Love Vanished

All mistakes and errors are mine and mine alone, sorry you will have to deal with that. It is what it is amateur writing for my enjoyment and maybe yours. Hope you enjoy.

*****

I have been crying and devastated for days now. I need to pull myself together, the children sense some thing is wrong. I have tried to hide it from them, only showing my emotions in the bedroom when I am alone.

The tension between their father and I had been palpable to say the least. The children felt it and they asked questions. I told them a very good friend of mommy's moved away and I miss my friend dearly. I had to lie to my children.

Really, talking about and caring for the children was and is, for me, my joy. I would even take little videos to show Teddy when he came home or send to him at work. I sometimes would get the munchkins to sing songs with me to take videos.

Reflecting back on my miserable situation I see where it started, four months or more back. Around that time is when I started looking to get back in the work force. The children were in school and I needed a new direction of activity for myself.

Maybe if I had seen what was happening I could have could have changed the outcome. If I had just paid more attention to Teddy. If I had not just assumed things would be fine, and taking things for granted.

We would try to hold conversations about his work day and my day with the children. I would even ask about his after work things, his golfing buddies and sports interests. I was trying to show interest in my husband, interruptions always occurred with the children.

The conversations would soon die and TV would take it's place. Truthfully, we became boring, in intimacy and conversation. I even joined a book club and began reading hoping to spark conversations. I even read the magazines and tried some of their ideas on relationships.

We weren't really doing things together any more either and Ted seemed moody at times. I felt I was trying, but Ted seemed indifferent. Even when we went out to movies we were unusually quiet.

I found a book he was reading, the book surprised me, Fifty Shades of Grey. We had watched the movie together, mainly because of all the hype. I liked the movie mainly for the romance, although the BDSM part was..interesting, maybe. I never gave that part anymore thought.

I was a little confused because we didn't even have sex the night after that movie. The movie had been my pick and I felt Teddy had just humored me that night we went to see it anyway. We didn't even have that much of conversation about it. I was thinking it might lead to some sex after viewing the movie.

I didn't think Teddy even enjoyed the movie that much and I asked him about the book. He told me books were always more detailed and he was curious about the main characters relationship to each other. I asked if that was the only reason or if he had some kind of kinky fantasy about it. I chuckled when I said it as I stroked his arm, he just looked at me.

I began reading up on BDSM, I couldn't get into the idea of such a thing. Maybe Ted did have a fantasy about, I would try it for my love. What I was thinking was maybe some soft stuff or light bondage. Maybe that would help us reconnect, spark our sex life.

Then one night after the children were down and asleep, we went to bed. I began fooling around with Teddy grab assing and things, while he was getting ready for bed. I was horny, we hadn't had sex for awhile, I figured some it was from his work stress. I was trying to turn the fires back up.

I had began like a strip tease for him, I had showered earlier and had only a robe, and night shorts and top on. I opened my robe and seductively danced to him as he removed his pull over shirt.

Then I wrapped my arms around him and wiggled my breasts against his chest. I backed away dropping my robe to the floor. I turned then stepped backwards until my ass was pressing against him. I spread my legs and wiggled my not so toned ass on him. Then did a couple short knee bends up and down while being bent over slightly.

I was looking back over my shoulder at him smiling. I could feel his cock starting to get stiff. I could feel myself getting moist. But, The look on his face was rather bland, unemotional.

When I straightened up Teddy quickly removed my top and grabbed my breasts roughly. Then with out warning he pinched and twisted my nipples rather hard and I squealed. I jerked away and spun around covering my nipples. Then with a smirk on his face and a look in his eyes he moved over to me.

"Damn it! Teddy that hurt." I told him.

I thought he was going to kiss me but instead his hands reached my shorts. He roughly jerked them down and ran his finger through my pussy. That started a fire burning.

He slid is finger through my cleft and across my clitoris just a few times and quit. Then he stood up and walked away to the chair to remove his pants and boxers.

I just stood there, shocked, for one, he hadn't even kissed me. Then just a few quick finger strokes? He had never just started then stop, it had always been tender and caring. It was like he was indifferent to me.

He sat on the bed and patted the place next to him. I walked over smiling to him thinking he was just playing around. There was this devilish smile on his face.

I crawled up in the bed seductively, planing to crawl behind him. I was going to wrap him in my arms and nibble his neck. I knew he liked that.

Both knees made it to the bed when he smacked my ass hard sending me forward on the bed. I yelped from the pain and surprise. I began to cry from it and what he said.

"Well that chubby ass has got a jiggle to it now." He said flatly. Then laughed lightly.

He stood up and grabbed my hips, pulling me up to my knees. My legs had parted for balance and I was about to turn over. I felt Ted rubbed his stiff cock through my labia and find its mark. He drove into me all at once, roughly, smashing his pelvis against my hurting ass.

"Teddy! Stop! What is wrong with you, what are you doing?" I cried out. "Not so rough sweetie."

He growled and with drew is cock, then suddenly slammed back in my pussy. I pleaded with him not to be so rough.

Then he began a slow rough hard rhythm. Then he was soon rhythmically pounding in to me hard. He kept this going for minutes, then increased the speed of his pounding. It was not a tender love making, it was just fucking.

I could sense he was nearing his orgasm. I was getting close myself, I reached back to rub myself to orgasm too. He grabbed my wrist with one hand and hair with the other hand. He pulled my head back causing me to rise up and arc my back. I grunted and gasped while he pounded away.

Then one last very rough growling thrust from him and I felt him spurt into me. He held me there like that until he finished, saying to me 'Take it bitch'. Then he pushed me forcefully forward into the bed.

I laid there stunned and unfinished. I heard him go into the bathroom. I laid there and wept, not understanding any of what just happened. There was no intimacy, no love, just fucking. It was like.. like I was punished for something.

I heard the bathroom door open and I jumped up and rushed past tears streaming my face. When I reached the door I turned to look at my fucking asshole husband. I watched him get in bed and turn off the lamp with his back turned to me. Not one fucking word spoken, I was crushed.

I sat in that bathroom and cried, thirty minutes later I took another shower for the night. I checked my butt in the mirror and could see the bruise that had formed.

I left the bathroom, I could hear him snore softly. I thought in disgust, 'Well that is typical, get a piece of ass then fall asleep'.

I grabbed my pillow and some clothing. I left the bedroom and headed for the other bedroom, I wasn't sleeping with that bastard tonight. Maybe even never again, I was hurt, I was angry, I was confused.

I didn't hardly sleep that night, I even tried masturbating and that didn't work. One last look at the clock then I fell asleep. Three hours later Ted woke me up to say the children would be up soon. Then he walked out the door.

I managed to drag myself up and get the children ready for school and get them there. Then I returned home, set an alarm and laid down on the sofa.

I barely heard the doorbell and knocking. I went and answered it, it was a flower delivery. I took the flowers and set them in the kitchen then read the card. 'Sorry' was all that was written. I would deal with that later and returned to the sofa.

I picked up my son and daughter from school. They chattered about their day as I put on a brave mommy face.

We arrived home and the children began their normal after school things. I was fixing them a snack when my older daughter came in the kitchen. I was still upset and had teared up some and of course she asked what was wrong. I just told her I thought I was getting a cold or my allergies acting up. I think she believed me, thank goodness.

Theodore came home from work acting slightly cheerful. He even tried to give me a hug, which I shrugged away. He went and played with the children while I finished making dinner.

The diner conversation was held by the children that night. When Theodore tried to speak to me, I would ignore him or give him a short curt answer. The children just looked at us quizzically.

Bath and bedtime came for children, to which, I didn't get any assistance. After getting them down for the night I returned to the kitchen to do some light cleaning.

Theodore came into the kitchen to get a drink. I had placed those flowers out of the way earlier for dinner and I placed them back on the island counter. He smirked at me, then I took them to the sink next to him and drained the water from them.

I looked up at him with caring eyes and then sneered at him in disgust, as I fed those flowers into the disposal. I never took my eyes off of his as I pushed them in the grinder. My coup de grace was taking the card I had burned early in a bowl and I dumped in the waste bin.

Theodore reddened in the face, shrugged slightly, then went back to his TV viewing. Nothing was said between us. I had been hoping to start a verbal argument to find out what the hell was going on in his head. I didn't believe it was that damn book anymore. I sensed something else now.

I don't know what I was feeling just then. I had satisfied my anger and hurt some what, but I was still feeling crushed about last night. There was not any sign of love or even caring from him, not even anger.

I had one more move in this game, if you will, as I went to the garage door and opened it.

"Theodore!" I called out.

I never call him Theodore. He turned to look at me over his shoulder.

"I need some assistance, if you don't mind." I said that in a rather caustic tone.

He rose from the recliner pausing the program, grumbling. I stepped out in to the garage where I had already placed a step ladder.

"What do you want?" He asked sourly.

"I need those three large travel cases and one small case down from there." I said.

He looked sternly at me, I thought he was going to refuse. Theodore climbed the ladder and retrieved the cases handing them down to me. I placed them in front of my SUV.

"Going some where?" He asked, smirking.

He knew I wouldn't, I couldn't at that time and I didn't plan on going anywhere.

"Possibly, or, you are." I said flatly, then I raised my voice.

"Unless you talk to me and tell what the fuck last night was about! What the hell is going on!"

I was beginning to burn in anger now. He just stood there looking at me with unemotional eyes. I stepped over to the work bench where I had placed the book and grabbed it up. I slammed it into his chest, he stepped back off balance for a second. He looked at the Fifty Shades book.

"Does this fucking book have anything to do with it!" I almost screamed.

"Not really." He answered nonchalantly. "We done here?"

I was in shock I just stared at him. He grunted and walked past me. I broke into tears.

"Do you even love me , even care!" I screamed out.

I stood there as he entered the house closing the door not saying anything. Then I sat there on a stool sobbing and thinking, it is over. Just like that all my dreams, our dreams, gone. I didn't even get any explanation of what was going on.

When I finally went inside he had already went to bed. I went to the bathroom and began getting myself ready for bed too. I remembered that remark he made last night.

I stripped myself nude and took an appraisal. Yes, I was a tad bit heavier, ten to fifteen pounds, but I was almost thirty. I was a mother and housewife. I tried to slim down, but it didn't always work out. My triceps area wasn't flabby, untoned maybe.

It was in all the wrong places for women. My tits sagged slightly but after two children they had gotten fuller, but still firm feeling. My nipples were a little darker and also tender from last night too.

I turned and looked at my backside. There was that bruise as I cupped my as cheeks, OK, it did jiggle a little, well maybe more than a little. I turned and leaned into the mirror.

My face didn't have any lines or marks. My hazel eyes were clear and I have a tight chin and neck. My oval face and delicate ears looked just fine. With my below shoulder auburn hair pulled back in a pony tail I could pass for twenty five or maybe younger.

I took stock of the last of my, 'equipment', getting a hand mirror. Yep, I need a good trim and shave and my labia had changed since having the children.

I looked a little further back, my asshole was just fine, kind of a cute rosebud. No bumps, no hemorrhoids. My skin tone was nice. I chuckled to myself thinking, 'Yes I might finger or even lick that thing, if I was into that'.

Then I checked out my pussy, yes it was different now. I slid finger inside, then two with some resistance, then three. That had a comfortable feeling to it, but I had to be real with myself about that too. Okay, things felt looser in there, but Teddy's cock always felt good.

I needed to quit obsessing now. I was fine, I was attractive, just not twenty any more. I had been flirted with at what few parties we had been to, even complimented. I wasn't a magazine model type beauty, but I wasn't unattractive either. Hell, I even got cat calls and whistles at times at the stores. What is that term men use, ya that is it, MILF. I heard a man say that to his friend as I passed.

I looked that term up on my phone when I got in the store that day. I turned crimson in the face, 'Mothers I'd LIke To Fuck'. I made a mistake of looking back at them after I learned that term. They started towards me and I quickly moved away. Problem was after putting some distance from them, I found myself a bit aroused, okay, my nipples stiffened and my panties got damp.

The one thing I probably need, was trips to the beauty salons and, yes, the gym.

I finished and went to bed.

After that traumatic scene and a few days moping around I received a call for an interview for a job. It was an entry level receptionist job for a good company. It paid decent and it was a good start since I had been out of the work force for so long. I got and took the job.

I need to relearn some office skills and new systems being used now. I had complete confidence that in a year or less I would be back up to speed on every thing. I had to manage to squeeze in some more business management classes also.

After a month or so working an older man began flirting. Then the meetings in the break area and casual talk. It was in my mind all harmless, just work associates conversing.

Then the casual quick little touches on the hand and arm began, progressing to the shoulder. Truthfully, I was enjoying the attention and adult conversations. The talks began to move to more personal things and lives. He was in his mid thirties.

Then that fateful day arrived, I hadn't taken anything for lunch break. I could call over to a small restaurant across the street and they would deliver, which I was about to do. Henry, the older gentleman, came by and asked if I would like to join him for lunch at the restaurant and I agreed to it. I didn't see any harm in doing that.

He was a divorced man of about a year. We sat there chatting in a booth. Henry was reading something in a magazine article about married relationships to me joking about it. I told him he was making that up and didn't believe him. I had also learned he had been hurt badly with his divorce.

Then he slid next to me with the magazine to point out the article. I began reading when he placed his hand on my leg. I blushed and I looked at him and then removed his hand, as I did this, he took hold of my hand.

Henry deftly placed my hand on his pants front. I gasped lightly and glanced nervously around as my face reddened in embarrassment. He laid his hand on top my mine. I felt my nipples stiffen and my body flush at what I felt.

His erection seemed large through the clothing, maybe larger than Theodore. I don't know why I did what I did. I squeezed my hand on it. Then my senses came back to me and I jerked my hand away and went to the lady's room. I thought of what just happened and what I did. I needed stop this quickly.

I came back to the booth to find our food waiting and Henry back to his original place. We hate quickly and awkwardly. Henry paid for my food and we left for the offices.

He apologized all the way back and even told me, I was so attractive he lost his mind for a minute. I didn't say a word but to scowl at him. He finally went to begging for forgiveness. We entered the building and he went his way I went mine.

The rest of that day I was busy and didn't have time to think about that lunch encounter, thank goodness. As we were leaving I spotted him coming down and isle. He saw me and stopped, then turned to the rest rooms close to him. I kept going leaving the building and going to my SUV.

When I got home with the children and dinner and some things done, I started to tell Ted tell about what happened. I told him an older man was becoming over flirtatious towards me, not telling him what transpired. I was going to ask for advice.

I told Ted he tried touching me a little. My husband stood there, looked me up and down. Then said, 'Surely that old boy isn't that desperate'. He it let it hang there before adding, 'To jeopardize his job'. I got the innuendo. Now I was more pissed at Ted than Henry.

The next day I found a letter on my desk. No name other than my mine, hand written. I opened it to read Henry's name on the inside flap. I closed it and put it in my purse.

Later that evening while I was taking a bath I read the letter.

***

Mrs. Smith,

I am very sorry for what I did. You are the first woman there that as even talked to me more than a couple of times. I am not what you would call stud type material. I have asked a few of the single woman out on dates, only to be turned down. I even over heard rather unappealing remarks made about me. You are kind, attractive, witty and intelligent. You paid me some female attention, for which I was craving, I am in your debt. I am asking for your forgiveness, I wish to be work friends only, if that is even possible any longer.

***

I sat there in the bath thinking of Henry's letter. No, Henry isn't the manly hunk type. He is very slim built and tall with rather narrow shoulders. Honestly, if I would have seen him in a bar, I would have passed him by also.

I found that after talking and conversing on things with him I, was, attracted to him. Henry is not an ugly man, rather handsome actually, just not the strong masculine looking type.

I finished my bath and destroyed the letter, I didn't need any more shit in my life right now.