Love's A Funny Thing

My absolute best friend, ever.

She was, well, perfect. We'd known each other since we were kids, everyone always said we'd end up married with kids of our own, well, they said that till I came out that is. She was the first person I plucked up the courage to come out to, of course. I remember it as though it were yesterday. I was so nervous. We were sitting together on her bed after school watching a movie, I had been planning to tell her for three week, plucking up the courage, then suddenly – there it was, I just blurted it out. "Becki, I'm gay."

Silence. Oh fuck. She hates me, she thinks I'm gross. Oh God Oh God Oh God, why did you tell her why? You fucking idiot Chris why??

Then laughter. Oh fuck. She thinks I'm kidding, Oh dear God don't make me explain!

"I'm not kidding Bex, I'm gay"

She turned to face me, she had the most beautiful Mona Lisa smile, it put me instantly at ease.

"I know you're not kidding honey, it's just the way you said it that's all"

"You don't mind"

"Credit me with a better personality than that hon," she said in mock annoyance "I love you, you're my best friend, besides, I kind of knew"

"How?"

She didn't answer, just tilted her head at me and gave me an 'Oh, come on!' look. It was gonna be OK, I knew it, at that very moment. Because even if the entire world hated me for what I was….she didn't, she supported me. The next day I was able to tell my parents, Bex was with me for moral support, they took it well, dad was a little disappointed although he tried to hide it, but they both told me they still loved me, and always would. I would be forever grateful to Becki for helping me take that first step.

Three years later and I'm walking back to the apartment I share with Bex in tears. We had moved in together a year ago and had been living happily ever after ever since, despite the fact that she hated my boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend now. I'd just found Carl in the arms of another guy. I'd gone to his apartment unannounced, hoping to surprise him with a very expensive bottle of Sancerre. 'Heh, you certainly did that Chris' I had to smile at the thought of the look on his face as the bottle of wine smashed on the wall behind him. I stormed out of his apartment in tears.

"Your home earl…..Oh Chris, baby, what happened"

Becki looked up at me from the sofa where she had been lying in her bathrobe drinking a glass of wine.

"He's cheating on me, he's fucking cheating on me!" I sobbed.

"Oh baby tell me what happened." she said, pulling me into her arms and cradling me as I sobbed.

"I went over to his place and he had his fucking tongue down some other guys throat" I said, my sorrow now tinged with anger, "I threw the wine at him and left, that's all there is to it"

"You threw the wine at him?" Becki started to snigger.

"Yeah," I was sniggering despite myself, "hit the wall, you should have seen his face."

We were both laughing now, tears still running down my face, but laughing too.

"Seriously honey, he doesn't deserve you, you're better off without him."

The laughter broke, once again replaced by tears, "Oh God Becki, I love him, I was gonna tell him tonight."

She pulled me into another hug, shushing me and letting me cry on her shoulder, rocking me like a baby till my sobs were replaced by deep, shuddering breaths. I looked up at her from her shoulders and we looked into each others eyes. I smiled as she leaned forward and touched her lips to mine, not an unusual occurrence, except this time she lingered, brushing my lips with her lower lip. My cock sprung to life, much to my surprise. Pulling away, she rubbed her thumb across my bottom lip, I closed my eyes and parted my lips as she leaned towards me again.

The doorbell rang and our eyes snapped open, as though the bell had awakened us from a trance. My dick deflated in surprise and guilt.

"I'll get it" Becki said, seemingly eager to get away from the situation, I didn't blame her, it was fucking awkward.

She opened the door and there stood Carl, at that moment I realised it, I didn't love him, I don't know whether I used to but there he was standing at my door, eyes full of tears and rather than running to him (I'm a running-to-him kinda guy) I just wanted him to fuck off.

"Fuck off" said Bex

"Let me explain to Chris Ok Bex? I think it's his decision whether I go or not"

Becki turned to me, silently asking me what I wanted to do, I looked past her at Chris, I saw the sorrow in his eyes, the regret, the silent plea for forgiveness.

"Fuck off" I said.

And with that Becki slammed the door.

She turned to me and smiled, "Well done Mr Assertive"

"Thank you Miss Slammy"

"Miss Slammy?"

"It's the first thing that came into my head"

"Call that wit? It's fucking awful"

I stuck my tongue out at her, she returned the gesture, bringing my attention to her mouth, making me remember how close we came to kissing, how soft her lips were, how her breath felt on my cheek…

Why was I thinking this, she's a girl, she's my best friend, I can't think of her this way.

"You better put that away before someone cuts it off." I realised I was still sticking my tongue out. Shit.

"You OK babe, you look distracted, wanna watch a movie or something, try and take your mind off that bastard???"

"Sure" I said, still embarrassed over the tongue thing, "why not"

She put a tape in a settled with me on the sofa. I wanted to talk to her about our almost-kiss, but couldn't, didn't know how to bring it up. "I'm sorry," she said out of the blue.

"What about?"

"Earlier, before Carl showed up, about what I did, almost did, it was…. inappropriate and I'm sorry"

She looked at me for the first time since sitting down. I looked into her deep blue eyes, looked over her face, her soft pink lips, her pale skin, her cheeks, rosy as she blushed. I leaned over and pressed my lips against hers in a kiss that I'd wanted since our lips first met that evening, a kiss that, if I was totally honest with myself, I'd wanted forever. This wasn't about gender, this wasn't about straight or gay, this was about us, the people beneath the flesh, this was about souls. I loved her, at that moment I felt that my heart had swollen so much it would burst through my rib cage, I couldn't breath I couldn't think, and the only thing to do about it was to kiss her, to be as near to her as possible, to fill my arms with her and absorb her warmth.

Our lips parted and I deepened the kiss, wrapping my arms around her. I never felt like this, to be so completely consumed with any emotion. I pulled away and looked into her eyes, I nearly cried when I saw longing and love there.

"Chris, I, this is nice, this is good, but you've just broken up with someone and your gay and…. I dunno, I don't want you to regret this."

"I will never regret this, I have never felt like this."

"Chris, you're gay."

"I know, but I love you, crazy isn't it?"

"Chris…"

"Not. Another. Word."

I scooped her up into my arms and carried her to my room, lay her down on my bed, a held her, kissing her face and neck. I slipped my hands into her robe and stroked her soft skin. She reached down and undid the belt, opening the robe to reveal her body to me. I'd never seen a naked woman before, not outside of a magazine or TV anyhow. I kissed down her neck to her chest, and held her breasts.

"Beautiful, like a painting" I thought aloud.

"Chris, I love you, I always have"

I nearly cried when I heard her say that.

"Which is why this cant just be a rebound thing"

"It isn't baby, really it isn't, please just let me prove it to you"

"Chris, I'm a virgin"

"Really?," I was shocked, Ok, Becki had never really had a steady boyfriend but we were 21, I'd kind of assumed.

"Yes, really, Chris I've been waiting for you. I knew it was stupid because of the gay thing," I chuckled at that "but I love you, have since we were kids. Which is why you can't use me. If this isn't real I don't want it, I cant, because it would break my heart, I'd rather live with the fantasy than die knowing I could never have you again."

"I would never hurt you, surely you must know that, not for the sake of sex, not for anything. I swear this is not just sex."

I kissed her, tenderly, holding her as though she were made of porcelain, as though she might break. "Are you sure you want this?" I asked. She nodded and I stroked her hair, looking into her eyes as I sat up and began to undress. Nerves suddenly overcame me as I realised what was about to happen. I felt like a virgin, and in a way I was. I'd never made love to a woman before, and I was scared, scared but excited. I lay back next to her, both of us now naked, and we held each other close, kissing and exploring each other. I grew excited quickly, swelling to my full length, the tip of my cock brushed against her stomach and she gasped. Closing her eyes and nuzzling my neck she reached down and gripped my cock, stroking it slowly, it felt wonderful having her small soft hands caressing me. I reached between her legs to return the favour. I had never done this before and I was nervous, I slipped a finger into her moist pussy, and then withdrew, exploring her outer lips and finding her clit. As I brushed the tiny button of flesh, she groaned into my neck and speeded up her strokes of my cock. I inserted two fingers into her and thumbed her clit, her body bucked and stretched as her breathing speeded up and I slid my fingers in and out of her faster and faster.

I lost track of time and my actions, only feeling her, but somehow I ended up on top of her, whether I rolled onto her of she pulled me over I don't know, we seemed to be moving as one at that point. We stilled as we both realised that my cockhead was between her pussy lips, one thrust and I would be in her. We looked each other in the eye.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Chris."

It was all I needed to hear and I thrust forward. Becki screamed, I panicked.

"Oh baby, are you alright, I didn't mean to hurt you, Oh God baby I'm sorry!"

"I'm OK, carry on baby, please."

I started to move, Oh God it was pure heaven, Becki's pained grunts quickly turned into moans. She moaned my name and I have never heard such a heavenly sound. I picked up the pace as she began to moan louder. "Oh baby," I moaned "I think I'm gonna cum soon, I'm sorry"

"Don't be" she said, as her body stiffened and her orgasm ripped through her. That pushed me over the edge and I came, spilling my hot cum into her body.

I collapsed on top of her as we struggled to catch our breath, "I love you," I whispered in her ear when I regained the ability to speak, but she was already asleep. We lay that night, and every night since, wrapped in each other's arms. I have to go now… can't be late for my own wedding day can I??