Love: Finding the Cost

She still had her cute little panties on as her body stretched across the bed, looking for my warmth. Her long red hair was a riot of curls as it hid one of her ripe nipples from my view. I licked my lips remembering what they felt like on my tongue. I couldn't resist. I leaned down and softly brushed her hair out of my way.

Letting my hair trail down her face and neck, as I captured one of her nipples and softly suckled. I felt her moan before I heard it. I looked up and met her gaze as I continued to give her the attention she deserved.

"Good morning gorgeous." She said in her silken voice, as she reached up and cupped my head against her breast.

"MMMmmmnnnnnn...." I vibrated her nipple, giving her my response.

"Oh goddess; that feels good...!" She whispered as I switched nipples, giving the other one the attention.

Knowing what I liked when she made love to me, I started trailing kisses down her flat stomach, taking my time as I sampled her flawless flesh. When I got to the bright tuft of hair over her panty line, I took it in my mouth and pulled, making her lift up so I could get the barrier out of my way.

She had a heavy musky scent as her moist lips came into view. I didn't hesitate as I rooted around; looking for the nubbin I knew would bring her pleasure. I might have been unskilled at this, but then again, being a woman, I know where another woman will fell pleasure.

"You don't..." She hissed as I found her clit. "Oh, don't stop..." She shuttered as I licked and sucked her throbbing hooded pea. "Finger me.... Please...." She gasped as I got into a good rhythm. Following her request, I took my right index and middle finger and parted the core of her heated sex.

Putting them in, she lurched against my face and moaned. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, more... give me more." She panted as I started feeling small little tremors through her body. Wishing for nothing more than giving her the same feeling she gave me. I slid in my ring finger as she undulated, moving my fingers in and out of her. I had to lean up on my other elbow to keep her clit between my lips.

"More, sweetie, give me ore... Ohmygggg you feel so good, give it to me.... Give me it all." Her breathing became labored as I slid my pinky in her. I don't know how they all fit; she was squeezing them so tight. I leaned back to look, rubbing her clit with my thumb as she reached down and folded my thumb into my palm. She was so wet, there wasn't any resistance as all of a sudden, my hand slid into her and she called out.

"OH YES...! That's it.... Now curve your fingers I'm... I'm ...!" She flung her head back as I tried to do what she wanted. I ended up curling my fingers into a fist and as she thrust down. My whole hand slipped inside her with a pop. She went ballistic. I thought she would break my arm as I tried to hold it still and not hurt her. I felt a hard spot on my first knuckle and twisted my wrist to avoid hurting her. It had an effect I never knew possible.

"Lick me, lick my pussy... eat me... oh yeah...!" She panted.

Leaning down, I captured her nub and got a shower for my effort. As soon as my lips locked on her sex, she started spraying my face with her liquid. Her grunts and moans were so loud they had to be able to hear them a mile away. I did the best I could to ride it out with her until suddenly, she collapsed.

It startled me at first. One second she screeching in climax and then I could barely see her chest move with her breathing. As carefully as I could, I pulled my hand back, trying to extricate it from her body. I watched in awe as she jerked a little and oozed more cum as I pulled my hand out.

I flexed my hand as I went into the closet to get us a towel. I never knew a woman could cum so much. By the time I got back, she was sleeping peacefully as I cleaned her up. Putting the towel under me, I snuggled next to my new lover and dozed, happy in the knowledge that I had given her pleasure.

I don't know how much later it was, but I kept wanting to swat away the constant buzzing that kept waking me up. I had hoped it wouldn't start again, after it stopped as I cuddled back into Belinda. I couldn't help it, her nipples looks so good, I had to taste again.

Belinda's eyes fluttered open and the damn buzzing started again. "What timesit?" She muttered into my hair.

"Don't know, don't care." I said as I nibbled.

"I could get behind that." She sighed and shifted her weight. "OH SHIT...! Let me up sweetheart, I've got to go. The store...!" She jumped up and scrambled to the bathroom. Ten seconds later, just barely covered by her dress, she bolted to the back door. I heard voices and I wonder what was going on. Taking a chance, I listed at the stairs.

"I'm sorry, I over slept... If it's not busy, go ahead and close early. I'll be down as soon as I can." She told whoever was at the door and handed them the big set of keys she always had. As she came back up, I looked at her with love filled eyes and asked.

"Are you in trouble?" I softly stroked her as she passed.

"Not really, but Kyle is pissed. Not that it's anything new for him." She stretched. "He said he had been buzzing the bell for a half an hour."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know what it was. I just ignored it and snuggled you." I stepped closer to her and put my arm around her.

"My aren't we insatiable...?" She smiled down at me and sniffed. "We need a bath." She smiled again and pulled me into her shower and turned on the water.

I jumped at the cold water as it hit my skin. After a second it started warming up as she pulled out her shampoo and washed my hair. The water was cold again by the time we were clean and relaxed.

"For someone who is still technically a virgin, you sure caught on fast." She breathed into my hair as I hugged her. "I have to go to work. Can I see you tonight?" She asked uncertain what would happen now that we would be separated and I had time to think things over.

"I could come into the store." I said, not moving from her arms.

"No, I'm sorry but if you showed up at work, I wouldn't get anything done. I will call you if we close early, but I need you to take some time and think this through." She said hugging me tight.

"Okay, I will." I said sadly, hoping I wasn't some kind of one night stand. "I'll be here at closing."

"If not, just give me a call." Belinda said before letting me go. "You'd better go before I change my mind" She kissed me hard and swatted my butt, sending me down her stairs.

***

Since I didn't have that much to think over, I went to my room and crashed. I set my alarm for an hour before the book store closed. I did wonder if it was the same way for my mother. Did she find love in the arms of a woman after her first time?

As I dreamt, no longer did Michelle haunt my dreams. Now I had someone else who consumed my mind. As I took my second shower of the day, I wondered about her technically a virgin comment. I also wondered if she expected me to be able to fit her long hand inside me during sex. It didn't matter. Since I loved her, I would do what it took to keep my lover happy.

When I showed up at the store, I wanted nothing more than to go up and give her a great big kiss. I knew she saw me, because she smiled at me. I did take a step back from the warning in her eyes. In the fifteen minutes it took her to close, I wondered if she now felt like I was a mistake.

I know I shouldn't have worried about it, but you have to remember I was still new to this. Trust me; I know from the experience of friends, that love didn't always flow both ways. Just because I was head over heels in love with her, didn't mean she felt the same about me.

As soon as the door was locked and the lights out, she spun me around and showed me what she felt. My head was still spinning when her lips captured mine. After we kissed and until the chill of the heater being off got to us, we kissed. She pulled me toward the back stairs, but I couldn't wait any longer.

I pushed her against the railing and dove under her dress. In seconds, I had her panties pushed to the side and my nose buried in her damp pussy. Taking two fingers, I slid them inside her and licked her clit until I felt her stiffen up.

"Easy sweetheart, I'm still tender from last night." She said in a pant, as I finger fucked my lover. After she coated my face with her juice, I licked my fingers and stood up.

"Yummy." I smiled impishly.

"Damn, I almost convinced myself that last night was a dream." She pushed her dress down. "You sure you've thought this through?" She asked quietly.

"What's to think through? I fell in love with the most beautiful person in the world and we made love until we passed out." I said as I nipped her chin.

"You weren't freaked out?" She asked as I saw her pulse pound in her neck.

"By what...? It's getting cold, can we make it upstairs before I strip you right here and lick you until you scream?" I gave her my best naughty girl look and batted my eyes.

"Please don't bat the 'Love' word around unless you mean it." She said as she turned and pushed me upstairs.

"Okay." I said and waited for her to open the door.

"Okay what...?" She said as she tossed her big bag on the end of the couch.

"Okay, I won't toss the love word around unless I mean it.... I mean it. I love you! I've been falling for you since the second time we saw each other. You're a great friend and a better lover. I've waited twenty years to give myself to someone and that someone is you. If I'm still 'technically a virgin', it's because my lover hasn't taken my cherry yet. But it's yours to take." I said in all seriousness.

"Wow... um ... wow.... I don't know what to say to that." I knew I stunned her as her knees went weak. "I need a minute... I never thought. I'd hoped but never thought... and you weren't freaked out by me wanting you to...." She was for the first time since I've know her speechless.

"What...? Make you cum, lick you as you sprayed my face, and made you cum so hard you passed out?" I said tilting my head trying to figure out what she was so afraid of.

"Fisting me...!" She blurted. "I loved it when you had your whole fist in me, making me cum." She blushed a pretty pink.

"If that what my lover wants? Isn't it in my best interest to know what turns my lover on? As long as I was making you happy, I was happy. I came while I was making you cum. It was such a turn on. Although the squirting was a bit... well I've heard of it but never. But still, I loved the fact that it was me making you... taking you there." I said trying to put my feelings into words.

"I've never done that before." She smiled shyly. "I was so turned on when you showed up, I knew if you kissed me, I'd cum on the spot, and that's bad for business."

"Why...?" I asked as I sat next to her on the couch.

"They have to think that they have at least a chance. I mean you've seen them drool and stumble over themselves trying to get next to me. I just used it to help my business.' She said with a confused look on her face.

"Your business...?" I asked looking into her eyes.

"Shit.... I didn't... hell the cat's out of the bag now. At least you told me you love me before you knew." Belinda said and started ringing her hands. "Yeah, I um own the book store I just don't work there." I could feel the fear radiating off her.

"Oh... I didn't know. I just thought... I mean I know you're always there. I just thought you needed the money."

She laughed. "That's the last thing I need. I bought it when I graduated from... well someone who taught me what it was like to really learn. And to give back."

"Your first lover...?" I said knowing I was right.

"That too.... Her and Mrs. Fairchild." She said looking for my reaction.

"Do you still see Mrs. Fairchild?" I asked a bit frosty.

"No... I'm not into the things she is. It was an education, but still.... She opened my eyes to a lot of things." Belinda said with a faraway look in her beautiful eyes.

"Okay... that I can work with." I said and leaned into her. "Just tell me if I'm some fling. I rather know now, than really open my heart to have it broken." I said softly, hoping she wouldn't break it now.

"What about children?" She asked seriously. "What if we do stay together? What about children? There is only one way I know of getting pregnant. Well there is the turkey plunger method, but its cost prohibitive and I rather know who the father is anyway."

"So you would want to have sex with a guy to get pregnant?" I asked, not knowing if I could do that for her.

"No sweetheart, I can't have kids. I had a bad fever when I was a kid and the oven is closed, according to the doctors. You... you would have to bring the kids in. I want kids."

"Do we have to talk about this now? I just realized in the last twenty four hours that I was in love and want to be with you. This is a bit much right now." I said my head spinning.

"I'm sorry sweetheart; I'm just over compensating because you've shocked me. It's a bad habit of mine." She kissed my head. "If I feel threatened, I use logic and worse case scenarios to push people away."

"Can't I just love you and see where it goes from there?" I asked confused.

"Damn, even after all that, you can still say you love me and have it show in your eyes. I'm not sure what to do with that." She bit her lip.

"Just love me back or let me know if you don't." I took another chance and reached up and stroked her face.

***

So started my love life with Belinda. It might not have been the best start, but it was a start. All I knew was every time we made love, I fell deeper and deeper. She taught and I learned.

I learned that she didn't like fisting all the time, but just once in a while when she was really wound up. I also learned that I could make her cum without touching her at all. All I had to do was flash my wet panties at her while she tried to keep it together at work and after a few minutes, I would see her shake and knew when she got home, I'd have a musky pussy to clean up.

I had basically moved out of the house and was staying at Belinda's apartment except when I had to do a sorority thing. Then I acted like the doting freshman I was and did what my older sisters demanded.

Then came the plans for Christmas. I had started talking to Tony on a more regular basis and he came up with the idea of the video chat for mom. I was all for it now that Belinda had opened my eyes to the love mom shared with Michelle. How could I deny them the happiness I craved with my lover?

I guess you could say we all got what we wanted that year. Mom and Michelle traded wedding rings, Tony got to see me make mom happy, and I finally lost my virginity to my lover.

It's funny the way it happened. We had swapped gifts earlier and Belinda kept teasing me with mine. She got me a cute pink double headed toy. She said if she got to fuck me, then I should be able to fuck her at the same time.

We had to do something to stay awake. It started innocently. She started wiggling my toy as I tried to set up the camera. I, of course, wasn't going to let her get away with that, so I tickled her until she was crying happy tears. Then one thing led to another and we were making love.

I had made her cum and she was trying not to. So, she pinned me down and started teasing me. I didn't know she had the toy until I felt it at my lips. The next thing I know she kisses me hard and I felt it break through my barrier.

She kept kissing me as I got over the pain then started to slowly move it in and out. She was sucking both my nipples when I finally tumbled over to orgasm. If you want to know the truth, she was sitting naked across the room from me as I watched my mom give Michelle her ring. Belinda was just off camera, licking her lips, and showing me her wet pussy, teasing me as I tried to keep my attention to what was happening at home.

As soon as I sighed off, I jumped her, fisting her until she couldn't move for teasing me while I was on the computer. To be honest I thought life couldn't get any better. I loved her and she loved me and the world kept spinning.

***

Then spring break happened. Belinda had to stay at the store and do some family things she told me. I was happy to stay with her, but my house was going to an east coast beach. Belinda told me that it was okay to go and even packed my stuff for me.

Okay, so here's the truth. In point of fact, we had a big, fat, hairy, fight. To be honest, I was ready to move in with her, take a trip to New Jersey, where marriage is legal for us, and live happily ever after, with the love of my life.

She kept telling me that I need to make sure. That I needed to do some experimentation, and to sow my wild oats, explore my sexuality. I got sick and tired of it. I was also done with not being able to give her a kiss after a long hard day when I came into the store. I told her if she didn't want me, then just tell me and quit making all these stupid fucking excuses.

Then she went into this speech of how I was so new and to make sure that this is what I wanted etc.... Then she stepped in it. She said something stupid about my mom probably having more than one lover before she got married.

I slapped her back with, "As far as I know, my mom has made love with two people in her life. My dad and Michelle and she married both. We don't give ourselves to people we don't love." And packed my stuff. Her apartment was decidedly less cluttered when I told her if that's what she wants, then that's what she'll get.

So there I was, on the perfect beach, in the perfect suit, on a perfect day, and I was miserable. I was with my house sisters, pretending to have fun, when they walked by. Yeah it was spring break, so all the beaches were full of college students blowing off some steam.

If I wasn't feeling so alone, I never would have gone out with them. But hey, I was here to experience life to the fullest. After the first night, Mike, who was the perfect gentleman, walked me back to my room to make sure I got back safely. So, I figured if I was going to hang out with a guy, Mike seemed like the perfect sort.

Again, long story short.... By the end of the week, we were an item. On the second to the last night there, I had too much to drink, missed Belinda too much, and Mike and I ended up in bed together. To be blunt, we fucked like bunnies. Neither one were walking straight when we finished.

We kissed at the bus, exchanged information, realized we weren't that far from each other and went back to school. As far as the sex went, it was sex. Tab D inserted into slot P, move vigorously, and repeat as necessary. It was fun. It relieved stress, and filled the void in my heart.

You see in my family you really can't just have sex with someone. The heart has to be involved or it just doesn't work. Of course I felt so guilty on the ride home. I didn't know what to do with myself. So being hurt, I just stayed away.

I mean I didn't leave my room except to go to class. I didn't talk to anyone other than my mom via text, my brother, and on occasion, Mike. With Mike, well since we were involved, I did spend some weekends at his dorm and yes, we made love. One time it was actually good enough to make me cry.

Him being a male, he was shocked and bugged me about what was wrong, until I told him. He was shocked, but made a good recovery. He told me as long as I was honest with him, he could handle it. I felt a little relieved and went back to my school.

For those of you who are looking for some lurid details of our sex. I'm sorry; I'm just not that imaginative. It was sex. The biggest variation was who was on top. He couldn't eat pussy to save his life and I much rather be licking pussy than sucking on his dick. So, okay, there it is in a nut shell.