Love Never Dies Pt. 08

Truthfully, I became quite a hardened bitch in the years after you left me. You don't know that side of me (you wouldn't want to, eh?). Fact is, you may probably not know the real me anyway. Or perhaps this is the real me. Who bloody knows?

Anyway, I know I put a brave face on and saw you off with a kiss and smile, sending you back to Veronica. But, and I've decided it's no good lying or pretending otherwise, you've got to know the truth. I was breaking up inside. I honestly don't know if all this is good for me. Don't get me wrong, I've absolutely loved seeing you and, even in this brief time and under strange circumstances, it's been great having you back in my life. But where's it leading to, Richard? More heartbreak for me?

What happened between us today was simply wonderful. Perhaps that's the trouble. I'm just not used to feeling loved and wanted. I've been closed off to deep affection for such a long, long time. I honestly didn't expect to feel like it ever again. But now. Oh, I don't know.

I think it's best if I stop now. I think you'll understand what I'm saying. Hope so anyway (then you can explain it to me, he he!).

I look forward to getting your message. I won't be going to sleep anytime soon but I will get into bed with my laptop and smell you on the sheets and pillows. Grrr!

Love

Gaynor x x x

I looked at the message filling the screen, glanced at my new special keyring, and then at my keyboard. I knew I had to respond but I was in a whirl with conflicting emotions battling for my attention. Much like Gaynor must feel. I read her words again and her torment struck me like a hammer blow, or a knife to the heart.

I leaned back in my swivel chair and gripped the arms so tight that my knuckles stretched the skin, the white patches prominent against my golfer's suntanned hands. This wouldn't be an easy message to write.