Love Wasn't Enough For Her

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Slirpuff
Slirpuff
4,277 Followers

So, our life and marriage went on. It did get a little bit better but was a far cry from what it had been prior to the Panama City trip. We made love but most of the time we had sex. When I told her I missed the long teasing and romantic sessions we had in the past I was told to take what I could get because there was a little one in the house now.

When I set up a free weekend for us, Becky informed me that her study group was getting together on that Saturday night. When I told her to choose what she wanted to do, she talked me into going with her to their get together which ended up being a horrible mistake.

I think the oldest person of the group was twenty-two and an immature twenty-two at that. They were young, single, and had one thing on their mind—to party and have fun. I remembered my first two years of college and how much I'd drank but four years later I had priorities other than getting drunk and getting laid.

I tried to fit in but I wasn't into drinking games anymore, and even though there were a lot of smoking hot single women there, I was more than satisfied with what I had. There was a lot of kissing, flirting, and hand play with most of the stupid games. I guess if you drink enough your inhabitations go out the window along with a lot of common sense. Most of these people would never remember half of what they did that night and the rest of them, well, they'd be worshiping the porcelain god before the night was over.

About one in the morning I grabbed Becky when one of her buddies got way too friendly. I found him making lips with my wife and trying to cop a feel. I didn't kick the shit out of him because I don't think he could have even stood up. Becky? She was blasted also, but at least had enough common sense not to say a word. All in all, none of the members of her study group impressed me in the least.

Did we make love Saturday night? Not a chance in hell even if she hadn't puked on the way home. Sunday she was nursing a massive hangover and as for me, I was doing a slow burn.

"I know you're pissed but I don't want to hear about it right now. Chris was drunk and didn't know what he was doing and who he was doing it with."

"But you did, didn't you? What would you have done if you found me kissing some strange women with her tits in my fucking hands? Or maybe you just don't care any longer, is that it?" That put her back on her heels.

"Steve, what an awful thing to say. Do you think I set out to get felt up last night? It was a stupid mistake on both our parts, that's all. It's not something that either one of us would have done sober."

"And how much of this shit happened in Panama City where I wasn't there to stop it?"

"How many times do I have to tell you? Nothing happened up there. I didn't do a damn thing with anyone. Why won't you believe me?"

"Well, if this can happen with me in the same room, what happened with me six hours away?" Becky was getting angry again.

"If I hear your accusations one more time it'll be a cold day in hell before you get any nookie from me again."

"It's all ready been a cold day in hell," I quickly retorted back at her. "Becky, you just don't see what's happening to us, do you? You're a married woman and a mother acting like a single girl again. You're constantly picking your new young friends over your family, and I'm more than a little concerned."

"Well, if I hadn't gotten knocked up," she started to say when I stopped her dead in her tracks.

"For the millionth time, I'm fucking sorry but unless you can push Danny back into your womb, you're going to have to live with it. Danny's not going away but unless you get your head out of your ass, we're not going to make it." I'd thrown the gauntlet down.

I could see the steam come out of her ears. She turned around, marched back into our bedroom and slammed the door, locking it in the process. I loved her, but she was making it harder and harder every day. And like I said, she didn't see it.

When we were together for dinner things were frosty, at best. And now she was gone almost every night with her friends. When she came home drunk or high Friday night we had a big drag out fight. I finally gave her a choice, her friends or our marriage.

"You can't tell me what to do, I'm not some eight year old you can order about."

"Then stop acting like one."

"Steve, you've called all the shots since we've been married but not this time. They're my friends and I'll see them if and when I want."

"Then I guess I know where your priorities really lie." I left and didn't come back for two days which I guess was juvenile on my part, but I was afraid of what I would have said or done.

The following Thursday I was served at work. I tried to talk to her but she refused to talk to me in person or even on the phone. I was told to read the paperwork because it was all in there.

Irreconcilable Differences was how it was all spelled out in the papers. She was looking for child support for Danny, alimony for herself because she wasn't working, the house with me paying the mortgage, and full medical and dental. I don't know what she'd been smoking, but it must have been something pretty strong. In essence they were asking for more than I even made.

Doug, a friend of my dad's who was also an attorney, took pity on me and did all my divorce work pro-bono. He told me to ask for joint physical custody of Danny, this way there would be minimal child support and to fight any alimony. Becky was more than capable of working, and since it was my money paying for her education, I was told to stop it immediately.

"Steve, you don't want it to get ugly if for no other reason that you have a son and will have to have at least some contact with her."

"Doug, I don't even want the damn divorce. If I could just talk to her, I know I could convince her to drop it." But she never did talk to me until it was too late for the two of us.

As they say life went on. She and Danny moved in with her parents for the time being. She still wouldn't talk to me and it seemed that it was going to be a lost cause. Her parents were sorry, but were on her side, like mine were on mine. After telling my boss that I might be leaving due to an impending divorce, he told me that he'd gone through two and had a few tidbits of wisdom. That's when he told me about cutting off all my overtime and hitting me with a pay cut.

"We're not doing that badly, are we?"

"Look, Steve, I like you, and I understand what you're going through. You need to suck it up for the next six to eight months because they're going to base your child support and everything else on what you are presently making. You're going to be losing well over a third of what you're making, but it will be only temporary. If you need any extra money, I know a guy who owns a gym in Ashland who will pay you cash money to clean his place every night. Your wife is going to realize pretty quickly that it's not going to go exactly like everyone is telling her."

He was right on that one. I left my house and moved back in with my folks. I cancelled the phone, cable, electric, and stopped making the monthly mortgage payments. There was no way I was going to be able to afford what she was asking. My boss gave my attorney a letter stating that my overtime was ending effective immediately due to the downturn in the economy, the employees might, in addition, have to take a five percent pay cut.

"Steve, how come you're not paying the house payment and the other bills? We're going to lose the house," she yelled at me over the phone.

"So? And your point?"

"Where are Danny and I going to live?"

"I guess with your parents, sure as hell not mine."

"But I was told you'd have to pay the house payments until Danny turned eighteen so we could live there."

"I'd sooner lose the house and my job than to pay so you could live there scot-free. How stupid do you think I really am?"

"But they told me."

"I don't care who told you what, I'll give you child support for Danny, but that's all. Last time I looked I didn't have sucker tattooed on my forehead, at least not any more."

"Maybe we can talk about this, you know, work out some agreement. I'd hate like hell to lose the house after all the work we did on it."

"The house means shit to me. I did kind of hope that we could work through our problems, but I guess you have your own agenda going forward. Too bad, we use to have something special."

The lawyers went back and forth for almost two more months. Becky's lawyer wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was only his second case, but he was cheap, I guess you get what you pay for. With my salary cut by forty percent and with me asking for joint physical custody I'd thrown him more than one curve.

My attorney, Doug, said that I would pay the standard guideline twenty percent of my salary if Becky had full custody and only fifteen percent for joint custody. There would be no alimony, no house payments, and Becky was to assume fifty percent of all existing debt.

We had only one credit card with less than a thousand dollar balance but our medical bills were well over ten thousand dollars. I'd been paying a certain amount on it every month but since I'd been served I stopped paying anything. It was getting less rosy for her by the day.

When Becky's lawyer asked for a face-to-face meeting I refused their first request. The bank was talking foreclosure and with no one mowing the lawn for the last eight weeks the house wasn't looking too good. I was working my day job and then driving twenty miles to my other night job, which took about two hours every night. The one thing it did do was to keep me busy and grounded. I'd see Danny on the weekends at my mom's house and still managed to keep up with my schoolwork. Did I have time to think about Becky? Hell, yes, but when I did, I just got angry all over again, so I tried to block her out of my mind as much a possible.

Becky was the one that came up with a compromise that even shocked the shit out of me. She proposed that we both live in the house until we could either sell it or have one of us buy out the other. She and Danny would have the upstairs, I would have the basement bedroom and the main floor would be neutral ground. This way we wouldn't lose what equity we'd built up in the house. We would split the bills down the middle and we could also split custody without moving Danny around week to week. She asked that I pay the house payment and she would take care of the utilities. My share of the house would be pro-rated because I would be paying the lion's share of the expenses. We would split the food and all the other household expenses. I guess it was her last ditch effort to save the house. I decided it was time to meet.

"Well, what do you think of my offer?"

"I don't think it's going to work," I replied. "You did nothing but bitch at me the last six months we were together, what would be the difference now?"

"Well, I'd be upstairs and you'd be in the basement. Our contact would be limited, and we're only doing this to save what little nest egg we have. I think when the market opens up we'll make at least thirty thousand in profit on our place. I'd hate to lose that after all our work."

"You mean after all my work, don't you?"

"I lived there too, didn't I?"

"When you decided to grace us with your presence," I responded back sarcastically.

"Hey, I was going to school and studying," she shot back at me.

"Yeah right, tell me another lie why don't you." It was getting ugly all over again.

"I don't care what you believe, I wasn't cheating on you."

"Becky, this isn't going to work. The first time your asshole friends come over and get in my face I'm going to kick their butts out and it'll be a done deal. And, I'm sure as hell not going to be your live-in baby sitter while you go off gallivanting around every night. Why don't we just say we had a good run while it lasted and let it go at that?"

"Don't you even want to try?"

"Why? You were the one that wanted this divorce because I was the one who was holding you back after ruining your life, so excuse me if I don't have a lot of sympathy for you."

"I never said that."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You mean that you spending six days a week with your friends was more important than spending time with your family?"

"I was studying, for Christ's sakes. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You don't have to explain anything to me anymore. You're getting exactly what you wanted, and I hope you fucking choke on it." It wasn't going like Becky thought it would.

"How about if we set up rules for each of us? You know, who does what and when. That way there won't be any misunderstandings." She was pleading now.

God damn, I still loved this woman but hated her at the very same time. Maybe if we did this, she'd see what she'd be losing and drop this damn divorce. It was a long shot but it was my last chance.

"All right, you give me a list of your conditions and I'll make up a list of my own. We will see if we can come to some type of agreement," I told her.

"Great, give me a couple of days and then we can get together again." I didn't respond. "You'll see, we're two adults and I know we can make it work."

Two days later we exchanged lists and that's when fur flew. She lost about fifty percent of hers and I lost about a third of mine. She would do the cooking and shopping and I would take care of the house. We would split the child-care duties and each of us would have a free night either Friday or Saturday. I was emphatic that there would be no parties and NO overnight guests. We both agreed to the final terms, signed them, had the agreement notarized, and put into the divorce papers.

Getting caught back up on the bills was tough but we split the costs. Becky had to take out a loan for that and for school among other things. She was now working three to four nights a week and with her three classes she had literally no free time.

I was eating all my meals in the basement because it hurt too much to sit at the table and pretend we were still a loving family in front of Danny. Finally one night she brought the food she had made for Danny and herself down to my room and said that if I wasn't coming upstairs to eat with them, they'd be eating downstairs with me every night. I relented.

After about a month things were almost normal. We got along and even laughed with one another. We hadn't gotten along this well in the last year. I helped her with Danny whenever I could and when she asked me for a little help with her schoolwork I was more than willing. As I said, maybe this was the wakeup call we both needed.

When she came home late one Friday night plastered, I helped her upstairs, undressed her, and put her to bed. The following morning she couldn't take her eyes off me.

"Thanks for your help last night. I guess I had a little too much to drink and ended up having someone drive me home."

"No problem," I replied. It was nice to see her naked body again. After I had put her into bed, I beat off in my bathroom wishing I'd copped a few feels. Damn, I wanted her.

The divorce paperwork was going through the courts and was less than a month away. I was trying my best to show her that we should try again without actually coming out and saying anything when two things happened.

It was about two weeks before our divorce became final. That evening I was cleaning up the gym when she walked in. She was about twenty-two, just over five feet two with the body of an athlete, solid and firm. I guess she'd been working out in one of the back rooms and had startled me because I thought everyone had gone home. We exchanged looks as she walked towards the women's showers. I was just finishing up when she emerged dressed in jeans and a short tee shirt.

"Steve, isn't it?"

"Yes, Steve Moore to be exact," I said smiling at her.

"Hi, I'm Amber Collins. I teach the afternoon aerobics classes. Kenny let's me work out at night when most people are gone. This way I don't have to share the machines and have other people bothering me, that is unless I want to be bothered," she said smiling.

"Well, now that you're done, I can finish up with the women's locker-room and get the hell out of here. It's late and I'm hungry and tired all at the same time."

"How about if I help you and we grab a quick bite," she replied.

I wasn't sure how to take her offer but I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. I smiled and within twenty minutes we were done and out of there. She said she knew a nice place close by and I should follow her. After ten minutes we were inside and had ordered.

Deep, rich black hair, that was still damp from her shower, olive colored skin, and the greenest eyes I'd ever seen.

"Steve, if you stare any harder you're going to burn two holes through me," she said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry," I said somewhat embarrassed. "It's just that you are really beautiful, do you know that?"

"If that's a pickup line, you're going to have to do a lot better than that."

I blushed, hell, I must have turned red-faced like a damn high school kid.

"I'm sorry, I hope I didn't offend you, and I'm not trying to pick you up really," I stammered.

"Why the hell not? I'm not good enough for you?" That brought on an hour discussion on my sucko personal life.

"You see, I'm still trying to save my marriage," I told her.

"Wow, talk about going down to the wire. What are you going to do next week when it becomes final?"

"Still try until I can see no more hope of reconciliation."

"You're a better person than me. I would have dumped the bitch and moved on. Life is too short to spend it on someone that stupid." We talked on for about another hour.

"Amber, I've got to call it a night. I've got schoolwork I need to finish by tomorrow night, and a list of honey do's that won't quit. I really had a nice time tonight, maybe we'll see each other around again."

"Steve, I work at the gym, of course I'll see you around. I do wish you the best of luck, but if it doesn't work out keep me in mind. I can always use a workout partner." As I drove home I wondered what she had meant by that last comment.

The first thing I noticed when I pulled up into my driveway that was different was that there was a strange car in the driveway in my spot and Becky's car was still in the garage. Looking at my watch it was a shade past ten thirty so it was probably just be one of her friends visiting. I pulled into Becky's spot and walked into the house. The kitchen was clean and I didn't see or hear anyone so I went about my business.

I came upstairs about twelve thirty to get a beer when I heard a familiar sound from the next floor. Thinking I'd heard it wrong I quietly walked up the stairs and stood outside what had been our bedroom. When we made love, Becky wasn't quiet especially when she climaxed—that's what I had heard all the way in the kitchen. I could hear his voice from inside but I didn't stick around to hear what he was saying. I grabbed my beer from the kitchen and went back to my new bedroom.

Men aren't supposed to cry but I did anyway. Physically and emotionally I crashed that night. For the first time since I'd been served I realized my marriage was really over. Shit, she hadn't even had the courtesy to wait until our divorce became final next week. Two more beers eased the pain somewhat, but the emptiness was now settling in. I felt lost and alone for the first time in my life. I wanted to fucking die.

I was gone before anyone got up Sunday morning. She rang my phone later that afternoon but I let it go to voice mail, She was saying something about our usual Sunday night dinner but I'd lost my appetite and besides, she was the last person in the world I wanted to see.

Slirpuff
Slirpuff
4,277 Followers