Love and Loss

AUTHORS NOTE: This story does have a more romantic focus. There is sex in this story, but it takes a bit to build to it. This story is also partially un-realistic, but it was meant to be that way, so don't complain. Feedback would be wonderful. If you compare my first story to this, you'll see how much the feedback system really DOES help. I hope you enjoy.

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"Damnit Rachel!" I shouted. "Why does this always happen to me!"

"Because you suck at dating," she said.

There was a truth in her words. I came home early from class yesterday morning, and found my current girlfriend enjoying the carnal pleasures of another man. Normally I would just bounce back from something like this, but not on the third strike.

My name is John; it's my third year of college, and my third girlfriend to cheat on me. The first one was Ashley; we dated for about six months. Things were going good with her, until I took a six week trip to Argentina with my parents during the summer. I came home to find her riding her English professor.

The second one was Sophia. While I don't think she actually cheated on me, she did dump me. Her explanation was that she "needed time for her studies." Of course, two days after we split up I found out she was dating some guy from the hockey team.

"Ya know, I think I'm done," I sighed.

"Done with what?" said Rachel.

"Dating" I said.

"I'm pretty sure you said that last time, and look what just happened." She sat up and gave me a hug. "I'm gonna be late for work, don't go anywhere, we have a routine."

I laughed and hugged her back. She kissed me on the cheek and walked out the door. Rachel was my best friend, we had been friends since our first day of college our freshman year. I got lost trying to find my way to class, and I saw her sitting on a bench staring at her schedule.

"Excuse me; do you know where Mr. Woodrow's class is?" I asked her.

She looked up at me and cracked a smile. "I've been trying to find it all morning, but this place is so big." She patted the seat next to me, "since neither of us knows what the hell were doing, why don't we just skip his class and talk a little while."

I stared at her in shock, "but it's the first day!" I exclaimed.

"Don't be such a puss, sit down and talk with me."

And I did. We talked for hours. At first we just what classes we were taking, and school stuff. But eventually the conversation drifted to other things. We talked about everything; music, art, religion, politics, you name it. She was so fascinating; I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. We had some mutual interests, mainly music. She was into punk rock, and I was more into ska and reggae. But we both shared a mutual love of the Doors, and we talked about Jim Morrison for nearly two hours.

Since that day, we've been friends. She's always been there for me, and she means a lot.

Naturally, after a few months, I began to have some romantic feelings for her. When I let her know how I felt, she rejected the idea. "I don't want to compromise our friendship; you're like a brother to me John." Since then I just let my feelings for her slip away. But it's alright, we've settled into a wonderful friendship, and were closer than ever.

We share an apartment now, and it's been fun living with her. We get along so well, sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am, living with a beautiful girl like Rachel.

And believe me, she's beautiful. She relatively short, with long blond hair. She has very dark blue eyes, and they shine almost purple in the moonlight. She has small, but perky breasts, and a very curvy figure. She walks around naked sometimes in the morning, and she has to know that I stare, but I don't think she minds. This is good, but I don't like riding my bike to class in the morning with a raging hard on.

I'm not bad looking myself. I'm pretty tall with long brown hair, and green eyes. I have a tone and muscular build from all the football I played back in high school.

Rachel has never had a serious boyfriend, as far as I know. She fools around with the occasional guy, and has been known to have a couple one night stands, but she doesn't want anything serious.

I watch her walk out the door to go to work, her hips swaying with each step, and thank the heavens she lives with me.

I do as I'm told and don't go anywhere. We have a little routine now, when my girlfriends cheat on me.

She comes home from work a little early, and picks up a gallon of rocky road ice cream. I sit on the couch with my tub of ice cream, and she rubs my feet, while we listen to the doors. It almost makes me want to be cheated on.

She walked through the door a little after noon, with a big bucket of ice cream, and points towards the couch. I sat down and removed my socks and shoes, and she handed me the bucket. I opened up the top and dug in with my spoon, savoring the sweet taste. She rubbed oil on my feet and started kneading them.

I groaned in bliss. I love it when she does that; she makes me feel so special. Another moan escaped my lips, although it's distorted from the ice cream.

"Try not to have an orgasm while I'm doing this John, I don't wanna have to take another shower," she says.

I laughed, "Don't worry about the shower; I love me a dirty woman."

She giggles, and spreads more oil on my feet. Her warm hands caress the skin on my feet, and I realize I have a perfect view down her shirt.

I try to pride myself on being a gentleman, but my instincts took over and I found myself staring at her breasts. She noticed, and simply laughed.

"I know you love my boobs, but this is not a free show."

I sighed, "Well I do have a twenty in my wallet somewhere..."

She tackled me down to the ground. She was extremely strong for her size, and had me pinned down to the floor. "I just love it when you compare me to a hooker," she joked.

"You wanna know something funny?" I asked.

"What?"

"I can still see down your shirt."

"Well I'm sorry to cut you off from your viewing pleasure, but I have to get ready for tonight," she said.

This took me by surprise. "What do you have planned for tonight?"

"I have a date, or something like it."

"Who's the lucky guy?" I ask.

"Do you know Todd, from our Psychology class our sophomore year?"

I did know Todd. He was English major who worked at a pizza place. I had never spoken too much with him, but I thought he was a nice guy.

"Well, I hope your date goes wonderful." I said.

She seemed pretty excited about it, and I truly did hope that the date would go well. She deserved a nice guy. A nice long relationship was something she had never experienced, as she was very picky over men. I hoped she would find a nice guy that would treat her right, and Todd seemed like a nice guy, so I had my hopes up.

I did some homework and went to bed pretty early. I woke up the next morning and saw that Rachel wasn't in her room, so I assumed the date had in fact, gone well. It was a Saturday, and I didn't want to spend the weekend cooped up, so I got my jacket and headed out the door.

At first I decided to go buy a book from Borders, but I didn't want to spend too much money, so I went to the dollar movies with a couple buddies of mine. After a few hours out I arrived home, and found Rachel lying on the couch, watching a soccer game.

She lit up when I walked in the room, and gave me a big hug. "John, this guy is amazing!"

She was truly excited, and I was excited for her. She sat me down and listed a thousand reasons why this man was wonderful. Hell, by the end of her rant, I almost wanted to date him myself. I was a little jealous, but I didn't care, she was happy, and that's all that mattered.

They dated for about two months when they moved in together. I was sad to see her move away, but it wasn't a major change. She was still over all the time, and she was still my best friend. Despite her being physically farther away, we were still very close.

Time went on, and my junior year of college slipped away.

It was in the middle of my senior year when they announced their engagement. I was astonished, but happy none the less. While I did think it was too soon, I didn't have any objections to it. She loved him, and he loved her, that was all there was to it.

One Sunday me and her were eating lunch in a little diner down the street from her house when, she announced the date of the wedding.

"It's on September Second, the day we got together. And you better be there, besides Todd you're the most important person to me. And if you missed it, I would kill you."

I laughed, "I wouldn't miss it for anything, don't worry, you can count me in." She got up and hugged the life out of me. I could smell her perfume, an elegant scent that reminded me of the countryside.

"I have to go pick up a package for Todd, so I'll see you later," she said.

I watched her walk out the door, and sat back down in my booth.

Then I started to cry.

I wasn't fooling myself. I could have denied it for a thousand years, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. I loved her, and that fact hit me like a slap in the face. The realization was so sudden I almost collapsed from surprise. I loved this woman, she meant everything to me. I could not live my life without this girl, she was so important to me.

That's why most of my relationships have failed, because I never paid enough attention to the girl. All of my attention was focused on Rachel. I didn't realize it; or rather, I denied it. Either way, I knew that I loved Rachel.

And she was getting married, to another guy. After all that, it wasn't the fact that she was getting married that was making me cry, it's the fact that Todd was such a good guy, I was sure it was going to work.

Todd was wonderful to her. He would never do anything to hurt her, and he would love her till death did them apart. I was sure of it, and so was she.

I paid my bill and walked home, tears streaming down my face. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't tell her I loved her, because that would only disrupt her relationship with Todd, and I didn't want to break her up with the man of her dreams.

No, I would have to sacrifice my feelings, for her sake.

The rehearsal wedding was on September First, and so the day before I rented a tux from a place downtown for the occasion. Since I was in town, I decided to head into a bookstore, since I was suffering from a lack of good reading material. I was glancing at a John Irving book when I saw Todd down the aisle.

He was arm in arm with some girl with red hair. I almost dropped my book in horror, but then realized what must be going on.

Todd had a sister about that girl's age, and he mentioned before that she had red hair. I sighed and fumble to put my book back on the shelf. I straightened my Jacket and started towards them, waving my hand a little.

I guess they didn't see me, so I was about to call out Todd's name, when the girl kissed Todd full on the lips. I stopped dead in my tracks, and then ducked behind a staircase to avoid being seen.

Todd was cheating on Rachel. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know who that girl was, but I knew it wasn't his sister. I glanced back down the aisle and found Todd grabbing the girl's ass, French kissing her. I wanted more than anything to run over and punch Todd in the face, but kept my cool.

I left the store without Todd seeing me, and drove home. I burst in the door and went instantly for the phone. I called Rachel's Cell nearly ten times, but received no answer. I sighed, and left her a message telling her to call me back. Half of me wanted to tell her right then and there, but not over the phone. It had to be in person.

The rehearsal wedding was the next day, and I couldn't let Rachel marry this guy. I just couldn't let her marry a guy who would do this to her. I called a few more times, but received no answer. She must have been busy with the wedding, because she wasn't at work either.

I paced for nearly two hours, nearly crying. How could Todd do this? Didn't he realize that Rachel was, well, amazing? I nearly put my fist into my window and collapsed into bed.

I needed sleep, tomorrow I was going to break everything to her at the rehearsal wedding, I couldn't let her make this mistake.

In the morning I left early for the church, not wanting to let Rachel waste one more minute with that slime ball. I still couldn't believe what Todd was doing, he seemed so nice. I guess he had deceived both of us.

I arrived at the church an hour early, and burst in the door.

Todd and Rachel were standing at the podium, talking with a priest. I walked straight over to them, and when Rachel saw me coming, a smile spread across her face.

"You're a little early; I guess you couldn't wait either huh?" She said.

I looked at her and nearly fell over backward. She was beautiful. The morning light bathing her in its glory, she looked more beautiful than anything I had ever seen.

Todd could not have her; he could not have the love of my life.

"Rachel, I'm sorry," I said.

She looked confused," sorry for what?"

I sighed, cracked my knuckles, and punched Todd in the face.

It was a mighty blow, sending him backward and down the few steps that led to the main church floor. He grunted as I hit him, and didn't even have time to react before I was on top of him, punching him over and over again.

Rachel screamed, and pulled me off of him.

"John, what the fuck are you doing!" she screamed.

Even Todd looked surprised; he didn't even fight back, just sat there in confusion. I got up and pointed a finger at Todd. "Rachel, he's cheating on you," I said.

Rachel stared in disbelief at me, and then at Todd. She started to cry, and sat down.

Todd got up, and started screaming at me, "What the hell John!"

"Exactly, so who was that girl in the bookstore yesterday?" I said.

He froze, and then regained some composure. "You mean my sister?"

"Don't bullshit me Todd, no one French kisses and grabs there sisters ass. Were not that far south buddy," I said.

Todd looked at Rachel, and pleaded. "Sweetie, its not true, I would never do anything to hurt you, and you know that."

Rachel got up, and through teary eyes, gave me a hug.

"Why would you do this John?" She said.

"I didn't want to ruin anything, but it's the truth. I'm sorry about this, but I couldn't let you marry that asshole." I pointed a finger at Todd.

She walked over to Todd and helped him to his feet. She looked at him for a moment, and kissed him very passionately on the lips.

I couldn't believe my eyes, had she heard anything I just said. I cleared my throat.

I had to tell her.

"Rachel, I love you. I've always loved you. And as your best friend, I have to tell you that Todd is cheating on you. I saw him kiss some redhead girl in a bookstore yesterday," I said.

She looked at Todd, then back at me. "I'm Sorry John, but Todd would never do that to me. I know him too well, and I know he would never hurt me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Todd must have brainwashed her, because she was not this dumb. The Rachel I knew was way to smart for this. She must have seen some kind of sign of his infidelity.

"John, you're my best friend, and I did feel something for you a long time ago. But I'm with Todd, and that's how it's going to be," said Rachel.

I didn't know what to do; it didn't turn out how I thought it would. I pictured her running into my arms, like the girls did in the movies. It didn't turn out that way.

Tears ran down my face, and I ran out the door. I looked back at Rachel just before I was out the door. She was helping Todd up to his feet. And she was laughing. She was laughing like nothing had ever happened.

I ran out the door, broken hearted, tears running down my face. I went home and went to sleep. I didn't go to the wedding.

And I didn't see Rachel for another three years. I tried calling her, but she wouldn't answer. After a few months, I dropped by their apartment, and found out they had moved, out of state. She didn't bother telling me where. I felt horrible, and worse of all I felt betrayed. Its almost as if four years of friendship meant nothing to her.

But even after all that, I didn't hate her. I should of, hell; I deserved to be angry at her. But I couldn't bring myself to be mad at her, I loved her too much.

I graduated college, and moved to San Francisco. I got a little apartment overlooking Chinatown, and began my career working as an English teacher for the local school system. I taught freshman and sophomore English, and it was a nice job.

But no matter what I did, Rachel was always on my mind. I taught there for a few years, dating here and there. I tried to find a nice girl, but nothing ever worked out.

Rachel had set such a high standard for me, that I couldn't find another girl that even compared to her. They were nice girls, they just weren't Rachel. She had broken my heart, and ruined dating for me, but I didn't hate her. If anything it only made me love her more.

One summer day, I woke up to a knocking on my door. I had spent the previous night reading, and fell asleep on the couch. I glanced at the clock and realized it was already noon; I had slept in a lot.

The knocking on my door grew more intense, and I got up and answered the door.

There was Rachel, looking just as beautiful as the day she stood near the altar in the church.

She gave me a hug that would rival any bear. Again, she left me breathless. I glanced down at her, and had a million things to say, to ask.

"Rachel, what the...?"

She interrupted me with a kiss. For the first time in my life, I was kissing the girl I loved. Her lips tasted sweet, and I returned the kiss with excitement.

She pulled away and started to cry. "You were right John, you were completely right. I should have listened to you that day. I must have been fucked up in the head; I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so sorry, I don't, I mean, what..."

This time it was me to interrupt her with a kiss. She was so beautiful, I could hardly talk.

"Don't feel bad Rachel," I said. "But seriously, I told you he was an asshole."

She sighed, "I know, it was good for awhile, but I caught him in bed with another woman, just a couple days ago."

"A couple days, really? How did you get here that fast?" I said.

"I didn't waste any time. As soon as I caught him, less than five minutes later I called your parents and found out where you lived. I bought the next plane ticket to San Francisco, and now here I am."

"That's like something from the movies. Your really cliché ya know that?" I said.

She smiled and tackled me to the ground. Even though it had been years, she could still keep me on the floor.

"Hey Rachel"

"What?"

"I can see down your shirt."

With that, she kissed me.

After awhile she stuck her tongue in my mouth. Surprised, I stuck out my own tongue, and we French kissed until my face hurt.

I felt my cock grow, and soon it was fully erect. We kissed on the ground for awhile, but soon I got her up and took her to my bedroom.

I threw her on the bed and took off my shirt. She rubbed my stomach and smiled. "Have we been working out John?"

I chuckled, and kissed her neck. I nibbled slightly on her ear lobe and was rewarded by a deep sigh. She grabbed a hold of me tight, and rubbed my chest as I kissed around her face and neck.

I un-buttoned her blouse, and snapped her bra off in the back. I removed the bra and let her breasts free. They were just as petite and perky as when I last saw them. Her rosy pink nipples stood out stiff, and begged for attention.

I grabbed her breast, and massaged it gently. I took her left nipple in mouth, and let my tongue dance circles around it. She moaned slightly, and I started to nibble lightly on her nipple. She started to shake, grabbed my head and held it in place.