Lovable, Beautiful Ch. 02

The clothes that she'd given me turned out to just be a T-shirt and a pair of lacey boy-shorts. I shook my head in amusement and put on the clothes before exiting the room. Knocking again, I pushed my door open and saw that Kristin was lying on my bed waiting for me. I met her eyes and was nearly overtaken with the feeling of wanting her so badly.

I sat on the bed and looked down at her. Kristin's eyes invited me in and so I laid down beside her and made an effort not to be the first to touch the other. I failed, naturally, touching the tips of the fingers on my left hand to her face. Kristin closed her eyes seeming to enjoy my touch.

I ran my fingers from her cheek to her shoulder, doing my best to go as slow as possible for me. When Kristin sat up I thought I'd done something wrong.

"How much can you stand before you just.." Kristin laid down on top of me slowly, her hand running down my torso and slipping into my shirt. I closed my eyes and struggled not to attack her.

Kristin kissed my lips, my cheek, my throat. Her fingers trickled up and down my belly, giving me chill bumps. My hands were all over her body; I was trying to keep myself occupied until I couldn't stand it any longer. All I could think of was how awesome it would feel if her hand just went a little lower. How great it'd be if she decided not to test me and go ahead and fuck me.

"Go crazy?" Kristin bit into my throat enough to barely break the skin and squeezed my hip. I gasped and could no longer stop myself from trying to pull her shirt off of her. She only smiled at me, not allowing me to do so. "Not much, huh?"

I gulped and clenched my jaw in frustration.

"When is the last time you actually took your time? Made love with someone?" she asked, staring into my eyes thoughtfully.

"I-I-I.." Had obviously forgotten how to speak correctly.

Kristin put a finger over her lips to shush me. "Just slow down, please. The longer you wait the better the reward."

I forced myself to let go of her shirt and just let her take the lead. I knew in the end I'd get what I needed, even if it took forever and a day. Also, I wanted to please her. I wanted to be there for all of the intercourse, not just the part where I got pleasured. Any other time I only paid mind to how I felt. Sure, I always gave the other person his or her orgasm, but only to be polite. This time I wanted to make sure Kristin felt amazing.

She kissed me deeply and I kissed her back, balling my hands into fists to keep from trying to pull her shirt off again. I did my best to focus on feeling what Kristin's hands were doing. They touched and rubbed all the curves of my body but it seemed like they'd never make it to where I wanted them to be the most.

"Have you ever.." Kristin finally slipped the tips of her fingers into my panties. "Just let someone take their time?" she kissed me again, knowing I wouldn't be able to answer her, anyway.

I opened my hands and stretched them out because having them fisted for so long so tightly was beginning to hurt. I inhaled deeply when I felt Kristin's fingers finally began to move between my thighs very, very slowly. Slipping my hands under Kristin's shirt, I groped her breasts and allowed myself to do as she asked and let her take her time. I bit my bottom lip and rubbed my thumbs over her erect nipples. While it was almost painful to let her go at such a leisurely pace, I was able to half-way control myself. By the time I reached my climax she had quickened her fingers to a more bearable speed. I arched my back and groaned in ecstasy, biting into the soft flesh above Kristin's shoulder. She yelped and I realized that I'd actually hurt her. Blood flowed into my mouth and began to soak the white T she was wearing.

To my surprise Kristin didn't stop what she was doing, just went faster. When I finished I pulled my teeth out of her and wiped my mouth. I made myself look into her eyes, something I never did after sex with some-one. Her blue-green eyes were as alive as ever but I could see the pain written all over her face. It bothered me that I had hurt her.

"I'm sorry." I said, amazed again that I was apologizing and that I meant it. Her blood continued to spread its way through fabric of the shirt.

Sitting up, I took Kristin's face in my shaking hands and kissed her lips tenderly. I pulled away and laid her down where I had just been. She let me remove her shirt this time. After hers was off I pulled mine over my head and dropped it on the bed beside me. I had every intention of going slow for her because that seemed to be what she wanted me to do, even though I didn't love her.

Kristin looked up at me, waiting. I gulped and took a deep breath, getting ready to make her feel better than I had the last time. The first time. I blinked and then straddled her, leaning down and kissing from her forehead to her lips and from there to her throat. When I'd reached the bite wound I'd given her I kissed away the blood that was covering it. She gasped in pain and shrugged away from my touch.

"Sorry.." I said knowing I'd have to touch it again if she wanted it to quit bleeding within the next few minutes.

I looked into her eyes, trying to let her know silently that I was about to hurt her again, but only for a second or two. She must have known because when I ran my tongue over the bleeding area she didn't try and get away, but she did gasp in pain again. "I didn't mean to hurt you." I whispered to her before kissing behind her earlobe. Kristin nodded, her eyes closed. I couldn't help but kiss her full lips once more; I wanted the slight frown to go away. She kissed me back, her breathing becoming shallow as my right hand caressed her chest and ran all over her curves. I kissed her lips, her chin, under her jaws, her throat, collar bone. I sucked lightly on each nipple, letting my teeth graze them only a tiny bit. She gasped and I knew she liked what she felt. I got off of Kristin and continued to kiss and touch her body until I reached her panties. I slipped them off of her, throwing them in the floor. I looked into Kristin's eyes, the fire in them sending warm tremors through my entire being, body and soul. I struggled with myself not to forget about making her feel amazing and just fuck her instead. I knew she'd be able to tell the difference. I gained as much control of myself as I could and pressed my lips to the warm flesh of her abdomen and kissed my way down to the place I knew ached to be touched. My hands pushed her legs open a little wider and I used my thumbs to spread her apart. Kristin shivered when I kissed her clit and took in a shaky breath.

Using my tongue to please her wasn't difficult at all because I'd done the same thing to other women, but I wanted it to be different this time. I didn't give a shit about any of the others; I'd killed them all, anyway.

But with Kristin I did care. I wanted it to be like nothing else she'd ever experienced in her life. So I made an effort to take my time with her, loving every breath, every sound she made. These were the things that turned me on the most.

I slowly ran the tip of my tongue down her pussy, bringing it back up flat. The taste of her was amazing. She groaned as I kissed her all over simply because I had noticed the way she reacted to it. My tongue explored every ounce of silky smooth skin. I sucked lightly on her clit, feeling her body tense up. Swirling my tongue around the tiny nub caused her to close her thighs around my head. Her hands grasped my hair. I made her go crazy when I began to quickly flick my tongue over her love button.

"Ahh.." Kristin gasped when she reached her first orgasm, but I intended to give her many of those before this was over with.

After the first few orgasms I switched from using my mouth to my fingers. I wiped my lips and kissed my way back up to Kristin's breasts, touching them sensually with my free hand. Kristin grabbed the sides of my head and leaned forward until she could reach my face, kissing me in a way I'd never been kissed before.

The kiss was slow and gentle, her mouth open just slightly. I kissed her back to the best of my knowledge. Something bothered me about this particular kiss. It was more intimate than I felt comfortable with but I didn't pull away from her until she had her next climax.

When she finished I rolled over beside her and stared at the ceiling, trying not to think too much about the last kiss we had shared. I ended up doing the exact opposite, wondering why on earth it bothered me so much. It was just a kiss, after all.

A little while later Kristin was the first to speak. "Thank you."

I didn't look at her. "For what?"

"Taking your time. People don't usually do that for me." her voice was quiet with a sad tinge to it.

I looked over at her, trying with all my might to ignore the very obvious fact that she was still naked. "What's wrong?"

A fake smile replaced the frown but her eyes were still unhappy. She shook her head, "I'll be okay."

"That's not what I asked." I rolled onto my side and faced her, a bit frustrated with myself for giving a damn.

"I just.. I've only ever had sex with four people and none of them cared about me; they just wanted to fuck me. What if no one ever wants to make love to me?" Kristin blinked away tears.

I didn't know what to say to her. After all, I hadn't wanted to make love to her, either. I had only wanted to be the best she'd ever had and it sounded like going slow was the only way to do that. I fumbled around in my mind for words that might help. Couldn't find any.

"What if.." she trailed off.

"What if, what?" I asked, curious.

"Do you think you could ever love me? I mean- of course you don't have to, but do you think that someday you might?" Kristin asked, no sign of hope in her eyes at all.

Of course she'd have to ask me something crazy like that. I couldn't lie to her; she was a Vampire and nothing can lie to a Vampire, not even someone of the same species. "I don't know, Kristin. With the way I am I don't think it'd work out."

Kristin nodded, "Okay."

"I have a question." I stated.

She blinked, waiting.

"Why was that last kiss different?" I asked, hoping I'd get a pretty satisfactory answer.

Kristin moved her eyes from my own and sighed, "Because I wanted to see if you would kiss me back the same way."

"What do you mean?"

"I needed to know for sure if you meant to make me feel like I was wanted more than just sexually. You didn't kiss me back how I wanted you to, so I have my answer." Kristin tried to sound like it didn't bother her that she'd been used yet again.

But I knew it did.

"Kristin, I wanted to make you feel better physically than anyone else had ever made you feel. I wanted to be the best. I wasn't trying to make you feel.." I realized how cruel that sounded and stopped before I ended up making her cry.

The way she was looking at me made me want to go crawl under a rock and stay there. It wasn't a hateful look, it was a very depressed 'I can't believe you just said that to me' look. She shook her head and a single tear fell down her face. So much for not making her cry.

"Kristin-" I touched her arm.

She glared at me but the pain in her eyes was evident.

I covered my face with my hands and tried to think of something to say that might keep her from hating me. "Don't hate me." was all I could think of.

"Why do you care if I hate you or not? You already got what you wanted. Twice, now. And if you want it again any time soon I'm sure you can find someone that just wants a good fuck. I can even refer you to a few." Kristin snapped. Ouch.

"Do you hate me?" I was surprised that it mattered to me. That I didn't want her to.

Things were quiet for a few minutes before she answered. "No, I don't hate you."

"Why don't you?"

"Why do you care?" she looked back into my eyes.

I looked away, "I don't know why. All I know is that I do care. I care more for you than I've ever cared about anyone else. When we were having sex I didn't want to just fuck you. I wanted to be sure that you felt amazing. That you felt beautiful. Yeah, I wanted to be the best but that's because I wanted you to feel better than you've ever felt before."

"You still didn't mean to make me feel like you wanted all of me." she said, not bothering to hide her grief any more.

"I wanted all of you to feel beautiful." I mumbled, knowing it more than likely wouldn't help.

"It's okay. I didn't expect you to." Kristin sounded so defeated.

I touched her arm again, hoping she wouldn't pull away. When she didn't, I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "I really do care about you, Kristin. I'm just scared, okay?"

"What are you scared of, Amanda?" Kristin asked, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Hurting you. 'Cuz I know I will." I said, not even thinking about it before it came out of my mouth. I knew it must be true because, again, we can't lie to each other.

"Do you mean physically or emotionally?"

"Well, I've already hurt you in both ways, but I meant emotionally." I said, not really liking being so open to someone.

She rolled onto her side and faced me, searching my eyes for what felt like centuries. "Like I said, you're not as bad a person as you think you are."

I sighed, perturbed.

"Would you try, you know, to let me show you how it could be?" Kristin asked, sounding like she already knew I'd say no.

"You shouldn't want to try. All I've done for you is turn you into a Vampire and hurt your feelings." I was confused as to why she cared so much after all I'd done to her.