Lucian Ch. 06

The music was loud; drums and bases filled their ears and made their bellies vibrate. Lucian wrapped his arm around Charlie's body as they crawled forward. The boy felt hot; he trembled in his embrace.

The lawn was a mess.

Tables had been pulled to the side, some of them toppled over, cloths and candleholders, chairs and plates and glassware joining the furniture like so much debris. Men had shed their jackets and ties, some even their shirts. A few girls danced topless and barefoot. Two of them had huge breasts, swaying wildly as they moved.

He recognized a few Barbs too, some hanging on to their men, others making out at the edge of the lawn.

"Now they dare," he whispered to Charlie. "With Parker gone."

The boy looked at him, frowning.

"You really haven't a clue, do you?" he asked, sitting up against the stage. "Those are our sponsors. They pay our tuition."

Sitting next to him, Lucian watched the scene.

He saw the big chested violinist and a slender Barb removing a man's belt, giggling as they kissed him and then each other. The man pushed the Barbie's face down into his crotch, where her white hand held a tube of flesh. Its head sparkled with wetness - then her dark hair blocked the sight.

The man suckled on the violinist's breast.

"You mean this is how we repay?" Lucian asked.

Charlie shook his head.

"Not we," he said. "They do," nodding to the orgy.

They heard a chuckle from behind.

"Bob alarm," a voice said. It belonged to Nico, the Asian girl. She held on to a blond Barb; both were rather drunk. The girls each raised an open bottle of champagne, taking a swig from it.

"You should both be in bed, dumplings," she went on, slurring her words.

"I graduated last week," Charlie said, sounding defiant.

The information sent a huge smile to Nico's face. She clapped her hands.

"Now did you, honey?" she cried out, stumbling forward on her stiletto heels and pulling Charlie up into an embrace.

"So you're one of us now! Beautiful Charlie is a Barb! I'm so happy for you. Come, let's tell the others."

Without minding Lucian, the two tipsy girls pulled Charlie with them and out onto the lawn. A wave of twittering voices reached him when the boy was met by some of the dancing Barbies. Soon he was moving with them, his pale body reflected by the light of the moon and the lanterns - his skimpy robe gone.

Lucian retreated into deeper shadows as he watched what happened.

No one had told him anything about graduation. Was it just Charlie, or had more Bobs been transferred to Barb level? And if so, what did it mean? What happened? Was it even true?

The group around Charlie opened up.

Keeping the boy at their center, they moved him to the edge of the lawn, where a tall blond man had his cock sucked by a kneeling woman in a tattered white evening dress. Both looked up, alerted by the noise of the approaching group.

"Mr. Sanders!" he heard Nico call out. "Please meet Charlie, our most beautiful sweetheart. She just graduated and she'd love to thank you for that."

Lucian climbed to his feet and slunk back.

Then he ran around the stage, crossing the far side of the lawn. There he flitted from bush to bush until he sat in shadows only yards from where the girls took Charlie.

Lucian looked past the man's back straight into the boy's face. He felt the same impact Charlie must have on the man - his porcelain face, smiling under the shock of silver curls; his slim, fragile body, and yet an almost insolent greed beaming from his wide-open eyes.

He wants this, Lucian thought. He wants it.

"What's your name, honey?" the man asked.

He had a deep voice and didn't let go of the girl that was sucking his cock. His body stood silhouetted against Charlie and the Barbs who were in full moonlight.

"Charlie, Sir," the boy said, his voice clear as a bell.

"Such a beautiful name for a beautiful creature," the man said.

He murmured a few words to the sucking girl and pushed her off his cock. Charlie's eyes immediately went to the man's crotch. The Barbs giggled, nudging each other.

"Like what you see, sweetheart?" the man went on.

His pants hung on his shoes, moonlight outlining his strong, hairy legs. Lucian crawled a little sideways to see the cock rising straight from the man's groin, sparkling with wetness.

He'd never seen one as long - or fat.

"Come," the man said, inviting Charlie with his hand. "Let's see if it likes you too."

The giggling Barbs pushed the naked boy forward.

"Kiss it," the man said.

Charlie let his violet eyes rise from the cock back up to the man's eyes and down again. His narrow, pale hand reached out, trembling - his fingertips almost touching the penis. Then the man impatiently grabbed his hair and pulled his face to his cock.

The boy fell on his knees. His sweet cherry lips opened wide to take the penis in.

The Barbs cheered, dancing around the couple, some waving pieces of garment or bottles of wine. Closing in they formed a half circle around the tall man and the curly-headed boy.

Wet sucking sounds filled the air.

Lucian watched, wondering why he didn't feel shocked. Of course the possibility had always been there. There had been Drew's 'chores.' He remembered her sucking that awful man's cock in Parker's office.

Sex was a trade off at Norton's Academy of Excellence.

It wasn't a school at all, was it? It was a brothel where sex paid for the education - education for what? The violinist was really talented, Juliard, he'd heard. But still she was back there on her knees sucking cock. What about the singer? What about all the famed stars and models? Couldn't they pay their way from their blossoming careers?

Did they even get any of the money they made?

As he watched Charlie's silver head bob up and down on the man's cock he started feeling a hatred for himself; a sense of disgust for still harboring these silly notions of a hale, sympathetic world - still hanging on to illusions.

Feeling tears run down his cheeks, he crawled back into the bushes and turned to go back to the building, his room, and his bed.

He almost stumbled into Drew.

"Hi, Luce," she said. "Quite late for a Bob to be out. Shouldn't you be in bed?"

She looked as disheveled as the Barbs he'd seen out on the lawn, her short dark hair sticky and her make up smudged. Her speech was slow and slurred. The long dress hung open, exposing her chest. The silver moonlight painted shadows under two budding breasts - small and round, but clearly there.

He tried to get around her, but she stopped him.

"Kiss me please, Lucian," she whispered. "I missed you."

A wave of alcoholic fumes hit him. He shook his head and tore himself free. Walking back, he kept his eyes on her. Was it sadness he saw surfacing on her nondescript drunken face? Her eyes were wide; moisture sparkled.

"Please," she repeated.

He turned and ran.

***

Next day Norton's seemed to simmer under a collective hangover.

It was well past ten when Lucian ventured out to the breakfast room, where he only found Harper, Jo and Mu, the Chinese boy. Nobody served them, so he went looking in the kitchen, finding some fruit and orange juice.

"Morning," Harper said as he sat down at the table.

He looked as if he hadn't showered, hair a mess, face drawn and pale.

"You look as if you didn't sleep much," Lucian remarked. He bit in an apple, making the juice spray.

"Ah well," Harper said, clearing his throat. "You don't look really fresh yourself. What did you do? Why didn't you join us?"

Lucian studied his face; then watched Jo's. He didn't look much better. Wu's full-moon face was pale under his Asian tan.

"Join?" he asked.

"Last night, after the show?" Harper said, picking at a piece of pineapple. "Guess you're too special now?"

Special? What the fuck did he mean?

"What do you mean?" he said. "We were not supposed to be there."

Harper looked confused. Then he laughed.

"No, not at the lawn party," he said. "We aren't welcome there, remember? I mean at our dorm."

"I didn't know," Lucian muttered. "Nobody told me."

"Everybody knew," Jo interfered. "We were all there except you."

"And Charlie, of course," Mu added.

They all murmured.

"You didn't party?" Harper went on asking Lucian. "Then why do you look as shitty as we do?"

"Do I?" Lucian asked, involuntarily touching his face.

That was when Taylor entered, tall and blond - and greenish pale.

"Hi Luce," he said. "Iron Tits wants you. Damn, you look like shit."

"Haven't slept a lot," Lucian muttered, while slinking away from the hand on his shoulder. "Have you seen Charlie?"

"I doubt we will anytime soon," Harper answered.

They all laughed.

"She told me she graduated," Lucian went on. "Did you know?"

"Yes, the lucky little bastard," a voice answered from behind. It was Kelly, entering the breakfast room. He only wore his robe, but he seemed to have showered. "She takes Drew's place."

'She' he said. They all seemed to know, except for him.

"Drew's a... a Boob now, she told me," he mumbled. "So that's how it works."

Harper shrugged, saying nothing.

"You all seem to know," Lucian said. "Why don't I?"

Harper shrugged again.

"Because you never know shit," he said. "You never look, just being up there somewhere..." He fluttered his hand in a vague direction. "You never ask. You sit in your posh little room, crying and ignoring reality. You just deny you are like us. You are a snob, Lucian."

"I'm not..."

"Oh, but you are."

They all chuckled.

He rose. He knew they were right.

***

"This place is a whorehouse," Lucian said.

He'd gone to Parker's office straight from the breakfast room, only wearing his robe and short shorts. He noted the angry treble in his voice when he uttered the line.

"By all means sit down, Lucian," the headmistress said from behind her desk.

She smiled, not at all upset by his rude opening line. Her white silk blouse was as immaculate as her perfectly made up face. There was no trace of the night before.

Maybe she really went to bed early.

He sat down, not noticing how his right hand automatically straightened the robe's hem over his crossed thighs.

"A whorehouse," Parker repeated, emphasizing the word by stretching the syllables. "You mean like a bor-dello?" Again she stretched the word; she must be mocking him.

"You know what I mean," he muttered.

Both Parker's hands rose in a questioning gesture.

"No," she said. "I don't know, and why would I?"

Lucian sat stewing; he was too agitated to answer.

"Sorry, I really try to understand what you mean," Parker went on. "But I have a hard time imagining me sitting here as a - how do they call it - a Madame collecting - what? Fifty for a blowjob; a hundred for a fuck?"

She pouted her painted lips in distaste as she pronounced the vulgar words. Lucian looked away; he felt embarrassed by her obvious patronizing.

"Your students had sex with their sponsors," he said, turning back to watch her. "I bet it was their payback for last year's contributions - or maybe next year's. So that makes them... well... prostitutes. And as you were the one to organize it all, this school is just a fucking whorehouse!"

Once more his voice trembled with anger.

It again didn't really shock the headmistress. Her smile had gone, though.

"I should be mad at you, Lucian," she finally said. "I should be hurt by what you say - offended and insulted I guess."

By now Lucian's head floated in a hot mixture of anger and embarrassment, tightening his view until it only focused on the woman's face. Her quiet equanimity fed his rage as he thought of the gross exploitation on the lawn. He again saw Drew's lips kissing the jowls of the fat man as she sat in his lap, laughing with him as his beefy hands pawed her. He also saw the red dressed violinist again, sucking on a man's cock. And most of all he saw sweet Charlie's curls bob up and down while blowing the arrogant man with the hairy legs.

"But how can I be mad at you, sweet lovely Lucian?" Parker asked, commenting on her own words. "You are so... innocent. You really don't have a clue, do you? Couldn't it just have been a party? Even you must have been to parties, honey, where people drink and dance, and where they do... things to each other as consensual adults. You know: dancing close, starting to like each other, wanting to have a good time?"

Lucian shook his head slowly.

The woman was trying to make a fool out of him - a clueless hick who didn't know about the real world. He'd been to parties - at his parents' house, and even a few times at classmates' places. There had been flirting and grabbing, kissing and dirty things going on in niches and closed rooms, and in cars on parking lots.

He knew parties - and this hadn't been one.

He also knew Parker would deny it all, making it into an ordinary though pretty wild happening. Adults venting, alcohol flowing, you know. Shit happens.

"By the way," Parker said, sitting straighter. "How would you know anything of what happened on the lawn? Exactly because we want to protect you, you and your classmates were forbidden to be there after the show ended, remember? How could you have been there?"

He looked at her quietly.

He knew the item was bullshit - a distraction. His forbidden presence was nothing compared to what he saw last night.

"Charlie took me there," he said, after hesitating for a bit. "I understand he graduated last week, so he's a Barb now."

Parker didn't answer.

"He told me," Lucian went on. "I didn't know."

Parker once more held his gaze, saying nothing. Awkwardness grew into irritation.

"Everybody knew," he added after what felt like minutes. "And they all know what it means."

Finally Parker nodded.

"They all know and you don't," she said, nodding some more. "And why is that, you think?"

He recalled Harper's words, only moments ago.

"I have to know what this graduation is all about," he said, ignoring her rigged question. "If I'm expected to follow that same route I have a right to know."

"A... right," Parker murmured. Then she looked hard at him.

"As I said before, these first months you deserved a bit of slack, honey. They just... dumped you here, I guess, unprepared and confused. It must have overwhelmed you. But a right?"

The woman paused, just staring at him, her big eyes framed by her glasses.

"Who ever told you that you have rights?" she went on asking. "What rights?"

The words sent a gush of cold air his way. He saw Parker rise and walk to him. When she stood close, her fingertips lifted his chin, forcing him to look up.

"We have been patient with you, Lucian Gaines," she said. "Maybe too patient."

Her face floated in a halo of backlight, so he could hardly see her eyes.

"You are beautiful and promising, talented too," she went on. "But you don't seem to appreciate that at all. We watched you struggle, noticing how you only saw atrocities in whatever this perverted school was forcing on you. Even when you gave in, your heart was elsewhere. You needed it to be all make belief, didn't you? Your real self lived a separate life in your own little save world, hanging on to it while it dwindled and dwindled."

Her eyes became clearer as she moved in even closer - they showed pity. Then her smile disappeared.

"Lucian Gaines," she said. "You live an illusion. You think you have options, but you don't. We can't allow you to go on living in denial and delusion. Please understand: we are your only option."

Her breath felt hot on his upturned face. There was a hint of mint.

He tried to avoid her eyes, but her fingertips kept turning him towards her. The edges of her long fingernails made dents in his skin.

"You think there is an outside world where you could exist - where you even might belong," she went on. She shook her head. "Forget it, honey. Even if it's there, it will kill you. It has been killing you as long as you live."

She took a step backwards, letting go of his chin. She smiled again, softening her expression.

"Look at yourself, Lucian," she said, spreading her hands as if to present him to himself. "Look and tell me what chances you have beyond the walls of this academy. Then tell me who you think you are fooling."

Taking another step back she made her head lean to the left as she appraised him.

"My God, boy," she almost whispered. "It's all there and you just don't want to accept it. You're unique, don't you know? Goddammit, try to see that, Lucian; try not to throw that away. Every student here, and even the teachers envy you for what you have. Stop destroying yourself. Let go and become that unique creature. Be the Lucian you can be; the one you want to be. Stop fighting!"

He said nothing. He just sat and shivered.

Parker took a deep breath that made her chest rise and fall in her severely ironed blouse. Then she shook her head again, as if to free it from sad and irritating thoughts.

"Well, anyway," she went on, gripping her left elbow with her right hand and rubbing it. "If you don't cooperate, we will decide for you. As of this afternoon you won't live your isolated life anymore. You'll pack your things and move into the First Level's dorm."

The unexpected turn of events made him jump from his chair. It also rendered him speechless.

He realized how important his small single room had become. It was like a sanctuary - the only place save enough to hide and breathe out his daily-accumulated shame and frustrations. The only place, he now felt, where he needn't wear his mask or project a person he wasn't.

Parker's decision felt like getting the solid floor pulled out from under his feet - leaving him floating in thin air.

"But," he was finally able to say. "But you can't. I paid for my single room!"

There was another long silence.

Parker seemed in no hurry to end it. Then she turned to her desk and picked up a letter. He saw it had the logo of his mother's law firm on it.

"I guess she didn't even bother to tell you," she said. "But I'm afraid there will be no more money to pay for anything, sweetie. I have no idea which deal she struck with your father, but it certainly doesn't include your tuition. Please, sit down."

An insistent buzz invaded his head as he sagged down again on the chair opposite the desk. The world around him retreated. Parker, now behind her desk again, seemed to be far off.

He saw how she put the letter in front of her.

The fresh red polish on her fingernails caught the light as she moved them to square a pen and a blotter with the letter. Then she looked up, every trace of softness gone.

"As you know I promised your mother and her lawyers that the Academy will sue her and your father for breaking their contract about your tuition," she said. "Our solicitor thinks we have a good chance, but these things take time - a lot of time. Until then you'll have to pay your way."

She allowed a tired little smile to touch her lips.

"That is," she went on, "if you decide to stay, of course. Which you will, because you don't have a choice, really."

Everything inside him raged against her smug conclusion. Even more so because he knew she was right. He plucked at the hem of his robe, just to have something beside the woman to concentrate on.

He felt awful about staying at Norton's, but it would be even more horrible to leave and beg for his father's support. And he'd have to beg, for without his support, how could he survive at all out there? Then again: how could he survive what his father planned for him?