Love in Chains

Nye, on the other hand was wild. His platinum blonde hair reached almost to his waist and, although it was usually sleek and smooth, it was fine and almost seemed to float out from his head so that it gave the impression he was walking in a breeze. He was usually dressed in black leather and white linen and he wore make up. He was not groomed, he was not slick... he was elemental, truly and astonishingly beautiful.

It seemed to me that Adam was taking perverse pleasure in taking as long as possible to get to me but I don't know if that was really the case.

Finally they were there. Adam released Nye and he slid into the booth, across the table from me and sat, head down, silent. I wondered if he was embarrassed. He'd taken a shower and I was glad for that. His hair was still damp, standing out around his head like the mane of a snow lion. He rested his hands and forearms on the table in front of him and I could see they were still shaking. Adam artfully threw himself into the chair, his long legs stretched out, reaching for the glass.

"Are you alright?"

Nye looked up. He'd re applied his make up and it made him look better, hiding the shadows, but I could still see them, they were there in his eyes.

"Yes."

"See, I told you." Adam's voice was like rich chocolate but it was chocolate laced with poison and I wanted to grab him by the throat and choke him until the voice and its owner died. I ignored him.

"What were you thinking? How could you come here? Did he make you? Did he force you to go to that awful place?"

"No." The reaction was instant and scornful. Nye's lip curled and for a moment there was a light in his eyes. "I wanted to come. I wanted to see for myself."

"And now you've seen? Will you come again?"

His eyes flicked to Adam who simply watched him, impassive. He bowed his head. "Maybe."

"Oh Gods Nye, you're a fool."

"Whatever." He sounded exhausted and I wanted to reach out to him but, with Adam there that was impossible.

"Drink your brandy." I sounded tetchy, defeated, and I was. They both knew I'd never raise the subject again, not with them, not with anyone. I wanted to shout at him, to tell him how appalled I was, how angry, how frightened; to tell him how ridiculous it had been, how dangerous. I wanted to, but I didn't, I wouldn't, because I knew that if I did it would drive Nye away even faster than he was already being stolen from me.

Nye looked up and smiled. It was a pale smile but a smile and therefore precious.

"Thanks Mir."

I smiled back, pouring everything I felt for him, everything we'd ever been through together, everything we meant to each other, into the one look, and covered his hand with mine. He didn't pull away. He was very cold.

"You were very brave." Adam's rich voice cut into our moment and ended it instantly. He too reached out to Nye and touched, with one finger, the angry band around his wrist, visible between the cuff of his leather jacket and the fingerless glove he wore on that hand. It was still slightly oozing blood.

Nye's smile for him was not pale, it was blinding, and envy stabbed me like a knife. I pushed it angrily aside. There was no room for that; it would only make things worse.

"Some of it was good."

"I'm sorry Nye. I really am sorry. I... got carried away. I should never have left you there for so long."

"You should never have left him there at all."

Nye flashed me a 'look' and opened his mouth to speak but, surprisingly Adam cut in.

"No, she's right Nye. She's absolutely right. I promised you that I'd take care of you, that I would be with you every step and I wasn't. She's right to be angry. I failed you and I'm sorry about that. You'll never know how sorry I am. I should never have let you talk me into bringing you. I thought you were ready but you weren't, you're nowhere near it."

"But I am. I am ready. Please Adam, please give me another chance." He was more animated than I'd seen him for a long time, his eyes fever bright, pleading with his lover.

"We'll see. In time."

"Adam please... it was my fault, all my fault. I should have told you, I should have called out. You told me to, but I was stubborn. I was just too stubborn. I won't do that again, I promise. Give me another chance. Please."

"We'll see. Rest for a few days, get your strength back and we'll see."

"I won't let you down again, Adam, I promise."

I could see what Adam was doing. I could see it as plain as I could see the glass of brandy that he knocked back in one swallow, flashing me a look of triumph as he slammed it back down on the table. I could see it but I was helpless to stop it. There's nothing I could have said that would have made Nye see it and, in fact, anything I said would only have made it worse.

"Drink your drink, it's time to go. There's no point trying to have any fun tonight, you'd only flake out half way through it."

Nye flinched as though he'd hit him, although the tone of his voice was superficially playful. I wondered, not for the first time, whether he'd actually hit him. I wouldn't have been surprised, not at all.

Swallowing his brandy Nye, gave me an apologetic look and smoothed his hands on his trousers, tugging the cuffs of his jacket down to hide the livid red marks on his wrists. Just as they were about to leave, someone appeared at Adam's shoulder and bent to murmur something in his ear. His face went dark and he glanced over at Nye, then he nodded once and waved a hand, dismissing the man.

"There's something I have to take care of. I won't be long. Try not to pass out before I get back." Again the tone was light, but there was a dark undercurrent that made Nye flinch. He bowed his head, nodding.

At last we were alone, but do you think I could think of one single thing to say to him?

"You haven't been around in a while."

"I've been busy."

"With what? Lee says you haven't been to classes for weeks; that you've barely been home."

"Since when has Lee been my nursemaid?" He sounded annoyed, even angry but he didn't have the energy to sustain it.

"Lee's just worried about you, that's all. He knows how hard you worked and he's concerned that you're going to throw it all away and end up failing."

"I won't fail. I've already turned in my final examination projects."

"You have?"

"Yes."

"Then there's no reason for you not to come visit. We miss you. Mam doesn't say much, you know she never would, but she misses you, we all do. The boys are on about you all the time."

He remained silent, twirling the empty glass between long slender fingers. I was struggling. I had to find a way to reach him... something... and I didn't have much time.

"I was talking to Kane the other day. He was asking about you."

That got his attention, but all he said was, "Oh?"

"What happened to you two? You used to be so close. Sometimes, it seemed that he was at our house more than he was at his own."

Nye smiled but it died swiftly. "He doesn't like Adam."

I bit back a retort. I wasn't surprised. Kane was Nye's best friend, for a long time we were all convinced it was more than that but, if it had been they'd never showed it. Kane was cut from the same cloth as Nye; tall, willowy, fair... although in the tanned, gold blonde, blue eyed way... not pale and fey like Nye. He was a lot more outgoing too, American by birth and with a cocky attitude and cute accent, he'd always been popular with girls and boys alike.

They complimented each other perfectly. Nye kept Kane level, curbing some of his wildness, calming his fiery temper and somewhat extreme views on life and everything. In turn Kane brought Nye out of himself, ignoring his shy nature and dragging him along on adventures, giving him experiences he never otherwise would have had.

For the best part of fifteen years they'd been inseparable, even after they went to different universities... until Adam. No wonder Kane hated Adam... he was an excellent judge of character.

"Is he... okay?"

"He's fine. He's just come back from visiting relatives in California and he's tanned and glowing."

"Is he... is he...?"

"Is he what?"

Nye shook his head. "Never mind."

"He's not with anyone. In fact he made a point of mentioning it. He seemed rather sad actually." Nye looked up at me sharply and something flared behind his eyes. For a moment I held my breath, my heart pounding with hope.

"Tell him... tell him..." He shook his head. "Never mind."

"Nye, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

He frowned. "I don't know what you mean."

I didn't say anything but reached out my hand and touched his wrist. He shivered and tugged his hand away, pulling down the sleeve to cover it. He sat back in the seat wrapping his arms around himself. He looked like a lost boy... he was.

As an awkward silence fell I cast around for something to say to break it.

"You've lost weight."

"Have I?"

"You know you have. Aren't you eating?"

"Adam's a great cook." The arms tightened. He was on the defensive and my hope crumbled to dust.

"I'm sure he is. That's not what I asked."

"I'm eating alright."

"Are you ill then? Is there something we should know?"

He looked up, annoyed again. "I'm a big boy now Mir, not a child. I'm twenty one and I can look after myself. I'm not ill and I'm not failing my course and I'm not doing anything wrong. Why are you always so critical of me these days? And you wonder why I don't come to visit."

"I'm not critical, Nye. I just love you. You used to tell me everything. You used to..."

"I used to be a child. Now I'm a man, a man with a life of his own and the right to live it as I please."

I was taken aback. That didn't sound like Nye, it didn't sound like him at all.

"Of course you are. Of course you do. But that doesn't mean you have to shut us out of your life."

"I know. I'm not." He was back to his confused, lost, self and I was left with a terrible certainty that his isolation was deliberate, as was the change in him. Adam was doing more than influencing him; he was manipulating and controlling him. But what could I do about it? The more I tried to get him away from Adam, the more Adam would dig his claws in and the more chance there was that Nye would get hurt. And there was no way, no way at all that Nye would listen to me if I tried to tell him.

"Come and visit us, Nye, please. Just now and again. And contact Kane. He misses you more than we do."

"I will. I promise."

"Soon?"

"Maybe."

"Promise me, Nye... please. Promise me you'll come soon."

He gave me a long cool stare, but I could see there was a lot going on behind and beneath. He was fighting with himself and it scared me. Why would he have to struggle with the idea of visiting his family now and again or catching up with old friends? I knew why.

Finally he nodded and smiled, the first genuine, warm smile he'd given me. "Alright. I promise. Soon."

"Promise what?" Nye jumped as Adam flopped down into the chair, he looked guilty.

"I... I... Just to keep in touch with my family, that's all."

"Really? Well, I've never stopped you. Haven't I always told you that I'd take you whenever you like?"

Now wasn't that a telling statement?

"Of course you haven't... stopped me I mean. It's just... I've been so busy."

"And you're going to be busier. We've had a problem with one of our employees and we're going to have to let him go. Until we can find someone to replace him, it would be very helpful to me if you would take some shifts behind the bar."

Nye looked uncertain and plucked at a loose thread on his jacket. "I... I don't know. You know I don't like working behind the bar...not here. It scares me."

Adam leaned across the table and stroked Nye's cheek. The action and Nye's reaction made me squirm.

"Baby... what have I told you about facing up to your fears? You're such a little mouse, so fearful of everything. You have to be strong, to be brave... remember what we've been talking about? You're too soft, too fearful, too gentle and shy. It isn't that I don't love that in you, but you're just not safe being that way. You need to toughen up a bit, especially if you ever want to be fit for the dungeon. You said you wanted another chance, well this is it. Do a good job upstairs and I'll let you come play downstairs."

Nye lit up like a candle and grinned at him, his eyes glowing. "I won't let you down."

Adam leaned closer and kissed him. Nye melted. "I know you won't."

I hated him then. I hated him with every fibre of my being and I was afraid. I was going to lose Nye. I was going to lose my brother, one way or another and there wasn't a single thing I could do to stop it. I felt sick.

Lifting his head and stroking his cheek on Nye's hair to make sure his face was turned away from me Adam smiled. It was the smile of a big cat who was about to feed on its prey. I snarled at him but it only made the smile widen. He knew I was helpless. He knew Nye was his. He knew he'd won. I hated him.