Louise Ch. 01

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Louise's point of view.
6.1k words
4.66
67.4k
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Part 1 of the 16 part series

Updated 10/22/2022
Created 05/06/2012
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kalamazoo707
kalamazoo707
1,662 Followers

Louise Yancy stood up and stretched, it had been another very long night for her. Since her father Victor Yancy died unexpectedly three years ago, she had taken over the care of her mother. It wouldn't have been so bad if her siblings who lived locally would have contributed to her care but they didn't. The only time she heard from them was when they needed something, to complain about something that they felt that she should be doing and she wasn't or if her sister Juliet needed a baby sitter.

As angry as it made her, she never complained about any of it because it wouldn't have done any good, they would have done what they always did-ignored her. The only constants in her life were her job, caring for her mother and the several times a week telephone conversations that she and their mother had with her oldest sister Kevyn who lived in California.

Of all of her siblings, she was the closest to Kevyn and when she moved to California, Louise had cried for days. Kevyn had helped carry the weight of the caring for their mother and now she helped bear the financial burden that none of the others with the exception of her brother Leon offered to share. Money was another issue that she no longer bothered to bring up. It would have been pointless and would have led to battles that chose not to fight. Louise looked at the clock, she had to be at work at the local grocery store-'Lombardi's' where she worked as a stocker in two hours and she had to get moving. She always prepared her mother's meals for the day and then brought something home from the deli for dinner so that neither of them had to cook. Louise was honest with herself, she didn't quite trust her mother around the stove unsupervised especially when she took what her mother called her "nerve pills."

Sometimes just to get her mother to eat more than a few bites of a meal or pieces of candy, Louise would spend the money and bring home the clam chowder that the deli made. The chowder was the one thing that Wanda never turned down and if the deli served it everyday then she would gladly buy it even if she had to make a special trip to get it.

"Mom, I'm going to make you a sandwich for lunch, make sure you eat it alright?"

"I'll try," Wanda Yancy replied softly.

"No mom, don't try, do it." Louise said as she headed down the stairs.

These were the times when she really missed Kevyn. She could get their mother to do things that no one else could. She also missed her younger brother who had died a couple of years before their father Victor had. Burt was another one who had a way with Wanda and when he died, it was one less person to help. Louise shook off the feelings of melancholy and made herself move toward the kitchen to make the sandwich that she knew wouldn't be eaten.

It was going to be a long day and she wished that one of her siblings would come and sit with their mother while she went to work, it would make both of them feel better and their mother was more likely to eat. Louise's deep seated fear was that she would come home one day and find her dead on the floor either from a fall or dead in bed by her own hand. It was because of the fear of suicide whether planned or accidental that she locked away all of the medications except for what she would need for the day. If there was anyway she could get around giving the ativan until she got home, she would but Wanda knew her pills and would miss it.

One day Louise decided to see if she could substitute the ativan with a placebo. She got the placebo from the pharmacist after she explained her concerns to her.

"Alright but be ready with the real thing, your mother knows her meds including who makes them." the pharmacist said and then wished Louise luck.

Louise got the meds ready including the placebo and waited. She watched as her mother counted out the pills nodding with satisfaction that there were the correct number. Next, she examined the pills. She picked up the placebo put it down and continued with her examination of the pills of which there were six. Just when Louise thought she was home free, Wanda picked up the placebo and looked at it turning it around and around and then frowning.

"Weezy, what's this one?" she asked after reexamining the small white pill.

"Mom, you know that it's your nerve pill." Louise replied nonchalantly.

"It looks different; it doesn't have that little mark on the edge of it."

After trying to convince her mother that the placebo was ativan, she gave up. Wanda wouldn't take the pill until Louise could prove that it was indeed her nerve pill. Louise never tried again; it wasn't worth the hassle and the agitation that it caused her mother.

On a whim, she decided to call Juliet to see if she could sit with their mother for a couple of hours since she was off for the day and her kids were at school. She already knew what the answer would be but tried anyway.

"Come on Lou," Juliet said, "This is my first day off in a week, she'll be fine."

"Can you at least swing by during lunch to make sure she eats?" Louise asked tiredly not even bothering to argue with her.

"I can do that." Juliet replied but it was obvious that she didn't want to do it.

Louise hung up and felt a tear escape, she hated this, she hated all of the responsibility that she had and for a brief moment, she even hated Kevyn for leaving her here alone with family members that cared nothing for her or their mother. It was something that she had never noticed before Kevyn left, they always took care of their mother together.

She immediately felt guilty for her feelings; Kevyn was still helping her just in a different way and from a distance. She knew that Kevyn had to leave and she knew that it had something to do with Clay Robinson although Kevyn never talked about it. What she did know, was that whatever it was, it had to be bad for Kevyn to leave as she did.

An hour later, Louise was on her way to work. She whispered a prayer that her mother would be safe and that Juliet would really stop in to see her. As she drove, she made several decisions with the main one being that as soon as humanly possible, she was moving to California. She hated the Pennsylvania winters and detested Pittsburgh. She had some money saved up and would cash in her 401k if need be although there wasn't much there. Her dream was that she and Kevyn could get a place together now that Kevyn had divorced her husband Lonnie and that she- Louise would go to a culinary school somewhere in California. She could almost see the palm trees and feel the soft ocean breeze blowing through her hair as she sat on the patio of her and Kevyn's apartment drinking her favorite drink- red Kool-Aid. The flavor didn't matter just so it was red.

She thought about her ex brother-in-law Lonnie and realized that although she had never met him, she didn't like him. She had always believed that he and not Kevyn was the majority of the problem but to hear her siblings talk, the fault was all Kevyn's and that her husband was blameless.

"She probably got too mouthy for him." her brother Gene commented when he heard the news. Juliet and the other sister Barb agreed, "She always did have a mouth on her." And then Clay Robinson's name would come up.

Louise would stop listening and didn't even try to defend Kevyn or to correct the idea that her husband left her when it had been the other way around. They only would have started on her about the way that she cared for their mother and she didn't want to hear it. All that mattered to her was that she knew the truth and that one day, she could leave and when she did, she planned never to step foot in Pittsburgh again unless she absolutely had to.

******

Louise parked her car, grabbed her lunch and headed into the store, she hated her job but it paid the bills. She didn't know what else she would be doing if given the chance- culinary school she reminded herself when she had the thought but there was no use in even thinking about it at this point. As she walked into the store, she saw one of the regulars an elderly woman picking through the sales bin.

"Morning Miss. Gina." she said politely.

"Mornin' Louise, say, you don't happen to have any damaged boxes of those cup-a-soups do ya?"

"I don't think so but I'll see." Louise replied, "Just let me get settled."

"Thank you, why aren't you married?" the old woman asked as Louise walked away.

Instead of responding, Louise acted as if she didn't hear her and kept walking. That was another secret desire that she had, one that she had never verbalized to anyone, not even to herself. Who would want a woman who was painfully shy and only spoke when she was spoken to first? She didn't consider herself ugly but she was nowhere as beautiful as her sisters who never spent a weekend alone except by choice.

She let out a sigh as she put her purse in her locker and locked it after taking out a ten-dollar bill. She already knew that there wouldn't be any damaged boxes of the cup-a-soup when she looked but the old woman was hungry and Louise just didn't have the heart to let her go home that way. Using her employee discount, she bought several boxes of the soup, smashed the boxes so that they looked damaged and added a box of saltines, damaging that box as well. She then went to the deli and bought a small container of chicken salad to go with the soup. She paid for the purchases, put the change in the bag and went to the old woman.

"Here you are Miss Gina, you're in luck and I even found a box of damaged saltines oh and the chicken salad was on sale so I got you a little of that too."

Tears glistened in the woman's eyes as she took the bag, "How much do I owe you?"

Saying that she owed nothing wasn't an option, this woman was proud; Louise felt it and knew that the woman would be offended if she didn't take something for the food. "One dollar ma'am" she replied.

"Is that's all?" the woman asked incredulous but then gave Louise a knowing but appreciative look.

"Yes ma'am, they were pretty beat up and as I said, the chicken salad was on sale."

The woman stared at Louise for a long moment and touched her hand, "Good things are going to come to you, and you mark my words."

Louise smiled politely, told the old woman to enjoy her day and went back to work.

"That was a nice thing that you did for her." the store manager said from behind her.

"She was hungry," Louise replied a little defensively.

"Don't get upset," the manager Frank Lombardi said, "I meant it as a compliment."

"Thanks." Louise said and started to walk away.

She felt the manager's eyes on her back and kept walking. He had been hinting around for the past month about taking her out but she wanted no parts of him. As far as she was concerned, Frank Lombardi was a dog who thought that he was the whole happy meal and he was married to boot. She knew what kind of woman he thought she was, lonely and desperate. Lonely she might have been but desperate she wasn't and even it she was, he was the last man she'd be with.

The day seemed move even slower the closer to quitting time it got. On her way out Louise stopped at the deli and bought two containers of the clam chowder, one for tonight and one for lunch the next day.

"Your mom really likes this stuff huh?" Janice the deli manager asked as she dished up the thick chowder.

"Yes, it's one of her favorites." Louise replied.

"Why don't I send a little extra?" Janice said more to herself than to Louise and filled a third container. "It's just going to get thrown out."

"Thank you from both mom and me." Louise said quietly.

"You're welcome and have a good night." Janice replied as she handed Louise the containers filled with hot soup.

On her way out to her car, Louise dug out her cell phone and turned it on, her stomach dropped when she saw that there were several phone calls from Juliet.

"Lou, call home it's important!"

After the sixth missed call, Louise wondered what had happened and then why no one called the store if there had been an emergency. She jumped in the car as and drove to the house as quickly as she could to find Gene and her other remaining brother Leon waiting for her.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Gene demanded as soon as she was out of her car.

"We can't have our phones on at work, what happened?" Louise asked already fearing the worst.

"Juliet came over to check on her like you asked, found mom on the floor and called 911."

"Why didn't someone call me at work?" Louise asked angrily, "this was an emergency!"

"I don't know why Juliet didn't call you, but let's go... you're driving I'm almost out of gas." Gene said getting into her car.

"Did anyone call Kevyn?" Louise asked as she backed out of the driveway.

"Juliet tried and it went to voice mail." Gene replied, "Why have a damned cell phone if you don't have it on?" he grumbled.

"Not all of us have jobs that allow that." Louise snapped at him, "as I said, you could have called my job or better yet, someone could have come to the store like you do when you want something."

Her face burned with heat, she very rarely spoke to anyone like that and knew that she surprised her brothers by the way that they were staring at her.

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried about mom." she said by way of explanation, "does anyone know what happened?"

"No." Gene replied and looked out of the window.

"What about Barb? Did anyone call her?" Louise asked.

"Juliet talked to her." Leon replied.

"Is she coming?" Louise asked.

"She said to keep her posted."

Louise didn't respond, of all of her siblings Barb was the one who felt that they were deprived. No amount of talking could convince her otherwise. She failed or refused to understand that they didn't wear the latest styles or get the latest hairdos because their parents didn't want them to, they simply couldn't afford it.

Gene wasn't listening to the conversation that was going on between Leon and Louise. His mind was on Kevyn's arrival, he was already dreading it and for one reason... she would take over what should be his duty as the oldest male in their family. It was for that reason he was so short with Louise and it wasn't her fault. She wasn't the one that made Kevyn head of the family and she was right, someone should have called or gone to her job.

It didn't occur to him that he could have made the phone call or even driven to Louise's job to tell her what happened and it didn't occur to him that he could have started making decisions before Kevyn got there. He looked over at Louise and felt guilty about the way he had spoken to her and did something that he rarely did; he apologized.

"I'm sorry sis, you're right; we should have called your job."

Both Louise and Leon looked at him in surprise neither of them remembering when they had last heard an apology come from Gene's mouth.

"Ummm, it's ok." Louise said still shocked, "You're worried about mom too."

*******

The only ones not at the hospital was Kevyn whom Juliet was still trying to reach and Barbara who lived in Connecticut.

None of them was prepared to see their mother on the vent and all of the equipment that went with it. Louise stifled a sob and felt her knees go weak. "She was talking to me this morning, I was telling her to make sure that she ate the sandwich that I made for her." she whispered as tears ran down her face.

Leon put his arm around her and gave her a gentle squeeze. Next to Kevyn, he was the one that Louise was closest to and the one that helped her the most. In retrospect, Louise realized that she should have called him to stay with their mother. He would have with no questions asked but she knew that he had worked the nightshift at the steel mill and he would have been exhausted.

Leon led Louise to a chair and sat next to her.

"You want a soda or something?" he asked.

It was then that she remembered the clam chowder in the car and started to cry. She knew beyond any doubt that her mother, Wanda Yancy would never eat another bowl of clam chowder or anything else for that matter. She jumped when she heard one of the machines begin to alarm and looked up to see her mother, whose restrained were pulling against the restraints in an attempt to free them.

Louise stood slowly, walked over to the bed and took her mother's hand in hers.

"It's going to be alright." she said softly as she stroked her mother's too thin, too cold hand. As always whenever she said those words, Wanda calmed. Louise looked around for a chair that she could move to the bedside and nodded gratefully when Leon brought one for her and then one for himself.

Gene stood near the back of the room seemingly oblivious to the fact that he wasn't doing any of the things that the male head of the household should have been doing. He wasn't comforting his siblings, he hadn't seen to their needs by asking if they needed anything... he was just there and though he would have been loathe to admit to it, he was waiting for Kevyn.

Four hours later, Juliet reached Kevyn who was actually on her way when they were trying to call her.

"I reached her." Juliet said when she walked into the room, "she was on her way here, that's why we couldn't reach her."

"Do you know what happened?" Louise asked.

"I went to the house like you asked," Juliet said, "and knocked on the door. When she didn't answer, I went in and found her on the floor."

A soft tap on the door made them all jump.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Berry the doctor in charge of your mother's care."

"What happened to her?" Leon asked.

"We think that she either had a hemorrhagic stroke or a heart attack, maybe both so I've ordered both a neurological and a cardiology consult, and she also sustained a subdural hematoma from the fall. Is there a spokesperson for the family here?" he asked. "I find it much easier to deal with one person who then acts as a liaison between the doctors and the family."

This was Gene's opportunity to step in but by the time he realized it, it was too late, Louise was already talking.

"Our sister Kevyn Morris is our spokesperson, she's on her way in from California." Somehow just saying that Kevyn was coming made Louise feel better.

"Fine, let the nurse know when she arrives and I'll meet with her but in the meantime, are there any questions?" he asked.

"Yes," Gene said, "Is she going to die?"

"I can't answer that with 100% certainty." Dr. Berry replied, "What I can tell you is this, that machine is all that's keeping her alive right now. I'm aware that there are no advanced directives stating your mother's wishes but I would suggest that you as a family talk and come to some agreement as to what's going to happen here."

"What are you talking about?" Gene demanded.

"I'm talking about whether we continue as is or we make her a do not resuscitate and take her off of life support."

"You mean let her die?" Gene asked.

"Mr. Yancy, I'm not going to lie to you," Dr. Berry said. "Even if your mother survives, there will be no quality of life, she will be bedridden and that in and of itself presents another set of problems....."

"Like what?" Gene demanded not giving the doctor a chance to finish his sentence.

"She'll need twenty-four hour care and the only place she'll be able to get that will be at a long term care facility...."

"A nursing home?" Juliet asked.

"Yes...."

"No way!" Gene exclaimed, "Lou can quit her job and take care of her at home, we'll help her."

Louise stared at Gene speechless at how he thought he could dictate what she was going to do. She looked over at her mother and knew that she couldn't do it; it would be too much for her even with help.

"Gene...." she started to say.

"Mr. Yancy, I know that you're upset and this must be a shock for all of you but think about this, it would be too much for any one person to take on but at any rate, think about your options and please let the nurse know when your sister arrives."

kalamazoo707
kalamazoo707
1,662 Followers
12