Love and Hate

6 years ago ...

*Wham!* Mike doubled over as his father Simon delivered a crushing blow to his abdomen. His throat ejected blood. He spat it out bitterly.

"Stay down!" his father growled.

"Fuck you!" Mike grunted. He was hurt, exhausted, beaten. But he looked up at his father with loathing as he forced his wobbly legs to lift him up to his feet. He felt his head spin.

Simon kicked Mike's legs out from under him just as he got to his feet.

Mike dropped face first to the ground. He hadn't expected to be tripped, and his face hit the ground hard. He bit his tongue when his jaw hit the floor. He looked at his father's feet.

Simon kicked him in the ribs. "Beg me to stop," he roared. He kicked him again. "All you have to do is beg."

Something happened then that Mike couldn't explain. There he was, bleeding from the mouth, one eye nearly swollen shut, nose bleeding. One of his ribs was almost certainly broken. He could barely stand on his own.

And he started to laugh.

It started out as a chuckle, but to his father's fury, he began to howl with powerful fits of laughter. Simon kicked him again and again and again, somehow making Mike laugh harder and harder with each kick.

Mike felt his father lift him by the scruff of the neck, setting him up for a kick in the head.

Mike looked up at his father. Even as with laughter, his hatred showed in every line of his face. To his surprise, Simon let go.

"Psycho ..." his father muttered, shaking his head as he closed the front door behind him, taking off in his car.

Mike's laughter slowly died down to chuckles.

Rachael heard everything from her closet. She cried through most of it. She knew this was her fault. Her father caught her kissing a boy on the back porch and had a fit. Well, she almost kissed him. The poor guy barely made it out of the house alive. Mike showed up in time to keep Simon from killing the both of them.

She cautiously peeked around the corner, and saw her twin brother lying there on the floor.

He was truly a sight to behold. On the brink of manhood, he was strong, but not yet physically able to contend with his father, a forty year old ex marine who kept in shape working as a police detective.

But he tried to fight. He always lost, but he always tried.

Rachael knelt down next to her poor brother.

"Rachael," he groaned.

"Hey BB," she said, smiling down at him sweetly.

"Check it out! I showed him who's boss!" he cackled.

Rachael wasn't amused.

"Want me to get you something?" she asked him. She hadn't realized it, but she'd been holding his hand ... which suddenly started to sweat.

"Sure, aspirin, bandages, an ice pack ..."

"The usual," she said. She knew the drill.

Their father had only ever hit her once, years ago. It was another drunken night just like this one. She yelled at her father about his temper and he hit her, hard. The incident landed her in the hospital, and Mike hit his father over the head with a metal baseball bat as retribution.

Their father was wearing his high school class ring when he hit her, and it just nailed her perfectly. Since that day, two years ago, Mike made sure that his father never laid a finger on Rachael again. His father hated him, so it wasn't that hard, aside from the obvious physical toll.

"Mike?" Rachael came back with an armful of everything; a pillow, water, aspirin, a bowl for spitting blood, and some bandages and ice. She used cotton to stop his nose bleed, and iced his forehead. She put a pillow under his head and started running her fingers through his hair. "Mike, are you okay?"

No response.

"Mike?"

Still no response. He wasn't moving. Immediately the worst came to her mind.

"Oh my god! Mike! Mike!"

Rachael picked up her cell phone and called 911.

...

...

It was a long trip to the hospital. The paramedics let her come along for the ride, but nearly had to restrain her to keep her from hovering over her brother for the entire trip. One of the paramedics told her he's lost a lot of blood and needs a transfusion.

One of the doctors had a lot of questions. Questions she wasn't sure she could answer. She told him Mike was all beaten up by the time he got home. The doctor wasn't buying it.

"I think you have something to tell us," he said. "What happened to him?"

"He..." she began, when she saw her father stride down the hallway with a concerned look on his face. The Doctor's face went pale.

"Doctor Norman. I want to know why you're interrogating my daughter."

"Detective..." he stuttered. "Begging your pardon. I never had the pleasure of meeting her before."

Simon patted Dr. Norman on the back. "It's understandable," he said. "I'm a reasonable man. I know when to look the other way." He said, pointedly. "Are you a reasonable man doctor?"

"Yes sir! I..."

"So tell me doc... how's my son?"

Dr. Norman took a deep breath and calmed himself. This question he could answer without much trouble.

"Detective, your son was beaten quite savagely. He has a concussion for sure. At least one broken rib, and it appears he's lost a good amount of blood as well. We've already re-set his nose and have him on an IV. His sister gave him a transfusion when he went into shock.

"That's all?"

"He can go home tomorrow if you wish it. He should stay the night so we can monitor him. His sister did the right thing calling us. He could've died from the amount of blood he lost internally. He'll take several weeks to fully recover. The ribs will take longer."

"Thank you doctor. I'd like to see my son now if it's all the same to you."

...

...

Everything was a haze. Mike couldn't see anything. He couldn't move. He just heard noises.

His sister yelling his name over and over. He heard some woman saying "he's going into Hypovolemic shock. He needs blood." He wondered distantly who needed blood, and what they were doing in his living room while he was trying to sleep.

Then he heard his sister's voice again. "BB? Are you awake?"

He wanted to respond, but it seemed so far away, almost as if he'd just thought the words, or remembered them.

"BB?" This time more present. Rachael was here. Now.

"BB I need you to wake up okay?"

Mike opened his eyes.

Rachael was sitting at the foot of his bed, crying into her hands.

"Chin up gorgeous. What's got you so blue?"

"BB oh my god!"

She hugged him painfully, and told him she loved him.

"Where's father?"

"Gone to sleep it off I suppose."

"Why aren't you?"

"I couldn't leave you here by yourself," her voice shook. Mike lifted his still functional arm and took her hand in his, rubbing it gently with his thumb.

Before long, Mike closed his eyes and allowed himself to sleep. Rachael watched over him. She lowered a hand to his cheek, and started absent-mindedly running her fingers through his hair.

What am I doing?Rachael thought. Ever since the night mom left she'd had these strange feelings for him. Feelings she couldn't understand and wasn't sure she wanted to. As she sat there, stroking his hair and watching him sleep, she felt herself permanently fall into the trap she'd been trying to avoid for three years.

This boy was her blood brother! All the same, she couldn't help but to lean in close to him.

Oh god! Am I actually going to kiss him?She leaned forward until their faces were inches apart. She stopped for a moment. Just to look at him so close for the first time.He's asleep. He'll never know ...

She lowered her lips to his. He was in too much of a daze to do anything but accept the soft full lips caressing his own. She stopped and looked down at his beaten, yet somehow still handsome face.

She pulled herself onto his bed and shared a pillow with him.

"BB?"

"Mmmmmmmm?" he moaned to acknowledge her.

"Could you hold me?"

He opened his arms, and she lay her head against his chest. Fortunately, all of his broken ribs were on the left side of his body, or she would certainly have woken him up in agony.

I feel good against his chest, but that's normal right?She didn't know what to do.

"BB?"

"Mmmmm?" he moaned again.

"I love you.

He opened his eyes to make eye contact with her. "I love you too gorgeous." He kissed her on the forehead and closed his eyes again.

Something's wrong!she thought.I'm not supposed to feel like this!

She couldn't stop this feeling. She felt a wave of love and lust rush through her. Just sitting there, letting him hold her like this was, well, perfect! She never wanted it to stop. Her heart was pounding like hooves on a race track.

I give up!she thought.I can't fight this anymore! I need him! I don't care!

"Goodnight BB."

"Goodnight..."

...

...

4 years ago ...

Mike woke up nearly screaming. He was suspended from school today, so there was no point getting up. It was just... his dreams. He couldn't sleep. He checked the clock.

Six AM. Wonderful!He limped outside to see Rachael standing on the front porch watching the sunrise. He wanted to turn away, but he just couldn't take his eyes off her.

He just stood there, watching her gorgeous brown hair blow back in a morning breeze. Her eyes were closed, and she spread her arms to catch the cool wind. She was smiling. A storm was coming, and Mike knew how much she loved the rain.

She was beautiful. He'd known this in the back of his mind for as long as he could remember. Her eyes were a stunning bright hazel. Her skin, soft and slightly pale. Her warm smile could stop a man's heart. Her small frame and curvy figure carried with it a certain elegance and beauty that he couldn't stop thinking about; no matter how hard he tried.

A man could fall in love,he thought, trying badly to look away, still hiding his face in the shadows.

Rachael looked back into the house. When she saw her brother watching her, she smiled adoringly back at him. She didn't know he was there at first, she just felt him watching her.

"Come on out here Mike! It's gonna rain!" she yelled; voice filled with excitement not natural for so early in the morning.

Mike stumbled out of the house, hating the butterflies in his stomach.

They just relaxed for a while, letting the wind rush across their faces, feeling the rain drizzle down on them.

"I forgot how much of a morning person you are."

"I forgot how much of an owl you are!" she said, observing the shadows under his eyes.

Mike laughed. He always was a bit of a night hawk. They started talking about movies and music. Mike always loved classic rock, grunge, and metal. Rachael was more into modern hip-hop, and even (to Mike's dismay) pop music.

Then the conversation moved on to girls.

"Are you and Stacy still making out in the back parking lot?" Rachael scowled.

Mike shook his head in exhaustion. "What's wrong with Stacy?"

"I just think you could do better." Rachael said, deciding Mike wasn't ready to know her intentions quite yet.

"You always think I could do better. Who do YOU think I should be with?"

"I dono, someone more like..."

"Like what?"

"Like me," she said with the cutest smile in the world.

Mike smiled back. "Rachael, if I met someone like you we wouldn't be having this conversation."

The sky turned dim. Clouds blocked all but a few rays of sunlinght, and the rain started to pick up. Rachael paused. His answer gave her hope.Ok here's the hard part.

Rachael grabbed Mike's arm and rested her head to his chest.

Mike felt his heart start to pound.

"Why didn't you tell me you felt that way?" she asked him.

"Felt what wa..."

Her lips were smooth as silk. Her kiss sucked all the oxygen out of his lungs. Mike froze, but quickly gave in as he lost control of his senses.

She felt light-headed when he slowly slid his tongue into her warm mouth. She instinctively massaged his tongue with her own. She began to moan into his mouth. He gently pulled her body closer to his, so she started grinding her crotch against his leg. She ran her hands under his shirt. She opened her mouth to gasp for air, never taking her lips off his.

Mike's alarm bells went off. He broke the kiss, and quickly shifted away from her.

"Rachael?" he said in amazement.

She smiled again, and gave him a quick peck on the lips. He didn't move. Their eyes met again. She wanted him so badly; she'd do anything for him.

"Rachael ..." Mike breathed.

*Boom!* thunder shook the house and the rain started to pick up. This was going to be a serious storm.

The thunder broke Michael's trance. He went inside to write in his journal and shower up. Rachael waited until it started pouring before she finally came back in. They avoided each other for the rest of the day.

...

...

Two days later their father returned.

Sober this time, he found Mike beating on the old punching bag in the garage.

"Mike, I need to talk to you."

Mike let off two jabs and a right hook before stopping to acknowledge his father's presence.

"I heard you've been suspended," his father said.

"You heard did you?"

"What happened?"

"I had a fight," Mike said, turning back to the bag.

"What happened?" Simon repeated.

"The VP has it in for me. Says I'm a punk, just like my old man." This wasn't true. He'd been watching his sister make out with a guy in the hallways. When he saw the guy get a little rough, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Antolini's still there?" his father cackled.

"Thirty years and counting."

"Damn," his father laughed. "I used to give that guy all kinds of hell."

"So what do you think?" Mike asked.

"Think about what?"

"Am I destined to become an angry drunk-ass bastard like you?" Mike growled.

"You're more like me than you'll ever admit, son."

"I'm nothing like you," he snarled.

"What about Rachael? I've seen the way you look at her. Like sandwich meat to a dog she is! Guess who's the dog?"

Mike clenched his fists so tight his nails cut into his palms.

"That's in the blood Mike," his father said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Mike!" He laughed, "You really are daft, aren't you? You think it's a coincidence your aunt Heather offed herself and your mother took off in the same week?"

No. It can't be. That's crazy!Mike thought. And yet, Aunt Heather had been sick since she was a teenager. "What did you do to her?"

"What you're gonna do to Rachael, if you haven't already."

Mike said nothing.

"Hey listen, I don't blame you. I'd have done it to Rachael myself if you'd ever let me near her. Very 'knight-in-shining-armor' of you by the way. I'm sure Rachael is just sucking it up."

"Shut up!"

"Just remember me when you take her that first time," he said, his face swelling with twisted pride. "I wonder if she'll cry, like her aunt did. I wonder if she'll beg for you to stop!"

"I'm gonna kill you," Mike breathed.

His father paused for a moment. He could tell Mike had every intention of delivering on this promise. He was going to have to accelerate things, it seemed.

"Never forget what you are Mike. 'Cause you're just like me!" ...

...

...

Mike left the room stunned. He just didn't know what to think.Is it true? Am I about to follow in my father's footsteps?

He knew he'd done something wrong earlier. He should never have touched his sister like that. But it didn't stop him. Only the storm stopped him.How far would you have taken this? Would you have been able to stop?

He glared at himself in the mirror, still clenching his fists. He had shadows under his eyes, and stubble on his chin and cheeks. He looked five years older than he actually was, and his dark eyes looked older still.

What kind of a monster are you?he asked his reflection.Are you everything you've always hated?

"What're you doing?" Rachael asked him, beaming from the doorway.

Mike glared back at his sister. "Thinking," he said.

Rachael's eyes widened. She knew that look all too well. Her father would get that look when he was about to hurt someone. Mike's expression, was almost identical. She cautiously walked up behind him and hugged him from behind. Mike shrugged her off.

"Talk to me Mike. What's wrong?" she said, grabbing his arm and resting her cheek against his bicep. Mike felt her press against him.

"I'm just like my father," he announced.

"What are you talking about Mike?" she stuttered.

"I am a monster. That's why I feel this way," he almost cried, still clutching the sink, trying hard not to shatter the face he saw in the mirror.

"That's not true. It's okay," she whispered, slowly reaching for his chest.

"Don't touch me!" he snapped, breaking her grip and pushing her away, hard.

"Mike, tell me what happened. I don't know what's wrong!"

Mike avoided her eyes at all costs. "I have a question. When did my sister become the family whore?"

Rachael's eyes immediately welled with tears. "That's not fair Mike."

"Not fair? I get my ass beaten and suspended because of the shit YOU get into.. That's not fair! Now you think what? If you're slutty with me I'll protect you better or something?"

"Mike, I ..."

"If you ever so much as look at me like that again, I'm gone. You can find somebody else to be your fucking champion."

Rachael ran out of the room as fast as she possibly could. It was the only thing she could think to do.

Mike closed the bathroom door and locked it. He undressed, turned on the cold shower, and punched the wall tiles as hard as he could until his hands were bleeding, his arms were exhausted, and his screams and tears were finally spent.

By imaguy (c)