Love and Mistakes Ch. 09-10

"Okay Aaron, you can play with the legos, but I need all the big ones to make my tower," Sam said.

"Why don't you both work on the tower, that way you can get it twice as big," Shella suggested.

"Good idea Sam," Aaron said with a toothy grin. Shella nodded, headed back for the stairs, stopped and watched her boys for a minute before she went in search of her husband.

"You're tense tonight," Dex observed as he massaged Shella's shoulders gently. She winced when he hit a large knot; Dex frowned and went to work, kneading the knot as gently as he could.

"I'm worried about Netalia. I don't know where she is, if she's safe or if she's been seeing a doctor," Shella murmured.

"You have to trust her Shel. I know Netalia has been through a lot, but she isn't a child, and I'm sure, despite all she's gone through lately and all she's feeling that she's seen an OB. She's a smart girl," Dex said. Shella gave a small smile and nodded.

"I know, and you're right, but that isn't going to make me stop worrying. Not until I see her, or at the very least, talk to her on the phone," Shella said. Dex chuckled slightly.

"I'm with you," he admitted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Back again doll?" Lauren asked as Jordan walked into the restaurant. Jordan nodded, his stomach tied in knots as nerves at away at him. "We close in two minutes," Lauren warned.

"I know. I'll just take my usual," Jordan said. "But could you tell Netalia that one of the customers wants her to bring out the meal herself? Make up a reason, but I need to see her and I don't want to scare her," Jordan added.

"Sure," Lauren said giving him an easy smile. She was jealous of the fact that Netalia had gotten someone as fine as Jordan.

Lauren walked into the kitchen. "You know girl, in that uniform, you don't even look pregnant," she commented.

"I know," Netalia said with a chuckle.

"Are you sure you're pregnant?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah. Are we done for the night?" Netalia wanted to know.

"Nope, one last ticket. He just walked in but I have a problem. I got a text from my brother, my mom's in the hospital and I need to leave now; it doesn't look good. I know you aren't a waitress, but the guy that just walked in is the last one here, do you think you could handle taking his food out to him? He's at table three" Lauren asked.

"No problem Lauren, go take care of your mom," Netalia said. Lauren nodded, punched out and slipped out the back door.

Jordan waited nervously and toyed with the straw in his glass of water. He didn't know how Netalia would react to seeing him but he hoped she wouldn't be upset or scared. A million thoughts ran through his head; was he ready to be a father and if he wasn't, should he stay anyway or leave? Did he love Netalia enough to try to make it work? He knew, deep down that he did, but he was scared; he had never loved anyone like he loved Netalia, and that love had almost gotten him killed. The fact that he hadn't been able to save Sebastian and keep him safe like he had promised ate away at him like stomach acid ate at an ulcer. Would Netalia forgive him for not being able to save the little boy he had promised to protect?

All thoughts drifted away when he saw Netalia in the doorway to the dining room. She glanced around and when she found table three, she carried the plate of food over, without really paying attention to who was sitting at the table. "Can I get you anything else?" Netalia asked.

Jordan swallowed and hoped his voice wouldn't crack. "Hello Netalia," he said.

Netalia finally looked at him, eyes wide, a soft gasp escaped her lips. "Jordan?" she whispered. He nodded, stood up, reached for her. For a moment, neither of them spoke; Jordan held his breath as he waited for Netalia to make the first move. Finally, after what seemed like ages, Netalia launched herself into his arms. He sighed in relief and held her close; he could feel the subtle changes her body, the hard roundness of her abdomen and even the feel of her breasts against his chest felt different. "Are you okay? There wasn't any permanent damage was there?" Netalia asked.

"I'm fine Lia," Jordan promised.

"Thank God," she whispered, tears springing to her eyes. Jordan could feel the dampness of her tears against the softness of his shirt.

"Don't cry Lia, please," Jordan pleaded.

"She's been doing that a lot lately," a man said from the doorway where the kitchen and dining room met. Jordan's eyes snapped forward, his heart racing as different thoughts ran through his mind. Had Netalia been seeing this man?

"My name is Luis, I'm Nancy's, husband," the man introduced himself as if he read Jordan's mind.

"Jordan St. James," Jordan said as Luis walked over to them. Luis set the plate of food down next to Jordan's plate and extended his right hand to Jordan who took it and shook it.

"You sit down missy and eat everything on that plate now; then I want you to go home. You've been working almost non-stop for the last two weeks and you need to slow down before you get sick," Luis warned. Netalia started to protest, but the look of concern on Jordan's face stopped her.

Jordan and Netalia ate in relative silence, stole glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. "How have you been?" Jordan asked finally. Netalia shrugged.

"I've been okay. I still miss Sebastian," Netalia murmured.

"I think you always will," Jordan told her. Netalia smiled slightly and tried to blink away the tears that sprang to her eyes. He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "I miss him too," he admitted. Netalia's smile widened a bit and she reached for her glass of water.

"Are you ready to go?" Netalia asked softly. Jordan nodded, stood and reached for his wallet.

"Your money's no good here Mr. St. James," Luis said from behind the counter. Jordan started to protest but Luis shook his head. "You save your money for that baby," Luis told Jordan. Netalia blanched, not knowing that Jordan already knew about the baby.

"It's okay Lia, I already know," Jordan said softly as he led her out to his car.

"How?" Netalia asked.

"Your mom told me," Jordan said. Netalia shook her head and sighed. "Don't be mad, she was hoping that if I knew, that I'd go off after you," he added.

"And did you?" Netalia asked.

"I was going to come after you regardless, but the thought of you being alone and pregnant with my child terrified me," Jordan admitted. "Where are you staying?" he asked. Netalia directed him to the tiny apartment. "It's cute," Jordan told her.

"Yeah, very quaint and cozy," Netalia murmured. While Jordan surveyed the apartment, Netalia retreated to her bedroom to take off the excessively baggy uniform. Netalia glanced up to see Jordan standing in the doorway with an odd look on his face. "Jordan, are you okay?" Netalia asked, reaching for a tank top.

"I'm fine," he answered, taking a few steps towards her. He drank her in; her hair was tied back into a tight pony tail and she now wore a light peach tank top with a pair of blue jeans; the soft swell of her abdomen made her look, in his opinion, sexy as hell and he felt himself harden while he studied her.

"What's wrong?" Netalia wanted to know.

"Nothing's wrong. I was just trying to imprint the way you look to memory," Jordan said.

"Are you leaving?" Netalia asked, secretly panicking at the thought.

"Not without you," Jordan promised. "I was just thinking how beautiful you look right now," he added.

"You must have had some brain damage because this is not beautiful," Netalia told him. Jordan shook his head.

"Netalia Rosa, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I don't think I've ever seen you look as sexy as you do right now," Jordan insisted.

"Show me," Netalia whispered, emotions raging through her. Jordan pulled her to him and kissed her hard, a hand slipping down her jeans, past her panties and brushed by her clit. Netalia moaned and arched against him.

"Wait," Jordan managed. He pulled his hand out of her pants and slowly undressed her, savoring every inch of her; worshiping her body with a sensual kiss. By the time Jordan had pulled off her jeans, Netalia was moaning loudly and writhing on the bed. Jordan grinned as he stretched out beside her. He dipped two of his fingers deep inside her, stroking her gently causing her to wimper pleadingly at him.

"Jordan, please," she whispered, reaching for his belt buckle. Jordan stood up quickly and pulled his jeans and boxers off and threw them across the room before pulling his tee-shirt over his head. He kissed her tenderly as he slipped inside her. Netalia moaned and raised her hips to meet his. Jordan tried to take things slowly, but after months of being without her had him thrusting frantically inside her. The noises Netalia was making were driving Jordan crazy.

"God Netalia, you're so beautiful," he murmured, cupping a breast gently. He brushed his thumb over the nipple until it was a hard, stiff peak. Netalia cried out loudly and clung to Jordan as her orgasm swept over her; hers triggered his and he pulsed within her, his seed shooting into her.

Netalia opened her eyes, rolled over and smiled softly when she saw Jordan asleep next to her. He was laying on his back and Netalia traced the scar from the shooting and surgery with a finger and released a troubled sigh before getting out of bed. "Netalia?" Jordan asked, propping himself up in bed. She turned and looked at him. "Are you okay?" he wanted to know.

"No," she admitted before walking into the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How are you doing?" Jordan asked, glancing at her quickly before turning his concentration back to the road.

"I'm tired, but I'll be glad to see my family," Netalia admitted.

"Why did you take off like that?" Jordan wanted to know.

"I needed some time alone to think," Netalia answered.

"But you didn't call your parents to let them you that you're okay," Jordan said.

"I know. I didn't want anyone to know where I was. I wanted to think without pressure," Netalia murmured.

"Your mom and dad were worried," Jordan told her. Netalia nodded.

"I figured as much," she said quietly. When Jordan glanced at her again, her eyes were closed. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided that it was best to let her sleep.

"Netalia, we're almost there," Jordan said, shaking her gently. Netalia's eyes fluttered open and she blinked slowly as she looked around. She could see her parents waiting on the front porch as Jordan pulled into a driveway.

"Are you alright?" Shella asked when Netalia stepped out of the car.

"Yes," Netalia murmured, giving her mother a hug.

"Don't you ever do that again," Dex scolded, pulling his daughter into his arms.

"I needed some space," Netalia grumbled.

"Regardless, never disappear like that again," Dex told her firmly. Netalia gave a watery smile and nodded sheepishly.

"Netalia!" Sara shouted, running out of the house, Aaron and Sam right behind her. Paul stood on the bottom step, a defiant expression on his face.

"Hey guys," Netalia said, kneeling down and giving her brothers and sister a hug.

"Dinner is almost ready," Shella announced, ushering everyone inside the house.

"Netalia?" Jordan asked, walking out to the balcony. Netalia turned and gave a small smile. "We probably should talk about what we're going to do," he added.

"What do you want to do?" Netalia asked.

"I don't know. I never really thought about having kids right now," Jordan admitted.

"You were so good with Sebastian," Netalia murmured. Jordan gave a sad smile.

"I would have died for him Lia, I wish to God that I could take his place, to spare you the pain of having lost him," Jordan told her.

"But then I would have lost you," Netalia whispered. Jordan sighed but said nothing as he studied her face. He looked up as Dex knocked quietly on the door to the deck.

"I have one of the guest rooms set up," Dex told Jordan.

Jordan nodded and returned his attention to Netalia. "Lia, look at me," Jordan said softly. She looked up at him with tear stained eyes. "I'll do anything you want me to do. If you want me to walk away from you, I'll do it, but please let me have a chance to get to know our baby," he murmured. Netalia wiped the tears away and nodded.

"I'm tired, I'm going to bed," she said before walking away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mommy!" Sebastian exclaimed through huge sobs.

"Sebastian?" Netalia asked, looking around. It was dark, foggy and cold; she panicked, thinking her beautiful son was lost in the dark. "Sebastian, call for me again!" Netalia called.

"Mommy help!" Sebastian cried. Netalia pushed past a large black sheet hanging from a clothes line and found herself face to face with her little boy, a pool of blood in the center of his chest. "You killed me mommy," Sebastian told her.

"No, Sebastian, I didn't kill you! I tried to protect you!" Netalia protested.

"It's all your fault," Sebastian said.

"NO!" Netalia screamed.

"It is your fault Neta. You choose to whore yourself out instead of staying with me and our son. It's your fault our son is dead," Cory said, standing next to Sebastian.

"NO!" Netalia screamed.

"Lia!" Jordan exclaimed, shaking her gently. Netalia sat up with a shrill scream and Jordan instantly pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.

"What happened?" Dex asked as he, Shella and Darius approached the room. "You can put your gun away Darius," he added.

"I think she just had a bad dream," Jordan said.

"It's my fault," Netalia moaned.

"What's your fault?" Jordan asked, turning his attention back to Netalia.

"Sebastian's death. It's my fault. I killed my son!" Netalia exclaimed.

"No, Lia, it isn't your fault. It was an accident," Jordan soothed.

"It's my fault! Nothing you can say will make me think otherwise!" Netalia cried. Jordan glanced helplessly at Shella who was already on the phone. Billy got there within minutes and Jordan moved so that the doctor could get close to her.

"Netalia, listen to me. You need to calm down or I'll have to sedate you," Billy warned.

"I killed my baby," Netalia whimpered through sob induced hiccups.

"Netalia, calm down," Billy tried again.

"It's my fault!" she cried. Billy sighed and started rummaging through his bag.

"She's pregnant," Jordan told him quietly. Billy looked at him sharply, sighed but grabbed a different sedative and injected Netalia with it.

"I gave her a low dose of Vistairl; it won't hurt the baby but it will make her sleepy. I suggest you get a therapist to come and speak with her," Billy murmured, leading Jordan out to the hall.

"Is she going to be okay?" Dex asked. He was deeply worried about his daughter, in the years that he had known her, he had never seen her react this badly to a situation.

"Yes, in time, she'll be fine," Billy promised. "She should speak with a therapist," he added.

"Whatever she needs," Dex promised. "Will you stay since it's this late?" he asked.

"Yes, I want to look in on Netalia in the morning anyway," Billy answered.

"Everyone go back to bed," Dex commanded. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked Jordan.

"I'm not leaving Netalia alone tonight," Jordan answered.

"Let him go," Shella said softly.

"If Neta's breathing quickens for more than a few minutes and if her pulse goes up, come get me instantly," Billy told Jordan. Jordan nodded and disappeared into Netalia's room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jordan asked Netalia as they walked up the sidewalk leading to the prison.

"I need to talk to Cory," Netalia murmured.

"You know he's going to go off the deep end when he sees that you're pregnant," Jordan warned.

"I need closure," Netalia told him.

"What are you doing here?" Cory asked.

"I needed to see you," Netalia said.

"Why?" Cory wanted to know.

"I had a really horrible nightmare the other night. Sebastian was blaming me for his death," Netalia murmured. Cory reached across the table and squeezed her hand.

"I'm the one to blame Netalia. Yes, you cheated on me and yes, it pissed me off and you shouldn't have taken Sebastian on the run with you, but with as angry as I was, I understand why you did. But understand this, you had no part in Bastian's death, that was all me and my blinding rage. As pissed at you as I was, you were a great mother to our son," Cory told her. Tears filled her eyes and a few trailed down her cheeks. Cory leaned across the table and wiped them away. "Are you alright? You look a little pale," Cory murmured.

"I'm okay," Netalia said softly.

"She's more than okay, she's fine!" a man at a nearby table hooted. "C'mere baby, how about you give me a lap dance?" he asked with a leering grin.

"She's off limits," Cory growled. The man stood up, grabbed Netalia's arm and pulled her up and into his arms. "Let her go," Cory insisted, standing up.

"Make me your highness," the man sneered. As Cory stepped towards the man and Netalia, a guard stepped forward.

"Let her go Wallace," the guard warned. Wallace considered how close the guard was and pushed Netalia into Cory's arms. Cory's eyes went wide and he stared at Netalia in surprise.

"You're pregnant?" Cory asked.

"Yes. I didn't mean for it to happen," Netalia murmured. Cory sighed and shook his head.

"Are you alright? Do you need to see a doctor?" Cory asked. Netalia shook her head but Cory turned to one of the guards. "Hey Scott, she might need to see the nurse," Cory told one of the guards. Scott walked over to the table.

"What's up Cory?" Scott asked.

"She's pregnant," Cory told the guard.

"I'm fine, he just grabbed my arm," Netalia protested.

"Are you sure?" Cory asked.

"Yes. And if I need a doctor later, Billy is staying with my parents for a few days while his house gets fumigated," Netalia answered. Cory nodded, satisfied with her answer.

"Netalia," Cory called as she turned to leave the room. Netalia turned back around to face her ex husband. "I wish things had been different, that I had been a better husband to you. I hope you can forgive me one day and that you find someone to make you happy. Be safe Netalia. I promise you, I won't do anything more to hurt you," Cory said. Netalia gave him a small smile and left the prison.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?" Netalia said into the phone.

"Netalia, it's Devon. I have good news and bad news for you."

"Hey Dev, it's good to hear your voice, is everything okay?" Netalia wanted to know.

"It's a girl," Devon announced.

"Oh Dev, that's great!" Netalia exclaimed.

"We named her Savannah Grace," Devon said.

"I'm happy for you," Netalia murmured. "But what's the bad news?" she wanted to know.

"I got a call from the prison this morning. Cory committed suicide some time last night," Devon said gently. "Netalia?" Devon asked, growing concern when he heard a small thud followed by a larger thud.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Netalia," Devon said softly as she hesitantly made her way over to him.

"Hi Dev, I'm sorry about Cory. Despite all he's done to me, I did love him and I know you did too," Netalia murmured.

"You don't belong here you little whore. You're no better than Eden. I bet Sebastian wasn't even Cory's son!" an older version of Devon snapped.

"That's enough father," Devon growled. He turned back to Netalia. "Ignore him, everyone else does," he suggested. Netalia gave a small smile and allowed Devon to pull her into a hug. He gave her a questioning look, she sighed and nodded. "How are you?" Devon asked.

"Confused, tired, emotional, upset; go ahead and take your pick," Netalia answered. Devon chuckled. "Do you have a picture of Savannah I could see? How's Aimee doing? What about Lizzie? I bet she's huge!" Netalia exclaimed.