Loving James Ch. 04

"He said that." I said sourly. How could I forget?

"He likes you the way you are, Alex. All you have to do is believe him."

"How? It's like- a massive joke. I just keep expecting it to go wrong. It's like... I don't know... why do I deserve this? It's like someone fucked up and we're together instead of him and like the boy of his dreams..."

Sal sighed and I wiped my eyes quickly. I hate crying. I hate it.

"Alex." She hugged me again and this time I may have hugged her back a little. "You should tell him."

"What?" I jerked back from her. Was she insane?

"Just tell him how hard it is to believe you've got what you wanted and tell him that you can't just trust it's all going to work out yet, and ask him to be patient. And in the mean time, have some faith."

"Faith?" I glared at her. As if having faith had anything to do with anything!

Sal shook her head. She picked up my phone from the floor and handed it to me.

"Call him." She suggested. But it was that parental voice that really suggests that it's not a suggestion at all. "Ask him over, on a date, whatever. Alex- if you're worried, do something other than sit here and freak out. Ok?"

I hated it when she made sense.

I glared at her and took the phone, but I waited until she'd gone downstairs again.

Even then, I turned the phone over and over in my hands.

I wasn't sure I could do this. What if he didn't answer? What if we had nothing to say? What if we fought more?

I finally hit dial, and held my breath to hold down the nausea in my chest as the phone rang.

"Hey Alex," James sounded happy to hear from me when he answered his phone. Something lightened inside me.

"Hi." I said stupidly. I sounded like an idiot. I shouldn't have called. "Um. So... I was thinking... if you did really want to see that movie... we could probably go. I mean, I could try and..." Shit- what was I doing? I didn't want to sit through it! "I mean, otherwise we could go and see something else. I don't know what's on, though. Was there something else?" Rambling. I rested my forehead on my desk. At least I could kick myself without him seeing over the phone.

James gave a bit of a laugh. "You know, I was just looking up the movies in the paper. But you know... maybe we could hire something and make popcorn and just curl up at home and watch something."

I hesitated. There were advantages to this plan. Blankets, for instance. Good things could happen under blankets.

"Um," I said blankly.

"No?" James asked.

"No- not no. I mean, no, it sounds good!" Idiot! What was wrong with me? "So uh... you wanna come over?"

"Now?" James sounded surprised.

"Not if you don't want to. But I guess... you could stay over if you want."

James paused. "I'd like that. But- is that ok? With you?"

I let out a breath. "Seriously? Would I ask if it wasn't?"

James laughed a little. "I don't know." He said, but he actually sounded puzzled. "Cool. Well, I'll bring some food. I'll be there in a bit, 'k?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, see you soon."

After he hung up I sat there in disbelief for a moment, then ran around my room and tried to make it look clean. And then I ran to get through the shower before he arrived. He was staying over! Who knew where that would lead?

The doorbell rang as I was throwing on my clothes. I tore downstairs and nearly broke something, and threw open the door.

"Hi." James said, smiling. I let him in, and he shut the door and then looked at me. He had that warm look. I don't know how to describe it, but we ended up making out in the hallway. That sort of a look.

Until Sal cleared her throat. "Do I need to get the hose?" she asked pointedly.

"Sal!" What the hell is it about parents? Or stand-in parents, as the case may be? I mean, do they seriously have to say that shit? Are they trying to kill us with embarrassment?

James just gave a half laugh and grabbed my hand.

"We'll be good, promise." He told her, grinning, and then pulled me in the direction of the stairs. I'm sure Sal watched us go up.

And I'm also pretty sure that she was smiling as we went. Which was a good thing. Since it made me pretty sure she wasn't too serious about behaving after all.

"Movie?" James asked me as soon as I shut my bedroom door.

"Seriously?" I asked him. Was there something wrong with me? Or did he just not want sex? Or anything at all?

I must have sounded pissed off. He looked at me, and smiled.

"Yeah." He agreed. "With the volume up. To drown out... you know. Anything else."

Now that was more like it.

James fixed the movie on my computer. I perched on the edge of my bed and watched him as he took his shoes off. I was already in my pyjamas... and James looked me over quickly before pulling a pair of boxers out of his backpack and taking his jeans and underwear off all at once... and quickly pulling his boxers on.

Then he caught me pouting and laughed at me.

He kissed me, holding my head in one of his hands... I didn't want him to pull away.

"Bed?" he asked softly.

"Yeah." I breathed.

Finally. Finally.

We got in and pulled the covers up so we were mostly covered, leaning back on my pillows so we were half propped up.

It suddenly felt weird. Like actually being boyfriends. I think I would have frozen up, but James didn't seem to notice. He just fitted himself next to me, then turned to me and started stroking his fingers through my hair. He smiled at me, close, and moved forward to kiss me.

I opened my mouth and let him kiss me, let him wrap around me. Fuck, this was good. Better than it should have been, considering it was only making out.

"Can I do this?" James murmured against my skin.

"What?" I whispered back. I was almost afraid of speaking too loudly.

"Sort of... take over." James answered softly. "I want to... touch you all over. Explore you. Can I do it? I want to go slow and learn you."

"Did you just say 'learn' me?" I demanded. The anxiety was fizzy and sharp under my skin.

"Well, yeah." James admitted, but he gave me a crooked smile too.

"You mean... you don't want to fuck me?" The words tumbled out of me.

"I do." He answered after a small pause. "But I guess... I want... it still feels new, you know? So I guess I just want to... mess around a bit. Is that ok?"

I hesitated. Ok. So this meant what? He didn't want to fuck me? He had no real plans to stick around at all, and not fucking me meant he wouldn't feel so bad about buggering off? He didn't want to fuck me yet? He wanted to know how I liked it? Couldn't I just tell him?

"What I mean is that there's more to us than sex, right? And I want it to be right."

I looked back at him, and his fingertips trailed over my stomach. My muscles flinched. Fuck, I wanted this anyway.

"Ok, fine." I answered. "As long as I fucking come."

James gave a soft chuckle and kissed me.

"Damn straight." He agreed, smiling. His fingertips were still on my stomach, slowly getting lower, finally nudging the waist of my pyjama pants.

I half held my breath and his fingers moved under the flannelette, brushed through my pubic hair. I let my eyes close as his hand finally closed around my dick.

"You know how hot that is?" James suddenly murmured.

"What?" I shot back, forcing myself to breathe. I looked at him, and James kissed me, demanded I let his tongue into my mouth.

"The way you get all tensed up."

"Shut up," I told him. It wasn't very convincing though. Especially as it became a groan half way through, when he started running circles around my cockhead with his fingers. I was damp, leaking pre-cum already. God, I wanted this so badly.

"Huh." James breathed, and I grabbed him and brought him close for another kiss. Fuck, who was I kidding? This was definitely not worthy of complaining about.

I pulled my pyjama top off and chucked it somewhere on the floor. James made a soft murmuring noise and nuzzled my neck, his hand changing to a firmer grip around me.

"Ah, yes," I hissed.

"Like that?" James whispered back, his tongue dancing over my skin.

"Uh huh. Mmm..." I reached to touch him. Fuck, this was good. Better than I'd thought it would be.

James slowly fisted me, his other hand resting on my chest, thumb rubbing my nipple. My hands were in his hair, holding him close, and my hips were moving.

It was slow and it was fucking torture... but at the same time I never wanted it to stop.

"James," I mumbled, feeling completely bereft as his hand moved away from my dick. "James, please..." He made a soft, satisfied noise, cupping my balls. "Fuck..."

He moved half onto me and starting kissing me hungrily again. His skin was hot and soft against mine. I really really liked that. I really really wanted more of it.

I struggled to get my pyjama pants off. James realised what I was doing and helped, then grinned at me.

"What?" I demanded. James only smiled wider and began sliding down the bed, lifting the covers as he went so he disappeared under them. "Ohhh, fuck," I said aloud, resting back on the pillows. I felt stiff and jerky, waiting for James' first touch.

His tongue. He licked me. "James," I said, probably too loudly. Whatever. "Ohh, yessss," I sucked in a breath, and squeezed my eyes shut as the heat of his mouth closed around me.

This was heaven. I mean, God, Angels -- whatever. This was kind of how I'd like to spend eternity. Oh yes.

James sucked me and began to bob, but he did it all so slow. I didn't know if he was teasing me or if he was just taking his time and doing his 'learning' thing but it was seriously more than I could take.

"You're teasing me," I growled (whined. Something.), sliding my fingers into his hair. He laughed softly and then let my cock fall out of his mouth.

"No, no," I gasped. I didn't mean for him to stop!

James laughed softly again, and then his tongue was licking my balls.

I groaned.

And there was a finger. He was rubbing my hole with it, teasing me. I don't like being teased. I hated it. But I was damn sure James wasn't going to be listening to me right then so I bit my tongue and ... it did feel really good.

I was moving, writhing between his mouth on my balls and his finger against my butt. Neither of them was really giving me what I wanted, but it was good, it was driving me crazy. And I wanted more.

"James. Please..."

James ignored me. I'd been pretty sure he would. But I still wanted more and I tried to pull his head back up to my cock.

I was surprised and relieved when it worked, let James get back to sucking me and let my head fall back. His mouth was hot and wet, but most of all- it was his.

The familiar tightening sensation told me I was getting closer to coming, but James pulled off before I got so close that I thought he'd done it on purpose. He slid back up my body, smiling at me. He was glowing, pink. His mouth was dark and moist and fucking hot.

I pulled him close to kiss me and he made a soft groan in his chest, pressing his body tighter against mine. I liked the feel of his cock against mine and ground against him. James' fingers dug into my butt and he kissed me harder.

"Alex," he hissed, and it made me all warm in my chest.

"Uh huh," I murmured back to him, kissing him again and trying to grind against him harder. "Ugh- James, I'm-" I lost my train of thought as his fingers slid into my crack again. "Please," I didn't mean to beg him, but I was desperate. Needed.

James smiled at me. He looked hungry and flushed, nowhere near his normal calm self.

I tried to pull him closer. James pulled away, grinning at me again and sliding back down my body.

"Oh god oh god," I held by breath and then his mouth was trailing down my stomach and I had to gasp for air again. I had object to this why? "James..."

He rumbled in his chest as he mouthed my balls and my head tipped back.

"James- James..." I was getting closer and closer and closer...

And then he was pushing a finger into me.

"AH- ah..." closer than ever. "James... ungh..."

He moved back and sucked my cock back into his mouth as he pushed his finger deeper into me. I wasn't sure which action I wanted to encourage more. I got stuck in the middle instead.

I don't think James noticed. He just started moving his finger as he sucked me, started touching that spot inside me and making me see sparks.

"James- James I'm going- I'm-" And then the white hot overtook me and I was arching against him... I came in his mouth, his finger inside me and my balls cradled in his hand. God, and what an orgasm.

"Uhhh," I groaned. Drained. Exhausted. Completely satisfied. I'd had sex before... I'd messed around before... but not like this. What the hell had this even been? I just wanted more.

James laughed softly. I expected cuddles, kissing. James seemed to like that. But he was sitting up where he was kneeling between my legs, his boxers gone, somewhere down the bottom of my bed (who knew) and stroking himself.

My mouth went dry. I watched the flushed head of his dick vanish into his palm and reappear as he stroked himself, languidly at first and then faster.

"Uh," He groaned, tipping his head back. Did he want me to suck him off? My butt? What was he doing here?

He looked down at me and smiled then, leant forward over me and claimed my mouth.

"All good?" he asked me.

"Uh huh," I murmured back. He hesitated then. I mean, speaking, he did. But he was still jerking himself over me. I reached and stroked my hands down his body.

"Remember the other day? When you came on me? That was incredibly fucking hot." He finally blurted. I wasn't sure if I imagined it or if he was pinker than before.

"Come on me, babe," I told him, stroking my hands back up his chest to his nipples, speaking softly and close to his ear. "You wanna mark me? Make me yours? Come on, James. Come. Get it all over me."

James gave a noise that was slightly unsteady.

"Then I'm gonna make you lick it up. Your cum and my cum, all together. All of it. You like the sound of that?" I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to say or not, but James seemed to like it. He ducked his head and came with a rough groan, his cum splashing onto me, hot and sticky.

I pulled him to me for a kiss, felt the rapid rise and fall of his chest against mine.

"Fuck, Alex..." he whispered. I grinned at him.

"You didn't want to." I told him cheekily, and reached down to find his softening prick. "Aw. Maybe next time."

James shot me a flat look and I laughed, moving closer to his warmth.

How lucky could a guy get?