Love and Mistakes Ch. 09-10

"Yes, she is. She turns nine next month. Aimee's doing great, I swear, she's the perfect mother," Devon answered, pulling out his wallet to show Netalia the pictures.

"Oh Dev, she's beautiful," Netalia murmured.

"Yes, she is."

"King Dex, it's good to see you again," Devon said.

"Yes, hello Dex," Devon's father greeted.

"Martin," Dex said politely. "Netalia, are you sure you want to be here?" Dex asked gently. Netalia looked torn.

"Netalia, you don't have to stay if you don't want to, I appreciate you stopping by, but if this is going to be too much for you, you should go," Devon said, giving Netalia a meaningful look. Netalia gave Devon a grateful smile. "Oh, before you go, in the note Cory left, he asked that I bring this to you and give it to you. It's something he had been working on since Sebastian was born and for all of his faults, I know my brother loved that little boy more than life itself," Devon murmured. Tears filled Netalia's eyes as she nodded and accepted the package.

"I know. And he was a good father," Netalia agreed. She gave Devon another hug. "Congrats on Savannah, she's absolutely perfect. Please tell Aimee and Lizzy I said hello and that I miss them," Netalia murmured.

"I will. Take care Neta," Devon said. Netalia nodded, smiled then turned and followed her father out of the church.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Does everything look okay?" Jordan asked as the technician performed the ultrasound. Netalia rolled her eyes; it was the fifth time in ten minutes that he had asked that.

"I know you are curious and worried and it's perfectly normal, but if something appears to be off, I will let you know," the technician said politely. Jordan watched, fascinated as he watched the child he and Netalia created move around. "I can't get a clear shot of the genitals, so I can't tell you what the sex is, but I can tell you that things look perfect as far as I can tell. Your doctor will be able to tell you more," she told Netalia. Netalia nodded, thanked the woman and as soon as she was cleaned up and checked out, she left the clinic, Jordan hurrying behind.

"Netalia, what the hell is the matter with you?" Jordan asked a few days later.

"Nothing," Netalia muttered as she peeled some apples.

"Come on Netalia, I know you better than that." He pulled the apple and peeler from her hands and pulled her to him. "Lia, talk to me," he murmured.

"I'm overwhelmed by all of this. If someone had told me when I married Cory that I would have cheated on him, ran from him when he decided to kill me and my boyfriend and lose my son all within the same time frame, I would have asked what drugs they were taking and where I could get some. So much has happened and I haven't had time to process any of it," Netalia said.

"Lia, I know that was a lot, and I know you miss Sebastian, so do I, but we can't change the past," Jordan reminded her.

"I know that Jordan," Netalia sighed. She sighed when the baby insider her kicked out; Jordan smiled and touched his hand against her abdomen. "I wish you wouldn't do that," she muttered.

"Why not?" Jordan asked. Netalia sighed, pulled away and reached for the apple again. "Netalia, talk to me," Jordan said firmly.

"I'm not even sure if I want the baby or not Jordan," Netalia said finally.

"What?" Jordan asked, his eyes widening with surprise.

"I just buried my son, not even a year ago and his father three weeks ago," Netalia reminded him.

"Netalia, he hurt you, he doesn't deserve for you to mourn him," Jordan growled.

"But he gave me Sebastian."

"Yeah, and took him away!" Jordan exclaimed.

"I loved him Jordan. Despite all of his faults, I loved him," Netalia whispered.

"And what about me? Do you love me?" Jordan asked, not one hundred percent sure he wanted to know the answer to that.

"I love you Jordan; I just don't what kind of love it is," Netalia said softly. Jordan let go of her hands and took a step back.

"What will it take?" Jordan asked.

"Can you give me some time? Time alone, to think? I promise to keep you updated on what the OB says about the baby, if you want to know and if you want, I'll call you when I go into labor, but I need time," Netalia said.

"You only have a nine weeks to go," Jordan reminded her.

"I know. And I know you want to be here to help me through this, and I appreciate it, but I feel like I can't breathe around you. I just need some more time apart then we've been getting," Netalia murmured. Jordan sighed. "Are you sure?" Jordan asked. Netalia nodded, unable to trust her voice; afraid that if she opened her mouth to speak, she would tell him she wasn't sure of anything and that she was scared shit-less. "Okay Lia. I'll do anything to keep from causing you more pain. You know how to get a hold of me if you need me," Jordan said. He pressed his lips to hers tenderly before walking out of the door and into the heat of the afternoon.

*

I know some of you will be disappointed by some of the events in these two chapters, but the story will have a mostly happy ending to it, I promise! Thanks for reading! Ashira