Lynn

"This one's for you, Lynn," I thought as I called the last count. There was the briefest of pauses, and then the center shoved the ball into my hand. We were tired, it had been a long season, and I half expected the line to buckle. Had there been college or pro scouts in the stands that night, they would have signed every single lineman to a lifetime NFL contract. No professional team worked as well as those guys did that night. I had enough time in the pocket to do my laundry and make a sandwich before I had to worry about getting nailed.

The defense, expecting a run play, was caught off guard when they saw me drop back, rolling right. Todd was off like a shot, making his twenty yards in the blink of an eye. He planted his left foot and came across the field, turning at the ten-yard-in mark. The ball had left my hand on autopilot, a thirty-yard frozen rope that hung there like a brown, fat bullet and hit Todd right in the numbers. There was a tiny, pristine moment when it looked like he was going to drop it, and then Todd found the handle, planted his other foot, and blazed past his stunned defender. It was thirty yards to the end zone, and as Todd gained speed, I looked over at the sidelines. The coach was smiling at me, and he gave me the thumbs-up, saying that he understood. I chanced a quick glance over at Lynn. She was jumping up and down, this incredible smile on her face. I looked downfield, and Todd was just crossing the goal line. He ran into the end zone like a man with a rocket strapped to his ass; his nearest pursuer was ten yards away. He ran across the width of the end zone, holding his forefinger in the air. It was a meaningless touchdown in a blowaway championship game, but for Todd... for Todd it was the culmination of four long years of hard work. A touchdown in the final seconds of the state championship game. I felt my heart welling, and tears in my eyes as the whistle went off, the crowd emptying onto the field. Todd made his way through the crowd, through the backslaps, tearing his helmet off. He didn't let go of the ball, though. Not until he got to Lynn.

She stood, waiting for him, her hands clasped across her breasts. Todd stopped short in front of her and looked down at her proud, tear-streaked face. He just smiled wider, and then shyly, he handed her the ball. Lynn took it in her left arm, and threw her right arm around Todd's neck. As my teammates lifted me onto their shoulders, the entire scene was framed for me like the final shot of a sports movie. The cheering crowd on the field, Todd and Lynn kissing like a returning war hero and his bride, and above them, above it all, the scoreboard, with the 00:00 blinking and the score screaming at me in six-foot high white bulbs: 34-0. It was a perfect ending to a perfect season.

Later, in the locker room, the guys drifted out until it was just Todd and me. He sat in front of his locker, still in his gear, as if he was reluctant to take it off. He just stared into the interior of his locker, breathing slowly and evenly. I'd showered and changed, and was preparing to leave. I sat on the bench next to Todd.

"Great catch, man," I offered.

"Yeah." His voice was distant. "Great throw," he added after a minute. "Just like we practiced... since I was seven." He laughed, a hollow laugh that made me feel suddenly wary. A little voice in the back of my head was screaming that something was up.

"I wanna thank you, man. You didn't have to do that. You took a big chance. I could have let you down, you know."

I clapped him on the back. "Nah," I said. "I knew you wouldn't."

"Yeah." Again, that hollow laugh. "Just like you didn't. Let me down, I mean." And then I knew. Todd knew. She told him. I looked at the floor, feeling my jaw clench. Was this the end of our friendship?

"I want to thank you again, man...." He let his breath out in a huge, long rush. "Lynn told me. About what happened up at the lake. She told me everything." I waited for the other shoe to drop. "And..." Todd stopped, searching for the words. "And... I'm not sure I could have done what you did, if the situations were reversed." Todd turned and caught the look on my face, and quickly moved to clear his position. "I mean... I probably couldn't have... stopped. I understand how it happened, and why it happened. And I want to thank you -- for letting me keep my girlfriend."

That stunned me. "Todd!" I started. He held up a warning hand.

"No, David... no. Don't. You're the starting QB. Captain of the team. BMOC. Handsomest guy in class. Straight-A honor student. Friend to all, enemy to none. You can stop me any time."

I laughed, and then he laughed, and some of the tension was broken. "Seriously, David. If you and Lynn had ended up making love up at the lake, it would have been over for her and me. A girl's first -- that's something special. Something that can only happen once. My dad told me that women need a reason to have sex, and men just need a place. She gave you a reason, and you... did the right thing. The right thing by her, by me, by all of us, and I'll never forget it." He paused, as if he was thinking whether or not to finish it, and then he went ahead anyway. "Part of me wants to hate you for what happened. But... I was there, you were here, she needed someone, and I couldn't be here... you were. You grew close. It happens. But it all came out okay. Lynn and I are still together, and I trust her more, now, than I did. I know she loves me, and I know I love her. And for that, I want to thank you. I'll never forget it."

I stood and clapped him on the back. "Talk to you later, man. Go find Lynn, go up to the lake, and enjoy yourself. I'm going home and going to bed." I was almost out of the locker room when his voice reached out to me.

"David?"

"Yeah, pal?"

"How was it, man?"

"How was what?"

"Lynn. I still haven't gotten my hands on those tits!" He laughed, and I knew he was kidding. Sort of. I walked back over to him.

"Todd... they're just bags of fat and skin. It's not her tits you want, it's what's under them that you want. Her heart. And that, my friend, that you've already got."

"Yeah, " Todd agreed, "but she let you see them. And touch them. She let you touch her places she won't let me. How do you think that makes me feel?"

I sighed. "Todd... this may sound strange, but here goes. When Lynn and I were up at the lake, it was the right time and place for... what happened. You and her just haven't gotten to that time and place yet. It has nothing to do with you specifically. She's just waiting until the right moment. Believe me, man, she loves you more than any man has a right to expect. Me, you -- anyone. When the time and place are right, she'll give herself to you in a way she could have never given herself to me, or any other man. What you two share is... perfect and special and wonderful. When the right time and place come along, you'll understand what I mean."

"Yeah, I guess," Todd said softly. I clapped him on the shoulder and left.

June, 1973

The prom was winding down when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to face Todd. He took my date's hand from mine and escorted her to the dance floor. As Todd left my line of sight, I saw Lynn standing there, looking gorgeous in her special dress. She held out her arms, and I walked over and escorted her to the dance floor after Todd and my date.

It was a slow song, but not an overly romantic one. Lynn and I stared into each other's eyes. I was leaving the next week for the Naval Academy. This was probably our last chance to be together. Midshipmen didn't get a lot of time off.

"Looking forward to the Navy, David?" Lynn asked, and I just nodded. "Aren't you glad the war is over?"

"Well, we've still got guys over there," I started, and immediately regretted it. Lynn saw my stricken expression and smiled softly.

"It's ok. You can talk about it. If anyone has the right to talk to me about Kevin, it's you." Her hand came down from my shoulder and found my right wrist. A sterling- silver MIA bracelet was around that wrist. It said simply "Lt. Kevin Walker," and below that, "USA 6-23-72 Laos." I'd gotten it from the Association of POW and MIA Wives in Washington DC, and I'd sworn to myself that I'd wear it until either Kevin came home, or his body was accounted for. I hadn't made a big deal out of the bracelet; as a matter of fact, I hadn't told anyone. Lynn had just... noticed it. "I can't tell you how much it means to me that you... made the effort to remember my brother."

There wasn't anything to say, so I didn't say anything. We just danced the rest of the number, staring into each other's eyes. I knew something Lynn didn't know I knew. She and Todd were going to be spending the night in a hotel room that I'd helped him bankroll. Tonight, as Todd had solemnly informed me, was "The Night." I'd even grabbed a couple of condoms for him; he was too embarrassed to buy them himself.

As the music ended, I leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek. Then, unable to resist, I whispered in her ear, "Have fun tonight," and straightened up. Lynn was blushing to the roots of her naturally blonde hair. She punched me on the arm and then gave me a wicked smile.

"I will!" she promised, turned and returned to Todd's side. My date came back to me, and we spent the rest of the night in each other's arms. I took her to the lake in my Mustang that night, and yeah, I fucked her in the back seat of the car. As I rose and fell above my date that night, I wondered what Lynn and Todd were doing, and if they were having as much fun as I was.

I figured they were probably having more. Discovering each other's body for the first time was an incredible experience, and I was glad that Lynn had managed to save herself for Todd. I'd given Todd some quick lessons on what to do, aided by my parent's copy of "The Joy of Sex." He'd been simply amazed at all the different positions two people could twist themselves into, and I'd cautioned him into going slow, taking his time. I explained how a girl needs much more foreplay than a guy, and told him that Lynn would enjoy herself much, much more if he went slow and was patient with her.

I left for Annapolis the next week. I said goodbye to Todd at the train station. Lynn didn't attend, but Todd sent her regrets and her goodbyes. That was the last time I saw Todd.

October 1982

The voice caught me by surprise. It was the same. Honey-sweet with a touch of huskiness. "Hey, stranger!" I turned, and Lynn was standing there. She was older, more mature, as was I, but she still held the youthful beauty that had attracted me to her in the first place.

"Hey yourself!" We ran into each other's arms and hugged like old friends do. Separating, we took stock of each other and smiled even wider. As a teenager, Lynn had been cute and sexy. As an adult, she was a knockout. Her hair was longer now, held back in a saucy, bouncy ponytail that made her look great. Her body was the same, a little fuller through the hips, and through the bust, but it was still a powerful male-motivating figure, and I knew that I was still powerfully attracted to her. Hell, you'd have to be dead not to be!

She held my hands in hers and then looked down. My right wrist was sticking out of my jacket, and she saw the silver bracelet. It was a little scarred, little nicks and grooves testifying to the years I'd worn it. I'd been true to my word; I hadn't taken it off but twice in the intervening ten years. I had a permanent tan line on that wrist, something I was very proud of.

"You dear, sweet man," she said softly, lifting one palm to cup my cheek. We locked gazes for a long moment, and then she dropped her hand back to mine. "So? Tell me? What are you doing with your life? Judging by that haircut, you're still in the Navy! What should I call you? Admiral?"

I laughed. "Hardly. Lieutenant is more like it. I'm up for Lieutenant Commander, but I probably won't make it this time. I'm still a little young. And I'm not due for a command quite yet. But... I'm back. I've been assigned to the hospital up near Pave Creek."

At the mention of the word "hospital," Lynn's eyes clouded, and she looked a silent question at me. "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to explain. I was in an accident during my Junior Cruise. Fell off the flight deck of the USS Nimitz onto an aircraft elevator. Broke my leg in three places. Jets went out the window, couldn't pass the flight physical. The doctor that flunked me told me to consider medicine. I went to medical school on the Navy's dime, and I've got four more years of my six before I can retire. I probably won't though. Being a Navy sawbones is kind of a nice way to make a living."

"You're a doctor?" Lynn asked, and I nodded. "What kind?"

"Trauma surgeon. Flight surgeon, actually. I can pass the flight physical for crewman, but not pilot."

"What does that mean?"

"That means that every six months I threaten one of the reserve pilots into taking me for a spin in an F-14D or F/A-18 so I can get some jet time. What happens up in the cockpit is the pilot's decision, and you wouldn't believe how cooperative they get when I threaten to flunk them on a flight physical! So, I get to fly, sometimes, and I get to stay in the Navy -- and everything worked out for the best, I guess."

She just smiled. A little sadly, I thought. "So," I asked, "how did things work out for you and Todd?"

Lynn held up her left hand and wiggled her bare ring finger at me. "They didn't." She saw my expression and burst out laughing. "Oh, no! That night in the hotel was... very special, and it went off without a hitch." She laughed even harder. "Todd told me about all the help you gave him." She paused. "I guess you didn't hear."

"Hear what?"

Her face clouded again, and I felt that same feeling in my stomach.

"Todd died. About two years ago." I felt the world start to spin, and I had to sit down. The crowd was cheering now, but the game was forgotten for me. At least, the game that was happening here, now.

"How?" I asked softly. Lynn sat next to me and wrapped her hands up in mine. Leaning her head against my shoulder, she spoke softly and evenly. "He started getting headaches and he had problems with his vision. The doctors found... a mass... in his head. Inoperable. He went fast, about six months. I was with him to the end." I was silent. Then I started to cry. I felt horrible. I should have been there. I should have known.

"Ah, shit," I said.

Lynn just stroked my arm and hand. "Listen," she said, "Come by my place tonight, OK? I've got something I want to show you. And we can play memory lane, and catch up on all our news. About eight, OK?" I just nodded, and Lynn stood. "See you then." And she was gone. I sat for a while, thinking about my best friend, glad that Lynn, at least, had been there for him when he needed it, just like I had been when she needed it. It all made sense, somehow.

Later that night, I went to Lynn's house. She answered the door dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. After a minute, I recognized the shirt. It was the t-shirt that Todd had worn underneath his jersey during The Game. It had been washed a thousand times since, but still bore our high school crest.

Lynn invited me in, and I could see that she'd been crying. We moved to the living room, and she sat next to me on the couch. "This is gonna be rough, David. Todd asked me to hold something for you. He wanted me to give it to you if I ever saw you again. We tried to contact you through the Navy, but it was during the whole Iran Rescue thing, and... well, no one at the Pentagon was talking. So, he wrote this," Lynn handed me a sealed envelope, "and asked me to give it to you."

I turned it over in my hands. It said, simply, "Scooter" on the front. My old nickname. I heard the name coming out of Todd's mouth a thousand times in my head, when we were kids, playing War and Cowboys & Indians and Cops & Robbers...

I tore open the envelope. It was a single handwritten page, and just like in the movies, and on TV, I heard Todd's voice as I read the words:

Scooter-

It's funny how things work out, buddy. By now, Lynn has probably
told you what's happening to me, and by the time you read this,
I'll be gone. I wanted to say goodbye to you in person, but
since we can't, I wanted you to know a few things. First, you
are the best friend I ever had, and I'll always love you. For
what you did for me all those years, and what you did for Lynn
when I couldn't be there. Most of all, for that one spectacular
moment in my life that wouldn't have existed if it were not for
your kindness and generosity. That touchdown was the most
perfect moment in my entire life, short as it is turning out to
be (haha), seconded only by my first night with Lynn, another
gift from you. You've enriched my life, and showed me what it
means to be friends, and I'll never forget you, buddy.

Goodbye.

Love always,

"Red Right 39" Todd

I was crying openly by the time I finished it, and I carefully folded the note and returned it to the envelope. I placed it inside my shirt pocket and tapped it once, feeling the painful thumping in my chest. Lowering my head to Lynn's lap, I let it all out as she held me and stroked my hair. We stayed that way for about an hour, and I finally managed to pull myself together.

I sat up, and Lynn moved into my arms. She kissed me once on the cheek, and then on the nose -- and then on the lips. And then it happened. We were both fighting against death, against the monster that had taken Todd... we wanted to feel alive and vital and human. Grasping, sweaty hands made short work of clothes, and before either of us knew it, we were naked on the couch, straining towards each other, feeling that long-denied passion growing and feeding on itself. I could feel Todd in the room, watching and smiling and cheering us on, as Lynn and I became one for the first time, enveloping each other in warmth and love and passion. It was a bit of unfinished business for us, something that gave closure to the entire affair, and it was the most spectacular, intimate, tender moment of my entire life.

We spent the night together, and then the rest of our lives. It wasn't ever announced or discussed. I just moved in. The drive to Pave Creek every morning took about an hour, but it was worth it to return home and into Lynn's arms and bed every night. The night I proposed still stands out in my memory, and we were married seven months later. Eleven months after that, Lynn gave birth to our son, David Todd Clark.

In the fall of 1991, my seven-year-old son started playing Pop Warner football. The day uniforms were issued, David Jr came home proudly wearing number 43. Todd's number. Lynn and I stood and cried and held each other while our son looked at his parents as if they'd lost their mind. We both knew that it was a cosmic joke from Todd, that he'd reached out from whatever is after this life and told us that he was still with us, that he still loved us, and that he was still thinking of us.