Love From Ashes

"Well, you made my childhood better." He sat forward and deposited his glass beside mine. "It was nice having a girl around. Even if it had to be you."

"Hey!" I really did intend to smack him, but he turned and caught my wrist. I saw the flash of his eyes. He leaned towards me, and his other hand cupped my jaw.

"I'm glad it was you, Jaynie."

And then he kissed me.

It happened so suddenly that I just gasped. His lips were warm and soft, and I couldn't believe he'd actually done it until he wasn't anymore. I blinked and stared at him, unable to find my voice.

"I'm sorry, Jaynie. I had to. I've always wanted to. And I...I...I just had to."

I let out a small cry, unable to form any words. All I wanted was for him to kiss me again. But when his eyes dropped from my face, I realized he thought I was offended.

His grip loosened on my wrist. I took advantage and twisted my hand so I could pull him to me again. I moaned when our lips touched. And when he pulled free of my grasp to cradle my jaw again in both hands. And when I slid my fingers up into his hair at the back of his neck. He moaned in response.

For the longest time, we just kissed. At first, it was awkward, as if we'd never done it before with anyone else. Maybe we were just too tense, and we eventually relaxed. All I know was that one minute we were struggling to get the right angle, and then our mouths were moving against each other like we'd been doing it together all of our lives.

When his tongue flicked at my closed lips, I opened my mouth to him. One of his hands slid up behind my neck, his fingers tangling in my auburn layers as he held my head still. His tongue swept into my mouth and teased mine.

Our moans mingled, and I tightened my hold on his neck while he helped me slide down onto the couch. He lay on top of me, his arms framing my head, his fingers diving back into my locks, his tongue into my mouth. I brought a knee up to his hip, my barefoot rubbing against the back of his calf. His thigh pressed high in between mine, and I gasped, pressing back.

He pulled away first, panting. "Jaynie."

I stared up into his glossy eyes. I ran a hand along his cheek, my fingers tracing his lips. "Alex."

He sucked my index finger into his mouth and groaned, his eyes drifting close. He took my hand in his, guiding my finger in and out of the moist heat, his tongue rasping against my sensitive fingertip.

My heart raced now, and breathing was difficult. I was concentrating so hard on what he was doing to my finger—what I was imagining him doing to other parts of my body—that I didn't realize his other hand was caressing my breast through my suit jacket. I moved my hand down to unbutton the jacket, but he knocked it away...and then his hand fumbled between us.

I whimpered as his hand squeezed my breast through my thin top and bra. Even through the material, the brush of his thumb against my nipple lit sparks deep within my body. I arched up to him, begging for more.

He broke our second kiss ever—and the longest thus far—to attack my neck with his lips and tongue. Shivers ran down my back, and I felt my skin prickle with goosebumps. I grabbed onto his arms, holding him to me, my hips bucking as I dry humped his thigh.

I whispered his name over and over again, and I half wondered if he was going to make me orgasm with my clothes on.

Suddenly, he was still. I was panting and couldn't see clearly. I blinked several times, and then I was staring into his darkened eyes. "Alex? What is it?"

"Oh, Jaynie." He kept whispering it, again and again, his fingers brushing at the hair around my temple. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead, his breath warm against my skin.

"You're scaring me." I relaxed beneath him, but I gasped as he shifted on top of me. His erection pressed hard against my dress slacks. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Please."

He said nothing. He just kept running his fingers along my face, as if he were trying to remember every detail. As if...

"No, Alex. Please don't." I gulped and forced my eyes open. Forced myself to look at those emerald orbs that were watching me so intently. So sadly. My grip tightened on his arms. "Don't end it like this. Not after—"

He kissed me softly. Then he pressed his erection against me again. His next words cut off my groan. "I have no intention of ending this, Jaynie. In fact, I intend to make love to you like you've never known. Like I've always wanted to."

My brain went fuzzy for a moment. I cried out when he bit my lower lip. Whimpered when he sucked it into his mouth.

"I just..." He dipped his tongue into my mouth and moaned. "I just don't want to do it on my living room couch."

I gasped when he stood and pulled me up by my arms. I tripped over my shoes on the floor and then stumbled after him down the hall.

His room was dark and cool, the curtains drawn against the afternoon heat. He left the door open and led me directly to the bed. With one hand, he clasped me behind the head and pulled my mouth to his. I heard and felt him pulling back the covers on the bed with his other hand as he kissed me, my thoughts turning to mush like my legs.

The back of my knees hit the bed, and I sat down when he finally released me. It took a moment, but my eyes grew accustomed to the lack of light, and I could see his profile standing above me. I felt his eyes watching me as he loosened and removed his tie. Unbuttoned his shirt. Unbuckled and released his belt. Lowered his zipper and then his pants.

I held my breath as each part was bared, leaning back on my hands for support. Even in the dull light, I could see the outline of his abs. The V between his hips as it disappeared beneath the waistband of his boxers. The muscles in his strong arms and legs. He was no longer the boy I'd imagined in my dreams.

"Your turn, Jaynie." He laughed softly.

I couldn't move. For a moment, I though he wanted me to strip for him as he'd done for me. But then he leaned toward me and pulled my jacket open, sliding it down my arms until it pooled behind me on the bed at my wrists. He reached around to my back, removing the jacket completely. It joined his clothes on the floor. I was going to tell him to hang it up so it didn't get wrinkled when he spoke again.

"Raise your arms."

I blinked but obeyed. The sleeveless camisole I'd chosen to wear today for it's cooler material sent shivers across my skin when he pulled it up and over my head. I was suddenly shy, fearful for him to remove my bra, but he pressed against my shoulders and I lay back on the bed.

My heart beat wildly in my head as I felt his hands move to my waist, unbuckling my belt, lowering my zipper. And then he was sliding my pants down my legs. When I was just in my bra and panties, he turned me sideways and climbed into the bed beside me.

I'd spent many nights lying awake, imagining this same situation. But I'd never thought it would come true. And now that it had, I was more nervous than I had been my first job interview. I'd puked twice at home before that incident. I'd always seen myself as a poised individual, and I hoped I would be that way in bed as well. Apparently, I was a good liar.

"If you don't want this, please, tell me now. But I pray you won't stop me."

Alex's hot breath brushed my ear and brought me back to the present. To his body covering mine. To his hand cupping my breast through my bra. To his mouth trailing kisses along my jaw line. To his erection that throbbed against my panty-clad groin.

Somehow, from somewhere, a shot of courage raced through my veins, and I found my wits. I grabbed onto his hips, shifted my legs so I could gain some footing on the mattress, and then pressed up hard against him. Our eyes met, and by the sliver of light peeking through where the curtains joined above our heads, I could see his eyes blaze.

"I want this more than you can know." My voice sounded husky, braver than I felt.

I ran my fingers slowly up his sides, feeling him shudder on top of me, and then grabbed the backs of his arms, pressing my breasts against his chest. I sucked in my breath when he pressed his erection back against me. His mouth smashed down on mine again.

For the longest time, we repeated the encounter on the couch, moaning through one continual kiss. His hand slid down my side, caressing my hip, my waist, and then moved back up to cup my breast again. I pressed into his hand, tugging on his lower lip with my teeth. Whimpering my desires.

He pulled away from me and looked down, rolling off me to lay at my side.

I wanted to complain. I missed the feeling of his body on mine. But if this continued as we both planned, we wouldn't be apart much longer.

"I want to take your bra off." He spoke the words but didn't move to try to remove the article of clothing. Instead, he traced his finger along the edge of the satin cup encasing my left breast. My breath hitched, and he let out a soft growl when the swell of my breast rose. His finger dipped below the edge of my bra, and I whimpered again.

His hand slid down and cupped my breast once more, squeezing gently. The next thing I knew, he had lowered his mouth and sucked my nipple into his mouth, right through the material.

"Alex!" I gasped, writhing beneath him. My hands found his head, my fingers weaving through his hair just as I felt him pull the material away and his tongue rasp against my skin. I cried out as fire shot down between my legs.

He moaned, and my breast suddenly felt wet as he kissed and licked all over it like a starving child. He sucked my nipple back into his mouth, gently nibbling it with his teeth.

I found my voice again, suddenly urgent to end thirty years of torture. "Please, Alex. We can play later. I need you. Now!"

He chuckled. It was a deep rumbling sound that echoed against my chest. He released my nipple with a final lick and then slid his hands behind my back to release my bra. "Oh, trust me, we will definitely play later, my dear."

My hand slid down his back and under the waistband of his boxers. I couldn't resist squeezing his ass, my body shuddering. Cool air brushed against my freed breasts, my nipples hardening painfully. I groaned and shifted so he could lay between my legs.

"I would like to see you with the lights on, but right now, I don't want to waste the time." His lips brushed my cheek, and then he rose up on his knees. His fingers slid under the waistband of my panties and slowly pulled them down.

I arched up to him, sucking my lower lip in between my teeth, wondering if he could see the desire in my eyes.

He glanced up at me. Then he leaned down to the apex of my thighs and inhaled deeply. He let out a groan, and then removed my panties completely, tossing them to the floor. When he went to remove his boxers, my eyes stayed on his face. I didn't want to lose my nerve.

"You tell me if I hurt you. At all."

Those were the only words he said, and then he was lying down over me again, our mouths melded together. It seemed as if we'd backtracked, though, our kisses hesitant again. But it was more of a need to remember the moment, not to rush it, than a sense of being unsure, as it had been not too long ago.

My hands roamed down to his hips, up his sides and over his back, coming to rest on his shoulder blades. Our tongues outlined each other's mouths, licked at each other's tongues. I tilted my head back and to the side when his mouth trailed down my chin and over to my neck, nuzzling just below my ear. My breasts felt heavy, my nipples stiff and aching as they rubbed against his chest.

His hands slid under my arms, holding my shoulders from behind. My legs spread, my knees rising to frame his hips. My hips arched up, and then I felt his erection press up against me. It was as if our bodies knew exactly what to do.

I focused on his mouth on my neck. His little nips and licks. His deep breathing. But it was impossible to ignore reality when he finally pushed into me. I gasped and moaned and tightened my grip on him. When he paused, I clenched my eyes closed.

He pulled out and slid in again in a slow rocking motion. After doing this several more times, he pushed in hard all at once until our hips touched.

I bit my lip and felt tears in my eyes, but I didn't say a word. Neither did he. He just kept kissing my neck. His hold on me tightened a bit, and he began the rocking motion again.

I relaxed beneath him, hugging his hips with my knees, and let him be in control. Fire and passion swirled through me, and my hips took on a life of their own, arching up to his gentle thrusts.

He propped himself up with his elbows on either side of my head, his fingers buried within my hair, cradling my head. I finally opened my eyes and stared up into his dark eyes, my own hands rising to lace through his hair. He lowered his lips to mine, kissing me softly, nipping at my lower lip.

It was several minutes before I felt the dull ache building deep inside. It started faint and then grew the more he stroked within me. My breasts ached to be touched, as they no longer rubbed against his chest. I whimpered. He gave me a soft kiss and then lowered his head so he could suck on my nipples.

I had never felt so happy as I did at that moment, finally making love to Alex. When he caressed my side, my hip, his fingers lightly pressing into my back, I moaned from the sheer joy of him touching me. Everywhere. He filled me so completely I felt like I wanted to bust.

And then the pressure grew more, and a tingling feeling at the base of my spine insisted that I need to reach something. I groaned and grabbed Alex's shoulders again.

He unlatched from my breast and kissed my mouth. Then he thrust faster, a little harder, and whispered in my ear, "Come on, sweetie. You're almost there."

I was gasping and crying and wondering how much more I could take when I felt something break inside me and I yelled his name. Though my brain was fuzzy and my body shook, I knew he hadn't stopped. He didn't even slow down.

Suddenly he paused, his hips pressed against mine. If possible, he got harder inside me. He growled, calling out my name, and a warmth filled me.

Then he was stroking slowly again. More shudders rippled through me, and I tried to hold onto him. After another minute, he stopped and collapsed on top of me.

I felt hot and sweaty and a sweet smell filled my nostrils. His lips brushed against mine, and then he buried his face against my neck.

We held each other loosely, trying to catch our breath. He shifted, slid out of me, and then pulled me tight against him, kissing my forehead.

"Oh, Jaynie, why didn't you tell me?"

I sighed and smiled, tilting my head back so I could look up at him. "What? Admit that I was still a virgin because the only man I ever wanted never wanted me?"

"I've always wanted you, Jaynie. I always will." To prove it, I felt him twitch against my thigh. "I was just too blind to see what was right in front of me."

I couldn't help laughing. "I think Nana saw it."

He kissed my nose. "Yes, she did. And I think that's why she left me her house. She knew we'd eventually come to our senses."

"Took us long enough." I nuzzled my head into the crook of his arm and sighed when he tightened his hold on me.

"We'll find some way to make it work. I promise. I'm not letting go of you this time."

"You'd better not, or I'm pushing you into the pond this time!"

We both laughed so hard that my breasts rubbed against his chest, and I felt the heat and desire puddle between my legs again. When his hand brushed my hip, I groaned and rolled onto my back. I was just thinking that I should cancel my hotel reservation when his fingers slipped between my legs, and I lost all thought of anything besides the here and now.

And soon, I lost all thought completely as Alex Newberry brought me to the edge.

Over and over again.

~ H