up to touch her mouth, gliding a thumb across her full, beautiful lips.

"Maoii."

"Mouth," Claudia stated.

"Yeah. Now try to pronounce it."

"Maoii," she slowly said, but feeling as if she'd butchered the pronunciation, felt a flush creep across her cheeks.

"Not bad," he said encouragingly. "But the ii's need to be drawn out."

"What about bad words?" Claudia asked. "You going to teach me those, too?"

"If you wanna learn, then sure," he said. "But a sweet mouth like yours shouldn't be cursing."

"When I said bad words, I meant naughty ones. Like things you say during sex."

"Oh." Lifting his brows, Lucas seemed to be contemplating. "Well in that case, sure. But you have to promise to only use them with me."

"Of course," Claudia said. "Just for you and me."

"Speaking of talking dirty, I think It'd be fun to do more of it."

"Right now?"

"No, silly. Whenever we get in the mood and start fooling around."

"Oh," Claudia replied. "Well sure, I'd love to do that."

"You'll have to tell me how far I can go, though," he said. "Because I might get carried away while we're in the moment."

"How carried away?"

"Oh, I can get pretty intense," he said. "Not in a scary way, but just dominating."

"I might like that."

"Not surprising. You've always been pretty naughty."

Claudia's lips curved into a smile.

"So no pressure or anything. But I really can't

wait until you and I make love."

"Oh yeah?" Lifting her fingers to his hair, she began caressing his silky strands.

"Yes," he replied. "And when I say make love, I truly mean it."

Noting the seriousness on his face, Claudia felt a warmth radiate through her chest.

"I'm gonna be gentle with you, really take my time and make sure you enjoy it."

"And I will," Claudia said. "I already know that for a fact."

"Well just so you know, I've been reading up on Tantric Sex."

"Wow." An incredulous took over her features. "So you actually know what that's all about?"

"To a point. I've got the basics down for the most part, but I'm still delving deeper, and learning techniques."

"I don't know anything about it, though," Claudia replied. "So how will I properly participate?"

"As I gradually learn, I'll teach you about it," he replied. "Or you can even read the books with me, if you'd like. But the first time we make love, you don't have to know anything at all. It'll be more about my performance than yours, and what I'll be doing while inside of your body."

"Gotta say, I didn't see this coming at all. I mean I just didn't take you for the type of person who'd be into Tantric Sex."

"Why not?"

Giving a shrug, she took a minute to think it over. "I don't know, I guess because it just seems so different."

"I might not be as deep as Tristan, but I've got a spiritual side, as well."

"I know you do," Claudia said. "It comes through in the way you talk, and also the way you treat me."

A soft expression came into Lucas's eyes, pupils large as he gazed adoringly at her.

"I've never wanted to do this for any other girl," he told her. "But for some reason you bring out this deeper side of me."

Eyes staying locked on his, Claudia continued running her fingers through his long hair.

"I guess part of the reason I'm so serious about this, is because we never got to connect in that deeper way. So I want to make our first time really special. For the both of us, because we really deserve it."

"I agree," she said. "And I feel like our relationship never fully developed, so there's a lot we missed out on doing together, you know?"

"Yeah." Giving a nod, he looked deep into her eyes. "It's not just about educating myself through books, though. I've been preparing my body, as well. Eating certain foods and doing specific exercises to ensure I perform well."

"I'm amazed," Claudia said. "I mean the thought you're putting into it."

"Tantra can heal as well," Lucas stated. "Not only in a physical way, but also spiritually, sexually, and emotionally."

"I didn't know it could do all that," Claudia said.

"Oh yeah." He gently nodded. "And I really think it would do wonderful things for your spirit, Claude. It would not only feel completely amazing to have me inside you, but also heal you on every level."

"If you're talking about the rape, I'm still going through counseling with Tina."

"And that's great," Lucas said. "But I really want to play a part in you properly healing."

"And you think that Tantric Sex would do it..."

"I'm certain it would," he replied. "I've done quite a bit of research, and It's pretty much the top recommended thing to heal a woman who has suffered from sexual trauma."

"It's not your job to heal me," she said. "That's where Tina comes in."

"It's not just about the mental, Claude. There are blocks in the body, as well. They're called energy knots, and they're put there when a person is sexually assaulted."

"And what do these energy knots do?"

"They limit the flow of sexual energy. Which then makes it difficult for a person to fully connect with someone that they love."

"And you learned all of this from a book?"

"I did research online as well," he said.

"But what made you even start?" Claudia asked. "I mean this is unusual stuff, not the kind of thing you would just randomly find while searching the net."

"Because I wasn't randomly searching. I've been seeking information for weeks."

"On Tantric Sex?"

"No, that came a little later."

Inquisitively, she stared into his eyes.

"I found this e-book online," he said. "It's where I first learned about the power of sexual healing, and how to nourish a woman's broken spirit."

"What's the name of it?"

"A Man's Guide to Helping a Woman After Rape. I started reading it a month after you were assaulted, and ever since then, kinda used it as a guide to plan how I was going to help you."

Uncertain of what to say, Claudia allowed a silence to settle between them. But it was a silence that was comfortable, allowing them both to just be utterly still. Deeply touched by his love, Claudia felt a wave of appreciation wash over her.

She'd always know that Lucas cared deeply, and that he was concerned for her emotional state, but knowing he'd gone so far as to actually do research on rape healing, was amazing in a way that made her speechless.

So instead of voicing her feelings she allowed her head to fall forward, dark tendrils of hair concealing her face so that he couldn't see her tears.

"Claudia?" Lifting her chin so that her face was visible, Lucas checked out her trembling lip.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Shaking her head lightly, Claudia wiped away the tears. But unwilling to let her just brush off her emotions, Lucas gazed long and deep into her eyes.

"You really do love me," Claudia said. "Like more than I ever imagined."

"Of course I do, how could I not?" He tenderly brushed her curls away from her face, then traced the curve of her cheek with his thumb. "You mean the world to me."

"I just didn't expect all of this. I've felt so damaged and undeserving of love, so I've kinda been doubting if I could even have a normal relationship again."

"My love is unconditional, Claude. You being wounded by a terrible experience doesn't change my feelings, it only makes my love for you deeper."

Heart swelling with happiness, she wiped away the rest of the tears. And then her mouth moved towards his, pressing soft but firm against his lips. Soothing hers with a deep tenderness, Lucas's mouth was warm and wet, making her heart hammer and stomach flip. When they broke apart, their eyes stayed locked on one another, faces beaming with total and absolute love.

"Thank you," Claudia said. For caring and loving me in a way that I really need."

"No need to give thanks," Lucas said. "What kind of a man would I be, if I didn't care about healing my woman's spirit?"

Deeply touched by his sweetness, Claudia gave him a tender peck, then gently caressed his cheekbone that jutted from beneath his coppery skin. Soon after her fingers found his hair, winding into his gorgeous and flowing locks so that the strands slid between her digits.

"Still love playing with my hair, huh?" A wide grin crossed his face.

"Because It's gorgeous," she responded. "And totally silky, just like satin."

"I like your hair too." Reaching out a hand, he began to touch it. "It's all thick and curly, and feels really nice against my hands."

Indulging in the feel of Lucas's fingertips grazing her scalp, Claudia gently murmured, lowering her lids in a dreamy way. But as a completely wild and random thought suddenly came into her head, Claudia took a moment to dwell on it.

Since Lucas had fine, straight hair with just a hint of a wave, and she had thick, tight coils with plenty of volume, she couldn't help but wonder what the hair of their child would look like. Of course it was only hypothetical because they didn't have a kid at all, but it was still fun to try and imagine it.

Then suddenly it came to her that she was being ridiculous, because she and Lucas weren't even close to being ready for a baby. Not only were they still technically teenagers, but they'd just barely gotten back together. So why was she visualizing some baby that probably wouldn't ever exist?

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Slicing right through the voice that had been talking in her head, Lucas's words brought Claudia back to the present moment. Shifting her gaze, she focused her eyes on his face.

"You seemed to be thinking real hard," he said. "Even had this cute little smile at the corner of your lips, like you were thinking of a good memory, or possibly planning a prank."

"I'm not much of a prankster," she said.

"So it was a good memory?"

"Not exactly...more like a daydream."

"Share."

"No, It's too silly."

"I still wanna know."

"I'd be embarrassed."

"Can't be that bad."

"No, but I also don't want you to get scared off."

With inquisitiveness, Lucas studied her face. "Okay, now you've really got my attention."

"Please don't make me say it," Claudia replied.

"Well I'm not gonna force you into it," he said. "I just thought It'd be nice to know some of your thoughts. Makes me feel closer, and like you really trust me."

Shifting his eyes downward, Lucas focused on some point that Claudia couldn't see. But as moments passed and he purposely kept his gaze still averted, she realized he was feeling disappointed.

Just looking at his face hurt Claudia's heart, and after remembering how much he cared for her, she immediately knew that her worries over scaring him off were completely ridiculous. So with a gentleness she took Lucas's hand, and as he finally lifted his eyes, she began to let out her private thought.

"I was imagining what a baby between you and me would look like," she quietly said.

"Well that's not embarrassing at all," he replied. "And it definitely Isn't going to scare me off."

A gentle smile crossed her lips.

"I think It's cute you were imagining that," he continued on. "And in case you're wanting my input, our baby would definitely be real cute."

Flashing teeth, Claudia looped her arms around his neck. "Think so, huh?"

"I know it, and so do you."

Now she was grinning.

"Yep," Lucas said with a thoughtful expression. "He'd be one of those calendar babies."

"He?"

"Sure, why not? It could be a boy."

A light chuckle drifted from her lips.

"Well if you don't believe I can make it a boy, then let's have a go right now and I'll prove it to you."

Claudia giggled. "Now you're just being silly."

"Yeah, but it brought a smile to your face."

With eyes brightly shining, Claudia reached for her phone to see what it time it was. A glance at the home screen told her it was nearing ten o'clock, but since she was eighteen now, curfews were non-existent.

Seeing that Kimi had sent her a text, Claudia started to write one back. But then Lucas's hand was slipping the device out of her palm, tossing it out of reach so that she couldn't see it.

Shifting her gaze to his, she saw his dark eyes watching her, hands languorously sliding along her waist before skimming the flare of her hips.

Without saying a word, she leaned in closer. Close enough for the tip of her nose to brush against his. Their fingers entwined and then he claimed her lips, making her forget about anything else except for himself.